"i have got twenty men at me back who will fight to the death," said the warrior to the old filibuster.
"and they can be blowed for all me," replied the old filibuster. "common as sparrows. cheap as cigarettes. show me twenty men with steel clamps on their mouths, with holes in their heads where memory ought to be, and i want 'em. but twenty brave men merely? i'd rather have twenty brave onions."
thereupon the warrior removed sadly, feeling that no salaams were paid to valour in these days of mechanical excellence.
valour, in truth, is no bad thing to have when filibustering; but many medals are to be won by the man who knows not the meaning of "pow-wow," before or afterwards. twenty brave men with tongues hung lightly may make trouble rise from the ground like smoke from grass, because of their subsequent fiery pride; whereas twenty cow-eyed villains who accept unrighteous and far-compelling kicks as they do the rain from heaven may halo the ultimate history of an expedition with gold, and plentifully bedeck their names, winning forty years of gratitude from patriots, simply by remaining silent. as for the cause, it may be only that they have no friends or other credulous furniture.
if it were not for the curse of the swinging tongue, it is surely to be said that the filibustering industry, flourishing now in the united states, would be pie. under correct conditions, it is merely a matter of dealing with some little detectives whose skill at search is rated by those who pay them at a value of twelve or twenty dollars each week. it is nearly axiomatic that normally a twelve dollar per week detective cannot defeat a one hundred thousand dollar filibustering excursion. against the criminal, the detective represents the commonwealth, but in this other case he represents his desire to show cause why his salary should be paid. he represents himself merely, and he counts no more than a grocer's clerk.
but the pride of the successful filibuster often smites him and his cause like an axe, and men who have not confided in their mothers go prone with him. it can make the dome of the capitol tremble and incite the senators to over-turning benches. it can increase the salaries of detectives who could not detect the location of a pain in the chest. it is a wonderful thing, this pride.
filibustering was once such a simple game. it was managed blandly by gentle captains and smooth and undisturbed gentlemen, who at other times dealt in law, soap, medicine, and bananas. it was a great pity that the little cote of doves in washington were obliged to rustle officially, and naval men were kept from their berths at night, and sundry custom house people got wiggings, all because the returned adventurer pow-wowed in his pride. a yellow and red banner would have been long since smothered in a shame of defeat if a contract to filibuster had been let to some admirable organization like one of our trusts.
and yet the game is not obsolete. it is still played by the wise and the silent men whose names are not display-typed and blathered from one end of the country to the other.
there is in mind now a man who knew one side of a fence from the other side when he looked sharply. they were hunting for captains then to command the first vessels of what has since become a famous little fleet. one was recommended to this man, and he said, "send him down to my office and i'll look him over." he was an attorney, and he liked to lean back in his chair, twirl a paper-knife, and let the other fellow talk.
the sea-faring man came and stood and appeared confounded. the attorney asked the terrible first question of the filibuster to the applicant. he said, "why do you want to go?"
the captain reflected, changed his attitude three times, and decided ultimately that he didn't know. he seemed greatly ashamed. the attorney, looking at him, saw that he had eyes that resembled a lambkin's eyes.
"glory?" said the attorney at last.
"no-o," said the captain.
"pay?"
"no-o. not that so much."
"think they'll give you a land grant when they win out?"
"no; never thought."
"no glory; no immense pay; no land grant. what are you going for, then?"
