katy was not at all pleased with the mission which her duty seemed to impose upon her. again she felt the crushing weight of poverty, and pride rose up to throw obstacles in her path. she was a child of twelve, and to ask a loan of twenty dollars, though she offered sufficient security for the payment of the debt, seemed like demanding a great deal of her friends—like inviting them to repose a vast amount of confidence in her ability and honesty. they would not want the watch; it would be of no value to them; and the more she considered the matter, the more like an act of charity appeared the favor she was about to ask.
more than once on her way to temple street did she stop short, resolved to get the money of some other person—the grocer, mr. sneed, or even of a pawnbroker; but as often she rebuked the pride that tormented her like a demon, and went forward again. she stood some time at mrs. gordon's door before she had the resolution to ring the bell.
"what right have i to be so proud?" said she, grasping the bell handle. "i must get this money, or my mother may suffer."
she rang with a force that must have astonished michael, and led him to think some extraordinary character had arrived; for he ran to the door at full speed, and burst out into a violent fit of laughter, when he saw no one but the little candy merchant.
"good morning, to you, katy. are you nervous this morning?" said he.
"good morning, michael. i am not very nervous."
"i thought you would pull down the bell," he added, good-naturedly.
"i didn't mean to, michael; i hope you will excuse me if i did any harm."
"not a bit of harm; but you're looking as sober as a deacon. what ails you, katy?"
"i feel very sad, michael; for my mother is very sick, and i don't know as she will ever get well."
"indeed? i'm sorry to hear that of her;" and michael, whatever he felt, looked very much concerned about mrs. redburn's health.
"is mrs. gordon at home?"
"she isn't."
"is miss grace?"
"neither of them; they went to baltimore ten days ago but i am expecting them back every day."
katy's heart sank within her; for now that mrs. gordon was not at hand, she did not feel like asking any other person; and if the case had not been urgent, she would have been satisfied to return home, and regard the lady's absence as a sufficient excuse for not procuring the money.
"you want to see her very much?" asked michael.
"very much, indeed."
"can i be of any service to you?"
"no, michael."
"perhaps i can, katy."
"no, i'm much obliged to you."
"if it's anything in the house you want, i can get it for you."
"no, i must see mrs. gordon."
"if it's any nice preserve or jelly you want just say the word, and i'll bring it to you at once."
"i do not want anything of that kind. do you think mrs. gordon will return by to-morrow?"
"i thought she would be here yesterday, and she may come to-night."
"very well; i will, perhaps, call again to-morrow," and she turned to leave.
"i'll tell mrs. gordon you came. stop a minute, katy. won't you tell me what you want?"
"i would rather not, michael; but i will come again to-morrow."
"see here, katy; maybe you're short of money. if you are, i have a matter of three hundred dollars in the savings bank; and you may be sure you shall have every cent of it if you want it."
this was a very liberal offer, though it is probable he did not think she would want any considerable portion of it, or that she could even comprehend the meaning of so large a sum. katy was sorely tempted to negotiate with him for the loan but she was not sure that it would be proper to borrow money of the servant, and perhaps mrs. gordon would not like it.
"i thank you, michael; you are very kind, but i think i would rather see mrs. gordon."
"i have a matter of five or six dollars in my pocket now; and it that'll be of any service to you, take it and welcome."
katy stopped to think. a few dollars would be all that she needed before the return of mrs. gordon; and yet she did not feel like accepting it. what would the lady say on her return, when told that she had borrowed money of her servant? yet the servant had a kind heart, and really desired to serve her. was it not pride that prevented her from accepting his offer? did she not feel too proud to place herself under obligations to the servant? she felt rebuked at her presumption; for what right had she to make such distinctions? if she had been a lady, like mrs. gordon, she might have been excusable for cherishing such pride; but she was a poor girl; she was actually in want.
"michael, you are so good, that i will tell you my story," said she, conquering her repugnance.
"just come in the house, then;" and he led her into the sitting-room; being, in the absence of the mistress, the lord and master of the mansion, and feeling quite at home in that position.
in a few words she explained to him her situation, though her rebellious pride caused her to paint the picture in somewhat brighter colors than the truth would justify. she stated her intention to borrow twenty dollars of mrs. gordon, and offer her the watch as security, at the same time exhibiting the cherished treasure.
"now michael, if you will lend me three dollars till mrs. gordon returns, i will pay you then, for i know she will let me have the money; or at least let me have enough to pay you," continued she, when she had finished her narrative.
"indeed i will, katy!" exclaimed he, promptly pulling out his wallet. "and if you will come at this time to-morrow, you shall have the whole twenty dollars."
"thank you, michael."
"there's six dollars; take it, katy, and my blessing with it."
