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CHAPTER I. A QUEER FISH.

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it was a sultry july afternoon, and in the azure arch of the firmament flamed an unclouded sun. the corn was ripening to a rich yellow in some meadows, and the newly mown hay in others was being piled on lumbering wains by perspiring laborers. the red earth of the sunken lanes was caked, and their blossoming hedges were burnt up by the merciless heat. under spreading foliage, or knee-deep in rapidly drying pools, stood weary cattle, switching lazy tails to brush away the teasing flies. honey-bees, ostentatiously industrious, buzzed noisily from flower to flower, and the sleepy birds twittered faintly midst the grateful shade of leaves. the land was parched for want of rain, and the languid hours dragged on slowly to the wished-for evening. on some such day, long ago, must elijah have sent his servant up the mount to watch for the growing of the small black cloud.

only by the trout stream was the weather endurable, for the overhanging trees made the atmosphere of translucent green deliciously cool. yet here and there spears of dazzling light pierced through the emerald twilight to smite the waters. these moved smoothly in amber floods between the grassy banks, and in places swirled pearly-white round moss-grown stones. the stream brawled over pebbles, gushed through granite rifts, and gloomed mysteriously in deep and silent pools, gleaming mirror-like under exposed tree trunks. may-flies dipped to the waters, swallows darted through the warm air, and kingfishers glanced here and there, each a flash of blue fire. and ever the river talked to the voiceless woods as it babbled seawards. from the woods came no reply, for the wind had died away, and the tongues of multitudinous leaves could no longer speak. had they been able even to whisper, they surely would have rebuked the gay spirits of the two young men who had invaded their sacred solitude.

"this is simply ripping," murmured one, who lay on his back with a battered panama over his eyes, "we are doing ourselves up to the top hole, i don't think. heavenly, ain't it?"

"it would be, if you did not chatter," retorted the other, fixing a fly on his line; "why do you desecrate this beauty with slang?"

"because i'm not a poet like you to spout blank verse."

"there is a medium between mutilation of the language and pedantic usage thereof."

"huh!" with scorn, "who's pedantic now?"

"my dear tod, as a lawyer, you should use better english."

"it is only a barrister who requires a superfine jaw," retorted tod elegantly, "and i'm only a solicitor of sorts. don't worry, haskins."

aware of the futility of argument, the other man merely shrugged his square shoulders and threw a skilful line in a pool wherein lurked a famous wary trout. the fly fell lightly on the water, and would have deceived any fish but the trout in question. there was no response to his dilly-duck-come-and-be-killed invitation, and the angler made another cast with still less success as the fly hit the stream heavily, scaring the trout into retreat. haskins said one word under his breath, but tod overheard and giggled. that was exactly like tod macandrew: he had no sense of the fitness of things.

"silly ass!" commented his friend savagely, spinning up the line, "you frighten the fish."

"not on to your hook, anyhow," chuckled tod into the depths of his hat, "what a sinfully bad angler you are, jerry."

"as bad an angler as you are a lover, perhaps," snapped gerald, throwing his rod on the grass and squatting to manufacture a cigarette.

tod sat up abruptly with a wounded air. "i call that beastly: to taunt a chap, because a girl won't bite."

"won't kiss, you mean."

"i'm taking an illustration from your infernal angling," said tod, with aggressive dignity. "if you were a lover yourself you would understand."

"oh, i understand well enough," replied the other lightly: he paused to run his tongue along the tissue paper, then added calmly: "i was in love with charity bird myself, before you came along, tod."

"well, now that i have come along, perhaps you'll call her miss bird."

"right oh! miss bird in the hand is worth two----"

"there are not two," interrupted macandrew indignantly, "but only one schoolgirl cousin. as if," cried tod to the woods, "i would sell myself."

gerald haskins cast a sly look on tod's ungraceful figure. "i see: you present yourself to miss bird as a desirable gift?"

"well, she wouldn't have you as a gift, anyhow, for all your family herald good looks, and halfpenny journal fame."

"notoriety, tod, notoriety only. a volume of verse, a book of stories and a dozen of essays do not give me the right to class myself along with the immortals. i'm a failure at thirty, tod--in my own eyes, i mean. think of that, tod, a failure at thirty."

"don't chuck it," advised macandrew politely, "you may be a success at forty."

"that won't compensate me for coming grey hairs and inevitable wrinkles," said the other bitterly, and smoked in dour silence.

tod crossed his legs and held forth.

"gerald wentworth julian haskins," he remarked solemnly, "all the fairies came to your nasty little cradle with gifts save the one who could have endowed you with gratitude. consider your beastly good looks, and abominably healthy constitution, and silly popularity, not to speak of your undeserved five hundred a year private income, and take shame to yourself. why with half your advantages i could marry charity to-morrow."

"h'm! the advantages you mention were practically offered to her, but she didn't seem to desire possession. i expect she prefers the last representative of an ancient scots family with an embarrassed estate, a reputation as a rising solicitor, and a heart of gold enshrined in an agreeable-looking body."

