“cecil,” asked thomas godolphin, as they walked along, “how came you to go alone to ashlydyat, in this unceremonious manner?”
“there was no harm in it,” answered cecil, who possessed a spice of self-will. “mrs. verrall said she was lonely, and it would be a charity if i or bessy would go home with her. bessy could not: she was engaged at the rectory. where was the harm?”
“my dear, had there been ‘harm,’ i am sure you would not have wished to go. there was none. only, i do not care that you should become very intimate with the verralls. a little visiting on either side cannot be avoided: but let it end there.”
“thomas! you are just like janet!” impulsively spoke cecil. “she does not like the verralls.”
“neither do i. i do not like him. i do not like charlotte pain——”
“janet again!” struck in cecil. “she and you must be constituted precisely alike, for you are sure to take up the same likes and dislikes. she would not willingly let me go to-day; only she could not refuse without downright rudeness.”
“i like mrs. verrall the best of them, i was going to say,” he continued. “do not become too intimate with them, cecil.”
“but you know nothing against mr. verrall?”
“nothing whatever. except that i cannot make him out.”
“how do you mean—‘make him out?’”
“well, cecil, it may be difficult to define my meaning. verrall[74] is so impassive; so utterly silent with regard to himself. who is he? where did he come from? did he drop from the moon? where has he previously lived? what are his family? where does his property lie?—in the funds, or in land, or in securities, or what? most men, even though they do come as strangers into a neighbourhood, supply indications of some of these things, either accidentally or purposely.”
“they have lived in london,” said cecil.
“london is a wide term,” answered thomas godolphin.
“and i’m sure they have plenty of money.”
“there’s where the chief puzzle is. when people possess so much money as verrall appears to do, they generally make no secret of whence it is derived. understand, my dear, i cast no suspicion on him in any way: i only say that we know nothing of him: or of the ladies either——”
“they are very charming ladies,” interrupted cecil again. “especially mrs. verrall.”
“beyond the fact that they are very charming ladies,” acquiesced thomas in a tone that made cecil think he was laughing at her: “you should let me finish, my dear. but i would prefer that they were rather more open, as to themselves, before they became the too-intimate friends of miss cecilia godolphin.”
cecil dropped the subject. she did not always agree with what she called thomas’s prejudices. “how quaint that old doctor of ours is!” she exclaimed. “when he had looked at mrs. verrall’s arm, he made a great parade of getting out his spectacles, and putting them on, and looking again. ‘what d’ye call it—a burn?’ he asked her. ‘it is a burn, is it not?’ she answered, looking at him. ‘no,’ said he, ‘it’s nothing but a scorch.’ it made her laugh so. i think she was pleased to have escaped with so little damage.”
“that is just like snow,” said thomas godolphin.
arrived at home, miss godolphin was in the same place, knitting still. it was turned half-past nine. too late for thomas to pay his visit to lady sarah’s. “janet, i fear you have waited tea for us!” said cecil.
“to be sure, child. i expected you home to tea.”
cecil explained why they did not come, relating the accident to mrs. verrall. “eh! but it’s like the young!” said janet, lifting her hands. “careless! careless! she might have been burned to death.”
“what a loud ring!” exclaimed cecil, as the hall-bell, pealed with no gentle hand, echoed and re-echoed through the house. “if it is bessy come home, she thinks she will let us know who’s there.”
it was not bessy. a servant entered the room with a telegraphic despatch. “the man is waiting, sir,” he said, holding out the paper for signature to his master.
thomas godolphin affixed his signature, and took up the despatch. it came from scotland. janet laid her hand upon it ere it was open: her face looked ghastly pale. “a moment of preparation!” she said. “thomas, it may have brought us tidings that we have no longer a father.”
[75]“nay, janet, do not anticipate evil,” he answered, though his memory flew unaccountably to that ugly shadow, and to what he had deemed would be janet’s conclusions respecting it. “it may not be ill news at all.”
he glanced his eye rapidly and privately over it, while cecil came and stood near him with a stifled sob. then he held it out to janet, reading it aloud at the same time.
“‘lady godolphin to thomas godolphin, esquire.
“‘come at once to broomhead. sir george wishes it. take the first train.’”
