in the doorway of his flat christine kissed g.j. vehemently, but with a certain preoccupation; she was looking about her, very curious. the way in which she raised her veil and raised her face, mysteriously glanced at him, puckered her kind brow—these things thrilled him.
she said:
"you are quite alone, of course."
she said it nicely, even benevolently; nevertheless he seemed to hear her saying: "you are quite alone, or, of course, you wouldn't have let me come."
"i suppose it's through here," she murmured; and without waiting for an invitation she passed direct into the lighted drawing-room and stood there, observant.
he followed her. they were both nervous in the midst of the interior which he was showing her for the first time, and which she was silently estimating. for him she made an exquisite figure in the drawing-room. she was so correct in her church-dress, so modest, prim and demure. and her appearance clashed excitingly with his absolute knowledge of her secret temperament. he had often hesitated in his judgment of her. was she good enough or was she not? but now he thought more highly of her than ever. she was ideal, divine, the realisation of a dream. and he felt extraordinarily pleased with himself because, after much cautious indecision, he had invited her to visit him. by heaven, she was young physically, and yet she knew everything! her miraculous youthfulness rejuvenated him.
as a fact he was essentially younger than he had been for years. not only she, but his war work, had re-vitalised him. he had developed into a considerable personage on the lechford committee; he was chairman of a sub-committee; he bore responsibilities and had worries. and for a climax the committee had sent him out to france to report on the accountancy of the hospitals; he had received a special passport; he had had glimpses of the immense and growing military organisation behind the front; he had chatted in his fluent and idiomatic french with authorities military and civil; he had been ceremoniously complimented on behalf of his committee and country by high officials of the service de santé. a wondrous experience, from which he had returned to england with a greatly increased self-respect and a sharper apprehension of the significance of the war.
life in london was proceeding much as usual. if on the one hand the treasury had startlingly put an embargo upon capital issues, on the other hand the king had resumed his patronage of the theatre, and the town talked of a new lady teazle, and a british dye-industry had been inaugurated. but behind the thin gauze of social phenomena [127] g.j. now more and more realistically perceived and conceived the dark shape of the war as a vast moving entity. he kept concurrently in his mind, each in its place, the most diverse factors and events: not merely the flemish and the french battles, but the hoped-for intervention of roumania, the defeat of the austrians by servia, the menace of a new austrian attack on servia, the rise in prices, the russian move north of the vistula, the raid on yarmouth, the divulgence of the german axioms about frightfulness, the rumour of a definite german submarine policy, the terrible storm that had disorganised the entire english railway-system, and the dim distant italian earthquake whose death-roll of thousands had produced no emotion whatever on a globe monopolised by one sole interest.
and to-night he had had private early telephonic information of a naval victory in the north sea in which big german cruisers had been chased to their ignominious lairs and one sunk. christine could not possibly know of this grand affair, for the sunday night extras were not yet on the streets; he had it ready for her, eagerly waiting to pour it into her delicious lap along with the inexhaustible treasures of his heart. at that moment he envisaged the victory as a shining jewel specially created in order to give her a throb of joy.
"it seems they picked up a lot of survivors from the blucher," he finished his narration, rather proudly.
she retorted, quietly but terribly scornful:
"zut! you english are so naive. why save them? why not let them drown? do they not deserve to drown? look what they have done, those boches! and you save them! why did the german ships run away? they had set a trap—that sees itself—in addition to being cowards. you save them, and you think you have made a fine gesture; but you are nothing but simpletons." she shrugged her shoulders in inarticulate disdain.
