we resolve to run away--scruples--baby cecil --i prepare--i run away.
i think it was fred's telling me tales of the navy captain's boyhood which put it into our heads that the only way for people at our age, and in our position, to begin a life of adventure is to run away.
the captain had run away. he ran away from school. but then the school was one which it made your hair stand on end to hear of. the master must have been a monster of tyranny, the boys little prodigies of wickedness and misery, and the food such as would have been rejected by respectably reared pigs.
it put his grandson and me at a disadvantage that we had no excuses of the kind for running away from the grammar school. dr. jessop was a little pompous, but he was sometimes positively kind. there was not even a cruel usher. i was no dunce, nor was fred-though he was below me in class--so that we had not even a grievance in connection with [65] our lessons. this made me feel as if there would be something mean and almost dishonourable in running away from school. "i think it would not be fair to the doctor," said i; "it would look as if he had driven us to it, and he hasn't. we had better wait till the holidays."
fred seemed more willing to wait than i had expected; but he planned what we were to do when we did go as vigorously as ever.
it was not without qualms that i thought of running away from home. my mother would certainly be greatly alarmed; but then she was greatly alarmed by so many things to which she afterwards became reconciled! my conscience reproached me more about rupert and henrietta. not one of us had longed for "events" and exploits so earnestly as my sister; and who but rupert had prepared me for emergencies, not perhaps such as the captain had had to cope with, but of the kinds recognized by the yellow leather book? we had been very happy together—rupert, henrietta, baby cecil, and i—and we had felt in common the one defect of our lives that there were no events in them; and now i was going to begin a life of adventure, to run away and seek my fortune, without even telling them what i was going to do.
on the other hand, that old mean twinge of [66]jealousy was one of my strongest impulses to adventure-seeking, and it urged me to perform my exploits alone. some people seem to like dangers and adventures whilst the dangers are going on; henrietta always seemed to think that the pleasantest part; but i confess that i think one of the best parts must be when they are over and you are enjoying the credit of them. when the captain's adventures stirred me most i looked forward with a thrill of anticipation to my return home—modest from a justifiable pride in my achievements, and so covered with renown by my deeds of daring that i should play second fiddle in the family no more, and that rupert and henrietta would outbid each other for my "particular" friendship, and baby cecil dog my heels to hear the stories of my adventures.
the thought of baby cecil was the heaviest pang i felt when i was dissatisfied with the idea of running away from home. baby cecil was the pet of the house. he had been born after my father's death, and from the day he was born everybody conspired to make much of him. dandy, the scotch terrier, would renounce a romping ramble with us to keep watch over baby cecil when he was really a baby, and was only carried for a dull airing in the nursemaid's arms. i can quite understand dandy's feelings; for if when one was just preparing for a paper[67]chase, or anything of that sort, baby cecil trotted up and, flinging himself head first into one's arms, after his usual fashion, cried, "baby cecil 'ants charlie to tell him a long, long story—so much!" it always ended in one's giving up the race or the scramble, and devoting one's self as sedately as dandy to his service. but i consoled myself with the thought of how baby cecil would delight in me, and what stories i should be able to tell him on my return.
the worst of running away now-a-days is that railways and telegrams run faster. i was prepared for any emergency except that of being found and brought home again.
thinking of this brought to my mind one of fred's tales of the captain, about how he was pursued by bloodhounds and escaped by getting into water. water not only retains no scent, it keeps no track. i think perhaps this is one reason why boys so often go to sea when they run away, that no one may be able to follow them. it helped my decision that we would go to sea when we ran away, fred and i. besides, there was no other road to strange countries, and no other way of seeing the sea people with the sou'-wester heads.
fred did not seem to have any scruples about leaving his home, which made me feel how much braver he must be than i. but his head was so full [68]of the plans he made for us, and the lists he drew up of natural products of the earth in various places on which we could live without paying for our living, that he neglected his school-work, and got into scrapes about it. this distressed me very much, for i was working my very best that half on purpose that no one might say that we ran away from our lessons, but that it might be understood that we had gone solely in search of adventure, like sea-captains or any other grown-up travellers.
all fred's tales now began with the word "suppose." they were not stories of what had happened to his grandfather, but of what might happen to us. the half-holiday that mr. johnson's hay was carted we sat behind the farthest haycock all the afternoon with an old atlas on our knees, and fred "supposed" till my brain whirled to think of all that was coming on us. "suppose we get on board a vessel bound for singapore, and hide behind some old casks—" he would say, coasting strange continents with his stumpy little forefinger, as recklessly as the captain himself; on which of course i asked, "what is singapore like?" which enabled fred to close the atlas and lie back among the hay and say whatever he could think of and i could believe.
