describes an interview and a rencontre.
one frosty winter afternoon sir james clubley sat in his chambers, having finished dinner, and toasted his toes while he sipped his wine and glanced languidly over the times.
sir james was a lazy, good-natured man, in what is sometimes styled easy circumstances. being lazy, and having nothing to do, he did nothing—nothing, that is, in the way of work. he found the world enjoyable, and enjoyed it. he never ran to excess—in truth he never ran at all, either literally or figuratively, but always ate, drank, slept, read, and amused himself in moderation. in politics, being nothing in particular, he was wont to say he was a liberal-conservative, if anything, as that happy medium, in which truth is said, though not proved, to lie, enabled him to agree with anybody. everybody liked him, except perhaps a few fiery zealots who seemed uncertain whether to regard him with indignation, pity, or contempt. it mattered not to which feeling the zealots leaned, sir james smiled on them all alike.
“that foolish fellow is going to be late,” he muttered, glancing over his paper at the clock on the chimney-piece.
the foolish fellow referred to was george aspel. sir james had at last discovered and had an interview with him. he had offered to aid him in any way that lay in his power, but aspel had firmly though gratefully declined aid in any form.
sir james liked the youth, and had begged him, by letter, to call on him, for the purpose of chatting over a particular piece of business, had appointed an hour, and now awaited his arrival.
the muttered remark had just passed sir james’s lips when there came a tap at the door, and aspel stood before him.
but how changed from what he was when we last saw him, reader! his aspect might have forcibly recalled the words, “was lost and is found.”
his tall, broad frame stood erect again as of old, but the proud bearing of the head was gone. there was the same fearless look in his bright blue eye, but the slightly self-satisfied curl of the lip was not there. he looked as strong and well as when, on the irish cliffs, he had longed for the free, wild life of the sea-kings, but he did not look so youthful; yet the touch of sadness that now rested at times on his countenance gave him a far more regal air,—though he knew it not,—than he ever possessed before. he was dressed in a simple suit of dark grey.
“glad to see you, aspel; thought you were going to fail me. sit down. now, come, i hope you have considered my proposal favourably.—the piece of business i asked you to come about is nothing more than to offer you again that situation, and to press it on you. it would just suit a man of your powers.—what! no?”
the baronet frowned, for george aspel had smiled slightly and shaken his head as he sat down.
“forgive me, sir james, if i seem to regard your kind proposals with indifference. indeed, i am sincerely grateful, especially for the motive that actuates you—i mean regard for my dear father’s memory—”
“how do you know, sir,” interrupted sir james testily, “that this is my only motive?”
“i did not say it was your only motive, sir james. i cannot doubt, from your many expressions of kindness, that personal regard for myself influences you; but i may not accept the situation you offer me—bright with future prospects though it be—because i feel strongly that god has called me to another sphere of action. i have now been for a considerable time, and hope to be as long as i live, a missionary to the poor.”
“what! a city missionary? one of those fellows who go about in seedy black garments with long lugubrious faces?” exclaimed sir james in amazement.
“some of them do indeed wear seedy black garments,” replied aspel, “under some strange hallucination, i suppose, that it is their duty to appear like clergymen, and i admit that they would look infinitely more respectable in sober and economical grey tweeds; but you must have seen bad specimens of the class of men if you think their faces long and lugubrious. i know many of them whose faces are round and jovial, and whose spirits correspond to their faces. no doubt they are sometimes sad. your own face would lengthen a little, sir james, if you went where they go, and saw what they sometimes see.”
“i dare say you are right. well, but have you seriously joined this body of men?”
“not officially. i—i—hesitate to offer myself, because—that is to say, i am a sort of free-lance just now.”
“but, my young friend,” returned sir james slowly, “i understand that city missionaries preach, and usually have a considerable training in theology; now, it is not very long ago since you were a—excuse me—i—i shrink from hurting your feelings, but—”
“a drunkard, sir james,” said aspel, looking down and blushing crimson. “state the naked truth. i admit it, with humiliation and sorrow; but, to the everlasting praise of god, i can say that jesus christ has saved me from drink. surely, that being the case, i am in some degree fitted to speak of the great remedy—the good physician—to the thousands who are perishing in this city from the effects of drink, even though i be not deeply versed in theology. to save men and women from what i have suffered, by exhorting and inducing them to come to the saviour is all my aim—it is now my chief ambition.”
sir james looked inquiringly at the fire and shook his head. he was evidently not convinced.
“there is truth in what you say, aspel, but by taking this course you sacrifice your prospects entirely—at least in this life.”