"agreeable-looking!" words failed tod, and he sprang up to wreath a strong arm round gerald's neck. haskins remonstrated as well as he could for laughter, but was forced to the very verge of the bank. here tod made him look into the mirror of the still pool below. "caliban and ferdinand: apollo and vulcan: count d'orsay and john wilkes," growled macandrew. "look at this picture and at that, you blighter."

almost choking, for tod was powerful and none too gentle in his grip, gerald humored his friend sufficiently to stare into the water glass, thinking meanwhile of a near revenge. he saw his own handsome brown face with bronze-colored hair and mustache of the same hue, curling under a straight greek nose, which divided two hazel eyes. he saw also macandrew's round, ruddy countenance, devoid of hair on chin and lips and cheeks, but haloed with crisp red curls, suggestive of his foxy nickname. tod assuredly could not be called good-looking, with freckles and wide mouth and aquiline nose, proof of high descent. but so much good humor and genuine honesty gleamed from his sea-blue eyes that he did himself a gross injustice in undervaluing a most ingratiating appearance. tod was tod, when all was said and done; the best fellow in the world, and the most unnecessarily modest. but haskins was not going to pander to tod's desire for compliments.

"you footling idiot," he breathed, possessed by a spirit of mischief, "as if you weren't worth a dozen of me. talk about ingratitude--you shall be punished, my friend--thus!" and souse into the pool they went. when tod got his breath again, after some spluttering, he used it to a bad purpose. gerald, keeping himself afloat, watched the stout little man climb the bank dripping like an insane river god, and heard him excel himself in language which he could scarcely have used in court.

"i'll pay you out for this," swore tod, hastily stripping off his wet flannels, and haskins, fearing his righteous wrath, swam upstream, clothes and all, with light easy strokes, laughing until the woods rang.

"what about your confounded fish?" sang out macandrew, when his apparel was drying in the hot sun, and he was sitting unashamed amid the grass. "you won't catch any more."

"i haven't caught any as it is," shouted gerald, swimming back. "i want to come ashore. pax, toddy, pax, you--you unclothed biped."

"wait till i get you here," cried tod, shaking his fist.

"he is not wise who ventures into the enemy's camp," quoth haskins, and crossed to the opposite bank of the stream. owing to the heat he had earlier shed all his clothing save a silk shirt and a pair of flannel trousers, so there was not much left to dry. in a few minutes he also was sitting in adamic simplicity on the farther shore, imploring tod to throw over a tobacco pouch and a pipe. but tod wouldn't: and smoked, chuckling, on his side of the stream, while haskins remonstrated. "i'll sleep then," announced gerald, seeing that his efforts to soften macandrew were unavailing.

"no, don't," shouted tod. "i want to talk about her."

"not a word, unless i get my smoke."

"here you are then," and macandrew threw across the necessary materials for the pipe of peace. "now then!" he cried, and the woods rang with his cry. "what am i to do about charity?"

"marry her," cried back haskins, lighting his briar; and after that introduction the conversation resolved itself into high-pitched talking from bank to bank, while the stream rippled between. it was lucky that no one was within hearing--as the young men well knew--for tod shouted out his dearest secrets to the wide world.

"how can i marry her?" bellowed macandrew, lying on his stomach in the attitude of caliban reflecting on setebos. "she hasn't any money, and i have very little also; there is the dowager to be considered."

the dowager was lady euphemia macandrew, tod's highly respected grandmother, who had looked after him since his parents had died. she wanted tod to marry an heiress cousin, who was still at school, and tod wished for his wife a charming dancer who was absolutely proper and extremely pretty. consequently tod and lady euphemia were fighting with all the ardor of their fiery race, and the domestic peace of the house of macandrew was a thing of the past.

"you should consider the dowager," sang out haskins, who knew and approved of the grim old lady, "she's your grandmother."

"no one denies that," yelled tod crossly, "talk sense!"

"hear then the sense of gerald, son of his father," shouted the other in a high tenor. "mrs. pelham odin, who is--as you know--the clever old actress who looks after charity, won't let you marry her, seeing that you have no money. lady euphemia is equally opposed to the match, because charity is not born, as the french say. if you marry against the wishes of these two mrs. pelham odin won't leave charity her savings, which must be considerable, and lady euphemia won't speak either to you or to your wife. isn't this the case?"

"ancient history--ancient history," roared macandrew, like an angry bull, "but your advice, jerry?"

"chuck charity and marry your cousin," said haskins tersely.

"i won't."

"then why waste my time in asking for advice which you have no notion of taking? go on your own silly way, tod, and don't blame me if you tumble into a quagmire of troubles."

"i believe you want to marry charity yourself," shouted tod angrily.

"no i don't," cried haskins, feeling if his garments were dry. "she is all that one can desire in the way of beauty: but i want something more than a picture-wife. marriages are made in heaven, and charity's soul does not respond to mine."

tod rose sulkily and dressed himself. when clothed again he took up the discarded rod to try his luck. "i love her," he boomed, and cast his fly with the air of a man who has brought forward an unanswerable argument. perhaps he had, for macandrew was as obstinate as a battery-mule.

seeing that tod's attention was taken up with a peaceful sport which precluded retaliation for the late ducking, gerald made his trousers and shirt into a ball, and flung them deftly across the river. they hit tod fairly, and made him stagger and swear. what he would have said or done, it is impossible to say, for at this moment he proclaimed with a triumphant yell that he had a bite. and at this moment gerald slipped into the water again. "hang it, don't," screamed macandrew, "you'll frighten the fish off the hook. woosh! come up!" and tod tugged hard while the rod bent to an arc. "mighty big fish," breathed the angler.

