mrs. halliburton struggled on. a struggle, my reader, that it is to be hoped, for your comfort's sake, you have never experienced, and never will. she had learnt the stitch for the back of the gloves, and mr. lynn supplied her with a machine and with work. but she could not do it quickly as yet; though it was a hopeful day for her when she found that her weekly earnings amounted to six shillings.
mrs. reece paid her twenty shillings a week. or rather, dobbs: for dobbs was paymaster-general. of that, jane could use (she had made a close calculation) six shillings, putting by fourteen for rent and taxes. her taxes were very light, part of them being paid by the landlord, as was the custom with some houses in helstonleigh. but for this, the rent would have been less. sorely tempted as she was, by hunger, by cold, almost by starvation, jane was resolute in leaving the fourteen shillings intact. she had suffered too much from non-payment of the last rent, not to be prepared with the next. but—the endurance and deprivation!—how great they were! and she suffered far more for her children than for herself.
one night, towards the middle of february, she felt very downhearted: almost as if she could not struggle on much longer. with her own earnings and the six shillings taken from mrs. reece's money she could count little more than twelve shillings weekly, and everything had to be found out of it. coals, candles, washing—that is, the soap, firing, etc., necessary for miss betsy carter to do it with; the boys' shoe-mending and other trifles, besides food. you will not, therefore, be surprised to hear that on this night they had literally nothing in the house but part of a loaf of bread. jane was resolute in one thing—not to go into debt. mrs. buffle would have given credit, probably other shops also; but jane believed that her sole chance of surmounting the struggle eventually was by keeping debt, even trifling debt, away. they had this morning eaten bread for breakfast; they had eaten potatoes and salt for dinner; and now, tea-time, there was bread again. all jane had in her pocket was twopence, which must be kept for milk for the following morning; so they were drinking water now.
they were round the fire; two of the boys kneeling on the ground to get the better blaze, thankful they had a fire at all. their lessons were over for the day. william had been thoroughly well brought on by his father, in greek, latin, euclid, and in english generally—in short, in the branches necessary to a good education. frank and gar were forward also; indeed, frank, for his age, was a very good latin scholar. but how could they do much good or make much progress by themselves? william helped his brothers as well as he could, but it was somewhat profitless work; and jane was all too conscious that they needed to be at school. altogether, her heart was sore within her.
another thing was beginning to worry her—a fear lest her brother should not be able to send the rent. she had fully counted upon it; but, now that the time of its promised receipt was at hand, fears and doubts arose. she was dwelling on it now—now, as she sat there at her work, in the twilight of the early spring evening. if the money did not come, all she could do would be to go to mr. ashley, tell him of her ill luck, and that he must take the things at last. they must turn out, wanderers on the wide earth; no——
a plaintive cry interrupted her dream and recalled her to reality. it came from jane, who was seated on a stool, her head leaning against the side of the mantel-piece.
"she is crying, mamma," cried quick frank; and janey whispered something into frank's ear, the cry deepening into sobs.
"mamma, she's crying because she's hungry."
"janey, dear, i have nothing but bread. you know it. could you eat a bit?"
"i want something else," sobbed janey. "some meat, or some pudding. it is such a long time since we had any. i am tired of bread; i am very hungry."
there came an echoing cry from the other side of the fireplace. gar had laid his head down on the floor, and he now broke out, sobbing also.
"i am hungry too. i don't like bread any more than janey does. when shall we have something nice?"
jane gathered them to her, one in each arm, soothing them with soft caresses, her heart aching, her own sobs choked down, one single comfort present to her—that god knew what she had to bear.
almost she began to fear for her own health. would the intense anxiety, combined with the want of sufficient food, tell upon her? would her sleepless nights tell upon her? would her grief for the loss of her husband—a grief not the less keenly felt because she did not parade it—tell upon her? all that lay in the future.
she rose the next morning early to her work; she always had to rise early—the boys and jane setting the breakfast. breakfast! putting the bread upon the table and taking in the milk. for twopence they had a quart of skimmed milk, and were glad to get it. her head was heavy, her frame hot, the result of inward fever, her limbs were tired before the day began; worse than all, there was that utter weariness of mind which predisposes a sufferer from it to lie down and die. "this will never do," thought jane; "i must bear up."
a dispute between frank and gar! they were good, affectionate boys; but little tempers must break out now and then. in trying to settle it, jane burst into tears. it put an end to the fray more effectually than anything else could have done. the boys looked blank with consternation, and janey burst into hysterical sobs.
