it was such a charming home!—my new one; a fine great house, with pictures, and delicate decorations, and rich furniture, and no gloom anywhere, but all the wilderness of dainty colors lit up with flooding sunshine; and the spacious grounds around it, and the great garden—oh, greensward, and noble trees, and flowers, no end! and i was the same as a member of the family; and they loved me, and petted me, and did not give me a new name, but called me by my old one that was dear to me because my mother had given it me—aileen mavourneen. she got it out of a song; and the grays knew that song, and said it was a beautiful name.
mrs. gray was thirty, and so sweet and so lovely, you cannot imagine it; and sadie was ten, and just like her mother, just a darling slender little copy of her, with auburn tails down her back, and short frocks; and the baby was a year old, and plump and dimpled, and fond of me, and never could get enough of hauling on my tail, and hugging me, and laughing out its innocent happiness; and mr. gray was thirty-eight, and tall and slender and handsome, a little bald in front, alert, quick in his movements, business-like, prompt, decided, unsentimental, and with that kind of trim-chiseled face that just seems to glint and sparkle with frosty intellectuality! he was a renowned scientist. i do not know what the word means, but my mother would know how to use it and get effects. she would know how to depress a rat-terrier with it and make a lap-dog look sorry he came. but that is not the best one; the best one was laboratory. my mother could organize a trust on that one that would skin the tax-collars off the whole herd. the laboratory was not a book, or a picture, or a place to wash your hands in, as the college president's dog said—no, that is the lavatory; the laboratory is quite different, and is filled with jars, and bottles, and electrics, and wires, and strange machines; and every week other scientists came there and sat in the place, and used the machines, and discussed, and made what they called experiments and discoveries; and often i came, too, and stood around and listened, and tried to learn, for the sake of my mother, and in loving memory of her, although it was a pain to me, as realizing what she was losing out of her life and i gaining nothing at all; for try as i might, i was never able to make anything out of it at all.
other times i lay on the floor in the mistress's work-room and slept, she gently using me for a foot-stool, knowing it pleased me, for it was a caress; other times i spent an hour in the nursery, and got well tousled and made happy; other times i watched by the crib there, when the baby was asleep and the nurse out for a few minutes on the baby's affairs; other times i romped and raced through the grounds and the garden with sadie till we were tired out, then slumbered on the grass in the shade of a tree while she read her book; other times i went visiting among the neighbor dogs—for there were some most pleasant ones not far away, and one very handsome and courteous and graceful one, a curly-haired irish setter by the name of robin adair, who was a presbyterian like me, and belonged to the scotch minister.
the servants in our house were all kind to me and were fond of me, and so, as you see, mine was a pleasant life. there could not be a happier dog that i was, nor a gratefuller one. i will say this for myself, for it is only the truth: i tried in all ways to do well and right, and honor my mother's memory and her teachings, and earn the happiness that had come to me, as best i could.
by and by came my little puppy, and then my cup was full, my happiness was perfect. it was the dearest little waddling thing, and so smooth and soft and velvety, and had such cunning little awkward paws, and such affectionate eyes, and such a sweet and innocent face; and it made me so proud to see how the children and their mother adored it, and fondled it, and exclaimed over every little wonderful thing it did. it did seem to me that life was just too lovely to—
then came the winter. one day i was standing a watch in the nursery. that is to say, i was asleep on the bed. the baby was asleep in the crib, which was alongside the bed, on the side next the fireplace. it was the kind of crib that has a lofty tent over it made of gauzy stuff that you can see through. the nurse was out, and we two sleepers were alone. a spark from the wood-fire was shot out, and it lit on the slope of the tent. i suppose a quiet interval followed, then a scream from the baby awoke me, and there was that tent flaming up toward the ceiling! before i could think, i sprang to the floor in my fright, and in a second was half-way to the door; but in the next half-second my mother's farewell was sounding in my ears, and i was back on the bed again. i reached my head through the flames and dragged the baby out by the waist-band, and tugged it along, and we fell to the floor together in a cloud of smoke; i snatched a new hold, and dragged the screaming little creature along and out at the door and around the bend of the hall, and was still tugging away, all excited and happy and proud, when the master's voice shouted:
“begone you cursed beast!” and i jumped to save myself; but he was furiously quick, and chased me up, striking furiously at me with his cane, i dodging this way and that, in terror, and at last a strong blow fell upon my left foreleg, which made me shriek and fall, for the moment, helpless; the cane went up for another blow, but never descended, for the nurse's voice rang wildly out, “the nursery's on fire!” and the master rushed away in that direction, and my other bones were saved.
