it was pleasant to be cared for, pleasant and strange. kelpie lay for several days on the pile of springy heather which served for her bed. at first she just slept and awoke to eat and sleep again. but then she began lying awake, her eyes on the smoky fire, or on the mortarless stone walls that leaned a little inward against the black rafters and thatched roof. alsoon was always busy, cooking or sweeping the earthen floor with a besom broom or weaving or knitting, one eye always on her patient.
and why should they take her in and care for her so, when they had nothing to gain by it? glenfern had done the same thing—no, best not to think of glenfern, for that was too painful. she must learn to wall off those memories from her feelings, so that they would become like a witch-spot on the body, a spot that could feel no pain even though a pin was stuck in to the head. kelpie had no witch-spots, though mina did. but then, kelpie was not a
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witch, and what was more, she never would be, however hard she might try!
the knowledge crept upon her stealthily, while she was still too weak and drained to resist it. she had no power at all. none of her spells had ever worked. and mina had lied about teaching her the evil eye. it came to her with bitter clarity that the evil eye was a thing one must be born with; it could never be learned. all kelpie had was the second sight, and many highlanders had that.
she received the knowledge with a strange kind of indifference. later, when she wasn’t so tired, she would no doubt feel a savage sense of loss. but she could not think about it now—not yet.
alsoon was bringing her some broth now and crooning to her wee dark love to drink it and sleep. callum must have tramped far over the hills to find a deer to make it, and they knew very well that she could never pay for it at all, and they would be hurt even if she offered payment. highland hospitality was a warm, strong thing with rules to it. it made a grace between host and guest and a bond not to harm each other. this was why alex had been so angry at the way she left glenfern, and eithne so hurt, and—and ian—
she wrenched her mind from the thought of ian, drank her broth, and drifted back to sleep.
when she was on her feet again, kelpie was strangely content just to stay where she was. it seemed to her that
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her life had been violently wrenched apart, and she hardly knew how to begin putting it back together again. she needed time to think. kelpie had always found the world full and interesting, however cruel. she played a game. she avoided the cruelty when she could, and bore it if she must, and fought back when she had the chance. she adapted herself to each new situation that came along, and had quite enjoyed—on the whole—the glimpses of various new worlds that the last few months had offered.
but now she seemed to be cast out of every world she knew, for she could never go back to glenfern, or to mina and bogle (even if she would), or to campbell country. worse, she did not even know what she wanted, now that the power of witchcraft was denied her. the old gypsy life no longer seemed attractive. new ideas had been planted in her mind, and she had found herself groping restlessly for something she could not name.
to keep her mind and hands busy, she began to help alsoon and callum with the various chores, and took an unexpected pleasure in them. for once, walls seemed not a trap but a warm, safe shelter from the early frost and biting wind outside, and from the world in general.
and so the autumn passed, and it was the dark of the year, with only a few brief hours of daylight and long gray dusks. in that remote glen they heard little of the outside world. it wasn’t until she had been there for two months that a neighbor from over the hill came that way in search
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of stray cattle and stopped in to pass on the news that his brother had heard from someone’s cousin who had been away in to a town.
montrose had taken his army north to aberdeen, and this time he had let his men sack the city. “it was because they had shot a wee drummer boy,” explained the neighbor. “the lad was just along with the envoy, asking them would they like to send their women and bairns to safety. and graham was so angry at it that he took the town and turned his army loose on it, but they say he was sorry after.”
and then, it seemed, the old game of tag had started again, with argyll panting after montrose all the way from bog o’ gight to badenoch, tumnel to strathbogie, devastating lands as he went, and slaughtering people if he even suspected them of royalist sympathies.
when kelpie awoke the next morning, she saw the white light of the first snow coming through the cracks in the shutters, and her first, unbidden thought was: did ian lie somewhere beneath that blanket? had alex been punished for killing him? where was montrose now, and what was happening in scotland? it was the beginning of a new restlessness and a growing desire to learn whether ian was dead, and perhaps even to take vengeance herself on alex, if no one else had done it already. even without magic powers, she reflected with narrowed eyes, she could still use her wee sgian dhu!
