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CHAPTER IX A SECRET

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'if the sun could tell us half

that he hears and sees,

sometimes he would make us laugh,

sometimes make us cry.'

christina rossetti.

'you must eat your breakfast properly, celestina, my dear,' said mrs. fairchild to her little daughter one morning in the following week. 'you will be quite faint and tired before dinner-time if you don't, and that would be a bad beginning.'

celestina on this set to work once more on her bread and milk. she was too excited to feel hungry; her pale cheeks had each a bright spot of colour and her eyes were shining. it was the day on which she was to begin her lessons at the rectory. miss neale was to call for her on her way there, and though she had three-quarters of an hour to wait till miss neale [135]came, the little girl was sure she would not be ready in time.

'i never saw her so taken up with anything before,' said her mother; and mr. fairchild, who was sometimes disposed to take rather a gloomy view of things, said he hoped they should not regret having agreed to the arrangement, and that it would not lead to disappointment, on which mrs. fairchild set to work, as she always did, to cheer him up.

'it will give celestina a little experience,' she said; 'and even if there should be a little disappointment mixed up with it in any way, it will do her no harm, and celestina is a reasonable child.'

she was very quiet but very happy as she set off with miss neale. it was a bright pleasant morning, 'quite spring-like,' said the young governess, and a walk at that early hour was of itself a pleasure to celestina. she had not been inside the rectory since the vane family had replaced old dr. bunton and his wife, and scarcely was the door open when the little girl noticed a difference. the old, heavy, stuffy furniture was gone, and though it was still plain, the house looked lighter and brighter. the schoolroom was a nice little room looking towards the sea; there was a good strong table with a black [136]oil-cloth cover and four hair-seated chairs, such as were much used at that time. but there were two or three pretty pictures on the walls, and a cottage piano, and in the bookcase were a few bright-coloured tempting volumes as well as the graver-looking school-books. everything was very neat, and there was a bright fire burning, and in a pot on the window-sill a geranium was growing and evidently flourishing. to celestina it was a perfect picture of a schoolroom, and she looked round with the greatest interest as she took off her hat and jacket, according to miss neale's directions, and hung them on a peg on the door.

'you must be very neat here, you know, my dear,' she said; to which celestina meekly replied, 'oh yes,' quite agreeing with miss neale.

in a moment or two the door burst open and in came biddy. a very pleasant-looking biddy, with a spotlessly clean apron, tidy hair, and smiling face, and just behind her appeared her mother.

'good-morning, miss neale,' said mrs. vane. 'here is bridget, whom, you have not seen before. good-morning, celestina. i hope you will be two very happy and good little girls, and that miss neale will have no trouble with you.'[137]

then she went on to explain a little about the books biddy used, saying that rosalys would look out any that might possibly be missing, and after telling miss neale to keep up a good fire and one or two other small directions of the kind, she left the schoolroom.

everything went on most smoothly. miss neale could hardly believe that bridget was the child she had been warned that she would find 'tiresome and trying and requiring great patience.' for, for once biddy really did her best. she was interested in finding out how much celestina knew 'compared with me,' and anxious that neither her little friend nor her new teacher should think her stupid or backward. and though celestina's habits of steady attention had made her memory better and her knowledge more thorough than biddy's, still miss neale could hardly feel that either of her pupils was more satisfactory than the other; both were so obedient and attentive and intelligent.

so the morning passed delightfully.

'and won't it be nice?' said biddy, as she stood at the gate, whither she had accompanied miss neale and celestina on their way home; 'the day after to-morrow miss neale will come back to take us [138]a walk in the afternoon, and you may come too, mamma says, and stay to tea if your mamma will let you.'

how celestina's eyes sparkled! to be invited to tea at the rectory seemed to her far more enchanting than if she had received an invitation from the queen of the fairies to be present at one of her grandest festivals. she was so delighted that she forgot to speak, and miss neale had to answer for her, and say that she would not forget to ask mrs. fairchild's consent.

'and some day, celestina,' biddy went on, 'i want you to ask your mamma to ask me to tea, for i want to see your dolls.'

celestina looked rather grave.

'i'll ask mother,' she said, but there was a little hesitation in her manner. this did not come from any false shame—celestina did not know what false shame was—but from very serious doubts as to what her father and mother would think of it. she had never had any friend to tea in her life; father was always tired in the evening, and she was far from sure that a chattering child like biddy would not annoy him and make his head ache. so poor celestina was rather silent and grave on the way [139]home; biddy's thoughtless proposal had taken the edge off her happiness.

on her way back to the house bridget met rosalys.

'well,' said alie, 'and how did you get on, biddy? how do you like your new governess?'

'ever so much better than miss millet,' biddy replied. her superhuman exertions had somewhat tired her; she felt rather cross now, and half inclined to quarrel. she knew that alie was particularly fond of miss millet, and she glanced at her curiously as she made her speech. but alie was a wise little woman.

'i'm so glad,' she said. 'so glad you like miss neale, i mean. of course i knew you'd like celestina.'

'i don't like her so very much as all that,' said biddy contradictorily. 'i like her well enough to do lessons with, but she's not very nice about my going there to tea.'