“on the contrary, sir james, i expect, by taking this course, to gain all that in this life is worth living for.”
“ah! i see, you have become religiously mad,” said sir james, with a perplexed look; “well, aspel, you must take your own way, for i am aware that it is useless to reason with madmen; yet i cannot help expressing my regret that a young fellow of your powers should settle down into a moping, melancholy, would-be reformer of drunkards.”
to this aspel replied with a laugh.
“why, sir james,” he said, “do i look very moping or melancholy? if so, my looks must belie my spirit, for i feel very much the reverse, and from past experience—which is now considerable—i expect to have a great deal of rejoicing in my work, for it does not all consist in painful strivings with unrepentant men and women. occasionally men in our position know something of that inexpressible joy which results from a grateful glance of the eye or a strong squeeze of the hand from some one whom we have helped to pluck from the very edge of hell. it is true, i do not expect to make much money in my profession, but my master promises me sufficient, and a man needs no more. but even if much money were essential, there is no doubt that i should get it, for the silver and gold of this world are in the hands of my father.”
“where do you work?” asked sir james abruptly.
“chiefly in the neighbourhood of archangel court. it was there i fell and sinned; it was there my saviour rescued me: it is there i feel bound to labour.”
“very well, i won’t press this matter further,” said the baronet, rising; “but remember, if you ever get into a better frame of mind, i shall be happy to see you.”
profound and various were the thoughts of the reformed drunkard that afternoon as he left his friend’s abode and walked slowly towards the city. there was a strange feeling of sadness in his heart which he could not account for. it was not caused by the sacrifice of worldly good he had just made, for that had cost him no effort. the desire to rescue the perishing had been infused so strongly into his soul that he had become quite regardless of mere temporal advancement. neither had he been unfaithful, as far as he could remember, in the recent conversation—at least not in words. the hopes and joys which he had truly referred to ought to have been as strong as ever within him, nevertheless his spirit was much depressed. he began to think of the position from which he had fallen, and of the great amount of good he might have done for christ in a higher sphere of society—but this thought he repelled as a recurrence of pride.
as he came to st. martin’s-le-grand he stopped, and, forgetting the bustling crowd of people, buses, cabs, and carts by which he was surrounded, allowed his mind to wander into the past. it was on the broad steps of the post-office that he had been first led astray by the man who wished to compass his ruin, but who was eventually made the willing instrument in bringing about his salvation. he thought of the scowling look and clenched fist of poor bones as he had stood there, long ago, under the grand portico. he thought of the same man on his sick-bed, with clasped hands and glittering eyes, thanking god that he had been brought to the gates of death by an accident, that his eyes and heart had been opened to see and accept jesus, and that he had still power left to urge his friend (george aspel) to come to jesus, the sinner’s refuge. he thought also of the burglar’s death, and of the fading away of his poor wife, who followed him to the grave within the year. he thought of the orphan tottie, who had been adopted and educated by miss stivergill, and was by that time as pretty a specimen of budding womanhood as any one could desire to see, with the strong will and courage of her father, and the self-sacrificing, trusting, gentleness of her mother. but above and beyond and underlying all these thoughts, his mind kept playing incessantly round a fair form which he knew was somewhere engaged at that moment in the building at his side, manipulating a three-keyed instrument with delicate fingers which he longed to grasp.
ah! it is all very well for a man to resolve to tear an idol from his heart; it is quite another thing to do it. george aspel had long ago given up all hope of winning may maylands. he not only felt that one who had fallen so low as he, and shown such a character for instability, had no right to expect any girl to trust her happiness to him; but he also felt convinced that may had no real love for him, and that it would be unmanly to push his suit, even although he was now delivered from the power of his great enemy. he determined, therefore, to banish her as much as possible from his mind, and, in furtherance of his purpose, had conscientiously kept out of her way and out of the way of all his former friends.
heaving a little sigh as he dismissed her, for the ten-thousandth time, from his mind, he was turning his back on the post-office—that precious casket which contained so rich but unattainable a jewel—when he remembered that he had a letter in his pocket to post.
turning back, he sprang up the steps. the great mouth was not yet wide open. the evening feeding-hour had not arrived, and the lips were only in their normal condition—slightly parted. having contributed his morsel to the insatiable giant, aspel turned away, and found himself face to face with phil maylands.
it was not by any means their first meeting since the recovery of aspel, but, as we have said, the latter had kept out of the way of old friends, and phil was only partially excepted from the rule.
