hazel, as she was borne along, her lovely hair streaming in the wind and lashing her across the face and eyes now and again, breath coming painfully, eyes smarting, fingers aching in the vise-like hold she was compelled to keep upon the saddle, began to wonder just how long she could hold out. it seemed to her it was a matter of minutes only when she must let go and be whirled into space while the tempestuous steed sped on and left her.
nothing like this motion had ever come into her experience before. she had been run away with once, but that was like a cradle to this tornado of motion. she had been frightened before, but never like this. the blood pounded in her head and eyes until it seemed it would burst forth, and now and again the surging of it through her ears gave the sensation of drowning, yet on and on she went. it was horrible to have no bridle, and nothing to say about where she should go, no chance to control her horse. it was like being on an express train with the engineer dead in his cab and no way to get to the brakes. they must stop some time and what then? death seemed inevitable, and yet as the mad rush continued she almost wished it might come and end the horror of this ride.
it seemed hours before she began to realize that the horse was no longer going at quite such a breakneck speed, or else she was growing accustomed to the motion and getting her breath, she could not quite be sure which. but little by little she perceived that the mad flying had settled into a long lope. the pony evidently had no intention of stopping and it was plain that he had some distinct place in mind to which he was going as straight and determinedly as any human being ever laid out a course and forged ahead in it. there was that about his whole beastly contour that showed it was perfectly useless to try to deter him from it or to turn him aside.
when her breath came less painfully, hazel made a fitful little attempt to drop a quiet word of reason into his ear.
"nice pony, nice, good pony——!" she soothed, but the wind caught her voice and flung it aside as it had flung her cap a few moments before, and the pony only laid his ears back and fled stolidly on.
she gathered her forces again.
"nice pony! whoa, sir!" she cried, a little louder than the last time and trying to make her voice sound firm and commanding.
but the pony had no intention of "whoa-ing," and though she repeated the command many times, her voice growing each time more firm and normal, he only showed the whites of his eyes at her and continued doggedly on his way.
she saw it was useless; and the tears, usually with her under fine control, came streaming down her white cheeks.
"pony, good horse, dear pony, won't you stop!" she cried and her words ended with a sob. but still the pony kept on.
the desert fled about her yet seemed to grow no shorter ahead, and the dark line of cloud mystery, with the towering mountains beyond, were no nearer than when she first started. it seemed much like riding on a rocking-horse, one never got anywhere, only no rocking-horse flew at such a speed.
yet she realized now that the pace was much modified from what it had been at first, and the pony's motion was not hard. if she had not been so stiff and sore in every joint and muscle with the terrible tension she had kept up the riding would not have been at all bad. but she was conscious of most terrible weariness, a longing to drop down on the sand of the desert and rest, not caring whether she ever went on again or not. she had never felt such terrible weariness in her life.
she could hold on now with one hand, and relax the muscles of the other a little. she tried with one hand presently to do something with that sweeping pennant of hair that lashed her in the face so unexpectedly now and then, but could only succeed in twisting it about her neck and tucking the ends into the neck of her riding habit; and from this frail binding it soon slipped free again.
she was conscious of the heat of the sun on her bare head, the smarting of her eyes. the pain in her chest was subsiding, and she could breathe freely again, but her heart felt tired, so tired, and she wanted to lie down and cry. would she never get anywhere and be helped?
how soon would her father and brother miss her and come after her? when she dared she looked timidly behind, and then again more lingeringly, but there was noth[47]ing to be seen but the same awful stretch of distance with mountains of bright colour in the boundaries everywhere; not a living thing but herself and the pony to be seen. it was awful. somewhere between herself and the mountains behind was the place she had started from, but the bright sun shone steadily, hotly down and shimmered back again from the bright earth, and nothing broke the awful repose of the lonely space. it was as if she had suddenly been caught up and flung out into a world where was no other living being.
why did they not come after her? surely, surely, pretty soon she would see them coming. they would spur their horses on when they found she had been run away with. her father and brother would not leave her long in this horrible plight.
then it occurred to her that her father and brother had been for some time out of sight ahead before she began her race. they would not know she was gone, at once; but of course mr. hamar would do something. he would not leave her helpless. the habit of years of trusting him assured her of that. for the instant she had forgotten the cause of her flight. then suddenly she remembered it with sickening thought. he who had been to her a brave fine hero, suffering daily through the carelessness of a wife who did not understand him, had stepped down from his pedestal and become the lowest of the low. he had dared to kiss her! he had said he would marry her—he,—a married man! her whole soul revolted against him again, and now she was glad she had run away—glad the horse had taken her so far—glad she had shown him how terrible the whole thing looked to her. she was even glad that her father and brother were far away too, for the present, until she should adjust herself to life once more. how could she have faced them after what happened? how could she ever live in the same world with that man again,—that fallen hero? how could she ever have thought so much of him? she had almost worshipped him, and had been so pleased when he had seemed to enjoy her company, and complimented her by telling her she had whiled away a weary hour for him! and he? he had been meaning—this—all the time! he had looked at her with that thought in his mind! oh—awful degradation!
