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CHAPTER XXI. UNCLE DICK.

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the day was drawing to a close. the children’s lessons were over, the last i was to hear. their books were piled away awaiting the arrival of my successor, and at my request i was left in the schoolroom alone—alone with my grief, which was indeed bitter and hard to bear, for i knew that injustice had been done me, and most keenly i felt the mortification of returning home in disgrace. very beautiful to me seemed that fair south land of which i had dreamed so oft, and i felt that i could not leave it.

through the open window i heard the shouts of the children, but i did not heed them, nor observe that throughout the entire house there seemed to be an unusual commotion. an hour went by, and then in the hall i heard the voice of jessie, and the words she uttered sent an electric thrill through my nerves, and brought me to my feet, for they were, “come this way, uncle dick. i reckon she’s in the schoolroom.”

the next moment he stood before me, the dark man, scanning me curiously, but still without anything like rudeness in his gaze.

“uncle dick’s come. this is him,” said jessie, leading him towards the spot where i stood.

a bright beautiful smile broke over his strongly marked 237features, and i felt as if a gleam of sunlight had shone for an instant over my pathway. taking my hand in his, he bade jessie leave us, as he wished to see me alone. she started to obey, but ere she reached the door, she turned back and asking him to stoop down, whispered in his ear, loudly enough for me to hear, “i want you to like her.”

“of course i shall,” he replied, and again that smile broke over his face.

i did not expect him to recognize me, for with the exception of the night at the theatre he had never fairly seen my features, and still i was conscious of a feeling of disappointment when i saw that he evidently had no suspicion of ever having met me before. when i spoke, however, and he heard the sound my voice, he started and looked me more fully in the face; but whatever his thoughts might have been, he seemed to be satisfied that he was mistaken, and seating himself at my side, he commenced conversing with me as familiarly as if he had known me all my life. gradually our conversation turned upon books, and ere i was aware of it i passed through what i now know to have been a pretty thorough examination of all the branches which mrs. lansing had wished me to teach, but so adroitly was the whole thing managed that it seemed like a quiet, pleasant talk, though i did wonder at his asking so many questions. french, was the last subject discussed, and here i was at fault, for my pronunciation i well knew was bad, although mr. delafield, who was himself a fine french scholar, told me it was quite as good as the majority of the americans who had neither lived in paris, nor had the advantage of a native teacher.

“you play, i believe. i would like to hear you,” he said at last, laying his hand on my shoulder, as if he would lead me to the parlor.

238instantly the blood rushed to my face, for since the night of my disgrace i had not touched the piano, neither did i wish to again. so i tried to excuse myself, and when he insisted, i finally said, with my eyes full of tears, “please excuse me, sir, for i can’t play. i failed before your sister, and i shall do the same before you.”

“no you won’t,” he replied, at the same time drawing my arm within his and leading me towards the door. “you have nothing to fear, miss lee, and if you acquit yourself half as creditably here as you have elsewhere, i shall be satisfied.”

a faint perception of the truth began to dawn upon me, and i looked up at him so earnestly that he stopped and smiling down upon me, said, “you have taught a district school in new england, i believe?”

“yes, sir,” i answered.

“and you were examined, of course?”

“yes, sir, and got a certificate, too,” i said eagerly.

“i presume you did,” he continued, “and if necessary i can give you another, for i have been doing nothing more or less than trying to find out how much you know. as i have before hinted, i am perfectly satisfied, and unless you leave from choice, you will remain at cedar grove.”

he spoke as one having full authority to do as he pleased, and i instinctively felt that though nominally mrs. lansing was mistress there, he, in reality, was the leader, the head, whose bidding every one obeyed. the change from utter despondency to almost perfect happiness, was too great, and withdrawing my hand from his arm, i sat down upon the stairs and cried like a child, while he stood, looking down upon me and thinking, i dare say, that i was a very foolish girl. at last, when i thought his patience was nearly exhausted, i wiped my eyes, and starting up, said, “you have made me very happy, mr. delafield, for i could not have 239borne the disgrace as being sent home as incompetent. i can play for you now, or for mrs. lansing either.”

and the result proved that i was right, for i exceeded my own expectations, and was astonished at myself.

“angeline,” said he, in a slightly commanding voice, as that lady looked curiously in at the door, “angeline, come here;” and she crossed over to his side, where he detained her by placing his arm around her waist.

for a moment then i wavered, for though i could not see, i could feel the haughty gaze of the large black eyes, which i knew were bent upon me.