"only three dollars, michael," replied katy, firmly.
michael insisted, but all his persuasion would not induce her to accept more than the sum she had mentioned, and he was reluctantly compelled to yield the point.
"here is the watch, michael; you shall keep that till i pay you."
"is it me!" exclaimed he, springing to his feet, with an expression very like indignation on his countenance. "sure, you don't think i'd take the watch."
"why not you as well as mrs. gordon?" asked katy.
"she didn't take it," replied michael triumphantly. "you couldn't make her take it, if you try a month. don't i know mrs. gordon?"
"but please to take it; i should feel much better if you would."
"bad luck to me if i do! i wouldn't take it to save my neck from the gallows. where's my irish heart? did i leave it at home, or did i bring it with me to america?"
"if you will not take it, michael——"
"i won't."
"if you won't, i will say no more about it," replied katy, as she returned the watch to her pocket. "you have got a very kind heart, and i shall never forget you as long as i live."
katy, after glancing at the portrait of the roguish lady that hung in the room, took leave of michael, and hastened home. on her way, she could not banish the generous servant from her mind. she could not understand why he should be so much interested in her as to offer the use of all he had; and she was obliged to attribute it all to the impulses of a kind heart. if she had been a little older, she might have concluded that the old maxim, slightly altered would explain the reason: "like mistress, like man," that the atmosphere of kindness and charity that pervaded the house had inspired even the servants.
"where have you been, katy?" asked mrs. redburn, as she entered the sick chamber, and mrs. sneed hastened home.
"i have been to mrs. gordon."
"what for?"
katy did not like to tell. she knew it would make her mother feel very unhappy to know that she had borrowed money of mrs. gordon's servant.
"oh, i went up to see her," replied katy.
"no matter, if you don't like to tell me," faintly replied mrs. redburn.
"i will tell you, mother," answered katy, stung by the gentle rebuke contained in her mother's words.
"i suppose our money is all gone," sighed the sick woman.
"no, mother; see here! i have three dollars," and katy pulled out her porte-monnaie, anxious to save her even a moment of uneasiness.
but in taking out the money she exhibited the watch also, which at once excited mrs. redburn's curiosity.
"what have you been doing with that, katy?" she asked. "ah, i fear i was right. we have no money! our business is gone! alas, we have nothing to hope for!"
"o, no, mother, it is not half so bad as that!" exclaimed katy. "i went up to mrs. gordon for the purpose of borrowing twenty dollars of her; i didn't want it to look like charity, so i was going to ask her to keep the watch till it was paid. that's all, mother."
"and she refused?"
"no; she was not at home."
"but your money is not all gone?"
katy wanted to say it was not, but her conscience would not let her practise deception. she had the three dollars which she had just borrowed of michael, and that was not all gone. but this was not the question her mother asked, and it would be a lie to say the money was not all gone, when she fully understood the meaning of the question. perhaps it was for her mother's good to deceive her; but she had been taught to feel that she had no right to do evil that good might follow.
"it was all gone, but i borrowed three dollars," she replied, after a little hesitation.
"of whom?"
"of michael."
"who's he?"
"mrs. gordon's man.
"o katy! how could you do so?" sighed mrs. redburn.
"i couldn't help it, mother. he would make me take it;" and she gave all the particulars of her interview with michael and reviewed the considerations which had induced her to accept the loan.
"perhaps you are right, katy. my pride would not have let me borrow of a servant; but it is wicked for me to cherish such a pride. i try very hard to banish it."
"don't talk any more now, mother. we are too poor to be too proud to accept a favor of one who is in a humble station." replied katy.
"i don't know what will become of us," said mrs. redburn, as she turned her head away to hide the tears that flooded her eyes.
katy took up the bible that lay by the bedside, and turning to the twenty-third psalm, she read, "the lord is my shepherd; i shall not want. he maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters."
"go on, katy; those words are real comfort," said mrs. redburn, drying her tears. "i know it is wicked for me to repine."
katy read the whole psalm, and followed it with others, which produced a healing influence upon her mother's mind, and she seemed to forget that the purse was empty, and that they had placed themselves under obligations to a servant.
the sufferer rested much better than usual that night, and katy was permitted to sleep the greater part of the time—a boon which her exhausted frame very much needed. about ten o'clock in the forenoon, michael paid her a visit, to inform her that mrs. gordon had just arrived: and that, when he mentioned her case, she had sent him down to request her immediate attendance and that his mistress would have come herself, only she was so much fatigued by her journey.
katy could not leave then, for she had no one to stay with her mother; but mrs. sneed could come in an hour. michael hastened home with the intelligence that mrs. redburn was better, and katy soon followed him.
