"i was born in the city of stein, in the land of krain. my pious mother gertrude sang me psalms and spiritual songs in childhood; and often, when i awoke in the night, i saw her still sitting, patiently at her work by the stove, and heard her singing those hymns of heaven, or praying in the midnight darkness when her work was done. it was for me she prayed. thus, from my earliest childhood, i breathed the breath of pious aspirations. afterwards i went to laybach as a student of theology; and after the usual course of study, was ordained a priest. i went forth to the care of souls; my own soul filled with the faith, that ere long all people would be united in one church. yet attimes my heart was heavy, to behold how many nations there are who have not heard of christ; and how those, who are called christians, are divided into numberless sects, and how among these are many who are christians in name only. i determined to devote myself to the great work of the one church universal; and for this purpose, to give myself wholly up to the study of the evangelists and the fathers. i retired to the benedictine cloister of saint paul in the valley of lavant. the father-confessor in the nunnery of laak, where i then lived, strengthened me in this resolve. i had long walked with this angel of god in a human form, and his parting benediction sank deep into my soul. the prince-abbot berthold, of blessed memory, was then head of the benedictine convent. he received me kindly, and led me to the library; where i gazed with secret rapture on the vast folios of the christian fathers, from which, as from an arsenal, i was to draw the weapons of holy warfare. in the study of these, the year of my noviciate passed. i becamea franciscan friar; and took the name of brother bernardus. yet my course of life remained unchanged. i seldom left the cloister; but sat in my cell, and pored over those tomes of holy wisdom. about this time the aged confessor in laak departed this life. his death was made known to me in a dream. it must have been after midnight, when i thought that i came into the church, which was brilliantly lighted up. the dead body of the venerable saint was brought in, attended by a great crowd. it seemed to me, that i must go up into the pulpit and pronounce his funeral oration; and, as i ascended the stairs, the words of my text came into my mind; 'blessed in the sight of the lord is the death of his saints.' my funeral sermon ended in a strain of exultation; and i awoke with 'amen!' upon my lips. a few days afterwards, i heard that on that night the old man died. after this event i became restless and melancholy. i strove in vain to drive from me my gloomy thoughts. i could no longer study. i was no longer contented in the cloister. i even thought of leaving it.
"one night i had gone to bed early, according to my custom, and had fallen asleep. suddenly i was awakened by a bright and wonderful light, which shone all about me, and filled me with heavenly rapture. shortly after i heard a voice, which pronounced distinctly these words, in the sclavonian tongue; 'remain in the cloister!' it was the voice of my departed mother. i was fully awake; yet saw nothing but the bright light, which disappeared, when the words had been spoken. still it was broad daylight in my chamber. i thought i had slept beyond my usual hour. i looked at my watch. it was just one o'clock after midnight. suddenly the daylight vanished, and it was dark. in the morning i arose, as if new-born, through the wonderful light, and the words of my mother's voice. it was no dream. i knew it was the will of god that i should stay; and i could again give myself up to quiet study. i read the whole bible through once more in theoriginal text; and went on with the fathers, in chronological order. often, after the apparition of the light, i awoke at the same hour; and though i heard no voice and saw no light, yet was refreshed with heavenly consolation.
"not long after this an important event happened in the cloister. in the absence of the deacon of the abbey, i was to preach the thanksgiving sermon of harvest-home. during the week the prince-abbot berthold gave up the ghost; and my sermon became at once a thanks-giving and funeral sermon. perhaps it may not be unworthy of notice, that i was thus called to pronounce the burial discourse over the body of the last reigning, spiritual prince abbot in germany. he was a man of god, and worthy of this honor.
"one year after this event, i was appointed professor of biblical hermeneutics in klagenfurt, and left the abbey forever. in klagenfurt i remained ten years, dwelling in the same house, and eating at the same table, with seventeen other professors. their conversation naturally suggestednew topics of study, and brought to my notice books, which i had never before seen. one day i heard at table, that maurus cappellari, a monk of camaldoli, had been elected pope, under the name of gregory sixteenth. he was spoken of as a very learned man, who had written many books. at this time i was a firm believer in the pope's infallibility; and when i heard these books mentioned, there arose in me an irresistible longing to read them. i inquired for them; but they were nowhere to be had. at length i heard, that his most important work, the triumph of the holy see, and of the church, had been translated into german and published in augsburg. ere long the precious volume was in my hands. i began to read it with the profoundest awe. the farther i read, the more my wonder grew. the subject was of the deepest interest to me. i could not lay the book out of my hand, till i had read it through with the closest attention. now at length my eyes were opened. i saw before me a monk, who had been educated in an italian cloister; who, indeed, had read much, and yet only what was calculated to strengthen him in the prejudices of his childhood; and who had entirely neglected those studies upon which a bishop should most rely, in order to work out the salvation of man. i perceived at the same time, that this was the strongest instrument for battering down the walls, which separate christian from christian. i saw, though as yet dimly, the way in which the union of christians in the one true church was to be accomplished. i knew not whether to be most astonished at my own blindness, that, in all my previous studies, i had not perceived, what the reading of this single book made manifest to me; or at the blindness of the pope, who had undertaken to justify such follies, without perceiving that at the same moment he was himself lying in fatal error. but since i have learned more thoroughly the ways of the lord, i am now no more astonished at this, but pray only to divine providence, who so mysteriously prepares all people to be united in one true church. i no longer believed in the pope's infallibility; nay, i believed even, that, to the great injury of humanity, he lay in fatal error. i felt, moreover, that now the time had fully come, when i should publicly show myself, and found in america a parish and a school, and become the spiritual guide of men, and the schoolmaster of children.