“you have done well, miss lee,” he said, when at last i arose from the instrument, at the same time playfully touching my cheeks, which were burning with feverish excitement.

that night, after i had retired to my room, halbert and jessie came to the door, requesting permission to come in. i admitted them, when jessie, jumping into my lap, said, “oh, i’m so glad you are going to stay. hal says so.”

“yes,” put in hal, “uncle dick told me that you mustn’t be sent away, for you were a heap better scholar than she had represented you to be.”

“perhaps it will not be as mr. delafield says,” i remarked; and hal quickly rejoined, “yes it will; ma does just what he tells her to do; and then, too, he pays the governess, for i heard him say so, and he told her if you were dismissed ’twas the last one he’d hire. and he said she must treat you better than she did miss rawson, for you were very young, and little things hurt your feelings, and when ada came home, she mustn’t domineer over you, for he wouldn’t allow it. oh, i like uncle dick. don’t you?”

the moonlight was streaming across the floor, but it did not reveal the blush which deepened on my cheek as i 240faintly answered “yes,” bidding him at the same time not to tell of it, for i began to feel afraid of the boy’s loquacity. that night i dreamed of “uncle dick,” whose name was the last which sounded in my ears when i fell asleep, and the first of which i thought when i awoke in the morning. as i was dressing, i heard little jessie on the piazza, singing in her childish way, “i love uncle dick, i do, and so does hal, and so does mis-ses lee!”

“who told you that, pussy?” asked a voice which i recognized as mr. delafield’s, and very nervously i listened for jessie’s answer, which was, “oh, i know she does. hal asked her didn’t she like you, and she said she did.”

“rather early to avow a preference, i think. i shouldn’t wonder if a miss rawson performance were to be enacted a second time,” said another voice, which i knew to be that of mrs. lansing, who had joined her brother upon the piazza.

“angeline,” said mr. delafield, somewhat sternly, “don’t be foolish. if halbert asked miss lee if she liked me, wasn’t it the most natural thing in the world for her to say ‘yes.’ i do wish you’d rid yourself of the impression that every girl who looks at me is in love with me, or that i am in love with every lady to whom i choose to be polite.”

“do you think miss lee pretty?” asked mrs. lansing, without paying any attention to his last remark.

up to this point i could not well help overhearing their conversation, for i was arranging my hair before the mirror which stood near the window; but now there was no longer any necessity for my remaining there, and i resolutely walked away, though i would have given much to have heard his answer. he had gone home when i went down to the breakfast-room, where i found mrs. lansing, who greeted me rather coldly, and appeared slightly embarrassed. 241i had purposely donned my travelling dress, for though mr. delafield had said i was to stay, i felt that she too must do the same ere i had a right to remain. the sight of my dress seemed to annoy her, for it brought to her cheeks two bright red spots which grew deeper all the while we were at breakfast. when it was over, and the children had gone out, i very composedly asked her “how long before the stage would call for me.”

turning her flashing black eyes upon me, she said, “do you mean to insult me, miss lee? the stage has been gone an hour. i supposed you knew you were to remain.”

“mr. delafield intimated as much,” i answered; “but my engagement was with you, not him, and until i hear from you that i am expected to stay, i do not of course feel at liberty to do so.”

she brightened up perceptibly, and after saying something about richard’s meddling in her affairs, replied, “i presume you were embarrassed when you first came, and so could not appear to advantage; and as my brother thinks you are a tolerably fair scholar, i have decided to keep you.”

i bowed in acquiescence, and she continued. “there is something, however, which i must first say to you; but as this is not the proper place, you will go with me to my room.”

i complied with her request, and closing the door, she began with a long preamble as to the proper way for a young lady to conduct herself in the presence of gentlemen, especially those who were every way her superiors. “for instance,” said she, “there’s my brother richard, who is rather noted for his familiar, affectionate manner towards the ladies. as long as he confines himself to his equals i do not so much mind it, but when he lavishes his attentions upon my governesses, i think it wrong, for he might, you 242know, raise hopes which of course could never be realized now, miss rawson was a very silly girl who thought herself beautiful, and ere i was aware of it she was deeply in love with richard. of course, he cared nothing for her, even if he did play with and caress her. it is his way, and he means nothing by it. then, too, miss rawson was rather handsome, and richard has always been a passionate admirer of beauty. he used to say, when he was younger, that he never could love a woman who was not beautiful, and i’ve sometimes thought that the sight of a pretty face completely upset him. for this reason i prefer having a plain-looking governess. miss rawson was far too pretty, and after my trouble with her i determined to employ none but ugly ones. this is why i wrote to you concerning your personal appearance, which is, i am sorry to say, so much more prepossessing than i had reason to suppose. still i do not apprehend any difficulty, provided you are always reserved and distant in richard’s presence, and decline any attentions he may occasionally offer you. miss montrose, of whom you have heard us speak, will probably be home this summer, and then his time will be occupied with her. i do not think he will ever marry any one, but if he does, it will undoubtedly be ada. i won’t detain you longer,” she added, as she saw me try to suppress a yawn; “i won’t detain you any longer than to warn you once more against being as silly as miss rawson was—the foolish thing—only think of it, my governess in love with my brother, and he a delafield!”