"don't, jane, don't," said the poor mother; "i am not well; but do not you cry."
"i am not well, either," sobbed janey. "it hurts me here, and here." she put her hand to her head and chest, and jane knew that she was weak from long-continued insufficiency of food. there was no remedy for it. jane only wished she could bear for them all.
some time after breakfast there came the postman's knock at the door. a thickish letter—twopence to pay. the penny postal system had come in, but letters were not so universally prepaid then as they are now.
jane glanced over it with a beating heart. yes, it was her brother's handwriting. could the promised rent have really arrived? she felt sick with agitation.
"i have no money at all, frank. ask dobbs if she will lend you twopence."
away went frank, in his quick and not very ceremonious manner, penetrating to the kitchen, where dobbs happened to be. "dobbs, will you please to lend mamma twopence? it is for a letter."
"dobbs, indeed! who's 'dobbs'?" retorted that functionary in wrath. "i am mrs. dobbs, if you please. take yourself out of my sight till you can learn manners."
"won't you lend it? the postman's waiting."
"no, i won't," returned dobbs.
back ran frank. "she won't lend it, mamma. she says i was rude to her, and called her dobbs."
"oh, frank!" but the postman was impatient, demanding whether he was to be kept there all day. jane was fain to apply to dobbs herself, and procured the loan. then she ran upstairs with the letter, and her trembling fingers broke the seal. two banknotes, for 10£. each, fell out of it. the promised loan had been sixteen pounds. the rev. francis tait had contrived to spare four pounds more.
before jane had recovered from her excitement—almost before a breath of thanks had gone up from her heart—she saw mr. ashley on the opposite side of the road, going towards helstonleigh. being in no state to weigh her actions, only conscious that the two notes lay in her hand—actual realities—she threw on her bonnet and shawl, and went across the road to mr. ashley. in her agitation, she scarcely knew what she did or said.
"oh, sir—i beg your pardon—but i have at this moment received the money for the back rent. may i give it to you now?"
mr. ashley looked at her in surprise. a scarlet spot shone on her thin cheeks—a happy excitement was spread over her face of care. he read the indications plainly—that she was an eager payer, but no willing debtor. the open letter in her hand, and the postman opposite, told the tale.
"there is no such hurry, mrs. halliburton," he said, smiling. "i cannot give you a receipt here."
"you can send it to me," she said. "i would rather pay you than mr. dare."
she held out the notes to him. he felt in his pocket whether he had sufficient change, found he had, and handed it to her. "that is it, madam—four sovereigns. thank you."
she took them hesitatingly, but did not close her hand. "was there not some expense incurred when—when that man was put in?"
"not for you to pay, mrs. halliburton," he pointedly returned. "i hope you are getting pretty well through your troubles?"
the tears came into her eyes, and she turned them away. getting pretty well through her troubles! "thank you for inquiring," she meekly said. "i shall, i believe, have the quarter's rent ready in march, when it falls due."
"do not put yourself out of the way to pay it," he replied. "if it would be more convenient to you to let it go on to the half-year, it would be the same to me."
her heart rose to the kindness. "thank you, mr. ashley, thank you very much for your consideration; but i must pay as i go on, if i possibly can."
patience stood at her gate, smiling as she recrossed the road. she had seen what had passed.
"thee hast good news, i see. but thee wert in a hurry, to pay thy rent in the road."
"my brother has sent me the rent and four pounds over. patience, i can buy bedside carpets now."
patience looked pleased. "with all thy riches thee will scarcely thank me for this poor three and sixpence," holding out the silver to her. "samuel lynn left it; it is owing thee for thy work."
jane smiled sadly as she took it. her riches! "how is anna?" she asked.
"she is nicely, thank thee, and is gone to school. but she was wilful over her lessons this morning. farewell. i am glad thee art so far out of thy perplexities."
very far, indeed; and a great relief it was. can you realize these troubles of mrs. halliburton's? not, i think, as she realized them. we pity the trials and endurance of the poor; but, believe me, they are as nothing compared with the bitter lot of reduced gentlepeople. jane had not been brought up to poverty, to scanty and hard fare, to labour, to humiliations, to the pain of debt. but for hope—and some of us know how strong that is in the human heart—and for that better hope, trust, jane never could have gone through her trials. her physical privations alone were almost too hard to bear. can you wonder that an unexpected present of four pounds seemed as a mine of wealth?