"it was then, and on that account, that i wrote in the latin tongue my great work on biblical hermeneutics. but in germany it cannot be published. the austrian censor of the press cannot find time to read it, though i think, that if i have spent so many laborious days and sleepless nights in writing it, this man ought likewise to find time enough not only to read it, but to examine all the grounds of my reasoning, and point out to me any errors, if he can find any. notwithstanding, the spirit gave me no repose, but urged me ever mightily on to the perfection of my great work.
"one morning i sat writing, under peculiar influences of the spirit, upon the confusion of tongues, the division of the people, and the importance ofthe study of comparative philology, in reference to their union in one church. so wrapped was i in the thought, that i came late into my lecture-room; and after lecture returned to my chamber, where i wrote till the clock struck twelve. at dinner, one of the professors asked if any one had seen the star, about which so much was said. the professor of physics, said, that the student johannes schminke had come to him in the greatest haste, and besought him to go out and see the wonderful star; but, being incredulous about it, he made no haste, and, when they came into the street, the star had disappeared. when i heard the star spoken of, my soul was filled with rapture; and a voice within me seemed to say, 'the great time is approaching; labor unweariedly in thy work.' i sought out the student; and like herod, inquired diligently what time the star appeared. he informed me, that, just as the clock was striking eight, in the morning, he went out of his house to go to the college, and saw on the square a crowd looking at a bright star. it was the veryhour, when i was writing alone in my chamber on the importance of comparative philology in bringing about the union of all nations. i felt, that my hour had come. strangely moved, i walked up and down my chamber. the evening twilight came on. i lighted my lamp, and drew the green curtains before the windows, and sat down to read. but hardly had i taken the book into my hand, when the spirit began to move me, and urge me then to make my last decision and resolve. i made a secret vow, that i would undertake the voyage to america. suddenly my troubled thoughts were still. an unwonted rapture filled my heart. i sat and read till the supper bell rang. they were speaking at table of a red glaring meteor, which had just been seen in the air, southeast from klagenfurt; and had suddenly disappeared with a dull, hollow sound. it was the very moment at which i had taken my final resolution to leave my native land. every great purpose and event of my life, seemed heralded and attended by divine messengers; the voices of thedead; the bright morning star, shining in the clear sunshine; and the red meteor in the evening twilight.
"i now began seriously to prepare for my departure. the chamber i occupied, had once been the library of a franciscan convent. only a thick wall separated it from the church. in this wall was a niche, with heavy folding-doors, which had served the franciscans as a repository for prohibited books. here also i kept my papers, and my great work on biblical hermeneutics. the inside of the doors was covered with horrible caricatures of luther, melancthon, calvin, and other great men. i used often to look at them with the deepest melancholy, when i thought that these great men likewise had labored upon earth, and fought with satan in the church. but they were persecuted, denounced, condemned to die. so perhaps will it be with me. i thought of this often; and armed myself against the fear of death. i was in constant apprehension, lest the police should search my chamber during my absence, and, by examining my papers, discover my doctrine and designs. but the spirit said to me; 'be of good cheer; i will so blind the eyes of thy enemies, that it shall not once occur to them to think of thy writings.'
"at length, after many difficulties and temptations of the devil, i am on my way to america. yesterday i took leave of my dearest friend, gregory kuscher, in hallstadt. he seemed filled with the spirit of god, and has wonderfully strengthened me in my purpose. all the hosts of heaven looked on, and were glad. the old man kissed me at parting; and i ascended the mountain as if angels bore me up in their arms. near the summit, lay a newly fallen avalanche, over which, as yet, no footsteps had passed. this was my last temptation. 'ha!' cried i aloud, 'satan has prepared a snare for me; but i will conquer him with godly weapons.' i sprang over the treacherous snow, with greater faith than st. peter walked the waters of the lake of galilee; and came down the valley, while the mountain peaks yetshone in the setting sun. god smiles upon me. i go forth, full of hopeful courage. on christmas next, i shall excommunicate the pope."
saying these words, he slowly and solemnly took his leave, like one conscious of the great events which await him, and withdrew with the other priest into the church. flemming could not smile as berkley did; for in the solitary, singular enthusiast, who had just left them, he saw only another melancholy victim to solitude and over-labor of the brain; and felt how painful a thing it is, thus to become unconsciously the alms-man of other men's sympathies, a kind of blind beggar for the charity of a good wish or a prayer.
the sun was now setting. silently they floated back to saint gilgen, amid the cool evening shadows. the village clock struck nine as they landed; and as berkley was to depart early in the morning, he went to bed betimes. on bidding flemming good night he said;
"i shall not see you in the morning; so good bye, and god bless you. remember my partingwords. never mind trifles. in this world a man must either be anvil or hammer. care killed a cat!"
"i have heard you say that so often," replied flemming, laughing, "that i begin to believe it is true. but i wonder if care shaved his left eyebrow, after doing the deed, as the ancient egyptians used to do!"
"aha! now you are sweeping cobwebs from the sky! good night! good night!"
a sorrowful event happened in the neighbourhood that night. the widow's child died suddenly. "woe is me!"--thus mourns the childless mother in one of the funeral songs of greenland; "woe is me, that i should gaze upon thy place and find it vacant! in vain for thee thy mother dries the sea-drenched garments!" not in these words, but in thoughts like these, did the poor mother bewail the death of her child, thinking mostly of the vacant place, and the daily cares and solicitudes of maternal love. flemming saw a light in her chamber, and shadows moving toand fro, as he stood by the window, gazing into the starry, silent sky. but he little thought of the awful domestic tragedy, which was even then enacted behind those thin curtains!
