'here it is!' cried mr wonka, standing at the end of the bedand holding high in one hand a
little bottle. 'the most valuable bottle of pills in the world! andthat, by the way,' he said,
giving grandma georgina a saucy glance, 'is why i haven'ttaken any myself. they are far
too valuable to waste on me.'
he held the bottle out over the bed. the three old ones satup and stretched their scrawny necks, trying to catch a glimpseof the pills inside. charlie and grandpa joe also came forwardto look. so did mr and mrs bucket. the label said:
wonka-vite
each pill will make you younger by exactly 20 yearscaution!
do not take more than the amount recommended bymr. wonka
they could all see the pills through the glass. they werebrilliant yellow, shimmering and quivering inside the bottle.
vibrating is perhaps a better word. they were vibrating sorapidly that each pill became a blur and you couldn't see itsshape. you could only see its colour. you got the impressionthat there was something very small but incredibly powerful,something not quite of this world, locked up inside them andfighting to get out.
'they're wriggling,' said grandma georgina. 'i don't like thingsthat wriggle. how do we know they won't go on wrigglinginside us after we've swallowed them? like those mexicanjumping beans of charlie's i swallowed a couple of years back.
you remember that, charlie?'
'i told you not to eat them, grandma.'
'they went on jumping about inside me for a month,' saidgrandma georgina. 'i couldn't sit still!'
'if i'm going to eat one of those pills, i jolly well want to knowwhat's in it first,' said grandma josephine.
'i don't blame you,' said mr wonka. 'but the recipe isextremely complicated. wait a minute … i've got it writtendown somewhere …' he started digging around in the pocketsof his coat-tails. 'i know it's here somewhere,' he said. 'i can'thave lost it. i keep all my most valuable and important thingsin these pockets. the trouble is, there's such a lot of them …'
he started emptying the pockets and placing the contents onthe bed — a homemade catapult … a yo-yo … a trickfried-egg made of rubber … a slice of salami … a tooth with afilling in it … a stinkbomb … a packet of itching-powder … 'itmust be here, it must be, it must,' he kept muttering. 'i put itaway so carefully … ah! here it is!' he unfolded a crumpledpiece of paper, smoothed it out, held it up and began to readas follows:
recipe for making wonka-vite
take a block of finest chocolate weighing one ton (or twentysackfuls of broken chocolate, whichever is the easier). placechocolate in very large cauldron and melt over red-hot furnace.
when melted, lower the heat slightly so as not to burn thechocolate, but keep it boiling. now add the following, inprecisely the order given, stirring well all the time and allowingeach item to dissolve before adding the next:
the hoof of a manticore
the trunk (and the suitcase) of an elephant
the yolks of three eggs from a whiffle-bird
a wart from a wart-hog
the horn of a cow (it must be a loud horn)
the front tail of a cockatrice
six ounces of sprunge from a young
slimescraper
two hairs (and one rabbit) from the head of ahippocampus
the beak of a red-breasted wilbatross
a corn from the toe of a unicorn
the four tentacles of a quadropus
the hip (and the po and the pot) of a
hippopotamus
the snout of a proghopper
a mole from a mole
the hide (and the seek) of a spotted
whangdoodle
the whites of twelve eggs from a tree-squeak
the three feet of a snozzwanger (if you can'tget three feet, one
yard will do)
the square-root of a south american abacus
the fangs of a viper (it must be a vindscreenviper)
the chest (and the drawers) of a wild grout
when all the above are thoroughly dissolved, boil for a furthertwenty-seven days but do not stir. at the end of this time, allliquid will have evaporated and there will be left in the bottomof the cauldron only a hard brown lump about the size of afootball. break this open with a hammer and in the verycentre of it you will find a small round pill. this pill iswonka-vite.