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the dark, smoky shieling became too cramped for such thoughts, and, in spite of the cold, kelpie took to making long walks over the braes and around the foot of ben more. alsoon looked at her wisely. if she guessed that confusing thoughts were disturbing the young waif, she said nothing but merely finished whatever task kelpie might have left undone when the restlessness was upon her.
“och, and you’ll be away again one day,” predicted old callum mildly one crisp afternoon when kelpie paused at the sheep pen where he was working. “’tis the wanderlust you have in your feet—but are you not also wanting somewhere to call home?”
kelpie had never thought of the matter. she did so now. what was a home? for ian it had been glenfern, where his heart stayed wherever the rest of him might be. but for kelpie, glenfern was not just a place; it was a feeling and it was people. it was wee mairi’s bonnie face and confiding smile; and the twins crowding close, bright-eyed, to demand more stories; and eithne’s quick sympathy; and laughter beside the loch. it was teasing and love and trust among them all, and her own heart given recklessly against her better judgement.
no, home was not a place but a feeling—a deceitful feeling, she remembered bitterly. she had endangered wee mairi by her very affection, and ian had trusted too much.... and kelpie thought again that if glenfern
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had not settled the score with alex, she herself might do it one day. she thought of mina and bogle too, and hoped fiercely that they had not escaped.
there was more heavy snow the next week, and now this was nearly the longest time she had ever spent in one place—except for glenfern, and glenfern had been much more lively. she longed more and more for excitement, for adventure, aye, even for danger, for these were the spice of life. and so she stiffened with anticipation on the morning that wee angus macnab came racing over the hill toward the shieling hut. important news was in his every movement.
“och, callum, and have you seen it?” he demanded in a shrill shout. “montrose himself it is, and his army, just yon over the braes on the edge of campbell land. it is said they will be going to harry mac cailein mor in his own castle!”
kelpie had been standing over near the sheep pen, very still, watching the small lad come. a too large kilt flapped about his knobbly knees, and himself and his long shadow and his twisting track were all dark against the white of the snow. to her left was the black of the shieling hut, smoke rising vaguely against the pearl-blue of the sky, and callum standing by the door. everything seemed to stop in time for just an instant, while something inside kelpie awoke, stretched, looked around, and made a decision.
she didn’t ask herself any questions then, but turned
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in her tracks and walked back to the hut, where callum and alsoon were greeting the lad and asking for more details.
“and where are they?” she demanded.
angus waved a skinny arm toward the north. “yon, near loch tay. the clan is called out and will be joining there. i wish i could be going!”
sudden reasonless elation filled kelpie. she wrapped her plaidie more firmly about her shoulders and looked at callum and alsoon. “i’m away,” she announced.
“och, no, heart’s darling!” protested alsoon. “not into campbell lands, and in midwinter! bide with us a wee while longer, until spring.”
“i’m away,” repeated kelpie, a little sharply, as she realized that once again she was in danger of giving her heart. “and what harm from cold or campbells when the army and all the women and bairns are along? i cannot bide longer, for my feet have the urge in them.” and she tossed her dark head like a young highland pony, so that the thick braids—well tended by alsoon—leaped over her shoulders and beat against her waist, as if impatient.
alsoon sighed. “well, then, and you must go if you must. but come away in first, my light, and i’ll be giving you food to take along. dried venison there is, and fresh bannocks, and oatcakes. and here are the new skin brogans that callum has finished for you.”
“haste ye back, white love,” she added at last as kelpie
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took the food and put on the shoes and stood looking at her.
