johnny did a good deal of thinking, at odd times, the next day, and the more he thought, the more he saw why his mother had wanted him to think, before their next talk. as he picked up his injuries, and looked at them one by one, trying to do it as if he had been somebody else, they looked so very different, that he wondered how he could have been so blind, and when his mother came, as usual, for the talk, he was inclined to beg off from going into particulars. but he decided not to, for he was very certain that he had never yet been sorry for talking things out with his mother. so he faced the music, and declared himself ready to “begin at the beginning and go on to the end.”
“what was the first thing that went wrong?” inquired mrs. leslie, as she touched up johnny’s hair with her nice soft fingers, adding, before he could answer, “you shall tell me how the things looked to you yesterday, and then i will turn the glass for you.”
“the first thing,” said johnny, “was, that when i got up my room was cold—or no, not exactly cold, perhaps, but sort of chilly and uncomfortable, and when i opened the register, only cold, cellar-y air came up; and you know, mamma, that generally, when i turn on the heat, it’s warm in five minutes.”
“what a comfortable state of things!” said his mother, “to have, always, a nice warm room in which to wash and dress, and what a good thing it was that on the very night when, for the first time in weeks, the furnace fire went out, the weather was so mild that the house was only chilly, not really cold. next!”
“a button came off my new jacket, and though it was the last one, and didn’t matter much, just for one day, it provoked me to have it come off then, when i was in a hurry.”
“it was such a good thing that it wasn’t the top button!” said his mother, brightly, “and that i had a new jacket at all, at all! next!”
“i said my prayers too fast, mamma, and i’m afraid i didn’t think them much.”
“there is nothing to make up for that, dear,” said his mother, gravely and sadly; “but the ‘hearty repentance,’ and ‘steadfast purpose’ can follow even that downfall, as i think you know.”
“i’d be in a bad way if i didn’t, mamma, for it does seem to me that i go down just as fast as i get up! then i was provoked that i came so near being late for breakfast; i was only just in time, you know, for all i’d got up when i was called.”
“but you were in time, dear, and it was not your fault that the button came off your jacket, and delayed you, so that should not have worried you. well, what came next?”
“oh mamma, you’ll think i’m only a baby!” and johnny hid his face in his mother’s neck. “i was vexed because we had flannel cakes for breakfast, instead of buckwheat cakes!”
“but they were such very good flannel cakes. and that new maple syrup would almost have made them seem good, even if they had been poor.”
“i know—it was only because i was in such a bad humor. the next was my book strap; i suppose i did pull too hard, for i felt like pulling something. but it was such a nice strap, when it was new, and such a bother to carry my books in a piece of twine! and the ridiculous things went flying all over the entry—or ’most all over.”
“and a kind little sister flew to the rescue, and was too loving even to know that she was growled at,” answered mrs. leslie, “and a dear old mother came forward in the handsomest manner, without even waiting to be asked, and subscribed the price of a new strap for the sufferer.”
“a dear young, lovely, beautiful mother!” and johnny gave her a hug which made her beg for mercy. then he went on.
“my hat blew off just as i was passing jim’s place, and he clapped it on my head about five times as hard as he needed to, but you’ll have to let me tell the other end of that, mamma. it was nearly in the gutter when he caught it, and the gutter was full of dirty water and mud, and i never half thanked him, because i was afraid he was making fun of me. then i had to run to make up the time i had lost talking to jim, and i just saved my distance—the bell rang before i was fairly in my seat.”
“then you were in time to answer to your name, and didn’t get a bad mark. that was a comfort. next!”
“i was ’most ready to fight ned, because he said he was taller than i am, and he walked off and left me, and didn’t come near me all the rest of the day.”
“and so avoided having a quarrel with you, for i suppose he saw that if you stayed together you would be very apt to quarrel. i think that was sensible.”
“yes, i know it was, now, and i’m very glad he did it, but it only made me more provoked, then. the next was, i had to do all my sums over twice, and some of them three times, and i missed a question, and lost my place in the mental arithmetic class—my place that i’ve kept all this term, next but one to the head, and ’most all the boys in the class are older than i am.”
“i have noticed that you were careless about your arithmetic lessons lately,” said his mother, “i think you have depended too much upon your natural quickness, and not enough upon study, and i hope that these two little defeats will be the cause of far greater victories.”
“yes, mamma, i think they will. i didn’t think it was worth while to study that lesson much, but i know it is, now. then i had a most ridiculous tumble, just as i was leaving the playground, and my books went flying again. i was glad there was nobody by but one of the little fellows, and he didn’t laugh a bit. he asked me if i was hurt, as if he’d been my grandfather, and helped me pick up my books, too; he’s a good little chap; so that’s the other end of that! then they hadn’t any book straps left at the store, and mr. dutton couldn’t promise me one for certain till this afternoon, because he had to have it made at skilley’s.”
“then you will be sure of a good strong, well-made one, for all the work they do at skilley’s seems to be well done. it was worth waiting, to have a better strap, wasn’t it?”
“yes, mamma, such a little wait as that. i got it this afternoon, and it is a beauty—nearly twice as long as the old one, and with such a nice strong buckle. and he didn’t charge a bit more, either. yes, i see it, now; i was looking through the wrong end of the spyglass, all yesterday. but how can anybody see a thing when he doesn’t see it, mamma? i couldn’t have seen everything this way yesterday, no matter how hard i might have tried.”
“are you quite sure about that, dear?” asked mrs. leslie. “if you had tried very hard, from the beginning, don’t you think you could have turned your spyglass, by school time at latest? when things seem to be going wrong, we have only to behave as we should do if we had lost some earthly possession, that we valued very much,—look carefully back to where the trouble seemed to begin, and then, if we can, set straight whatever went wrong there. you may be very sure, always, when you feel as you felt yesterday morning, that you are the one chiefly, if not wholly, in fault, and you should lose no time in arresting yourself, and pronouncing sentence.
“and another thing; you had far better accuse yourself wrongly a dozen times, than anybody else once. few things grow upon people so fast as complaining, and suspecting, and fault-finding do; and few faults cause more unhappiness to the people who commit them, for to anybody on the look out for slights and disagreeable things, they are to be found everywhere, and all the time. so watch the beginnings, dear. there is the whole thing, in two words, ‘watch and pray.’”
“i hope i’m not going to be one of those dreadful people!” and johnny sighed. the “hill difficulty” looked rather long and steep, just then.
“i don’t think you are, my darling,” said his mother, cheerfully. “knowing the danger is half the battle, and i think you are awake to it, now. if you wish to think kindly of people, make them think kindly of you; lose no opportunity to help, and comfort, and do good, and you will find it more and more easy to believe in the good-will of every one around you.”
“you’ve turned the field-glass around for me again, mamma. what a poor concern i’d be if it wasn’t for you! but as long as you don’t give up, i’ll try not to, though it’s pretty discouraging sometimes; now isn’t it?”
“it would be,” said his mother, with another loving kiss, “if we did not so well ‘know in whom we have believed.’ he lets us cast all our care on him, for he is ‘mighty to save.’ now good-night, darling. it is high time you were asleep. to-morrow will be a bright, brand-new day!”