it had been snowing hard for twenty-four hours at dead man’s gulch. beginning with a few feathery particles, they had steadily increased in number until the biting air was filled with billions of snowflakes, which whirled and eddied in the gale that howled through the gorges and cañons of the sierras. it was still snowing with no sign of cessation, and the blizzard blanketed the earth to the depth of several feet, filling up the treacherous hollows, caverns and abysses and making travel almost impossible for man or animal.
the shanties of the miners in dead man’s gulch were just eleven in number. they were strung along the eastern side of the gorge and at an altitude of two or three hundred feet from the bed of the pass or cañon. the site protruded in the form of a table-land, offering a secure foundation for the structures, which were thus elevated sufficiently to be beyond reach of the terrific torrents that sometimes rushed through the ravine during 2 the melting of the snow in the spring, or after one of those fierce cloud-bursts that give scarcely a minute’s warning of their coming.
the diggings were in the mountain side at varying distances. the success in mining had been only moderate, although several promising finds raised hopes. the population numbered precisely thirty men, representing all quarters of the union, while five came from europe. the majority were shaggy, bronzed adventurers, the variety being almost as great as the numbers. some had been clerks, several were college graduates, a number were the sons of wealthy parents, and one was a full-fledged parson, while there was a certain percentage who had left their homes to escape the grip of the offended law.
with that yearning for picturesqueness which is a peculiar trait of americans, the miners felt that when their settlement had attained the dignity of nearly a dozen dwellings, it was entitled to an appropriate name. the gorge, which seemed to have been gouged out of the solid mass of boulders and rocks, when the mountains were split apart in the remote past, was known from the first by the title already given, which also clung to the diggings themselves.
the single saloon presided over by max ortigies, was the heavenly bower,––so that point was settled, but when it came to naming the settlement itself, the 3 difficulties were so numerous that days and weeks passed without an agreement being reached. no matter how striking and expressive the title offered by one man, the majority promptly protested. it was too sulphurous, or too insipid or it lacked in that nebulous characteristic which may be defined as true americanism. it looked as if the problem would never be solved, when landlord ortigies, taking the bull by the horns, appointed a committee of three to select a name, the others pledging themselves to accept whatever the committee submitted.
but the mischief was to pay when on the night of the blizzard the committee met at the heavenly bower to make their report. the chairman insisted upon “e pluribus unum,” the second member’s favorite was “murderer’s holler,” while the third would not listen to anything except “wolf eye,” and each was immovably set in his convictions.
budge isham was not a member of the committee, but he was known as a college graduate. from his seat on an overturned box at the rear of the room, where he was smoking a pipe, he asked troublesome questions and succeeded in arraying the committeemen so fiercely against one another that each was eager to vote, in the event of failing to carry his own point, in favor of any name objectionable to the rest.
the chairman as stated favored the patriotic name “e pluribus unum,” and boldly announced the fact.
4
“it has a lofty sound,” blandly remarked isham; “will the chairman be good enough to translate it for us? in other words, what does ‘e pluribus unum’ mean?”
“why,” replied the chairman with scorn in his manner; “everybody oughter know it means, ‘hurrah for the red, white and blue.’”
“thank you,” returned isham, puffing at his pipe.
vose adams, the second committeeman, felt it his duty to explain his position.
“the trouble with that outlandish name is in the fust place that it has three words and consequently it’s too much to manage. whoever heard of a town with three handles to its name? then it’s foreign. when i was in college (several disrespectful sniffs which caused the speaker to stop and glare around in quest of the offenders); i say when i was in college and studying greek and chinese and russian, i larned that that name was made up of all three of them languages. i b’leve in america for the americans, and if we can’t find a name that’s in the american language, why let’s wait till we can.”
this sentiment was delivered with such dramatic force that several of the miners nodded their heads in approval. it was an appeal to the patriotic side of their nature––which was quick to respond.
