20 how to get someone out of bed
'i am sure,' said mr wonka, addressing grandpa george,grandma georgina and grandma
josephine, 'i am quite sure the three of you, after all that, willnow want to jump out of bed
and lend a hand in running the chocolate factory.'
'who, us?' said grandma josephine. 'yes, you,' said mrwonka.
'are you crazy?' said grandma georgina. 'i'm staying right herewhere i am in this nice comfortable bed, thank you verymuch!'
'me, too!' said grandpa george.
at that moment, there was a sudden commotion among theoompa-loompas at the far end of the chocolate room. therewas a buzz of excited chatter and a lot of running about andwaving of arms, and out of all this a single oompa-loompaemerged and came rushing toward mr wonka, carrying a hugeenvelope in his hands. he came up close to mr wonka. hestarted whispering. mr wonka bent down low to listen.
'outside the factory gates?' cried mr wonka. 'men! … whatsort of men? … yes, but do they look dangerous? … are theyacting dangerously? … and a what? … a helicopter! …and these men came out of it? … they gave you this? …'
mr wonka grabbed the huge envelope and quickly slit it openand pulled out the folded letter inside. there was absolutesilence as he skimmed swiftly over what was written on thepaper. nobody moved. charlie began to feel cold. he knewsomething dreadful was going to happen. there was a verydefinite smell of danger in the air. the men outside the gates,the helicopter, the nervousness of the oompa-loompas … hewas watching mr wonka's face, searching for a clue, for somechange in expression that would tell him how bad the newswas.
'great whistling whangdoodles!' cried mr wonka, leaping sohigh in the air that when he landed his legs gave way and hecrashed on to his backside.
'snorting snozzwangers!' he yelled, picking himself up andwaving the letter about as though he were swatting mosquitoes.
'listen to this, all of you! just you listen to this!' he began toread aloud:
the white house
washington
d.c.
to mr willy wonka.
sir
today the entire nation, indeed the whole
world, is rejoicing at the safe return of ourtransport capsule from space with 136 souls onboard. had it not been for the help they
received from an unknown spaceship, these 136people would never have come back. it has beenreported to me that the courage shown by the
eight astronauts aboard this unknown spaceshipwas extraordinary. our radar stations, by
tracking this spaceship on its return to earth,have discovered that it splashed down in a
place known as wonka's chocolate factory.
that, sir, is why this letter is being deliveredto you.
i wish now to show the gratitude of the
nation by inviting all eight of those incrediblybrave astronauts to come and stay in the whitehouse for a few days as my honoured guests.
i am arranging a special celebration party inthe blue room this evening at which i myself
will pin medals for bravery upon all eight ofthese gallant fliers. the most important
persons in the land will be present at this
gathering to salute the heroes whose dazzlingdeeds will be written for ever in the historyof our nation. among those attending will be
the vice-president (miss elvira tibbs), all themembers of my cabinet, the chiefs of the army,the navy and the air force, all members of thecongress. a famous sword-swallower from
afghanistan who is now teaching me to eat my
words (what you do is you take the s off the
beginning of the sword and put it on the end
before you swallow it). and who else is coming?
oh yes, my chief interpreter, and the governorsof every state in the union, and of course mycat, mrs taubsypuss.
a helicopter awaits all eight of you outside
the factory gates. i myself await your arrivalat the white house with the very greatest
pleasure and impatience.
i beg to remain, sir, most sincerely yours
lancelot r. gilligrass
president of the united states
p.s. could you please bring me a few wonka
fudgemallow delights. i love them so much buteverybody around here keeps stealing mine outof the drawer in my desk. and don't tell
nanny.
mr wonka stopped reading. and in the stillness that followedcharlie could hear people breathing. he could hear thembreathing in and out much faster than usual. and there wereother things, too. there were so many feelings and passionsand there was so much sudden happiness swirling around inthe air it made his head spin. grandpa joe was the first tosay something … 'yippeeeeeeeeeee!' he yelled out, and he flewacross the room and caught charlie by the hands and the twoof them started dancing away along the bank of the chocolateriver. 'we're going, charlie!' sang grandpa joe. 'we're going tothe white house after all!' mr and mrs bucket were alsodancing and laughing and singing, and mr wonka ran all overthe room proudly showing the president's letter to theoompa-loompas. after a minute or so, mr wonka clapped hishands for attention. 'come along, come along!' he called out.
'we mustn't dilly! we mustn't dally! come on, charlie! andyou, sir, grandpa joe! and mr and mrs bucket! thehelicopter is outside the gates! we can't keep it waiting!' hebegan hustling the four of them toward the door.
'hey!' screamed grandma georgina from the bed. 'what aboutus? we were invited too, don't you forget that!'
'it said all eight of us were invited!' cried grandma josephine.
'and that includes me!' said grandpa george.
mr wonka turned and looked at them. 'of course it includesyou,' he said. 'but we can't possibly get that bed into ahelicopter. it won't go through the door.'
'you mean … you mean if we don't get out of bed we can'tcome?' said grandma georgina.
'that's exactly what i mean,' said mr wonka. 'keep going,charlie,' he whispered, giving charlie a little nudge. 'keepwalking toward the door.'
suddenly, behind them, there was a great swoosh of blanketsand sheets and a pinging of bedsprings as the three old peopleall exploded out of the bed together. they came sprinting aftermr wonka, shouting, 'wait for us! wait for us!' it was amazinghow fast they were running across the floor of the greatchocolate room. mr wonka and charlie and the others stoodstaring at them in wonder. they leaped across paths and overlittle bushes like gazelles in spring-time, with their bare legsflashing and their nightshirts flying out behind them.
suddenly grandma josephine put the brakes on so hard sheskidded five yards before coming to a stop. 'wait!' shescreamed. 'we must be mad! we can't go to a famous partyin the white house in our nightshirts! we can't stand therepractically naked in front of all those people while the presidentpins medals all over us!'
'oh-h-h-h!' wailed grandma georgina. 'oh, what are we goingto do?' 'don't you have any clothes with you at all?' asked mrwonka.
'of course we don't!' said grandma josephine. 'we haven'tbeen out of that bed for twenty years!'
'we can't go!' wailed grandma georgina. 'we'll have to staybehind!' 'couldn't we buy something from a store?' saidgrandpa george. 'what with?' said grandma josephine. 'wedon't have any money!'
'money!' cried mr wonka. 'good gracious me, don't you goworrying about money! i've got plenty of that!'
'listen,' said charlie. 'why couldn't we ask the helicopter toland on the roof of a big shop on the way over. then youcan all pop downstairs and buy exactly what you want!'
'charlie!' cried mr wonka, grasping him by the hand. 'whatwould we do without you? you're brilliant! come alongeverybody! we're off to stay in the white house!'
they all linked arms and went dancing out of the chocolateroom and along the corridors and out through the front doorinto the open where the big helicopter was waiting near thefactory gates. a group of extremely important-looking gentlemencame toward them and bowed.
'well, charlie,' said grandpa joe. 'it's certainly been a busyday.' 'it's not over yet,' charlie said, laughing. 'it hasn't evenbegun.'