though nothing can bring back the hour

of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

we will grieve not, rather find

strength in what remains behind,

in the primal sympathy

which, having been, must ever be.

and, o ye fountains, meadows, hills, and groves,

think not of any severing of our loves!

yet in my heart of hearts i feel your might;

thanks to the human heart by which we live,

thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears:

to me the meanest flower that blows can give

thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.

wordsworth.

[237]

our field

there were four of us, and three of us had godfathers and godmothers. three each. three times three make nine, and not a fairy godmother in the lot. that was what vexed us.

it was very provoking, because we knew so well what we wanted if we had one, and she had given us three wishes each. three times three make nine. we could have got all we wanted out of nine wishes, and have provided for perronet into the bargain. it would not have been any good perronet having wishes all to himself, because he was only a dog.

we never knew who it was that drowned perronet, but it was sandy who saved his life and brought him home. it was when he was coming home from school, and he brought perronet with him. perronet was not at all nice to look at when we first saw him, though we were very sorry for him. he was wet all over, and his eyes shut, and you could see his ribs, and he [238]looked quite dark and sticky. but when he dried, he dried a lovely yellow, with two black ears like velvet. people sometimes asked us what kind of dog he was, but we never knew, except that he was the nicest possible kind.

when we had got him, we were afraid we were not going to be allowed to have him. mother said we could not afford him, because of the tax and his keep. the tax was five shillings, but there wanted nearly a year to the time of paying it. of course his keep began as soon as he could eat, and that was the very same evening. we were all very miserable, because we were so fond of perronet—at least, perronet was not his name then, but he was the same person—and at last it was settled that all three of us would give up sugar, towards saving the expense of his keep, if he might stay. it was hardest for sandy, because he was particularly fond of sweet things; but then he was particularly fond of perronet. so we all gave up sugar, and perronet was allowed to remain.

about the tax, we thought we could save any pennies or half-pennies we got during the year, and it was such a long time to the time for paying, that we should be almost sure to have enough by then. we had not any money at the time, or we should have bought a savings-box; but lots of people save their money in stockings, and we settled that we would. [239]an old stocking would not do, because of the holes, and i had not many good pairs; but we took one of my winter ones to use in the summer, and then we thought we could pour the money into one of my good summer ones when the winter came.

what we most of all wanted a fairy godmother for was about our "homes." there was no kind of play we liked better than playing at houses and new homes. but no matter where we made our "home," it was sure to be disturbed. if it was indoors, and we made a palace under the big table, as soon as ever we had got it nicely divided into rooms according to where the legs came, it was certain to be dinner-time, and people put their feet into it. the nicest house we ever had was in the out-house; we had it, and kept it quite a secret, for weeks. and then the new load of wood came and covered up everything, our best oyster-shell dinner-service and all.

any one can see that it is impossible really to fancy anything when you are constantly interrupted. you can't have any fun out of a railway train stopping at stations, when they take all your carriages to pieces because the chairs are wanted for tea; any more than you can play properly at grace darling in a life-boat, when they say the old cradle is too good to be knocked about in that way.

it was always the same. if we wanted to play at [240]thames tunnel under the beds, we were not allowed; and the day we did aladdin in the store-closet, old jane came and would put away the soap, just when aladdin could not possibly have got the door of the cave open.

it was one day early in may—a very hot day for the time of year, which had made us rather cross—when sandy came in about four o'clock, smiling more broadly even than usual, and said to richard and me, "i've got a fairy godmother, and she's given us a field."

sandy was very fond of eating, especially sweet things. he used to keep back things from meals to enjoy afterwards, and he almost always had a piece of cake in his pocket. he brought a piece out now, and took a large mouthful, laughing at us with his eyes over the top of it.

"what's the good of a field?" said richard.

"splendid houses in it," said sandy.

"i'm quite tired of fancying homes," said i. "it's no good; we always get turned out."

"it's quite a new place," sandy continued; "you've never been there," and he took a triumphant bite of the cake.

"how did you get there?" asked richard.