“mr. chairman,” said budge isham, addressing the 5 landlord, who, by general consent, was the presiding officer at these disputations, and who like the others failed to see the quiet amusement the educated man was extracting, “if it is agreeable to mr. adams, to whose eloquent speech we have listened with much edification, i would like him to give us his reasons for calling our handsome town ‘murderers’ hollow.’”
the gentleman appealed to rose to his feet. turning toward the man who had called upon him, he gave him a look which ought to have made him sink to the floor with mortification, preliminary to saying with polished irony:
“if the gentleman had paid attention as he oughter, he would have obsarved that i said ‘murderer’s holler,’ not ‘murderers’ hollow.’ i would advise him not to forget that he ain’t the only man in this place that has received a college eddycation. now as to the name: it proclaims our stern virtue and love for law.”
the orator paused, but the wondering expression of the bronzed faces turned toward him showed that he would have to descend to particulars.
“when violators of the law hear that name, what does it say to them? it says that if any murderer shows his face in this place, he will receive such rough handling that he will have to holler ‘enough,’ and will be glad to get out––i don’t see what there is to laugh at!” exclaimed vose angrily, looking threateningly around 6 again with his fists clenched and his gaze fixed specially upon the grinning budge isham.
“there’s some sense in what vose says, which ain’t often the case,” remarked ike hoe, the other member of the committee, “but the trouble will be that when folks hear of the name, they won’t think to give it the meanin’ that he gives it. they’ll conclude that this place is the home of murderers, and, if it keeps on, bime by of hoss thieves. if it warn’t for that danger, i might go in for backing up vose with his name, but as it stands it won’t do.”
the argument of ike had produced its effect. there was little sympathy in the first place for the title, and that little was destroyed by the words of ike, who proceeded to plead for his own choice.
“now as to ‘wolf eye.’ in the first place, it is short and easy to say. there ain’t any slur in the name, that might offend a new comer, who would think the ‘murderer’s holler’ contained ungentlemanly allusions to his past. it is warning, too, that the place has got an eye on everybody and has teeth as sharp as a wolf. then there is poetry in the name. gentlemen,” added ike in a burst of enthusiasm, “we oughter go in for poetry. how can any one live in such a glorious country as this with the towering kenyons around him, with the mountains thousands of feet deep, with the grand sun kissin’ the western tips in the morning and sinking 7 to rest at night in the east,––with the snow storms in summer and the blazing heat in winter––with the glo–––”
“hold on! hold on!” called budge isham, rising solemnly to his feet, with hands uplifted in protest; “if ike doesn’t stop, he’ll have us all standing on our heads. there’s a brand of liquor down in sacramento called ‘wolf eye;’ i don’t make any charges, gentlemen, against my friend ike, but you can draw your inferences. wolf eye won’t do.”
a general laugh greeted this sally, seeing which the indignant ike turned the tables upon budge with an admirable piece of sarcasm.
“seeing as how all of us together don’t know ’nough to git up a name that will suit, i move that the college eddycated gentleman supplies the brains and does it himself.”
the crushing irony of this remark was spoiled by budge accepting it in all seriousness. he bowed his head and gracefully thanked the satirical vose.
“i shall be very glad to do so. the committee meant well enough, but the trouble was that there were too many fools on it–––”
at this point wade ruggles sprang to his feet, with the fierce question:
“does the gentleman refer to me?”
his hand was at his hip on the butt of his revolver 8 and matters looked squally, but the tactful budge quelled the rising storm with chesterfieldian grace. waving his hand and bowing, he said:
“i did not intend the remotest reference to you.”
vose adams came up promptly.
“then it’s me and i’m ready to make any man eat his words.”
“my good friend is mistaken; nothing could induce me to apply such a term to him; i hold him in too high esteem.”
since this left ike hoe as the only remaining member, he began to show signs of explosion, perceiving which the incomprehensible budge proceeded to mollify him.
“and ike knows that i would be the last person in the world to slur a gentleman from whom i as well as the others have received so much instruction.”
ike was mystified. he looked at the other members of the committee and then into the faces of the group. he couldn’t make it out.
“if it’s all the same, mr. chairman, since the gentleman has said there was too many fools on the committee, and has just explained that he didn’t mean any one of us three, i’ll be obliged if he’ll explain who in thunder he did mean.”
this sounded unanswerable, but the cunning budge was equal to the occasion.