christine's attitude towards the war was uncomplicated by any subtleties. disregarding all but the utmost spectacular military events, she devoted her whole soul to hatred of the germans—and all the germans. she believed them to be damnably cleverer than any other people on earth, and especially than the english. she believed them to be capable of all villainies whatsoever. she believed every charge brought against them, never troubling about evidence. she would have imprisoned on bread and water all germans and all persons with german names in england. she was really shocked by the transparent idiocy of britons who opposed the retirement of prince louis of battenberg from the navy. for weeks she had remained happily in the delusion that prince louis had been shot in the tower, and when the awakening came she had instantly decided that the sinister influence of lord haldane and naught else must have saved prince louis from a just retribution. she had a vision of england as overrun with innumerable german spies who moved freely at inexpressible speed about the country in high-powered grey automobiles with dazzling headlights, while the marvellously stupid and blind british police touched their hats to them. g.j. smiled at her in silence, aware by experience of the futility of argument. he knew quite a lot of women who had almost precisely christine's attitude towards the war, and quite a lot of men too. but he could have wished the charming creature to be as desirable for her intelligence as for her physical and her strange spiritual charm: he could have wished her not to be providing yet another specimen of the phenomena of woman repeating herself so monotonously in the various worlds of london. the simpleton of fifty made in his soul an effort to be superior, and failed. "what is it that binds me to her?" he reflected, imagining himself to be on the edge of a divine mystery, and never expecting that he and christine were the huge contrivances of certain active spermatozoa for producing other active spermatozoa.
christine did not wonder what bound her to g.j. she knew, though she had never heard such a word as spermatozoa. she had a violent passion for him; it would, she feared, be eternal, whereas his passion for her could not last more than a few years. she knew what the passions of men were—so she said to herself superiorly. her passion for him was in her smile as she smiled back at his silent smile; but in her smile there was also a convinced apostleship—for she alone was the repository of the truth concerning germans, which truth she preached to an unheeding world. and there was something else in her baffling smile, namely, a quiet, good-natured, resigned resentment against the richness of his home. he had [130] treated her always with generosity, and at any rate with rather more than fairness; he had not attempted to conceal that he was a man of means; she had nothing to reproach him with financially. and yet she did reproach him—for having been too modest. she had a pretty sure instinct for the price of things, and she knew that this albany interior must have been very costly; further, it displayed what she deemed to be the taste of an exclusive aristocrat. she saw that she had been undervaluing her gilbert. the proprietor of this flat would be entitled to seek relations of higher standing than herself in the ranks of cocotterie; he would be justified in spending far more money on a girl than he had spent on her. he was indeed something of a fraud with his exaggerated english horror of parade. and he lived by himself, save for servants; he was utterly free; and yet for two months he had kept her out of these splendours, prevented her from basking in the glow of these chandeliers and lounging on these extraordinary sofas and beholding herself in these terrific mirrors. even now he was ashamed to let his servants see her. was it altogether nice of him? her verdict on him had not the slightest importance—even for herself. in kissing other men she generally kissed him—to cheat her appetite. she was at his mercy, whatever he was. he was useful to her and kind to her; he might be the fount of very important future advantages; but he was more than that, he was indispensable to her. she walked exploringly into the little glittering bedroom. beneath the fantastic dome of the bed the sheets were turned down and a suit of pyjamas laid out. on a chinese tray on a lacquered table by the bed was a spirit-lamp and kettle, and a box of matches in an embroidered case with one match sticking out ready to be seized and struck. she gazed, and left the bedroom, saying nothing, and wandered elsewhere. the stairs were so infinitesimal and dear and delicious that they drew from her a sharp exclamation of delight. she ran up them like a child. g.j. turned switches. in the little glittering dining-room a little cold repast was laid for two on an inlaid table covered with a sheet of glass. christine gazed, saying nothing, and wandered again to the drawing-room floor, while g.j. hovered attendant. she went to the vast regency desk, idly fingering papers, and laid hold of a document. it was his report on the accountacy of the lechford hospitals in france. she scrutinised it carefully, murmuring sentences from it aloud in her french accent. at length she dropped it; she did not put it down, she dropped it, and murmured:
"all that—what good does it do to wounded men?... true, i comprehend nothing of it—i!"
then she sat to the piano, whose gorgeous and fantastic case might well have intimidated even a professional musician.
"dare i?" she took off her gloves.
as she began to play her best waltz she looked round at g.j. and said:
"i adore thy staircase."
and that was all she did say about the flat. still, her demeanour, mystifying as it might be, was benign, benevolent, with a remarkable appearance of genuine humility.
g.j., while she played, discreetly picked up the telephone and got the marlborough club. he spoke low, so as not to disturb the waltz, which christine in her nervousness was stumbling over.