it was very absurd, i thought; and mentally resolving not to fall into a like error, i repaired to the schoolroom, where in due time i was joined by the children, little jessie bringing me a beautiful bouquet, which she said “uncle dick had arranged for me.”

243feeling anxious to please mrs. lansing, my first impulse was to send the flowers back, but upon second thoughts, i concluded that this would not come under the head of “attentions,” and so all the morning they stood in the tiny vase, which halbert brought to hold them, all except one rose-bud which jessie selected from the group, and twined among my curls. this at the dinner-table attracted the watchful eye of my employer, who, without any apparent motive, casually remarked upon its beauty, saying, “it looked like a species of rose which grew in her brother’s garden,” and adding that “she did not know as there were any of that kind on her grounds.”

i blushed crimson, while jessie answered, “it didn’t grow here. uncle dick brought it to her with a heap more.”

casting upon me a frowning glance, mrs. lansing said, “seems to me you have forgotten the conditions on which i kept you.”

this was the first i had heard of conditions; but so anxious was i to retain my situation, that i resolved to please her at all hazards, and stammering out that “jessie put it in my hair,” i tore it from among my curls and threw it upon the floor. then, as soon as dinner was over, i went up to the schoolroom, and removing the bouquet from the vase, threw that too, from the window. very wonderingly, little jessie looked up in my face, asking “why i did it,” and if “i didn’t love flowers.”

“very, very much,” i answered; “but your mother don’t want me to keep them.”

that afternoon he came to visit us “officially,” he said, and when i saw his winning manner, and how much of sunshine he brought with him, i did not wonder that one as susceptible as miss rawson was represented to be, should 244have fallen in love with him. but with me it was different. i had been warned against his pleasant, affectionate ways; and so, when in conversing with me and lina, he threw his arm around her waist and laid his hand carelessly upon my shoulder, i moved quickly away, while i was sensible of a deepening flush upon my face. he seemed puzzled, and for an instant looked inquiringly at me, as if to ask a reason for my conduct. he was showing lina a book of engravings, and after a while called me to look at a picture which he thought was particularly fine. i complied with his request, and wishing to see more, took a seat at his side, when either purposely, or from force of habit, he threw his arm across the back of my chair. the action reminded me of dr. clayton, and i was feeling somewhat annoyed, when looking up, i met the haughty eyes of mrs. lansing, who was passing the door, and had stopped to look in. this of course embarrassed me, and hardly knowing what i did, i said rather angrily, “you will oblige me, mr. delafield, by taking your arm from my chair. it does not look well.”

“certainly,” said he, instantly removing it; “i was not before aware that it was there,” and a very peculiar smile was perceptible about his mouth, as he, too, caught sight of his sister, who, with an approving nod for me, passed on.

i could have cried with vexation, for i feared he would think me very prudish, and i knew well enough that his familiarity was only the promptings of an unusually kind and affectionate nature. after staying a few moments longer, he arose to go, saying as he turned towards me, “jessie gave you my flowers, i suppose.”

“yes sir,” i replied, while my face again grew scarlet. “they were beautiful, and i thank you very much.”

“i am glad to hear it,” he continued, looking me steadily in my eyes. “i thought perhaps, you did not like them 245when i found them on the walk, withered and dried by the sun.”

i was trying to think what to say by way of apology for thus treating his gift, when little jessie came to my relief, by saying, “she didn’t like to throw ’em away, but ma didn’t want her to keep ’em.”

