by this time the rainbow cat was getting a little tired of travelling about, and decided that he would go home and have a good rest after his many exertions. but on the way back he had to pass through the ever after country, and the people who lived there were most pressing in their request that he should spend a little time with them.
the ever after country is inhabited by all the fairy tale and nursery rhyme people, who go to live there when their adventures are over.
cinderella and her prince have a beautiful castle there, where the glass slipper is kept on a red velvet cushion in a little gilt cabinet, and shown to distinguished visitors. cinderella never had another pair; she said they were very uncomfortable, and of course she was always afraid some one might tread on her toes.
her two disagreeable sisters have a little house of their own. they have taken to gardening, and keep bees and chickens, and are altogether immensely[110] improved, so that everybody is quite fond of them.
they are rather sensitive about their past, and are both, alas! a little lame, because, as you will remember, they cut pieces off their feet in order to make them smaller.
snow-white, too, lives in a castle with her husband. the seven dwarfs have a fine carpenter’s shop on the estate, where they are kept very busy indeed.
they make the most lovely little chairs and tables for snow-white’s children, and do most of the work of that kind required by the dwellers in the ever after land.
red-riding-hood and her grandmother have a pretty cottage close to that of cinderella’s sisters. red-riding-hood often runs in to have a chat with them, and they are very kind about sending in honey and eggs for the old lady.
of course, there are many, many more people. jack the giant-killer, who has grown rather fat and lazy, but loves to talk about all his great fights; little miss muffet, who is still a bit afraid of spiders; boy blue, mother hubbard, aladdin—it would take me all day to mention half of them, but they are all there, not one is missing.
the rainbow cat stayed with fatima, bluebeard’s last wife, who lives with the two brothers who saved her life by their valour.
[111]poor fatima has never quite got over the dreadful shock she had when she discovered the other wives all hanging up, and she can’t so much as bear the sight of a bunch of keys.
as usual, the rainbow cat was most kindly welcomed and was introduced to all the important people in the place.
they are always delighted to see strangers, as sometimes they feel that things are a little dull after the exciting adventures many of them have been through.
on the third day after his arrival he was invited to a great banquet at the palace of the queen of hearts.
[112]it was a most wonderful banquet.
the rainbow cat wore his best bow, his dancing-shoes, and the gold collar which the giantess had given him. he took his mandolin with him; it had been most useful to him on several occasions, and it seemed a pity to leave it behind.
he met a number of friends at the party.
puss-in-boots, for instance, and the pussy-cat who went to london to visit the queen.
dick whittington’s cat was there too, but he gave himself great airs. it seems it wasn’t really quite certain whether he was a fairy-tale cat at all. some people thought he was real.
it was silly of him to be so stuck-up about it, but it only amused the rainbow cat.
they were about half-way through the banquet when there was a slight pause. the meat course was finished, and everybody was waiting for the sweets. at that moment a servant came quietly in and whispered to the queen. she became deadly pale, and half rose in her seat.
“what is the matter, your majesty?” said the rainbow cat, who sat in the place of honour at her right hand.
“he’s done it again,” said the queen in a low, horrified whisper, sinking weakly down again into her chair.
“who has done what?” said the rainbow cat.
“the knave—stolen the tarts!” said the queen[113] with an agonised look. “they’re nowhere to be found. it’s all my fault. he begged so hard to be taken on again that i gave him another chance. oh! why did i trust him?”
“isn’t there anything else?” asked the rainbow cat.
“nothing ready,” replied the queen. “you see, they’re very special tarts. i make them myself. every one thinks so much of them. what shall i do?”
“don’t worry,” said the rainbow cat. “send round to all the pastry-cooks’ for anything they have ready, and meanwhile i’ll sing a song to fill up the time.”
the queen was much relieved at this suggestion, and gave orders that messengers should be dispatched immediately to buy up all the available tarts in the place.
meanwhile the master of ceremonies was bidden to announce that their distinguished visitor, the rainbow cat, had kindly promised to sing a song, and wished to know whether the guests would like to hear it at this moment or later on.
this was a very clever idea, for of course people were bound in politeness to say they wished to hear the song immediately.
thereupon the rainbow cat took his mandolin and prepared to sing, the whole company being requested to join in the chorus after each verse.