there was something so revolting in the memory of his voice and face as he had told her that she closed her eyes and shuddered as she recalled it, and once more the tears went coursing down her cheeks and she sobbed aloud, piteously, her head bowing lower and lower over the pony's neck, her bright hair falling down about her shoulders and beating against the animal's breast and knees as he ran, her stiffened fingers clutching his mane to keep her balance, her whole weary little form drooping over his neck in a growing exhaustion, her entire being swept by alternate waves of anger, revulsion and fear.
perhaps all this had its effect on the beast; perhaps somewhere in his make-up there lay a spot, call it instinct or what you please, that vibrated in response to the distress of the human creature he carried. perhaps the fact that she was in trouble drew his sympathy, wicked little willful imp though he usually was. certain it is that he began to slacken his pace decidedly, until at last he was walking, and finally stopped short and turned his head about with a troubled neigh as if to ask her what was the matter.
the sudden cessation of the motion almost threw her from her seat; and with new fear gripping her heart she clutched the pony's mane the tighter and looked about her trembling. she was conscious more than anything else of the vast spaces about her in every direction, of the loneliness of the spot, and her own desolate condition. she had wanted the horse to stop and let her get down to solid ground, and now that he had done so and she might dismount a great horror filled her and she dared not. but with the lessening of the need for keeping up the tense strain of nerve and muscle, she suddenly began to feel that she could not sit up any longer, that she must lie down, let go this awful strain, stop this uncontrollable trembling which was quivering all over her body.
the pony, too, seemed wondering, impatient that she did not dismount at once. he turned his nose towards her again with a questioning snuff and snort, and showed the wicked whites of his eyes in wild perplexity. then a panic seized her. what if he should start to run again? she would surely be thrown this time, for her strength was almost gone. she must get down and in some way gain possession of the bridle. with the bridle she might perhaps hope to guide his movements, and make further wild riding impossible.
slowly, painfully, guardedly, she took her foot from the stirrup and slipped to the ground. her cramped feet refused to hold her weight for the moment and she tottered and went into a little heap on the ground. the pony, feeling his duty for the present done, sidled away from her and began cropping the grass hungrily.
the girl sank down wearily at full length upon the ground and for a moment it seemed to her she could never rise again. she was too weary to lift her hand or to move the foot that was twisted under her into a more comfortable position, too weary to even think. then suddenly the sound of the animal moving steadily away from her roused her to the necessity of securing him. if he should get away in this wide desolation she would be helpless indeed.
she gathered her flagging energy and got painfully upon her feet. the horse was nearly a rod away, and moving slowly, steadily, as he ate, with now and then a restless lifting of his head to look off into the distance and take a few determined steps before he stopped for another bite. that horse had something on his mind and was going straight towards it. she felt that he cared little what became of her. she must look out for herself. this was something she had never had to do before; but the instinct came with the need.
slowly, tremblingly, feeling her weakness, she stole towards him, a bunch of grass in her hand she had plucked as she came, holding it obviously as she had fed a lump of sugar or an apple to her finely groomed mare in new york. but the grass she held was like all the grass about him, and the pony had not been raised a pet. he tossed his nose energetically and scornfully as she drew near and hastened on a pace or two.
cautiously she came on again talking to him gently, pleadingly, complimentarily: "nice good horsey! pretty pony so he was!" but he only edged away again.
and so they went on for some little way until hazel almost despaired of catching him at all, and was becoming more and more aware of the vastness of the universe about her, and the smallness of her own being.
at last, however, her fingers touched the bridle, she felt the pony's quick jerk, strained every muscle to hold on, and found she had conquered. he was in her hands. for how long was a question, for he was strong enough to walk away and drag her by the bridle perhaps, and she knew little about tricks of management. moreover her muscles were so flabby and sore with the long ride that she was ill-fitted to cope with the wise and wicked little beast. she dreaded to get upon his back again, and doubted if she could if she tried, but it seemed the only way to get anywhere, or to keep company with the pony, for she could not hope to detain him by mere physical force if he decided otherwise.
she stood beside him for a moment, looking about her over the wide distance. everything looked alike, and different from anything she had ever seen before. she must certainly get on that pony's back, for her fear of the desert became constantly greater. it was almost as if it would snatch her away in a moment more if she stayed there longer, and carry her into vaster realms of space where her soul would be lost in infinitude. she had never been possessed by any such feeling before and it frightened her unreasoningly.