9
“it gives me pleasure to answer the question of the gentleman: my remark was made in a pickwickian sense.”
he leaned forward with a beaming smile, as if his explanation left nothing to be added. no one understood to what he referred, but all were too proud to admit the fact. there was a general nodding of heads, and ike, with the manner of a man who magnanimously accepts the humble apology of him whom he has worsted, leaned back on his stool and audibly remarked:
“that makes it all right.”
budge isham resumed his seat, when he was reminded that he was expected to submit a name for the new settlement.
“i beg pardon,” he said, rising again, “it is a fact known to this highly intelligent assemblage, that every city of prominence in europe has from one to forty namesakes in this country. there is one exception, however; doubtless all know to what city i refer.”
in response to his inquiring looks, the group tried to appear as if the name was familiar to them, but no one spoke.
“it is hardly necessary for me to mention the city, but i may say it is constantinople.”
a contemptuous sniff greeted this proposal.
“that’s the worst yet,” said wade ruggles, drawing a match along the thigh of his trousers to relight 10 his pipe, which had gone out during the excitement; “the man that insults this party with such a proposition, ought to be run out of the place.”
“what’s the matter with it?” demanded budge.
“it’s too long in the fust place,” commented ike hoe; “it bothers a man to git his mouth around it and it hain’t any music, like the other names such as starvation kenyon, hangman’s noose, blizzard gorge and the rest. i stick to mine as the purtiest of all.”
“what’s that?”
“‘blazes,’ short and sweet and innercent like.”
landlord ortigies was leaning with both elbows on the bar. the new name struck him favorably.
“i’m inclined to agree with budge,” he said, “cause there hain’t any other place that’s hit onto it. all of them names that you chaps have tried to spring onto us, have been used in other places, or at least some part of the names, but, as budge has observed, no galoot has scooped ‘constantinople.’”
“’cause no one ain’t fool enough,” observed ike hoe, who noted the drift of the sentiment.
“but they’ll pounce onto it powerful quick if we don’t grab it while it’s passin’; it’s a good long name, and what if it does make a chap sling the muscles of his jaw to warble it? all the better; it’ll make him think well of his town, which i prophesy is going to be the emporium of the west.”
11
“let’s see,” growled wade ruggles, “constantinople is in ireland isn’t it?”
“where’s your eddycation?” sneered ike vose; “it’s the oldest town in wales.”
landlord ortigies raised his head and filled the room with his genial laughter.
“if there was anything i was strong on when i led my class at the squankum high school it was astronermy; i was never catched in locating places.”
“if you know so much,” remarked ruggles, “you’ll let us know something ’bout that town which i scorn to name.”
“i’m allers ready to enlighten ign’rance, though i’ve never visited constantinople, which stands on the top of the himalaya mountains, in the southern part of iceland.”
“that’s very good,” said budge isham, who with his usual tact maneuvered to keep the ally he had gained, “but the constantinople i have in mind is in turkey, which is such a goodly sized country that it straddles from europe to asia.”
“which the same i suppose means to imply that this ere constantinople will do likewise similar.”
“no doubt that’s what it’ll do in time,” assented the landlord.
“i beg to offer an amendment to my own motion,” continued the oily budge; “when the boom strikes this 12 town, as it is bound soon to do, and it rivals in size the famous city on the other side of the atlantic, there should be something to distinguish the two. we have no wish to rob any other place of the honors it has taken centuries to gain; so, while we reserve the principal name, i propose that we distinguish it from the old city by prefixing the word ‘new.’”
“you mean that this town shall be ‘new constantinople?’” was the inquiring remark of the landlord.
“precisely; and i now make the motion that that be our name.”
there were seventeen persons present and it looked as if a decision was inevitable. the landlord was shrewd. his first act was to invite all to drink at his expense, after which he made each pledge himself to abide by the decision, whatever it might be. these preliminaries being arranged, a show of hands was called for. the vote was eight for and eight against the new name.
“that’s a tie,” commented the landlord from behind his immense beard; “and therefore the question ain’t settled.”
“it’s easy ’nough to settle it,” said ike hoe.
“how?”
“take another vote.”