[114]they were all delighted with this suggestion, and they all sang, whether they had any voice or not.
they enjoyed it so much that they quite forgot that they hadn’t finished the banquet. at least they almost forgot.
here is the song:
the rhyme of the gnome with a scolding wife
once upon a time,
when guinea-pigs had tails,
and people talked in rhyme,
and rivers ran on rails,
there lived a little gnome
who’d such a scolding wife,
at last he ran away from home,
he couldn’t stand the life.
chorus. there lived a little gnome, etc.
she scolded all day long
from morning until night,
and she was never wrong
and he was never right.
oh! she could bake and bile,
and she could clean and mend,
but since she scolded all the while,
he left her in the end.
chorus. oh! she could bake and bile, etc.
he thought he’d found a way
at last to be at peace,
but still, to his dismay,
his troubles did not cease.
he didn’t like his meals,
[115]
his washing wasn’t right,
his socks were always out at heels,
his shirts a fearful sight.
chorus. he didn’t like his meals, etc.
by the end of the third verse the queen was looking very strained and anxious, and the rainbow cat himself was beginning to feel rather nervous. his song had only four verses, and he wasn’t at all sure that he would be asked to sing another. he was afraid that people would remember their unfinished dinner as soon as he stopped.
so he began the fourth verse very slowly. but before he had got half-way through, he saw three servants standing between the curtains of the great doorway of the banqueting hall with enormous golden dishes piled up with most magnificent-looking tarts.
“my tarts,” he heard the queen murmur in an excited voice, and then he knew that everything was well.
so he finished his song at a great pace, and the last chorus was sung with much enthusiasm, for the other guests had also seen the waiting tarts, and were eager to begin on them.
this is the last verse of his song:
“assuredly,” thought he,
“her temper is a curse,
and yet it seems to me
that this is rather worse.”
[116]
so home he went once more
in philosophic mood,
and though his wife still vexed him sore,
he did enjoy his food.
chorus. so home he went once more, etc.
the song was very much applauded, and every one then fell upon the tarts with an appetite which the slight delay had pleasantly renewed.
it turned out afterwards that it was all a mistake about the knave.
the head cook had put the tarts away on the top shelf of the larder for safety. but he was a poet as well as a cook, and just before the moment arrived when the tarts should have been served up, a perfectly beautiful little verse came into his head, and he rushed off to a quiet spot to write it down, quite confident that the under-cook would be able to look after the rest of the banquet.
and that’s how it came about that suspicion fell upon the poor knave; for when the tarts could not be found, every one naturally supposed that he had stolen them again.
when the cook had written down his verse and made a few little improvements in it, he returned to the kitchen and found everything in an uproar because of the missing tarts.
he arrived in the nick of time, for the messengers were returning almost empty-handed from the pastry-cooks’ shops. they had made[117] very little pastry that day because they knew that every one would be at the banquet and that they would have no sale for their wares.
of course, later on, the cook had to give an explanation of his carelessness, and he was removed from his position.
but as his verses were even better than his dishes, he was made court poet instead, and he liked that much better, though he occasionally lent a hand in the kitchen when they were very busy.
the queen was most grateful to the rainbow cat for his timely help; and every year, on his birthday, she sent him a box of tarts made by her own hands especially for him.
he stayed only a day or two in the ever after land after the banquet. then he packed up his belongings, bade good-bye to all his kind friends, and set off for his home.
he was glad to be back in his own little house, and delighted all his friends with his account of his travels.
but he had no intention of settling down for ever, and i hope to be able some day to tell you more of the adventures that befell him upon his further journeyings.