turning to the pony, she measured the space from the ground to the queer saddle and wondered how people mounted such things without a groom. when she had mounted that morning it had been milton hamar's strong arm that swung her into the saddle, and his hand that held her foot for the instant of her spring. the memory of it now sent a shudder of dislike over her whole body. if she had known, he never should have touched her! the blood mounted uncomfortably into her tired face, and made her conscious of the heat of the day, and of a burning thirst. she must go on and get to some water somewhere. she could not stand this much longer.
carefully securing the bridle over her arm she reached up and took hold of the saddle, doubtfully at first, and then desperately; tried to reach the stirrup with one foot, failed and tried again; and then wildly struggling, jumping, kicking, she vainly sought to climb back to the saddle. but the pony was not accustomed to such a demonstration at mounting and he strongly objected. tossing his head he reared and dashed off, almost throwing the girl to the ground and frightening her terribly.
nevertheless the desperation of her situation gave her strength for a fresh trial, and she struggled up again, and almost gained her seat, when the pony began a series of circles which threw her down and made her dizzy with trying to keep up with him.
thus they played the desperate game for half an hour more. twice the girl lost the bridle and had to get it again by stealthy wiles, and once she was almost on the point of giving up, so utterly exhausted was she.
but the pony was thirsty too, and he must have decided that the quickest way to water would be to let her mount; for finally with lifted head he stood stock still and let her struggle up his side; and at last, well-nigh falling from sheer weariness, she sat astonished that she had accomplished it. she was on his back, and she would never dare to get down again, she thought, until she got somewhere to safety. but now the animal, his courage renewed by the bite he had taken, started snorting off at a rapid pace once more, very nearly upsetting his rider at the start, and almost losing her the bridle once more. she sat trembling, and gripping bridle and saddle for some time, having enough to do to keep her seat without trying to direct her bearer, and then she saw before her a sudden descent, steep but not very long, and at its bottom a great puddle of dirty water. the pony paused only an instant on the brink and then began the descent. the girl cried out with fear, but managed to keep her seat, and the impatient animal was soon ankle deep in the water drinking long and blissfully.
hazel sat looking in dismay about her. the water-hole seemed to be entirely surrounded by steep banks like that they had descended, and there was no way out except to return. could the horse climb up with her on his back? and could she keep her seat? she grew cold with fear at the thought, for all her riding experience had been on the level, and she had become more and more conscious of her flagging strength.
besides, the growing thirst was becoming awful. oh, for just one drop of that water that the pony was enjoying! black and dirty as it was she felt she could drink it. but it was out of her reach and she dared not get down. suddenly a thought came to her. she would wet her handkerchief and moisten her lips with that. if she stooped over quite carefully she might be able to let it down far enough to touch the water.
she pulled the small bit of linen from the tiny pocket of her habit and the pony, as if to help her, waded into the water farther until her skirt almost touched it. now she found that by putting her arm about the pony's neck she could dip most of her handkerchief in the water, and dirty as it was it was most refreshing to bathe her face and hands and wrists and moisten her lips.
but the pony when he had his fill had no mind to tarry, and with a splash, a plunge and a wallow that gave the girl an unexpected shower bath, he picked his way out of the hole and up the rocky side of the descent, while she clung frightened to the saddle and wondered if she could possibly hang on until they were up on the mesa again. the dainty handkerchief dropped in the flight floated pitifully on the muddy water, another bit of comfort left behind.
but when they were up and away again, what with the fright, and the fact that they had come out of the hole on the opposite side from that which they had entered it, the girl had lost all sense of direction, and everywhere stretched away one vast emptiness edged with mountains that stood out clear, cold and unfriendly.
the whole atmosphere of the earth seemed to have changed while they were down at the drinking hole, for now the shadows were long and had almost a menacing attitude as they crept along or leaped sideways after the travellers. hazel noticed with a startled glance at the sky that the sun was low and would soon be down. and that of course where the sun hung like a great burning opal must be the west, but that told her nothing, for the sun had been high in the heavens when they had started, and she had taken no note of direction. east, west, north or south were all one to her in her happy care-free life that she had hitherto led. she tried to puzzle it out and remember which way they had turned from the railroad but grew more bewildered, and the brilliant display in the west flamed alarmingly as she realized that night was coming on and she was lost on a great desert with only a wild tired little pony for company, hungry and thirsty and weary beyond anything she had ever dreamed before.
they had been going down into a broad valley for some little time, which made the night seem even nearer. hazel would have turned her horse back and tried to retrace her steps, but that he would not, for try as she might, and turn him as she would he circled about and soon was in the same course again, so that now the tired hands could only hold the reins stiffly and submit to be carried where the pony willed. it was quite evident he had a destination in view, and knew the way thereto. hazel had read of the instinct of animals. she began to hope that he would presently bring her to a human habitation where she would find help to get to her father once more.