"don't believe it's a fish at all," spluttered haskins, seeing that the line remained stationary, "you're making no play. caught a weed maybe."

he swam to the line, and dived under, while macandrew danced and swore on the bank. "leave it alone, leave it alone," cried tod, in high wrath, "it's a big fish. oh, beast; oh, animal: oh, jealous reptile," he went on as the line slackened, "you've done it."

even as he spoke gerald rose to the surface, spitting water from his mouth. in his right hand he held an object which he flung on to the bank, and then crawled up himself. "there's your fish, tod," he said, rolling on the grass to dry himself, "your hook caught in that cylinder, which had got wedged between two big stones. look at it while i dress."

tod handled the cylinder gingerly. it was made of tin, and had apparently been covered with brown paper, for the remains of this clung loose at either end from under splotches of red sealing-wax. oddly enough, there was also a string tied to the cylinder, at the end of which dangled the remnant of a bladder. evidently the bladder had borne up the somewhat heavy cylinder for a certain time, and then had burst, to drop it toward the big stones amid which it had been wedged when tod's hook had caught it. "look's like a parcel of dynamite," said tod, in a nervous tone; "poachers fishing by night with dynamite, o lord!"

haskins, who was slipping on his socks and shoes, looked up. "it's been in the water a good time anyhow, judging from the rotten brown paper and that decayed bladder. there's no chance of an explosion. if you are afraid to open it chuck it over."

"no." macandrew dropped on to the grass beside his friend. "we'll go to kingdom come together, if necessary. lend me your knife!"

between them, the young men prized off the lid of the cylinder, with some difficulty, for it fitted tightly. the contents proved to be as puzzling as the vessel itself, for gerald drew out a moderately long roller covered with brown wax, and scored delicately with regular lines, almost invisible. there was nothing else in the cylinder but this roller, and tod eyed it with wonderment. "what the deuce is it?" he asked, twirling it round.

haskins pinched his nether lip and reflected. "it's a phonograph record," he ventured to suggest, "see the marking, tod, and the wax, and here," he tilted the cylinder end uppermost, "there's a name engraved on the butt, plainly, for all the world to see."

"jekle & co.," read tod, fitting in his eye-glass to see clearly. "h'm! i never heard of the firm."

"that's not improbable: your knowledge of many things being limited."

"oh, come now. did you ever hear of the firm your own conceited self?"

"no. but it's a firm that makes phonographs anyhow." gerald slipped the treasure trove into his pocket. "we'll take this back to the inn, and see what it means."

"we shall have to get a phonograph then."

"that goes without the speaking, you bally ass. but when we do slip this roller into its parent machine these marks will talk."

"but how can we get a parent machine? i suppose you mean a jekle & co. mechanism of sorts."

"there must be a machine of that sort in the district, or this roller wouldn't be here."

tod stared at the waters blinking in the sunshine. "i wonder how it got into the blessed river. by accident or by design?"

"by design assuredly," said haskins promptly. "it was wrapped in brown paper and sealed at both ends. the bladder was attached to keep it afloat. then the bladder went bang and the cylinder sank until you fished it out, toddy."

"queer fish and queer chance, anyhow."

"there is no such thing as chance," said haskins slowly; "some cause we know not of, brought us to the stream to-day to get the cylinder."

"why, we only came holiday-making," protested tod; "you are always talking this infernal psychology."

"supernal psychology, you mean," retorted the other, "seeing that i follow white magic and not black. this," he patted his pocket, "has a meaning. we must learn that meaning."

"and so get into trouble."

"perhaps." haskins shrugged his shoulders. "but trouble is the sole thing which urges us to rise."

tod groaned. he could not understand his friend's mystical way of looking at the seen world through the unseen. keeping the conversation on an ordinary level he inquired: "why was the cylinder set afloat?"

"why does the sun shine? why does the fire burn? you ask too many questions, tod."

"i am not likely to get an answer from you," snapped macandrew, taking up the impedimenta which they had brought to the river bank.

"you will in this instance, my son. the record, when it talks through the jekle & co. machine, will tell us why the cylinder was sent downstream. shipwrecked people throw bottles overboard with documents to tell of their danger, as you well know."

"h'm! it's the first time i ever heard of a phonograph record being used to convey news," grunted tod crossly.

"the person who floated the cylinder is evidently up-to-date."

"perhaps it's a blessed joke."

"maybe. anyhow, i'll take it to the inn, and learn as much as is possible. don't chatter about it though."

"why not?"

"because--because----" haskins hesitated, not being able to express himself with his usual decision. "i can't say. anyhow, hold your tongue until we know what the record has to say."

macandrew nodded, and the two walked homeward.

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