“ah, yes. i understand it now,” said he, adding in an undertone, as he shook my hand, in accordance with the southern custom of bidding good-bye: “i hope, miss lee, you will exercise your own judgment in such trivial matters as that.”

that night i cried myself to sleep, half wishing i had never come to cedar grove, for i knew mrs. lansing would prove an exacting, unreasonable mistress; and when ada came home, my situation, i thought, would be anything but agreeable; while, worse than all the rest, was the fear that i had displeased mr. delafield, and appeared very ridiculous in his eyes. supposing he had put his arm on my chair, was that any reason why i should get angry and speak to him as i did? it was his way, and as he had said, he was not himself aware of what he was doing. of course, then, he would think me very foolish, and would ever after treat me with coolness and indifference. how then was i surprised, when the next morning, in the presence of his sister, he handed me a much larger and handsomer bouquet than the one of the preceding day, saying, as he did so, “i want you to keep this and not throw it away, as you did my other one.”

mrs. lansing’s face, which had been unusually placid and serene, now looked cloudy and disturbed; but she said nothing; neither did she ever again make any allusion to the flowers which so frequently came to me from sunny bank. one reason for this might have been that she was 246otherwise perfectly satisfied with the conduct of her brother, which, by the way, was not wholly satisfactory to me! it is true, he was very polite, very kind; but there was about him a reserve which i could not understand, for after that little affair in the schoolroom, he never treated me with the same familiarity which marked his deportment towards the other young ladies, who came to the house. he did not like me, i said, and the thought that i was disagreeable to him made me very unhappy. to be sure, he was almost constantly at cedar grove, where he spent most of the time in the schoolroom, “superintending us,” he told his sister, who, believing me rather inefficient, made no objection to his supposed supervision of lina’s studies. he did not often talk much to me, but i frequently met the earnest gaze of his piercing dark eyes, particularly when little jessie sat in my lap, listening to my instructions; and once when herbert asked him for “a copy,”—something beginning with “r,” he wrote “rosa lee, meadow brook, massachusetts.” still he disliked me—i was sure of that; and though i did not then know why it was, the impression that i was to him an object of aversion made me unhappy, and almost every day i cried, while mrs. lansing more than once told me that “she did not believe the south agreed with me, for i was not half so plump and rosy as when i first came.”

about this time, too, a miss dean, from the village, who had evinced quite a liking for me, told me, confidentially, that mr. delafield and ada were certainly engaged; adding, that “it was sometimes sickening to see them together”—a fact i could not doubt, knowing him as i did, and remembering ada’s demeanor towards herbert when they were engaged. from the same source, too, i learned that mr. montrose and the elder mr. delafield had been warm friends; and that the latter, who died when both mrs. 247lansing and richard were quite young, had committed them to the care of mr. montrose, who was to them the kindest of fathers until the time of his death, which occurred a few years after mrs. lansing’s marriage, when richard was just of age. to his guardianship, therefore, as to that of a brother, had mr. montrose left his daughter, then a beautiful girl of seventeen; and since that time she had lived with mrs. lansing, who, though she appeared to love the young orphan, still opposed her marriage with her brother; not from any aversion to ada, but because she did not wish richard to marry at all, as in case he did not, his property would, in all probability, fall to her children, she being the only heir. when i asked her why mr. delafield was worth so much more than mrs. lansing, she replied, that the elder mr. delafield, in his will, had left two-thirds of his property to his son, bequeathing the other third to his daughter, whose husband had wasted nearly the whole in his extravagant manner of living. cedar grove, too, she said, was mortgaged to richard for more than it was worth, and it was wholly owing to his forbearance and extreme generosity that mrs. lansing was enabled to support her present style of living. this, she said, aside from mrs. lansing’s hope that her children would one day inherit her brother’s wealth, was a sufficient reason why she wished him to remain a bachelor, as the presence of a wife at sunny bank would, in all probability, lessen his liberality towards herself. miss dean, who seemed to be well posted, also told me that, in case mrs. lansing saw her brother was determined to marry, she would, of course, prefer that he should marry ada, who was quite a favorite, inasmuch as she had money of her own, and was connected with one of the first families in south carolina.

all this i believed, and when i saw how anxious mrs. 248lansing appeared for ada’s return, and how much interest mr. delafield, too, seemed to take in her, i felt sure that matters were at last amicably arranged, and that, for once, rumor was right in saying that sunny bank would, in the autumn, be graced by the presence of a mistress. latterly, mr. delafield had been making some repairs, and only a few days before, when i chanced to be there with jessie, he had taken me through his library into a little, pleasant, airy room, which he was fitting up with great elegance.