'going there to tea,' alie repeated. 'what do you mean, biddy?'

'mean what i say. she's coming here to tea two times every week if it's fine, so i think they might 'avite me sometimes, and when i said to her [140]just now i'd like to come, she looked quite funny and only said she'd ask her mother. not a bit as if she'd like it.'

rosalys felt very vexed.

'really, biddy, you might know how to behave,' she said. 'people don't offer themselves to other people like that.'

'they do,' bride retorted. 'i've heard papa say he was going to "offer himself to luncheon" to aunt mary's, and——'

'she's a relation,' alie interrupted.

'well, and once mamma offered herself to tea to old lady butler—i know she did—just before we went away at christmas.'

'that's quite different; she knows old lady butler so well—and—and—mamma's grown up and knows what's right, and you're a little girl, and you shouldn't do things like that without asking leave,' said rosalys decidedly.

'you're a cross unkind thing,' said biddy; 'and if you speak like that i'll not go on being good any more.'

then she turned away from her sister and ran down a side-path of the garden, leaving rosalys looking after her in distress, and half inclined to blame [141]herself for having spoken sharply to biddy. 'it will vex mamma so if this new plan doesn't do,' she thought regretfully. 'but perhaps biddy will be good again when she comes in.'

the path down which the little girl had run led to a low wall from which you overlooked the sea. the tide was in, and though at some little distance from the rectory, biddy could clearly see the water shining in the morning sunshine, which was yellower and richer in colour now, for the season was getting on; the cold thin wintry look was giving place in this sheltered spot to the warmer feeling of spring. the little waves came lapping in softly; by listening intently and fancying a little, biddy could almost hear the delicate sound they made as they kissed the shore.

'i wish it was warm enough to bathe,' thought biddy. 'but if it was they'd be sure to say i mustn't, or that i was naughty or something,' and in her anger at the imaginary cruelty of 'they,' she kicked the little stones of the gravel at her feet as if it was their fault! but the little stones were too meek to complain, and biddy got tired of kicking them, and seating herself astride on the wall, sat staring out at the sea. somehow it reminded her of [142]her good resolutions, though it was a quite different-looking sea from the evening tide, with the red sun sinking below the horizon, like that first time on the shore.

what a pity it was that she had spoilt the fresh beginning of being so nice and good at her new lessons by being cross to alie! and in her heart biddy knew that her sister had not blamed her without reason—it was her old fault of heedlessness; she was quite old enough to understand that she should not have asked celestina to invite her, and she knew too that celestina had been right in answering as she did. but all these 'knowings in her heart' did not make biddy feel more amiable.

'it's no good trying,' she said to herself as she got slowly down off the wall—bridget was always deliberate in her movements—'i'll just not bother. i'll do my lessons, 'cos i don't want them to say i'm stupid, but i'm not going to try not to be cross and all that. i'm tired of trying.'

mrs. vane noticed at luncheon that biddy was quiet and silent and not particularly amiable looking, but alie whispered that it had nothing to do with lessons, which had gone off well.

'don't notice her, mamma; it was only that she [143]was vexed with me for something,' alie added; so nothing was said to biddy, and she was allowed to nurse her grievances in silence.

she cheered up a little by tea-time, and told randolph triumphantly that she had done all her lessons for miss neale 'by myself, without asking that nasty cross alie or nobody to help me.' but she remained very surly to her sister, though alie tried to prevent her father and mother noticing it.

next day was rainy and blowy. miss neale and celestina arrived smothered up in waterproofs and goloshes, and there was quite a bustle to get them unpacked from their wrappings and warmed at the schoolroom fire. biddy made herself very important, and forgot for the time about being vexed with rosalys.

lessons went off well, thanks to bridget's putting a good deal of control on herself, though there were moments that morning which made the young governess say to herself that she could understand its being sometimes true that biddy was tiresome and trying. when celestina was putting on her hat and jacket to go she gave biddy a little touch on the arm.

'i asked mother,' she whispered, 'about what you [144]said, and mother says perhaps some day you would come early in the afternoon, and we could play with the dolls and have tea for ourselves out of mother's toy cups that she had when she was a little girl. they are so pretty. it wouldn't be quite a real tea, for we don't have real tea till past five, but i'm sure mother would get us some little cakes, and we might make it a sort of a feast.'

biddy's eyes sparkled.

'oh, that would be nice,' she exclaimed. 'yes, please, tell your mother i'd like to come very much. and just fancy, celestina, that horrid alie said it was very rude of me to have asked you to ask me. i'm sure it wasn't, now, was it?'

celestina grew red and hesitated.

'i'm sure you didn't mean to be rude, miss biddy,' she said. 'mother said——' but here she stopped.

'what did she say?' demanded biddy.

'i didn't mean to say that she said anything,' poor celestina answered, 'only when you asked me——'

'what did she say?' biddy repeated, stamping her foot.

'she didn't say you were rude; she said you were [145]only a child,' celestina answered quietly. biddy's temper somehow calmed her. 'and i think so too,' she added.