[241]"the fairy godmother showed me," was sandy's reply.

there is such a thing as nursery honour. we respected each other's pretendings unless we were very cross, but i didn't disbelieve in his fairy godmother. i only said, "you shouldn't talk with your mouth full," to snub him for making a secret about his field.

sandy is very good-tempered. he only laughed and said, "come along. it's much cooler out now. the sun's going down."

he took us along gipsy lane. we had been there once or twice, for walks, but not very often, for there was some horrid story about it which rather frightened us. i do not know what it was, but it was a horrid one. still we had been there, and i knew it quite well. at the end of it there is a stile, by which you go into a field, and at the other end you get over another stile, and find yourself in the high road.

"if this is our field, sandy," said i, when we got to the first stile, "i'm very sorry, but it really won't do. i know that lots of people come through it. we should never be quiet here."

sandy laughed. he didn't speak, and he didn't get over the stile; he went through a gate close by it leading into a little sort of bye-lane that was all mud in winter and hard cart-ruts in summer. i had never been up it, but i had seen hay and that sort of thing go in and come [242]out of it.

he went on and we followed him. the ruts were very disagreeable to walk on, but presently he led us through a hole in the hedge, and we got into a field. it was a very bare-looking field, and went rather uphill. there was no path, but sandy walked away up it, and we went after him. there was another hedge at the top, and a stile in it. it had very rough posts, one much longer than the other, and the cross step was gone, but there were two rails, and we all climbed over. and when we got to the other side, sandy leaned against the big post and gave a wave with his right hand and said, "this is our field."

it sloped down hill, and the hedges round it were rather high, with awkward branches of blackthorn sticking out here and there without any leaves, and with the blossom lying white on the black twigs like snow. there were cowslips all over the field, but they were thicker at the lower end, which was damp. the great heat of the day was over. the sun shone still, but it shone low down and made such splendid shadows that we all walked about with grey giants at our feet; and it made the bright green of the grass, and the cowslips down below, and the top of the hedge, and sandy's hair, and everything in the sun and the mist behind the elder bush which was out of the sun, so yellow—so very yellow—that just for a minute i really believed [243]about sandy's godmother, and thought it was a story come true, and that everything was turning into gold.

but it was only for a minute; of course i know that fairy tales are not true. but it was a lovely field, and when we had put our hands to our eyes and had a good look at it, i said to sandy, "i beg your pardon, sandy, for telling you not to talk with your mouth full. it is the best field i ever heard of."

"sit down," said sandy, doing the honours; and we all sat down under the hedge.

"there are violets just behind us," he continued. "can't you smell them? but whatever you do, don't tell anybody of those, or we shan't keep our field to ourselves for a day. and look here." he had turned over on to his face, and richard and i did the same, whilst sandy fumbled among the bleached grass and brown leaves.

"hyacinths," said richard, as sandy displayed the green tops of them.

"as thick as peas," said sandy. "this bank will be blue in a few weeks; and fiddle-heads everywhere. there will be no end of ferns. may to any extent—it's only in bud yet—and there's a wren's nest in there——" at this point he rolled suddenly over on to his back and looked up.

"a lark," he explained; "there was one singing [244]its head off, this morning. i say, dick, this will be a good field for a kite, won't it? but wait a bit."

after every fresh thing that sandy showed us in our field, he always finished by saying, "wait a bit"; and that was because there was always something else better still.

"there's a brook at the bottom there," he said, "with lots of fresh-water shrimps. i wonder whether they would boil red. but wait a bit. this hedge, you see, has got a very high bank, and it's worn into kind of ledges. i think we could play at 'shops' there—but wait a bit."

"it's almost too good, sandy dear!" said i, as we crossed the field to the opposite hedge.

"the best is to come," said sandy. "i've a very good mind not to let it out till to-morrow." and to our distraction he sat down in the middle of the field, put his arms round his knees, as if we were playing at "honey-pots," and rocked himself backwards and forwards with a face of brimming satisfaction.

neither richard nor i would have been so mean as to explore on our own account, when the field was sandy's discovery, but we tried hard to persuade him to show us everything.

he had the most provoking way of laughing and holding his tongue, and he did that now, besides slowly turning all his pockets inside-out into his [245]hands, and mumbling up the crumbs and odd currants, saying, "guess!" between every mouthful.

but when there was not a crumb left in the seams of his pockets, sandy turned them back, and jumping up, said—"one can only tell a secret once. it's a hollow oak. come along!"