“this,” said he, laughingly, “i design as the boudoir of mrs. delafield, when i shall be fortunate enough to boast such an appendage to my household; and as a woman’s taste is supposed to be superior to that of men, i want your opinion. how do you like it? do you think it would suit my wife, if i had one?”

of course he meant ada, and in fancy i saw her reclining upon the luxurious lounges, or gazing out upon the vine-wreathed piazza, and wealth of flowers, which greeted my view when i looked from the large bay window. for an instant i dared not trust my voice to speak, and when at last i did so, i am sure it must have trembled, for he came to my side and looked me earnestly in the face, while he smiled at my answer.

“it ought to suit her, unless her home heretofore has been paradise.”

after that i had not the least doubt of his engagement with ada, and i began seriously to think of going back to meadow brook to take charge of a select school, which was about to be opened there. i had now been in georgia about four months, and one night i went down to the pleasant summer-house at the foot of the garden. it was a beautiful moonlight night and the air was almost oppressive with the sweet fragrance of the flowers. why i went there i hardly 249know, only i fancied i could better make up my mind as to my future course, if i were alone and in the open air. “nobody likes me here,” i said to myself, as i took a seat within the arbor, “nobody but halbert and jessie. mrs. lansing is freaky and cross. lina, selfish and indifferent, while mr. delafield thinks only of ada’s return, which i so much dread, and to be rid of meeting her, i will go home before she comes.” so i decided that on the morrow, i would make known my determination to mrs. lansing, who i fancied would be glad, while mr. delafield would not be affected either way. i was nothing to him—he was nothing to me—so i reasoned, and then i made plans for the future, just as other maidens of eighteen have done, when their heart was aching with a heavy pain, whose cause they did not understand. i should never marry—that was a settled point—i should teach school all my days, and by the time i was twenty-five (it seemed a great way off then) i should have a school of my own, “lee seminary” i would call it, and i had just completed the arrangement of the grounds, which somehow bore a strong resemblance to those of sunny bank, when i was roused from my reverie by the sound of a footstep, and in a moment mr. delafield stood at the entrance of the summer-house. he evidently did not expect to find me there, for he started back at first, and then, hoping he did not intrude, came to my side, saying, “a penny for your thoughts, miss lee, provided they are not as gloomy as your face would indicate.”

“you can have them for nothing,” i returned, elevating my eyebrows, and drawing down the corners of my mouth as if i felt that in some way he had injured me.

“you are blue to-night, and have been so for several days. what is the matter?” he asked, at the same time throwing his arms around my waist with his olden familiarity.

250quickly remembering himself, however, he withdrew it, saying as he did so, “i beg your pardon, miss lee. i am so in the habit of taking such liberties, that i forgot myself!” and he moved off a little distance. i could have cried with vexation, for though it might have been improper, i was perfectly willing to sit there with his arm around me! it might have dispelled all idea of the “lee seminary” of which i was to be principal! but he gave me no such opportunity, and folding his arms as if to keep them in their place, he continued, “but tell me, miss lee, what is the matter. you do not seem yourself?”

it was perfectly proper for me to tell him, i thought, and very deliberately i unfolded to him my plan of returning home within a week of mrs. lansing were willing, which i was sure she would be, as she had never been quite satisfied with my acquirements. when i had finished speaking, i turned towards him, not to see what effect my words had produced, for i had not the most remote idea that he would care. great then was my surprise, when i saw the blank expression of his face, which looked darker than ever. starting up, he walked two or three times rapidly across the little arbor, and then resuming his seat, said gently, “have you been unhappy here, miss lee?”

i could hardly repress my tears as i told him how much i liked the south land, and how i should hate to leave it.

“why then do you do so?” he asked; and i answered “i can do more good at home; nobody likes me here.”

he came nearer to my side, as he said, “nobody likes you! oh, rose, there is one at least who more than likes”——

it was the first time he had ever called me rose, and it thrilled me with an indefinable emotion; but so impressed was i with the idea of his engagement with ada, that i 251never dreamed of interpreting his words, as i now think he meant i should; and ere he could say more, i interrupted him with, “yes—little jessie loves me, i know, and when i think of her, i would fain stay.”

still nearer to me he came, as he said, “and think you jessie is the only one who loves you?”

if ever mrs. lansing’s belief that i was non compos mentis was verified, it was then; for with the utmost stupidity i answered, “why, no; halbert likes me, but both he and jessie will forget me when i am gone, and learn to love another.”

i think he was quite disgusted; for with a slight gesture of impatience he changed his manner and in a very businesslike way began to reason the case with me, urging a great many reasons why i should not leave; the most potent one with me, being the fact that he wanted me to stay—“he would miss me very much,” he said, “for he liked my society—it was a pleasure to talk with me, for he was sure i meant what i said; i was natural—truthful—so different from most of the young ladies (of course he excepted ada), and then, too, it seemed as if he had known me always, or at least, had met me before, for my voice was familiar.”

i could not tell him of our meeting in boston, but i saw no harm in reminding him of the night, when for a few hours i was his travelling-companion, and so to his last remark, i answered, “we have met before, in the cars between utica and albany.”

in some surprise he looked earnestly at me a moment, and then said, “is it possible? why have you never mentioned it before?”