“aye,” said kelpie, and her heart was torn. the macnabs gave and asked no return but to be able to give more. “you’ve been kind, and i not deserving it,” she murmured, and then clenched her fists and walked quickly out of the low doorway, lest she be caught up in folly again.
halfway up the hill she paused, stared back at the long, low shieling hut, and then waved at the two old people standing there. tears stung her eyelids for a moment, and impulsively she crooked her forefinger, calling down a blessing upon them.
five minutes later she had shaken off her sadness. she lifted her head and breathed the air of new adventure. the hills had been calling this long while, calling through the spell of black depression that was on her. but the spell was broken now, and she was answering the call.
at the top of the hill she was seized by fresh exuberance. curving her arms upward like a stag’s antlers, she broke into the light, wild leaps of a dance that the highland men did around the campfire or at friendly gatherings, and then laughed aloud at her own impertinence—she, a lass, to be doing a man’s dance, and doing it well too. the dance took on a distinctly mocking and impudent quality.
from the top of the next hill she looked down on montrose’s
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army, which had made camp by the loch. from the mouth of the glen, the macnabs were arriving, great-kilts swinging about their bare, strong knees, and the top halves of the kilts wrapped round massive shoulders. kelpie surveyed the scene for a moment before going down, counting tartans. macdonalds were still most plentiful, with gordons, macphersons, stewarts—but she saw no cameron tartans.
she also saw no children, and only a small scattering of women. where were they all, then? frowning a little, she went down, over the snowy hillside, to the camp.
“whist, lass, and what is it you’re wanting?” it was a bearded irish macdonald. “the time for sweethearts’ farewells is past, and we off to raid and harry the campbells in their lair.” the beard split in a grin of vengeful glee.
“it is i that am coming with you,” announced kelpie cheekily. “where are all the women and bairns?”
he stared. “back at blair castle, the most of them, safe in stewart country. it is only a few of the strongest, and they with no children, that we have brought. ’tis no adventure for you, lassie. be away back home.”
“i am strong, and with no bairns,” argued kelpie. “and i’m frightened to travel alone.” she looked helpless and pleading. “i have no home, and i’d like well to raid the campbells. can i not be coming?”
he grinned sympathetically. “och, well—we’ve a
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bloody enough work to do, and might even use an extra nurse once or twice. go find morag mhor, then, who is head of the women.”
kelpie recognized morag mhor as soon as she saw her—the tall, gaunt woman she had noticed at blair atholl, who well deserved the title of “great” morag. ragged woolen skirts were kilted up over a bright red petticoat, showing ankles as sturdy as a man’s. the worn gordon plaidie had fallen back from her head, and her face was more alive than it had been at blair atholl, but as fierce as ever. when kelpie found her, she was berating a red-faced macgregor at least two inches shorter than she, who clearly had no fight left in him.
“and don’t be crossing my path again until i feel forgiving, or i’ll box the other ear!” she finished briskly and then turned to look at kelpie. “gypsy!” she said, crossing brawny arms on her breast.
“indeed and no!” protested kelpie with great promptness. “only a poor lost lass, and away from home—”
morag mhor laughed loudly. “gypsy!” she repeated, pointing a long forefinger.
kelpie regarded her warily and trimmed her tale. “the gypsies were stealing me when i was a bairn,” she conceded, not expecting to be believed.
“aye, then,” agreed morag mhor surprisingly. “because of the ringed eyes of you, i think. you’ll have the second sight. are you a witch?”
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“are you?” countered kelpie, remembering with a pang that she herself was not and never could be.
morag shrugged wide shoulders. “i have a healing power. but i’m not belonging to any coven of daft folk who hold black mass and dance their silly feet off at midnights. my power is in what i’m doing, not what i’m saying.” her lined face drew down fiercely. “i’ll be helping to put the curse of deeds on the campbells this week. they passed my happy wee home in gordon country and left behind a blackened stone—and i arriving back from over the hill to find the thatch still smoldering, and my man dead, and my son beside him, and the lad not yet ten! i have thirsted for campbell blood ever since, and i shall drink deep.”
she stopped, staring into the white distance with eyes that were of burning stone. kelpie reflected that she would not like to have this woman for an enemy. best to go canny.
“i was prisoner of mac cailein mor,” she volunteered. “he would have burned me, but i escaped.”
“och, then, and you’re another who hates him!” morag’s eyes returned from unpleasant places. “stay along with me, then, gypsy lass. we’ll see revenge together, and no man nor devil will harm you whilst i am near.” and kelpie believed her.