the pain was cruel, but, no matter, i must not lose any time; he might come back at any moment; so i limped on three legs to the other end of the hall, where there was a dark little stairway leading up into a garret where old boxes and such things were kept, as i had heard say, and where people seldom went. i managed to climb up there, then i searched my way through the dark among the piles of things, and hid in the secretest place i could find. it was foolish to be afraid there, yet still i was; so afraid that i held in and hardly even whimpered, though it would have been such a comfort to whimper, because that eases the pain, you know. but i could lick my leg, and that did some good.
for half an hour there was a commotion downstairs, and shoutings, and rushing footsteps, and then there was quiet again. quiet for some minutes, and that was grateful to my spirit, for then my fears began to go down; and fears are worse than pains—oh, much worse. then came a sound that froze me. they were calling me—calling me by name—hunting for me!
it was muffled by distance, but that could not take the terror out of it, and it was the most dreadful sound to me that i had ever heard. it went all about, everywhere, down there: along the halls, through all the rooms, in both stories, and in the basement and the cellar; then outside, and farther and farther away—then back, and all about the house again, and i thought it would never, never stop. but at last it did, hours and hours after the vague twilight of the garret had long ago been blotted out by black darkness.
then in that blessed stillness my terrors fell little by little away, and i was at peace and slept. it was a good rest i had, but i woke before the twilight had come again. i was feeling fairly comfortable, and i could think out a plan now. i made a very good one; which was, to creep down, all the way down the back stairs, and hide behind the cellar door, and slip out and escape when the iceman came at dawn, while he was inside filling the refrigerator; then i would hide all day, and start on my journey when night came; my journey to—well, anywhere where they would not know me and betray me to the master. i was feeling almost cheerful now; then suddenly i thought: why, what would life be without my puppy!
that was despair. there was no plan for me; i saw that; i must stay where i was; stay, and wait, and take what might come—it was not my affair; that was what life is—my mother had said it. then—well, then the calling began again! all my sorrows came back. i said to myself, the master will never forgive. i did not know what i had done to make him so bitter and so unforgiving, yet i judged it was something a dog could not understand, but which was clear to a man and dreadful.
they called and called—days and nights, it seemed to me. so long that the hunger and thirst near drove me mad, and i recognized that i was getting very weak. when you are this way you sleep a great deal, and i did. once i woke in an awful fright—it seemed to me that the calling was right there in the garret! and so it was: it was sadie's voice, and she was crying; my name was falling from her lips all broken, poor thing, and i could not believe my ears for the joy of it when i heard her say:
“come back to us—oh, come back to us, and forgive—it is all so sad without our—”
i broke in with such a grateful little yelp, and the next moment sadie was plunging and stumbling through the darkness and the lumber and shouting for the family to hear, “she's found, she's found!”
the days that followed—well, they were wonderful. the mother and sadie and the servants—why, they just seemed to worship me. they couldn't seem to make me a bed that was fine enough; and as for food, they couldn't be satisfied with anything but game and delicacies that were out of season; and every day the friends and neighbors flocked in to hear about my heroism—that was the name they called it by, and it means agriculture. i remember my mother pulling it on a kennel once, and explaining it in that way, but didn't say what agriculture was, except that it was synonymous with intramural incandescence; and a dozen times a day mrs. gray and sadie would tell the tale to new-comers, and say i risked my life to save the baby's, and both of us had burns to prove it, and then the company would pass me around and pet me and exclaim about me, and you could see the pride in the eyes of sadie and her mother; and when the people wanted to know what made me limp, they looked ashamed and changed the subject, and sometimes when people hunted them this way and that way with questions about it, it looked to me as if they were going to cry.