he ran and we ran, to the other side of our field. i had read of hollow oaks, and seen pictures of them, and once i dreamed of one, with a witch inside, but we had never had one to play in. we were nearly wild with delight. it looked all solid from the field, but when we pushed behind, on the hedge side, there was the door, and i crept in, and it smelt of wood, and delicious damp. there could not be a more perfect castle, and though there were no windows in the sides, the light came in from the top, where the polypody hung over like a fringe. sandy was quite right. it was the very best thing in our field.

perronet was as fond of the field as we were. what he liked were the little birds. at least, i don't know that he liked them, but they were what he chiefly attended to. i think he knew that it was our field, and thought he was the watch-dog of it, and whenever a bird settled down anywhere, he barked at it, and then it flew away, and he ran barking after it till he lost it; and by that time another had settled down, and then perronet flew at him, and so on, [246]all up and down the hedge. he never caught a bird, and never would let one sit down, if he could see it.

we had all kinds of games in our field. shops—for there were quantities of things to sell—and sometimes i was a moss-merchant, for there were ten different kinds of moss by the brook, and sometimes i was a jeweller, and sold daisy-chains and pebbles, and coral sets made of holly berries, and oak-apple necklaces; and sometimes i kept provisions, like earth-nuts and mallow-cheeses, and mushrooms; and sometimes i kept a flower-shop, and sold nosegays and wreaths, and umbrellas made of rushes, i liked that kind of shop, because i am fond of arranging flowers, and i always make our birthday wreaths. and sometimes i kept a whole lot of shops, and richard and sandy bought my things, and paid for them with money made of elder-pith, sliced into rounds. the first shop i kept was to sell cowslips, and richard and sandy lived by the brook, and were wine merchants, and made cowslip wine in a tin mug.

the elder-tree was a beauty. in july the cream-coloured flowers were so sweet, we could hardly sit under it, and in the autumn it was covered with berries; but we were always a little disappointed that they never tasted in the least like elderberry syrup. richard used to make flutes out of the stalks, and [247]one really did to play tunes on, but it always made perronet bark.

richard's every-day cap had a large hole in the top, and when we were in our field we always hung it on the top of the tallest of the two stile-posts, to show that we were there; just as the queen has a flag hung out at windsor castle, when she is at home.

we played at castles and houses, and when we were tired of the houses, we pretended to pack up, and went to the seaside for change of air by the brook. sandy and i took off our shoes and stockings and were bathing-women, and we bathed perronet; and richard sat on the bank and was a "tripper," looking at us through a telescope; for when the elder-stems cracked and wouldn't do for flutes, he made them into telescopes. and before we went down to the brook we made jam of hips and haws from the hedge at the top of the field, and put it into acorn cups, and took it with us, that the children might not be short of rolypolies at the seaside.

whatever we played at we were never disturbed. birds, and cows, and men and horses ploughing in the distance, do not disturb you at all.

we were very happy that summer: the boys were quite happy, and the only thing that vexed me was thinking of perronet's tax-money. for months and months went on and we did not save it. once we got [248]as far as twopence half-penny, and then one day richard came to me and said, "i must have some more string for the kite. you might lend me a penny out of perronet's stocking, till i get some money of my own."

so i did; and the next day sandy came and said, "you lent dick one of perronet's coppers; i'm sure perronet would lend me one," and then they said it was ridiculous to leave a halfpenny there by itself, so we spent it in acid drops.

it worried me so much at last, that i began to dream horrible dreams about perronet having to go away because we hadn't saved his tax-money. and then i used to wake up and cry, till the pillow was so wet, i had to turn it. the boys never seemed to mind, but then boys don't think about things; so that i was quite surprised when one day i found sandy alone in our field with perronet in his arms, crying, and feeding him with cake; and i found he was crying about the tax-money.

i cannot bear to see boys cry. i would much rather cry myself, and i begged sandy to leave off, for i said i was quite determined to try and think of something.

it certainly was remarkable that the very next day should be the day [249]when we heard about the flower-show.

it was in school—the village school, for mother could not afford to send us anywhere else—and the schoolmaster rapped on his desk and said, "silence, children!" and that at the agricultural show there was to be a flower-show this year, and that an old gentleman was going to give prizes to the school-children for window-plants and for the best arranged wild flowers. there were to be nosegays and wreaths, and there was to be a first prize of five shillings, and a second prize of half-a-crown, for the best collection of wild flowers with the names put to them.