"well, i don't know," said the captain, with his glance on the floor and shifting his position again. "i don't know. i guess it's just for fun mostly." the attorney asked him out to have a drink.
when he stood on the bridge of his out-going steamer, the attorney saw him again. his shore meekness and uncertainty were gone. he was clear-eyed and strong, aroused like a mastiff at night. he took his cigar out of his mouth and yelled some sudden language at the deck.
this steamer had about her a quality of unholy mediæval disrepair, which is usually accounted the principal prerogative of the united states revenue marine. there is many a seaworthy ice-house if she were a good ship. she swashed through the seas as genially as an old wooden clock, burying her head under waves that came only like children at play, and, on board, it cost a ducking to go from anywhere to anywhere.
the captain had commanded vessels that shore-people thought were liners; but when a man gets the ant of desire-to-see-what-it's-like stirring in his heart, he will wallow out to sea in a pail. the thing surpasses a man's love for his sweetheart. the great tank-steamer thunder-voice had long been flanagan's sweetheart, but he was far happier off hatteras watching this wretched little portmanteau boom down the slant of a wave.
the crew scraped acquaintance one with another gradually. each man came ultimately to ask his neighbour what particular turn of ill-fortune or inherited deviltry caused him to try this voyage. when one frank, bold man saw another frank, bold man aboard, he smiled, and they became friends. there was not a mind on board the ship that was not fastened to the dangers of the coast of cuba, and taking wonder at this prospect and delight in it. still, in jovial moments they termed each other accursed idiots.
at first there was some trouble in the engine-room, where there were many steel animals, for the most part painted red and in other places very shiny—bewildering, complex, incomprehensible to any one who don't care, usually thumping, thumping, thumping with the monotony of a snore.
it seems that this engine was as whimsical as a gas-meter. the chief engineer was a fine old fellow with a grey moustache, but the engine told him that it didn't intend to budge until it felt better. he came to the bridge and said, "the blamed old thing has laid down on us, sir."
"who was on duty?" roared the captain.
"the second, sir."
"why didn't he call you?"
"don't know, sir." later the stokers had occasion to thank the stars that they were not second engineers.
the foundling was soundly thrashed by the waves for loitering while the captain and the engineers fought the obstinate machinery. during this wait on the sea, the first gloom came to the faces of the company. the ocean is wide, and a ship is a small place for the feet, and an ill ship is worriment. even when she was again under way, the gloom was still upon the crew. from time to time men went to the engine-room doors, and looking down, wanted to ask questions of the chief engineer, who slowly prowled to and fro, and watched with careful eye his red-painted mysteries. no man wished to have a companion know that he was anxious, and so questions were caught at the lips. perhaps none commented save the first mate, who remarked to the captain, "wonder what the bally old thing will do, sir, when we're chased by a spanish cruiser?"
the captain merely grinned. later he looked over the side and said to himself with scorn, "sixteen knots! sixteen knots! sixteen hinges on the inner gates of hades! sixteen knots! seven is her gait, and nine if you crack her up to it."
there may never be a captain whose crew can't sniff his misgivings. they scent it as a herd scents the menace far through the trees and over the ridges. a captain that does not know that he is on a foundering ship sometimes can take his men to tea and buttered toast twelve minutes before the disaster, but let him fret for a moment in the loneliness of his cabin, and in no time it affects the liver of a distant and sensitive seaman. even as flanagan reflected on the foundling, viewing her as a filibuster, word arrived that a winter of discontent had come to the stoke-room.
the captain knew that it requires sky to give a man courage. he sent for a stoker and talked to him on the bridge. the man, standing under the sky, instantly and shamefacedly denied all knowledge of the business; nevertheless, a jaw had presently to be broken by a fist because the foundling could only steam nine knots, and because the stoke-room has no sky, no wind, no bright horizon.
when the foundling was somewhere off savannah a blow came from the north-east, and the steamer, headed south-east, rolled like a boiling potato. the first mate was a fine officer, and so a wave crashed him into the deck-house and broke his arm. the cook was a good cook, and so the heave of the ship flung him heels over head with a pot of boiling water, and caused him to lose interest in everything save his legs. "by the piper," said flanagan to himself, "this filibustering is no trick with cards."
later there was more trouble in the stoke-room. all the stokers participated save the one with a broken jaw, who had become discouraged. the captain had an excellent chest development. when he went aft, roaring, it was plain that a man could beat carpets with a voice like that one.