“i don’t see how that’ll do it, onless some one 13 changes his mind; but again, gentlemen: all who favor the new name, raise their right hands.”
eight horny palms were elevated in air, while the same number were displayed in the negative. the landlord looked troubled.
“we must keep it up till some one weakens,” observed wade ruggles.
the host scanned the earnest faces in front of him.
“which of you gentlemen will promise to weaken if we keep this thing up for half the night?”
“i’ll stay here a week,” was the reply of vose adams, while the general nodding of heads showed that he echoed the sentiments of the others. the landlord met the crisis with becoming dignity.
“gentlemen, when i was a member of congress, all questions that was tied was settled by the presiding officer casting the deciding vote, and which as aforesaid we don’t lay any claim to being higher than congress, i therefore, by virtue of the aforesaid right vested in me, cast my vote in favor of this city being called new constantinople, which the same is on me again; gentlemen, what will you have?”
it was a coup d’etat, the victory being clinched before the opposition realized it. ere the company had fairly recovered from their bewilderment, budge isham declared that the victory was really his, due to the good sense and high toned chivalry of his friends, and he insisted 14 upon doing the honors. he would accept no denial and the engaging style in which he acquitted himself of this duty restored good humor. thus it was that the little mining town of the sierras in the days that are gone received its title.
the heavenly bower consisted of two large apartments, both on the ground floor. the one at the rear was used by landlord ortigies for sleeping, eating and partial storage purposes. when vose adams made his quarterly visits to sacramento, he was accompanied by two mules. they were not necessary to take and bring the mail, since the pocket of adams’ great coat was sufficient for that, but they carried down to sacramento several empty casks which came back filled, or rather they were thus when the return journey was begun, but to the dismay of the proprietor of the heavenly bower, he found that they were barely two-thirds full, when unloaded at his place. vose explained that the leakage was due to the roughness of the trail. since there seemed no other way of overcoming this, the landlord sent an extra cask with the request to vose that he would confine his leakage to that and vose kindly obliged him.
the stuff thus provided for the heavenly bower was generally in concentrated form, thereby permitting a dilution which insured a full supply for the customers who were afflicted with an eternal thirst.
15
the bar room was of extensive proportions. nearly all of one side was occupied by the bar. opposite was the huge fireplace, and scattered around were a number of stools, rickety chairs and strong boxes which served equally well for seats.
the crackling fire, the genial warmth and good cheer within the room were the more striking because of their contrast with the howling storm without. the gale roared around the corners of the rude but strong structure, rattling against the massive door and the log walls, spitting vicious gusts down the chimney and flinging great drifts hither and yon with a fury that threatened to send the building skurrying through the snowy space.
“it’s the worst blizzard we ever had,” remarked wade ruggles, after one of these violent outbursts; “god pity any one that’s abroad to-night.”
“it reminds me of that zephyr last winter,” observed vose adams, “when i was bringing your freight, max, from sacramento.”
“i remember,” nodded the landlord; “you started with two kegs and got here with about half a one; the leakage was tremenjus on that trip.”
“true; the blizzards is always rough on mountain dew, and sorter makes it shrink,” replied the unblushing vose.
“can’t you stop the casks leaking so much,” inquired 16 felix brush, who had been a parson in missouri, and claimed that he had never been “unfrocked.”
the landlord solemnly swayed his head.
“not as long as vose has charge of the freight–––”
at that instant a dull but resounding thump was heard on the roof overhead. it shook every log in the structure, checked speech and caused each man to look wonderingly at his neighbor.
“the mountain has fell on us!” exclaimed ike hoe in a husky whisper.
“if it was the mountain,” said budge isham, slightly raising his voice, as the courage of the party came back; “none of us would be able to tell of it.”
“then it’s a rock––well, i’m blessed! the thing is moving!”
something was certainly astir in the mass of snow overhead.
“i guess it’s a angel that has lost its way,” submitted hoe.
“more likely it’s a grizzly b’ar that’s stumbled off the rocks––”
but all these speculations were scattered to the winds by the sound of a voice muffled and seemingly far away, which came to them through the storm:
“helloa, the house!”
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