“because, sir,” i replied, “i did not suppose you would remember me.”

he appeared thoughtful for a time, and then again, looking 252closely at me, said, “i did not, i believe, get a glimpse of your features then, and still it seems as if i had seen them before—or something like them. at all events, i sometimes dream of a childish face, which must resemble you as you were a few years ago.”

once i half determined to remind him of the little girl who fainted at the theatre; but ere i did so, he continued, “when i met you in the cars, if i mistake not, you spoke of miss montrose. did you ever see her? but of course not,” he added, ere i had time to reply. i cannot tell why i shrank from acknowledging my slight acquaintance with ada, but i did, and for a moment i said nothing; then thinking it would be wrong to give him a false impression, i said, “i can hardly say that i am acquainted with miss montrose; but i have met her several times at my uncle’s in boston, where i spent the winter, four years ago.”

again he bent forward as if to scan my face, while he replied, “indeed! were you in boston then? it is strange ada never spoke of you, or you of her before. was there a misunderstanding between you?”

“oh, no,” i answered quickly; “she was a fashionable young lady, and i a mere school-girl; so, of course, we knew but little of each other.”

“what was your uncle’s name?” he inquired; and i answered “lee,” noticing the while, how the shadow which had settled upon his face at the mention of boston, passed gradually away.

for a moment he was silent, and then rather abruptly, he asked, “did you like her?”

i remembered the time when dr. clayton had asked me a similar question concerning dell thompson, and now, as then, i answered evasively, that “i hardly knew her—she was very beautiful and accomplished.”

253here he interrupted me by saying, “i did not ask if you thought her beautiful. i asked if you liked her.”

i felt a little annoyed, for i thought he had no right thus to question me, and forgetting that she was to be his wife, i replied, “no sir, i did not like her. neither do i think she liked me, or my sister who was with me; and this is one reason why i wish to leave before her return.”

i supposed he would be offended at hearing me speak thus of her, but he was not; he merely smiled as he answered, “ada has many faults, i know, but i do not believe your situation will be less pleasant on account of her presence. if it is, just state the case to me. i am competent to manage it, i believe; besides that, it is uncertain how long she will remain at cedar grove.”

he commenced plucking at the green vine-leaves which grew above my head, while i turned my face away to hide my emotions; for of course, when ada left cedar grove, it would be as his bride, i thought, and was surprised when he continued, “the cousin with whom she is travelling in europe, has won from her a half promise that she will spend next winter with her in new orleans, and if so she will leave in october; so you see, she can’t annoy you long; and now you must promise me not to leave us unless she prove perfectly disagreeable.”

there is not, i believe, the least coquetry in my nature, and i replied frankly that i would stay.

“you have made me very happy, miss lee,” said he, rising up and laying his hand upon my head, just as a father might caress his child, for he was thirty-one and i was eighteen!

that night i pondered long upon what he had said, recalling every word and look, and at last, when a ray of light faintly glimmered upon my befogged intellect, i hid my 254face in the pillow, lest the moonlight, which shone around me, should read thereon the secret thought which i scarcely dared to harbor for a moment. could it be possible that he loved me, and but that for my unaccountably stupid blunder in thrusting first jessie and then halbert in his face, he would have told me so! but no—it was impossible. he was probably engaged to ada. she was beautiful and rich—i was homely and poor. it could not be. and then, my reader, did i first awake to the consciousness of how much i loved him; and how, when he was wedded to another, the world would be to me naught but a dreary blank. anon, i remembered my former affection for dr. clayton, and then i grew calm. i had outgrown that, i said, and in all probability i should outlive this, my second heart-trouble. so, falling back upon the “lee seminary” as something which was to comfort me in my lone pilgrimage, i fell asleep and dreamed that mr. delafield’s children, amounting in all to a dozen, were every one placed under my special charge!

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