painters represent fortune with a bandage over her eyes, by which they mean to tell us, that she distributes her gifts indiscriminately, and as chance happens to throw a happy object in her way, without paying regard to either virtue or merit. the following short history will evince the truth of the old adage, that there is a something necessary, besides merit and industry, to make a person's fortune in this capricious world.
a brave old soldier, whom i shall conceal under the borrowed name of ulysses, had acquired immortal honours in the service of his country on the field of battle. having passed the prime208 of his life in actual service, he retired to pass the evening of his days in the circle of his family, and the care of his children.
he tenderly loved his offspring, and he had the inexpressible pleasure and delight to find himself beloved by them.
as his eldest son had entered into a marriage contract by the consent of all parties, a house was taken for the young couple, and the necessary repairs and embellishments were not forgotten. one of the apartments being designed for pictures, the generous youth, without acquainting his father with his design, employed a painter to describe all the heroic actions of his sire.
this business was completed with great expedition and secrecy, and as soon as the house was properly ornamented and furnished, the young gentleman invited all his relations and particular acquaintances to partake of an elegant dinner, on his commencing housekeeping. when the veteran entered the room, where all his glorious actions were represented in the most lively colours, he could not avoid being singularly struck with the generous piety of his son. the company were at a loss which they should most admire, the heroic exploits of the father, or the exemplary conduct of the son.
the old general surveyed every picture with an air of carelessness, at which the company were not a little surprised, and could not help wondering at his composed indifference. "you acted very properly, son," said the old gentleman, "to conceal your intentions of this matter from me till you had completed it, as i otherwise should most certainly have stifled it in its birth. what you have thus done is a convincing proof of your love and affection for me; but, however sensible it may make me of your attachments to me, yet it does not much flatter my vanity.
"few pieces of biography are correct on their first appearance in the world, where the parties meant to be handed down to posterity have not been previously consulted. the most particular event, from the want of proper information, is frequently omitted. such is the case, my son, in the present instance. there is one circumstance in my life which ought to have been recorded, since to that action alone i owe all my fortune, and my promotion in the army." however, as dinner was then serving up, the conversation was dropped, and the company very soon began to have something else to think of.
the next day, however, being at dinner with his children and a small party of friends, his son requested him to inform him what was that heroic act he had forgotten in his penciled history. the general replied, he had no objections to do so, but observed, that it would be necessary to go into the room where the pictures were hanging.
as soon as they had entered the room, the general began his observations on the paintings. "i suppose son," said he, "you have terminated the first line with that in which his majesty is supposed to have made me a lieutenant-general. in this, indeed, you have made a very capital error, as you have here brought together events that happened at different periods. but i would wish to know, whether the military honours i have received, were in consequence of the actions represented in this picture, or on account of what is represented in the whole."
the young gentleman replied, without the least hesitation, that the honours he had received were in consequence of all his services, and not of any single one.
"you are very much mistaken," said the general, "for it was in consequence only of one action in my life, that i enjoy my present honours; and this action you have not recorded."
the young gentleman was very much surprised to think that he should forget the principal occurrence of his father's life, and that too from which alone he was raised in the army. he censured his own want of memory, and was the more angry with himself, as he could not even then recollect it.
"do not make yourself uneasy," said the general to his son, "for it is not possible that you could paint an action you never knew any thing of. it is a transaction which i have never yet related to any one; but i shall now give you the particulars.
"during the very early part of my life as a soldier, i lost my left leg, and received so dangerous a wound in my head, that my life was for some time despaired of, nor did i perfectly recover of it till after sixteen months had elapsed. i lost my three youngest sons on the field of battle, where they bled in the service of their king and country.