'then, i think you're very, very unkind, and i'll never come to your house at all,' said biddy.

and thus ended the second morning.

bridget was a queer child. by the next day she seemed to have forgotten all about it. she was just as usual with rosalys, and met celestina quite graciously. but it was not that she was ashamed of her temper or anxious to make amends for it. it was there still quite ready to break out again. but she was lazy, and very often she seemed to give in when it was really that keeping up any quarrel was too much trouble to her. i think, however, that celestina's perfect gentleness did make her a little ashamed.

lessons were on the whole satisfactory. celestina worked so steadily that she would soon have left biddy behind had biddy been as idle as had often been the case under miss millet. and mrs. vane was pleased to think that the plan had turned out so well.

one day, about a week after miss neale had begun to teach the children, just as they were finishing lessons, rosalys made her appearance in [146]the schoolroom. it was one of the days on which miss neale and celestina came back in the afternoon to take the girls a walk and to stay to tea afterwards. rosalys looked pleased and eager.

'celestina,' she said, 'mamma has a little message for you. please come into the drawing-room before you go home this morning.'

up started biddy.

'what is it, alie? do tell me. mayn't i come into the drawing-room with celestina?'

alie shook her head, though smilingly.

'no,' she said; 'it's something quite private for celestina.'

'i'll come,' said the little girl, but bridget's face darkened.

'it's not fair,' she muttered, as celestina, after carefully putting her books away, left the room.

'come now, my dear,' said miss neale, not very wisely, perhaps—she scarcely knew biddy as yet—'you shouldn't be jealous. it's a very little thing for celestina to have a message to do for your mamma. some other time there will be one for you to do, i have no doubt.'

biddy wriggled impatiently.

'they've no business not to tell me,' she said, [147]taking not the least notice of miss neale's words. then she banged down her books and ran out of the room without saying good-morning to her governess.

miss neale did not see anything more of her till she and celestina returned that afternoon. it was a lovely day, and so as not to lose any of the pleasant brightness of the afternoon, mrs. vane had made the girls get ready early and go a little way down the sandy lane to meet the two coming from seacove. bridget was gloomy, but alie was particularly cheerful, and after a while the younger sister's gloom gave way before the sunshine and the fresh air and alie's sweetness.

'there they are,' she exclaimed, as two figures came in sight; 'shall we run, biddy?' and almost without waiting for a reply off she set, bridget following more slowly.

when she got up to them celestina and alie were talking together eagerly. they stopped short as biddy ran up, but she heard celestina's last words, 'mother says she'll be sure to get it by to-morrow or the day after.'

'what are you talking about?' asked bridget.

celestina grew red but did not speak. rosalys turned frankly to her sister—[148]

'it's a message of mamma's we can't tell you about,' she said, 'but you'll know some time.'

alas, the brightness of the afternoon was over, as far as biddy was concerned. she turned away scowling.

'why should you know if i don't?' she said; 'and what business has celestina to know—she's as little as me nearly?'

'oh, biddy,' said alie reproachfully.

but that was all. she knew that argument or persuasion was lost on her sister once she was started on her hobby-horse, ill-temper. she could only hope that she would forget about it by degrees. and after a while it almost seemed so. they went down to the shore, where it was so bright and pleasant that it did not seem possible for the crossest person in the world to resist the soft yet fresh breeze, the sunshine glancing on the sands, the sparkling water in the distance. and miss neale was full of such good ideas. she taught them a new play of trying to walk blindfold, or at least with their eyes shut, in a straight line, which sounds very easy, does it not? but is, i assure you, very difficult; then they had a capital game of puss-in-the-corner, though the corners of course were only marks in the sand; and [149]with all this it was time to go home to tea almost before they knew where they were.

'how pretty it must be up in the lighthouse to-day,' said celestina as they were turning away.

this was the signal for bridget's quarrelsomeness again.

'miss neale,' she said, shading her eyes from the sun, as she gazed out towards the sea, 'celestina does talk such nonsense. she says you can't walk over the sands to the lighthouse. now can't you? i can see sand all the way.'

miss neale was anxious not to contradict biddy just as she seemed to be coming round again, and she was really not quite sure on the point.

'i can't say, my dear,' she replied. 'it does look as if you could—but still——'

'there now,' said biddy to celestina contemptuously, 'miss neale's bigger than you, and she thinks you can; don't you, miss neale?'

'yes, yes, my dear,' miss neale, who was on some little way in front with alie, replied hastily; 'but come on—what does it matter?'

but biddy's tone had roused celestina, gentle as she was.

'i know you can't,' she said, 'and whether a big or [150]a little person says you can, i just know you can't,' and she turned from biddy and walked on fast to join the others. seeing her coming, rosalys called to her.

'celestina, i want to ask you something,' and in a moment the two were talking together busily.

'it's only the secret, biddy,' said alie laughingly; she did not know of biddy's new ill-humour. 'you mustn't mind.'

down came the black curtain thicker and thicker over bridget's rosy face; firmly she settled herself on her unmanageable steed.

'i don't care,' she said to herself as she trudged along in silence beside miss neale; 'they're horrid to me—horrid. and i'll be as horrid as i can be to them. but i'll let that nasty celestina see i'm right and she's wrong. i will.'[151]

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