but suddenly even the glory of the dying sun was lost as the horse entered the dimness of the canyon opening, whose high walls of red stone, rising solemnly on either hand, were serrated here and there with long transverse lines of grasses and tree-ferns growing in the crevices, and higher up appeared the black openings of caves mysterious and fearsome in the twilight gloom. the way ahead loomed darkly. somewhere from out the memories of her childhood came a phrase from the church-service to which she had never given conscious attention, but which flashed vividly to mind now: "though i walk through the valley of the shadow—the valley of the shadow!" surely this must be it. she wished she could remember the rest of it. what could it have meant? she shivered visibly, and looked about her with wild eyes.
the cottonwoods and oaks grew thickly at the base of the cliffs, almost concealing them sometimes, and above the walls rose dark and towering. the way was rough and slippery, filled with great boulders and rocks, around which the pony picked his way without regard to the branches of trees that swept her face and caught in her long hair as they went by.
vainly she strove to guide him back, but he turned only to whirl again, determinedly. somewhere in the deep gloom ahead he had a destination and no mere girl was to deter him from reaching it as soon as possible. it was plain to his horse-mind that his rider did not know what she wanted, and he did, so there were no two ways about it. he intended to go back to his old master as straight and as fast as he could get there. this canyon was the shortest cut and through this canyon he meant to walk whether she liked it or not.
further and further into the gloom they penetrated, and the girl, frenzied with fear, cried out with the wild hope that some one might be near and come to her rescue. but the gloomy aisle of the canyon caught up her voice and echoed it far and high, until it came back to her in a volume of sepulchral sound that filled her with a nameless dread and made her fear to open her lips again. it was as if she had by her cry awakened the evil spirit who inhabited the canyon and set it searching for the intruder. "help! help!" how the words rolled and returned upon her trembling senses until she quaked and quivered with their echoes!
on went the pony into the deepening shadows, and each moment the darkness shut down more impenetrably, until the girl could only close her eyes, lower her head as much as possible to escape the branches—and pray.
then suddenly, from above where the distant sky gave a line of light and a single star had appeared to pierce the dusk like a great jewel on a lady's gown, there arose a sound; blood-curdling and hideous, high, hollow, far-echoing, chilling her soul with horror and causing her heart to stand still with fear. she had heard it once before, a night or two ago, when their train had stopped in a wide desert for water or repairs or something and the porter of the car had told her it was coyotes. it had been distant then, and weird and interesting to think of being so near real live wild animals. she had peered from the safety of her berth behind the silken curtains and fancied she saw shadowy forms steal over the plain under the moonlight. but it was a very different thing to hear the sound now, out alone among their haunts, with no weapon and none to protect her. the awfulness of her situation almost took away her senses.
still she held to the saddle, weak and trembling, expecting every minute to be her last; and the horrid howling of the coyotes continued.
down below the trail somewhere she could hear the soft trickling of water with maddening distinctness now and then. oh, if she could but quench this terrible thirst! the pony was somewhat refreshed with his grass and his drink of water, but the girl, whose life up to this day had never known a want unsatisfied, was faint with hunger and burning with thirst, and this unaccustomed demand upon her strength was fast bringing it to its limit.
the darkness in the canyon grew deeper, and more stars clustered out overhead; but far, so very far away! the coyotes seemed just a shadow removed all about and above. her senses were swimming. she could not be sure just where they were. the horse slipped and stumbled on in the darkness, and she forgot to try to turn him from his purpose.
by and by she grew conscious that the way was leading upward again. they were scrambling over rough places, large rocks in the way, trees growing close to the trail, and the pony seemed not to be able to avoid them, or perhaps he didn't care. the howling of the coyotes was growing clearer every minute but somehow her fear of them was deadened, as her fear of all else. she was lying low upon the pony, clinging to his neck, too faint to cry out, too weak to stop the tears that slowly wet his mane. then suddenly she was caught in the embrace of a low hanging branch, her hair tangled about its roughness. the pony struggled to gain his uncertain footing, the branch held her fast and the pony scrambled on, leaving his helpless rider behind him in a little huddled heap upon the rocky trail, swept from the saddle by the tough old branch.
the pony stopped a moment upon a bit of shelving rock he had with difficulty gained, and looked back with a troubled snort, but the huddled heap in the darkness below him gave forth no sign of life, and after another snort and a half neigh of warning the pony turned and scrambled on, up and up till he gained the mesa above.
the late moon rose and hunted its way through the canyon till it found the gold of her hair spread about on the rocky way, and touched her sweet unconscious face with the light of cold beauty; the coyotes howled on in solemn chorus, and still the little figure lay quiet and unconscious of her situation.