“he is not dead, at any rate, janet,” said thomas quietly. “thank heaven.”
janet, her extreme fears relieved, took refuge in displeasure. “what does lady godolphin mean, by sending so vague a message as that?” she uttered. “is sir george worse? is he ill? is he in danger? or has the summons no reference at all to his state of health?”
thomas had taken it into his hand again, and was studying the words: as we are all apt to do in uncertainty. he could make no more out of them.
“lady godolphin should have been more explicit,” he resumed.
“lady godolphin has no right thus to play upon our fears, our suspense,” said janet. “thomas, i have a great mind to start this very night for scotland.”
“as you please, of course, janet. it is a long and fatiguing journey for a winter’s night.”
“and i object to being a guest at broomhead, unless driven to it, you might add,” rejoined janet. “but our father may be dying.”
“i should think not, janet. lady godolphin would certainly have said so. margery, too, would have taken care that those tidings should be sent to us.”
the suggestion reassured miss godolphin. she had not thought of it. margery, devoted to the interests of sir george and his children (somewhat in contravention to the interests of my lady), would undoubtedly have apprised them were sir george in danger. “what shall you do?” inquired janet of her brother.
“i shall do as the despatch desires me—take the first train. that will be at midnight,” he added, as he prepared to pay a visit to lady sarah’s.
grame house, as you may remember, was situated at the opposite end of the town to ashlydyat, past all souls’ church. as thomas godolphin walked briskly along, he saw mr. hastings leaning over the rectory gate, the dark trees shading him from the light of the moon.
“you are going this way late,” said the rector.
“it is late for a visit to lady sarah’s. but i wish particularly to see them.”
“i have now come from thence,” returned mr. hastings.
“sarah anne grows weaker, i hear.”
“ay. i have been praying over her.”
thomas godolphin felt shocked. “is she so near death as that?” he asked, in a hushed tone.
[76]“so near death as that!” repeated the clergyman in an accent of reproof. “i did not expect to hear a like remark from mr. godolphin. my good friend, is it only when death is near that we are to pray?”
“it is chiefly when death is near that prayers are said over us,” replied thomas godolphin.
“true—for those who have not known when and how to pray for themselves. look at that girl: passing away from amongst us, with all her worldly thoughts, her selfish habits, her evil, peevish temper! but that god’s ways are not as our ways, we might be tempted to question why such as these are removed; such as ethel left. the one child as near akin to an angel as it is well possible to be, here; the other—— in our blind judgment, we may wonder that she, most ripe for heaven, should not be taken to it, and that other one left, to be pruned and dug around; to have, in short, a chance given her of making herself better.”
“is she so very ill?”
“i think her so; as does snow. it was what he said that sent me up there. her frame of mind is not a desirable one: and i have been trying to do my part. i shall be with her again to-morrow.”
“have you any message for your daughter?” asked thomas godolphin. “i start in two hours’ time for scotland.” and then, he explained why: telling of their uncertainty.
“when shall you be coming back again?” inquired mr. hastings.
“within a week. unless my father’s state should forbid it. i may be wishing to take a holiday at christmas time, or thereabouts, so shall not stay away now. george is absent, too.”
“staying at broomhead?”
“no; he is not at broomhead now.”
“will you take charge of maria? we want her home.”
“if you wish it, i will. but i should think they would all be returning very shortly. christmas is intended to be spent here.”
“you may depend upon it, christmas will not see lady godolphin at prior’s ash, unless the fever shall have departed to spend its christmas in some other place,” cried the rector.
“well, i shall hear their plans when i get there.”
“bring back maria with you, mr. godolphin. tell her it is my wish. unless you find that there’s a prospect of her speedy return with lady godolphin. in that case, you may leave her.”
“very well,” replied thomas godolphin.
he continued his way, and mr. hastings looked after him in the bright moonlight, till his form disappeared in the shadows cast by the roadside trees.
it was striking ten as thomas godolphin opened the iron gates at lady sarah grame’s: the heavy clock-bell of all souls’ came sounding upon his ear in the stillness of the night. the house, all except from one window, looked dark: even the hall-lamp was out, and he feared they might all have retired. from that window a dull light shone behind the blind: a stationary light it had been of late, to be seen by any nocturnal wayfarer all night long; for it came from the sick-chamber.