"the english names," said the schoolmaster; "and there may be—silence, children!—there may be collections of ferns, or grasses, or mosses to compete, too, for the gentleman wishes to encourage a taste for natural history."

and several of the village children said, "what's that?" and i squeezed sandy's arm, who was sitting next to me, and whispered, "five shillings!" and the schoolmaster said, "silence, children!" and i thought i never should have finished my lessons that day for thinking of perronet's tax-money.

july is not at all a good month for wild flowers; may and june are far better. however, the show was to be in the first week in july.

i said to the boys, "look here: i'll do a collection of flowers. i know the names, and i can print. it's [250]no good two or three people muddling with arranging flowers; but; if you will get me what i want, i shall be very much obliged. if either of you will make another collection, you know there are ten kinds of mosses by the brook; and we have names for them of our own, and they are english. perhaps they'll do. but everything must come out of our field."

the boys agreed, and they were very good. richard made me a box, rather high at the back. we put sand at the bottom and damped it, and then feather moss, lovely clumps of it, and into that i stuck the flowers. they all came out of our field. i like to see grass with flowers, and we had very pretty grasses, and between every bunch of flowers i put a bunch of grass of different kinds. i got all the flowers and all the grasses ready first, and printed the names on pieces of cardboard to stick in with them, and then i arranged them by my eye, and sandy handed me what i called for, for richard was busy at the brook making a tray of mosses.

sandy knew the flowers and the names of them quite as well as i did, of course; we knew everything that lived in our field; so when i called, "ox-eye daisies, cock's-foot grass, labels; meadow-sweet, fox-tail grass, labels; dog-roses, shivering grass, labels;" and so on, he gave me the right things, and i had nothing to do but to put the colours that looked best together [251]next to each other, and to make the grass look light, and pull up bits of moss to show well. and at the very end i put in a label, "all out of our field."

i did not like it when it was done; but richard praised it so much, it cheered me up, and i thought his mosses looked lovely.

the flower-show day was very hot. i did not think it could be hotter anywhere in the world than it was in the field where the show was; but it was hotter in the tent.

we should never have got in at all—for you had to pay at the gate—but they let competitors in free, though not at first. when we got in, there were a lot of grown-up people, and it was very hard work getting along among them, and getting to see the stands with the things on. we kept seeing tickets with "1st prize" and "2nd prize," and struggling up; but they were sure to be dahlias in a tray, or fruit that you mightn't eat, or vegetables. the vegetables disappointed us so often, i got to hate them. i don't think i shall ever like very big potatoes (before they are boiled) again, particularly the red ones. it makes me feel sick with heat and anxiety to think of them.

we had struggled slowly all round the tent, and seen all the cucumbers, onions, lettuces, long potatoes, round potatoes, and everything else, when we saw an [252]old gentleman, with spectacles and white hair, standing with two or three ladies. and then we saw three nosegays in jugs, with all the green picked off, and the flowers tied as tightly together as they would go, and then we saw some prettier ones, and then we saw my collection, and it had got a big label in it marked "1st prize," and next to it came richard's moss-tray, with the hair-moss, and the pincushion-moss, and the scale-mosses, and a lot of others with names of our own, and it was marked "2nd prize." and i gripped one of sandy's arms just as richard seized the other, and we both cried, "perronet is paid for!"

there was two-and-sixpence over. we never had such a feast! it was a picnic tea, and we had it in our field. i thought sandy and perronet would have died of cake, but they were none the worse.

we were very much frightened at first when the old gentleman invited himself; but he would come, and he brought a lot of nuts, and he did get inside the oak, though it is really too small for him.

i don't think there ever was anybody so kind. if he were not a man, i should really and truly believe in sandy's fairy godmother.

of course i don't really believe in fairies. i am not so young as [253]that. and i know that our field does not exactly belong to us.

i wonder to whom it does belong? richard says he believes it belongs to the gentleman who lives at the big red house among the trees. but he must be wrong; for we see that gentleman at church every sunday, but we never saw him in our field.

and i don't believe anybody could have such a field of their very own, and never come to see it, from one end of summer to the other.