and this was not all the glory; no, the master's friends came, a whole twenty of the most distinguished people, and had me in the laboratory, and discussed me as if i was a kind of discovery; and some of them said it was wonderful in a dumb beast, the finest exhibition of instinct they could call to mind; but the master said, with vehemence, “it's far above instinct; it's reason, and many a man, privileged to be saved and go with you and me to a better world by right of its possession, has less of it that this poor silly quadruped that's foreordained to perish;” and then he laughed, and said: “why, look at me—i'm a sarcasm! bless you, with all my grand intelligence, the only thing i inferred was that the dog had gone mad and was destroying the child, whereas but for the beast's intelligence—it's reason, i tell you!—the child would have perished!”
they disputed and disputed, and i was the very center of subject of it all, and i wished my mother could know that this grand honor had come to me; it would have made her proud.
then they discussed optics, as they called it, and whether a certain injury to the brain would produce blindness or not, but they could not agree about it, and said they must test it by experiment by and by; and next they discussed plants, and that interested me, because in the summer sadie and i had planted seeds—i helped her dig the holes, you know—and after days and days a little shrub or a flower came up there, and it was a wonder how that could happen; but it did, and i wished i could talk—i would have told those people about it and shown then how much i knew, and been all alive with the subject; but i didn't care for the optics; it was dull, and when they came back to it again it bored me, and i went to sleep.
pretty soon it was spring, and sunny and pleasant and lovely, and the sweet mother and the children patted me and the puppy good-by, and went away on a journey and a visit to their kin, and the master wasn't any company for us, but we played together and had good times, and the servants were kind and friendly, so we got along quite happily and counted the days and waited for the family.
and one day those men came again, and said, now for the test, and they took the puppy to the laboratory, and i limped three-leggedly along, too, feeling proud, for any attention shown to the puppy was a pleasure to me, of course. they discussed and experimented, and then suddenly the puppy shrieked, and they set him on the floor, and he went staggering around, with his head all bloody, and the master clapped his hands and shouted:
“there, i've won—confess it! he's as blind as a bat!”
and they all said:
“it's so—you've proved your theory, and suffering humanity owes you a great debt from henceforth,” and they crowded around him, and wrung his hand cordially and thankfully, and praised him.
but i hardly saw or heard these things, for i ran at once to my little darling, and snuggled close to it where it lay, and licked the blood, and it put its head against mine, whimpering softly, and i knew in my heart it was a comfort to it in its pain and trouble to feel its mother's touch, though it could not see me. then it dropped down, presently, and its little velvet nose rested upon the floor, and it was still, and did not move any more.
soon the master stopped discussing a moment, and rang in the footman, and said, “bury it in the far corner of the garden,” and then went on with the discussion, and i trotted after the footman, very happy and grateful, for i knew the puppy was out of its pain now, because it was asleep. we went far down the garden to the farthest end, where the children and the nurse and the puppy and i used to play in the summer in the shade of a great elm, and there the footman dug a hole, and i saw he was going to plant the puppy, and i was glad, because it would grow and come up a fine handsome dog, like robin adair, and be a beautiful surprise for the family when they came home; so i tried to help him dig, but my lame leg was no good, being stiff, you know, and you have to have two, or it is no use. when the footman had finished and covered little robin up, he patted my head, and there were tears in his eyes, and he said: “poor little doggie, you saved his child!”
i have watched two whole weeks, and he doesn't come up! this last week a fright has been stealing upon me. i think there is something terrible about this. i do not know what it is, but the fear makes me sick, and i cannot eat, though the servants bring me the best of food; and they pet me so, and even come in the night, and cry, and say, “poor doggie—do give it up and come home; don't break our hearts!” and all this terrifies me the more, and makes me sure something has happened. and i am so weak; since yesterday i cannot stand on my feet anymore. and within this hour the servants, looking toward the sun where it was sinking out of sight and the night chill coming on, said things i could not understand, but they carried something cold to my heart.
“those poor creatures! they do not suspect. they will come home in the morning, and eagerly ask for the little doggie that did the brave deed, and who of us will be strong enough to say the truth to them: 'the humble little friend is gone where go the beasts that perish.'”
the end