[77]elizabeth opened the door. “oh, sir!” she exclaimed in the surprise of seeing him so late, “i think miss ethel has gone up to bed.”
lady sarah came hastening down the stairs as he stepped into the hall: she also was surprised at the late visit.
“i would not have disturbed you, but that i am about to leave for broomhead,” he explained. “a telegraphic despatch has arrived from lady godolphin, calling me thither. i should like to see ethel, if not inconvenient to her. i know not how long i may be away.”
“i sent ethel to bed: her head ached,” said lady sarah. “it is not many minutes since she went up. oh, mr. godolphin, this has been such a day of grief! heads and hearts alike aching.”
thomas godolphin entered the drawing-room, and lady sarah grame called ethel down, and then returned to her sick daughter’s room. ethel came instantly. the fire in the drawing-room was still alight, and elizabeth had been in to stir it up. thomas godolphin stood over it with ethel, telling her of his coming journey and its cause. the red embers threw a glow upon her face: her brow looked heavy, her eyes swollen.
he saw the signs, and laid his hand fondly upon her head. “what has given you this headache, ethel?”
the ready tears came into her eyes. “it does ache very much,” she answered.
“has crying caused it?”
“yes,” she replied. “it is of no use to deny it, for you would see it by my swollen eyelids. i have wept to-day until it seems that i can weep no longer, and it has made my eyes ache and my head dull and heavy.”
“but, my darling, you should not give way to this grief. it may render you seriously ill.”
“oh, thomas! how can i help it?” she returned, with emotion, as the tears dropped swiftly over her cheeks. “we begin to see that there is no chance of sarah anne’s recovery. mr. snow told mamma so to-day: and he sent up mr. hastings.”
“ethel, will your grieving alter it?”
ethel wept silently. there was full and entire confidence between her and thomas godolphin: she could speak out all her thoughts, her troubles to him, as she could have told them to a mother—if she had had a mother who loved her.
“if she were only a little more prepared to go, the pain would seem less,” breathed ethel. “that is, we might feel more reconciled to losing her. but you know what she is, thomas. when i have tried to talk a little bit about heaven, or to read a psalm to her, she would not listen: she said it made her dull, it gave her the horrors. how can she, who has never thought of god, be fit to meet him?”
ethel’s tears were deepening into sobs. thomas godolphin involuntarily thought of what mr. hastings had just said to him. his hand still rested on ethel’s head.
“you are fit to meet him?” he exclaimed involuntarily. “ethel, whence can have arisen the difference between you? you are sisters; reared in the same home.”
“i do not know,” said ethel simply. “i have always thought a[78] great deal about heaven; i suppose it is that. a lady, whom we knew as children, used to buy us a good many story-books, and mine were always stories of heaven. it was that which first got me into the habit of thinking of it.”
“and why not sarah anne?”
“sarah anne would not read them. she liked stories of gaiety and excitement; balls, and things like that.”
thomas smiled; the words were so simple and natural. “had the fiat gone forth for you, instead of for her, ethel, it would have brought you no dismay?”
“only that i must leave all my dear ones behind me,” she answered, looking up at him, a bright smile shining through her tears. “i should know that god would not take me, unless it were for the best. oh, thomas! if we could only save her!”
“child, you contradict yourself. if what god does must be for the best—and it is—that thought should reconcile you to parting with sarah anne.”
“y—es,” hesitated ethel. “only i fear she has never thought of it herself, or in any way prepared for it.”
“do you know that i have to find fault with you?” resumed thomas godolphin, after a pause. “you have not been true to me, ethel.”
she turned her eyes upon him in surprise.
“did you not promise me—did you not promise mr. snow, not to enter your sister’s chamber while the fever was upon her? i hear that you were in it often: her head nurse.”
a hot colour flushed into ethel’s face. “forgive me, thomas,” she whispered; “i could not help myself. sarah anne—it was on the third morning of her illness, when i was getting up—suddenly began to cry out for me very much, and mamma came to my bedroom and desired me to go to her. i said that mr. snow had forbidden me, and that i had promised you. it made mamma angry. she asked if i could be so selfish as to regard a promise before sarah anne’s life; that she might die if i thwarted her: and she took me by the arm and pulled me in. i would have told you, thomas, that i had broken my word; i wished to tell you; but mamma forbade me to do so.”
thomas godolphin stood looking at her. there was nothing to answer: he had known, in his deep and trusting love, that the fault had not lain with ethel. she mistook his silence, thinking he was vexed.