meanwhile we saved up our pocket-money and put it in a canvas bag, as being sailor-like. most of [69]the money was fred's, but he was very generous about this, and said i was to take care of it as i was more managing than he. and we practised tree-climbing to be ready for the masts, and ate earth-nuts to learn to live upon roots in case we were thrown upon a desert island. of course we did not give up our proper meals, as we were not obliged to yet, and i sometimes felt rather doubtful about how we should feel living upon nothing but roots for breakfast, dinner, and tea. however, i had observed that whenever the captain was wrecked a barrel of biscuits went ashore soon afterwards, and i hoped it might always be so in wrecks, for biscuits go a long way, especially sailors' biscuits, which are large.
i made a kind of handbook for adventure-seekers, too, in an old exercise book, showing what might be expected and should be prepared for in a career like the captain's. i divided it under certain heads: hardships, dangers, emergencies, wonders, &c. these were subdivided again thus: hardships—i, hunger; 2, thirst; 3, cold; 4, heat; 5, no clothes; and so forth. i got all my information from fred, and i read my lists over and over again to get used to the ideas, and to feel brave. and on the last page i printed in red ink the word "glory."
and so the half went by and came to an end; and when the old doctor gave me my three prizes, and [70]spoke of what he hoped i would do next half, my blushes were not solely from modest pride.
the first step of our runaway travels had been decided upon long ago. we were to go by barge to london. "and from london you can go anywhere," fred said.
the day after the holidays began i saw a canal-boat lading at the wharf, and finding she was bound for london i told fred of it. but he said we had better wait for a barge, and that there would be one on thursday. "or if you don't think you can be ready by then, we can wait for the next," he added. he seemed quite willing to wait, but (remembering that the captain's preparations for his longest voyage had only taken him eighteen and a half minutes by the chronometer, which was afterwards damaged in the diving-bell accident, and which i had seen with my own eyes, in confirmation of the story) i said i should be ready any time at half-an-hour's notice, and thursday was fixed as the day of our departure.
to facilitate matters it was decided that fred should invite me to spend wednesday with him, and to stay all night, for the barge was to start at half-past six o'clock on thursday morning.
i was very busy on wednesday. i wrote a letter to my mother in which i hoped i made it quite clear that ambition and not discontent was leading me to [71]run away. i also made a will, dividing my things fairly between rupert, henrietta, and baby cecil, in case i should be drowned at sea. my knife, my prayer-book, the ball of string belonging to my kite, and my little tool-box i took away with me. i also took the match-box from the writing-table, but i told mother of it in the letter. the captain used to light his fires by rubbing sticks together, but i had tried it, and thought matches would be much better, at any rate to begin with.
rupert was lying under the crab-tree, and henrietta was reading to him, when i went away. rupert was getting much stronger; he could walk with a stick, and was going back to school next half. i felt a very unreasonable vexation because they seemed quite cheerful. but as i was leaving the garden to go over the fields, baby cecil came running after me, with his wooden spade in one hand and a plant of chick weed in the other, crying: "charlie, dear! come and tell baby cecil a story." i kissed him, and tied his hat on, which had come off as he ran.
"not now, baby," i said; "i am going out now, and you are gardening."
"i don't want to garden," he pleaded. "where are you going? take me with you."
"i am going to fred johnson's," i said bravely.
baby cecil was a very good child, though he was [72]so much petted. he gave a sigh of disappointment, but only said very gravely, "will you promise, onyer-onner, to tell me one when you come back?"
"i promise to tell you lots when i come back, on my honour," was my answer.
i had to skirt the garden-hedge for a yard or two before turning off across the meadow. in a few minutes i heard a voice on the other side. baby cecil had run down the inside, and was poking his face through a hole, and kissing both hands to me. there came into my head a wonder whether his face would be much changed next time i saw it. i little guessed when and how that would be. but when he cried, "come back very soon, charlie dear," my imperfect valour utterly gave way, and hanging my head i ran, with hot tears pouring over my face, all the way to johnson's wharf.
when fred saw my face he offered to give up the idea if i felt faint-hearted about it. nothing that he could have said would have dried my tears so soon. every spark of pride in me blazed up to reject the thought of turning craven now. besides, i longed for a life of adventure most sincerely; and i was soon quite happy again in the excitement of being so near to what i had longed for.
