no one took care of lazarus, and no friends or kindred remained with him. only the great desert, enfolding the holy city, came close to the threshold of his abode. it entered his home, and lay down on his couch like a spouse, and put out all the fires. no one cared for lazarus. one after the other went away, even his sisters, mary and martha. for a long while martha did not want to leave him, for she knew not who would nurse him or take care of him; and she cried and prayed. but one night, when the wind was roaming about the desert, and the rustling cypress trees were bending over the roof, she dressed herself quietly, and quietly went away. lazarus probably heard how the door was slammed—it had not shut properly and the wind kept knocking it continually against the post—but he did not rise, did not go out, did not try to find out the reason. and the whole night until the morning the cypress trees hissed over his head, and the door swung to and fro, allowing the cold, greedily prowling desert to enter his dwelling. everybody shunned him as though he were a leper. they wanted to put a bell on his neck to avoid meeting him. but some one, turning pale, remarked it would be terrible if at night, under the windows, one should happen to hear lazarus’ bell, and all grew pale and assented.
since he did nothing for himself, he would probably have starved had not his neighbours, in trepidation, saved some food for him. children brought it to him. they did not fear him, neither did they laugh at him in the innocent cruelty in which children often laugh at unfortunates. they were indifferent to him, and lazarus showed the same indifference to them. he showed no desire to thank them for their services; he did not try to pat the dark hands and look into the simple shining little eyes. abandoned to the ravages of time and the desert, his house was falling to ruins, and his hungry, bleating goats had long been scattered among his neighbours. his wedding garments had grown old. he wore them without changing them, as he had donned them on that happy day when the musicians played. he did not see the difference between old and new, between torn and whole. the brilliant colours were burnt and faded; the vicious dogs of the city and the sharp thorns of the desert had rent the fine clothes to shreds.
during the day, when the sun beat down mercilessly upon all living things, and even the scorpions hid under the stones, convulsed with a mad desire to sting, he sat motionless in the burning rays, lifting high his blue face and shaggy wild beard.
while yet the people were unafraid to speak to him, same one had asked him: “poor lazarus! do you find it pleasant to sit so, and look at the sun?” and he answered: “yes, it is pleasant.”
the thought suggested itself to people that the cold of the three days in the grave had been so intense, its darkness so deep, that there was not in all the earth enough heat or light to warm lazarus and lighten the gloom of his eyes; and inquirers turned away with a sigh.
and when the setting sun, flat and purple-red, descended to earth, lazarus went into the desert and walked straight toward it, as though intending to reach it. always he walked directly toward the sun, and those who tried to follow him and find out what he did at night in the desert had indelibly imprinted upon their mind’s vision the black silhouette of a tall, stout man against the red background of an immense disk. the horrors of the night drove them away, and so they never found out what lazarus did in the desert; but the image of the black form against the red was burned forever into their brains. like an animal with a cinder in its eye which furiously rubs its muzzle against its paws, they foolishly rubbed their eyes; but the impression left by lazarus was ineffaceable, forgotten only in death.
there were people living far away who never saw lazarus and only heard of him. with an audacious curiosity which is stronger than fear and feeds on fear, with a secret sneer in their hearts, some of them came to him one day as he basked in the sun, and entered into conversation with him. at that time his appearance had changed for the better and was not so frightful. at first the visitors snapped their fingers and thought disapprovingly of the foolish inhabitants of the holy city. but when the short talk came to an end and they went home, their expression was such that the inhabitants of the holy city at once knew their errand and said: “here go some more madmen at whom lazarus has looked.” the speakers raised their hands in silent pity.
other visitors came, among them brave warriors in clinking armour, who knew not fear, and happy youths who made merry with laughter and song. busy merchants, jingling their coins, ran in for awhile, and proud attendants at the temple placed their staffs at lazarus’ door. but no one returned the same as he came. a frightful shadow fell upon their souls, and gave a new appearance to the old familiar world.
those who felt any desire to speak, after they had been stricken by the gaze of lazarus, described the change that had come over them somewhat like this:
all objects seen by the eye and palpable to the hand became empty, light and transparent, as though they were light shadows in the darkness; and this darkness enveloped the whole universe. it was dispelled neither by the sun, nor by the moon, nor by the stars, but embraced the earth like a mother, and clothed it in a boundless black veil.
into all bodies it penetrated, even into iron and stone; and the particles of the body lost their unity and became lonely. even to the heart of the particles it penetrated, and the particles of the particles became lonely.
the vast emptiness which surrounds the universe, was not filled with things seen, with sun or moon or stars; it stretched boundless, penetrating everywhere, disuniting everything, body from body, particle from particle.
in emptiness the trees spread their roots, themselves empty; in emptiness rose phantom temples, palaces and houses—all empty; and in the emptiness moved restless man, himself empty and light, like a shadow.
there was no more a sense of time; the beginning of all things and their end merged into one. in the very moment when a building was being erected and one could hear the builders striking with their hammers, one seemed already to see its ruins, and then emptiness where the ruins were.
a man was just born, and funeral candles were already lighted at his head, and then were extinguished; and soon there was emptiness where before had been the man and the candles.
and surrounded by darkness and empty waste, man trembled hopelessly before the dread of the infinite.
so spoke those who had a desire to speak. but much more could probably have been told by those who did not want to talk, and who died in silence.
