"hullo," said jimmieboy. "back again?"
"do i look it?" asked the imp.
"yes, i think you do," returned jimmieboy. "unless you are your twin brother; are you your twin brother?"
"no," laughed the imp, "i am not. i am myself, and i am back again just as i appear to be, and i've had a real dull time of it since i went away from you."
"doing what?" asked jimmieboy.
"well, first i had to tell your mother that the butcher couldn't send a ten-pound turkey, but had two six-pounders for her if she[pg 138] wanted them; and then i had to tell him for her that he could send mutton instead. after that i had to blow up the grocer for your father, whose cigars hadn't come, and then tell your father what wasn't so—that the cigars hadn't been ordered—for the grocer. after that, just as i was leaving, the cook came to the 'phone and asked me to tell your aunt susan's cook that her cousin in new york was very ill with a broken wheel on his truck, and that if she would meet her in town at eleven o'clock they could go to the matinée together, which she said she would do, and altogether it has been a very dull twenty minutes for me. have you enjoyed yourself?"
"hugely," said jimmieboy; "and i hope now that you've come back i haven't got to stop enjoying myself in the same way. i'm right in the middle of the fish circus."
"oh, are you," said the imp, with a smile.[pg 139] "i rather enjoy that myself. how far have you got?"
"the shark and the lobster had just gone off when you came back."
"good," returned the imp. "the best part of the performance is yet to come. move over there in the chair and make room for me. there—that's it. now let's see what's on next. oh yes. here comes the juggling clam; he is delightful. i like him better that way than if he was served with tomato ketchup."
the book interrupted the imp at this point, and observed:
"now glue your eyes upon the ring,
and see the juggling clam
transform a piece of purple string
into a pillow-sham.
"nor think that when he has done so
his tricks are seen and done,
for next he'll turn a jet-black crow
[pg 140]into a penny bun.
"next from his handsome heaven hat
he'll take a piece of pie,
a donkey, and a maltese cat,
a green bluebottle fly;
"a talking-doll, a pair of skates,
a fine apartment-house,
a pound of sweet imported dates,
a brace of roasted grouse;
"and should you not be satisfied
when he has done all that,
he'll take whatever you decide
out of that beaver hat.
"and after that he'll lightly spring
into the atmosphere,
and show you how a clam can sing
if he but persevere.
"when he has all this to you,
if you applaud him well
he'll be so glad he'll show you through
his handsome pinky shell."
jimmieboy didn't believe the clam could do all this, and he said so to the imp, but the imp told him to "wait and see," and when the boy did wait he certainly did see,[pg 141] for the clam did everything that was promised, and when jimmieboy, just to test the resources of the wonderful hat, asked the clam to bring out three dozen jam tarts, the clam brought out the three dozen jam tarts—only they were picture jam tarts, and jimmieboy could only decide that it was a wonderful performance, though he would have liked mightily to taste the tarts, and see if they were as good as they looked.
"what comes next?" queried jimmieboy, as the clam bowed himself out of the ring.
"listen, and the book will tell," returned the imp.
the book resumed:
"we now shall have the privilege
of witnessing the whale
come forth, and set our teeth on edge
by standing on his tail.
"when this is done, he'll open wide
that wondrous mouth of his,
and let us see how the inside
[pg 142]of such great creatures is;
"and those who wish to take a trip—
like jonah took one time—
can through his mammoth larynx slip
for one small silver dime.
"for dollars ten, he'll take you to
the coast of labrador,
the arctic ocean he'll go through
for dollars twenty-four;
"and should you wish to see the pole,
he'll take you safely there,
if you will pay the usual toll—
ten thousand is the fare."
"i'd like to go to the north pole," said jimmieboy.
"got ten thousand dollars in your pocket?" queried the imp, with a snicker.
"no; but i've got a dollar in my iron bank," said jimmieboy; "perhaps he'd take me for that."
"very likely he would," said the imp. "these circus fellows will do almost anything for money; but when he got you there he would tell you you could stay there until[pg 143] you paid the other $9999; and think how awful that would be. why, your ears would be frozen solid inside of four weeks."
"is it as cold as that at the pole?" said jimmieboy.