“the very man i wanted to see!” cried phil, with gleaming eyes, as he seized his friend’s hand. “i’ve got mother over to london at last. she’s longing to see you. come out with me this evening—do. but i’m in sudden perplexity: i’ve just been sent for to do some extra duty. it won’t take me half an hour.—you’re not engaged, are you?”
“well, no—not particularly.”
“then you’ll do me a favour, i’m sure you will. you’ll mount guard here for half an hour, won’t you? i had appointed to meet may here this evening to take her home, and when she comes she’ll not know why i have failed her unless you—”
“my dear phil, i would stay with all my heart,” said aspel hastily, “but—but—the fact is—i’ve not seen may for a long time, and—”
“why, what on earth has that to do with it?” asked phil, in some surprise.
“you are right,” returned aspel, with a deprecating smile, “that has nothing to do with it. my wits are wool-gathering, phil. go: i will mount guard.”
phil was gone in a moment, and aspel leaned his head on his arm against one of the pillars of the portico. he had scarcely breathed a prayer for guidance when may approached. she stopped abruptly, flushed slightly, and hesitated a moment, then, advancing with the hearty air of an old playmate, she frankly held out her hand.
this was enough for aspel. he had been depressed before; he was in the depths of despair now. if may had only shown confusion, or shyness, or anything but free-and-easy goodwill, hope might have revived, but he was evidently nothing more to her than the old playmate. hope therefore died, and with its death there came over aspel the calm subdued air of a crushed but resigned man. he observed her somewhat worn face and his heart melted. he resolved to act a brother’s part to her.
“i’m so glad to meet you at last, may!” he said, returning the kindly grasp of the hand with interest, but quite in a brotherly way.
“you might have seen me long ago. why did you not come? we would all have been so glad to see you.”
may blushed decidedly as she made this reply, but the shades of evening were falling. moreover, the pillar near to which they stood threw a deep shadow over them, and aspel did not observe it. he therefore continued—in a quiet, brotherly way—
“ah! may, it is cruel of you to ask that. you know that i have been unfit—”
“nay, i did not mean that,” interrupted may, with eager anxiety; “i meant that since—since—lately, you know—why did you not come?”
“true, may, i might have come lately—praise be to god!—but, but—why should i not speak out? it’s all over now. you know the love i once bore you, may, which you told me i must not speak of, and which i have tried to cure with all the energy of my heart, for i do not want to lose you as a sister—an old playmate at least—though i may not have you as—but, as i said, it’s all over now. i promise never again to intrude this subject on you. let me rather tell you of the glorious work in which i am at present engaged.”
he stopped, for, in spite of his efforts to be brotherly, there was a sense of sinking at his heart which slightly embittered his tone.
“is true love, then, so easily cured?”
may looked up in his face as she asked the question. there was something in the look and in the tone which caused george aspel’s heart to beat like a sledge-hammer. he stooped down, and, looking into her eyes,—still in a brotherly way, said—
“is it possible, may, that you could trifle with my feelings?”
“no, it is not possible,” she answered promptly.
“oh! may,” continued aspel, in a low, earnest tone; “if i could only dare to think,—to believe,—to hope, that—”
“forgive me, may, i’m so sorry,” cried her brother phil, as he sprang up the steps; “i did my best to hurry through with it. i’m afraid i’ve kept you and george waiting very long.”
“not at all,” replied may, with unquestionable truth.
“if you could have only kept us waiting five minutes longer!” thought aspel, but he only said—“come along, phil, i’ll go home with you to-night.”
the evening was fine—frosty and clear.
“shall we walk to nottinghill?” asked phil. “it’s a longish tramp for you, may, but that’s the very thing you want.”
may agreed that it was a desirable thing in every point of view, and george aspel did not object.
as they walked along, the latter began to wonder whether a new experiment had been made lately in the way of paving the streets with india-rubber. as for may, she returned such ridiculous answers to the simplest questions, that phil became almost anxious about her, and finally settled it in his own mind that her labours in the telegraph department of the general post-office must be brought to a close as soon as possible.
“you see, mother,” he said that night, after aspel had left the cottage and may had gone to her room, “it will never do to let her kill herself over the telegraph instrument. she’s too delicately formed for such work. we must find something better suited to her.”
“yes, phil, we must find something better suited to her.—good-night,” replied mrs maylands.
there was a twinkle in the widow’s eye as she said this that sorely puzzled phil, and kept him in confused meditation that night, until the confusion became worse confounded and he fell into an untroubled slumber.