"i want to speak to mr. montague ryper. yes, yes; he is in the club. i spoke to him about an hour ago, and he is waiting for me to ring him up.... that you, monty? well, dear heart, i find i shan't be able to come to-night after all. i should like to awfully, but i've got these things i absolutely must finish.... you understand.... no, no.... is she, by jove? by-bye, old thing."
when christine had pettishly banged the last chord of the coda, he came close to her and said, with an appreciative smile, in english:
"charming, my little girl."
she shook her head, gazing at the front of the piano.
he murmured—it was almost a whisper:
"take your things off."
she looked round and up at him, and the light diffused from a thousand lustres fell on her mysterious and absorbed face.
"my little rabbit, i cannot stay with thee to-night."
the words, though he did not by any means take them as final, seriously shocked him. for five days he had known that mrs. braiding, subject to his convenience, was going down to bramshott to see the defender of the empire. for four days he had hesitated whether or not he should tell her that she might stay away for the night. in the end he had told her to stay away; he had insisted that she should stay; he had protested that he was quite ready to look after himself for a night and a morning. she had gone, unwillingly, having first arranged a meal which he said he was to share with a friend—naturally, for mrs. braiding, a male friend. she had wanted him to dine at the club, but he had explained to mrs. braiding that he would be busy upon hospital work, and that another member of the committee would be coming to help him—the friend, of course. even when he had contrived this elaborate and perfect plot he had still hesitated about the bold step of inviting christine to the flat. the plan was extremely attractive, but it held dangers. well, he had invited her. if she had not been at home, or if she had been unwilling to come, he would not have felt desolated; he would have accepted the fact as perhaps providential. but she was at home; she was willing; she had come. she was with him; she had put him into an ecstasy of satisfaction and anticipation. one evening alone with her in his own beautiful flat! what a frame for her and for love! and now she said that she would not stay. it was incredible; it could not be permitted.
"but why not? we are happy together. i have just refused a dinner because of—this. didn't you hear me on the 'phone?"
"thou wast wrong," she smiled. "i am not worth a dinner. it is essential that i should return home. i am tired—tired. it is sunday night, and i have sworn to myself that i will pass this evening at home—alone."
exasperating, maddening creature! he thought: "i fancied i knew her, and i don't know her. i'm only just beginning to know her." he stared steadily at her soft, serious, worried, enchanting face, and tried to see through it into the arcana of her queer little brain. he could not. the sweet face foiled him.
"then why come?"
"because i wished to be nice to thee, to prove to thee how nice i am."
she seized her gloves. he saw that she meant to go. his demeanour changed. he was aware of his power over her, and he would use it. she was being subtle; but he could be subtle too, far subtler than christine. true, he had not penetrated her face. nevertheless his instinct, and his male gift of ratiocination, informed him that beneath her gentle politeness she was vexed, hurt, because he had got rid of mrs. braiding before receiving her. she had her feelings, and despite her softness she could resent. still, her feelings must not be over-indulged; they must not be permitted to make a fool of her. he said, rather teasingly, but firmly:
"i know why she refuses to stay."
she cried, plaintive:
"it is not that i have another rendezvous. no! but naturally thou thinkest it is that."
he shook his head.
"not at all. the little silly wants to go back home because she finds there is no servant here. she is insulted in her pride. i noticed it in her first words when she came in. and yet she ought to know—"
christine gave a loud laugh that really disconcerted him.
"au revoir, my old one. embrace me." she dropped the veil.
"no!"
he could play a game of pretence longer than she could. she moved with dignity towards the door, but never would she depart like that. he knew that when it came to the point she was at the mercy of her passion for him. she had confessed the tyranny of her passion, as such victims foolishly will. moreover he had perceived it for himself. he followed her to the door. at the door she would relent. and, sure enough, at the door she leapt at him and clasped his neck with fierceness and fiercely kissed him through her veil, and exclaimed bitterly:
"ah! thou dost not love me, but i love thee!"
but the next instant she had managed to open the door and she was gone.
he sprang out to the landing. she was running down the stone stairs.
"christine!"
she did not stop. g.j. might be marvellously subtle; but he could not be subtle enough to divine that on that night christine happened to be the devotee of the most clement virgin, and that her demeanour throughout the visit had been contrived, half unconsciously, to enable her to perform a deed of superb self-denial and renunciation in the service of the dread goddess. he ate most miserably alone, facing an empty chair; the desolate solitude of the evening was terrible; he lacked the force to go seeking succour in clubs.