“you know, thomas, so long as i am here in mamma’s home, her child, it is to her that i owe obedience,” she gently pleaded. “as soon as i shall be your wife, i shall owe it and give it implicitly to you.”
“you are right, my darling.”
“and it has produced no ill consequences,” she resumed. “i did not catch the fever. had i found myself growing in the least ill, i should have sent for you and told you the truth.”
“ethel?” he impulsively cried—very impulsively for calm thomas godolphin; “had you caught the fever, i should never have forgiven those who led you into danger. i could not lose you.”
“hark!” said ethel. “mamma is calling.”
lady sarah had been calling to mr. godolphin. thinking she was[79] not heard, she now came downstairs and entered the room, wringing her hands; her eyes were overflowing, her sharp thin nose was redder than usual. “oh dear! i don’t know what we shall do with her!” she uttered. “she is so ill, and it makes her so fretful. mr. godolphin, nothing will satisfy her now but she must see you.”
“see me!” repeated he.
“she will, she says. i told her you were departing for scotland, and she burst out crying, and said if she were to die she should never see you again. do you mind going in? you are not afraid?”
“no, i am not afraid,” said thomas godolphin. “infection cannot have remained all this time. and if it had, i should not fear it.”
lady sarah grame led the way upstairs. thomas followed her. ethel stole in afterwards. sarah anne lay in bed, her thin face, drawn and white, raised upon the pillow; her hollow eyes were strained forward with a fixed look. ill as he had been led to suppose her, he was scarcely prepared to see her like this; and it shocked him. a cadaverous face, looking ripe for the tomb.
“why have you never come to see me?” she asked in her hollow voice, as he approached and leaned over her. “you’d never have come till i died. you only care for ethel.”
“i would have come to see you had i known you wished it,” he answered. “but you do not look strong enough to receive visitors.”
“they might cure me, if they would,” she continued, panting for breath. “i want to go away somewhere, and that snow won’t let me. if it were ethel, he would take care to cure her.”
“he will let you go as soon as you are equal to it, i am sure,” said thomas godolphin.
“why should the fever have come to me at all?—why couldn’t it have gone to ethel instead? she’s strong. she would have got well in no time. it’s not fair——”
“my dear child, my dear, dear child, you must not excite yourself,” implored lady sarah, abruptly interrupting her.
“i shall speak,” cried sarah anne, with a touch, feeble though it was, of her old peevish vehemence. “nobody’s thought of but ethel. if you had had your way,” looking hard at mr. godolphin, “she wouldn’t have been allowed to come near me; no, not if i had died.”
her mood changed to tears. lady sarah whispered to him to leave the room: it would not do, this excitement. thomas wondered why he had been brought to it. “i will come and see you again when you are better,” he soothingly whispered.
“no you won’t,” sobbed sarah anne. “you are going to scotland, and i shall be dead when you come back. i don’t want to die. why do they frighten me with their prayers? good-bye, thomas godolphin.”
the last words were called after him; when he had taken his leave of her and was quitting the room. lady sarah attended him to the threshold: her eyes full, her hands lifted. “you may see that there’s no hope of her!” she wailed.
thomas did not think there was the slightest hope. to his eye—though it was not so practised an eye in sickness as mr. snow’s, or even as that of the rector of all souls’—it appeared that in a very few[80] days, perhaps hours, hope for sarah anne grame would be over for ever.
ethel waited for him in the hall, and was leading the way back to the drawing-room; but he told her he could not stay longer, and opened the front door. she ran past him into the garden, putting her hand into his as he came out.
“i wish you were not going away,” she sadly said, her spirits, that night very unequal, causing her to see things with a gloomy eye.
“i wish you were going with me!” replied thomas godolphin. “do not weep, ethel. i shall soon be back again.”
“everything seems to make me weep to-night. you may not be back until—until the worst is over. oh! if she might but be saved!”
he held her face close to him, gazing down at it in the moonlight. and then he took from it his farewell kiss. “god bless you, my darling, for ever and for ever!”
“may he bless you, thomas!” she answered, with streaming eyes: and, for the first time in her life, his kiss was returned. then they parted. he watched ethel indoors, and went back to prior’s ash.