"notwithstanding all these services, i enjoyed no higher rank than that of a major for nearly thirty years, while in that battle, in which i lost my limb, my general fled, in order to preserve his precious life from danger, and was rewarded with a title and a pension. but he was the nephew of a favourite at court, who took care to represent him to his sovereign and the nation, as having on the day of battle exposed himself to the most imminent dangers. it may easily be supposed, that my affections for my family, and my wishes to do well for them, induced me to hope for preferment. numbers were, like me, seeking for promotion; but i could not, like the generality of them, stoop to their means to obtain it; and if they had not more merit than myself, at least they had better fortune. tired out with expectations that met with nothing but disappointments, i took the resolution to hang about the court no longer in expectancy, but to retire into the country, and there spend the remainder of my days in private. however, fortune at length smiled on me, and, when i least expected it, led me into the path of fame and preferment. of this circumstance not the least notice is taken in your paintings!"
the young gentleman appeared very much astonished, and could not guess what this circumstance could be, which he had omitted in his pictures, since he apprehended that he was well acquainted with all the material occurrences in the life of his father. "i know not, sir," said his son, "what this circumstance can be that i have omitted. perhaps it may be something which the pencil of the artist cannot express. i must confess, that i long much to know what this occurrence can be."
"nothing can be more easy," replied the general, "than to represent this scene on canvass: a beautiful river, ladies weeping on the borders of it, and i on horseback in the liquid stream, holding a little lap-dog in a half-drowned condition. surely this could not be a very difficult scene for an able pencil to represent, and could give but little trouble to the painter!"
the young gentleman could hardly think his father serious, and could not comprehend how such a scene as this could be considered as one of the general's most glorious military exploits, by which he had gained his promotion as a soldier. he, therefore, begged he would be pleased to explain himself more fully.
"trifling as you may think this exploit," replied the veteran, "i owe to it my present promotion, which the loss of a limb in the field of battle could not procure me. i will give you the history of this strange affair in as few words as possible.
"as i was one morning riding on horseback, for the benefit of the air, as well as for the advantage of exercise, on the beautiful banks of the thames, near richmond, a coach passed me.—curiosity induced me to look into it, when i discovered the mistress of the minister; who appeared to me as a pretty doll, agreeable to behold, but from whom you must expect neither sense nor reason, and but a very small share of modesty, that first accomplishment of the fair sex. though she knew me perfectly well, she condescended only to give me a nod, and having driven to some distance before me, she got out of her carriage to walk with her companions on the banks of the river.
"in order to avoid giving her the trouble of taking notice of me again, i turned into a lane; but hardly had i entered it, when i heard a cry of distress from the same women. i doubted not but some misfortune had happened to them, and i, therefore, galloped towards them. as soon as i got to them, the pretty doll cried out, 'help, help, dear major! my dear sweet chloe has fallen into the water, and is unable to get out!—the poor dear will be drowned, and i shall die with grief. save him, major, save him, i beg of you.'
"though i cared as little for the mistress as for the animal, yet compassion urged me to put spurs to my horse, and get into the river. i happened to get hold of the ugly cur, and brought him in safety to his mistress. i know not whether the scene which followed excited most pity or contempt, since the most affectionate mother could not have shown more joy on the recovery of her child. the idle and ridiculous congratulations from the company, and their eager endeavours who should be first to caress the ugly animal, exceeds all description. every mouth was open, and every tongue was in motion, each endeavouring to be most noticed by the doll of fashion.
"as i apprehended my company was no longer wanted, i was about taking my leave, when the little dog's mistress pressed me so warmly to stay, that i alighted from my horse, and she took me by the arm. as we sauntered along, at a little distance behind the company, and out of their reach of hearing, she told me, she had been215 informed, some time before, what rank i had been soliciting for. 'if i forget this service,' said she, 'and if the minister is not from this day your warmest advocate,—then major—o my poor dear chloe!—you shall see—yes, that you shall.'
"i made her a bow without saying any thing; for i was too proud to wish to owe my preferment to such a woman, and to such paltry services.—however, the very next day, i was sent for to the minister's levee, when he drew me aside, and told me, that the king had recollected both my name and my services, and that he himself had represented the justice there would be in my promotion. in short, in less than a month from that day, i was promoted to the rank of a lieutenant-general. thus, by saving the life of a little ugly animal, did i obtain more than all my services in the field could procure me."