"colder!" ejaculated the imp. "why, when i was there once i felt chilly in spite of my twenty-eight seal-skin sacques and sixty-seven mufflers, so i decided to build a fire. i got the fagots all ready, lit the match, and what do you suppose happened?"
"what?" queried jimmieboy, in a whisper, for he was a little awed by the imp's manner. "wouldn't the match light?"
"worse than that," replied the imp. "it lit, but before i could touch it to the fagots the flame froze!"
jimmieboy eyed the imp closely. this seemed to him so like a fairy story, in which the first half is always untrue and the last[pg 144] half imaginary, that he did not exactly know whether the imp meant him to believe all he said or not. it did him no particular good, though, to scrutinize the imp's countenance, for that worthy gave not the slightest sign that there was any room for doubt as to the truth of this story; indeed, he continued:
"why, the last time i went to the north pole i took forty-seven thermometers to register the coolth of it, and the mercury not only went down to the very bottom of every one of them, but went down so quickly that it burst through the glass bulb that marked 4006 below zero, and fell eight miles more before it even began to slow up. it was so cold that some milk i carried in a bottle was frozen so hard that it didn't thaw out for sixteen months after i got back, although i kept it in boiling water all the time, and one of the esquimaux who came up there in[pg 145] midsummer to shoot polar bears had to send for a plumber after his return home to thaw out his neck, which had frozen stiff."
"maybe that is why the whale charges so much to take people there," suggested jimmieboy.
"it is, exactly. there is no risk about it for him, but he has to eat so much hot coal and other things to warm him up, that really it costs him nearly as much as he gets to make the trip. i don't believe that he clears more than half a dollar on the whole thing, even when he is crowded," said the imp.
"crowded?" echoed jimmieboy. "what do you mean by that?"
"crowded? why, crowded is an english word meaning jamful and two more," said the imp.
"but crowded with what?" queried jimmieboy.
"why, passengers, of course. what did you suppose? ink bottles?"
[pg 146]
"then he takes more than one passenger at a time," said jimmieboy.
"certainly he does. he'll hold twenty-five boys of your size in comfort, thirty-five in discomfort, forty-five in an emergency, and fifty at a pinch," said the imp. "but see here, we are losing a lot of circus. there goes the educated scallop out of the ring now. i'm sorry you missed him, for he is a tender."
"a what?"
"a tender. that is, he is ten times as marvellous as a wonder. why that scallop is the finest comic actor you ever saw. his imitation of a party of sharks off manning is simply the most laughable thing i ever saw," said the imp, enthusiastically.
"i wish i could understand half of what you say," said jimmieboy, looking wistfully at the imp. "because if i did, you know, i might guess the rest."
[pg 147]
"what is it you don't understand now?" asked the imp.
"what is a party of sharks off manning?" queried jimmieboy.
"did you ever see a man fishing?" questioned the imp.
"yes."
"well, if a man can fish, why shouldn't a fish man? sharks can catch men just as easily as men can catch sharks, and the scallop shows how sharks behave when they catch men—that's all."
"i wish i'd seen it; can't you turn back to that page in the book, and have it done all over again?" asked the boy.
"no, i can't," said the imp. "it's against the rules of the library. it hurts a book to be turned back, just as much as it hurts your little finger to be turned back, and in nine cases out of ten turning back pages makes them dogeared; and dogs, or anything[pg 148] that even suggests dogs, are not allowed here. why, if the other imps who own this library with me knew that i had even mentioned dogs they would suspend me for a week. but, my dear boy, we really must stop talking. this time we missed the crab with the iron claw—why, that crab can crack hickory nuts with that claw when he's half asleep; and when he's wide awake he can hold a cherry stone a hundred miles a minute, and that's holding mighty fast, i can tell you. let's hear what the book has to say now."
"bang!" said the book.
"dear me!" cried the imp. "did you hear that!"
"yes," said jimmieboy. "what does it mean?"
"it means the circus is all over," said the imp. "that was the shutting of the book we heard. it's too bad; but there are other[pg 149] things quite as well worth seeing here. i'll tell you what we'll do—i'll find the pixyweevil poetry book, and turn that on, and while you are listening, i'll see who that is ringing, for i am quite sure the bell rang a minute ago."
