i was suddenly wide awake and listening. a gray light the color of wet charcoal lay over the chilled room. there it was again. plain and sharp through the thin wall separating my room from that of old man donnicker, the shoe-maker.

maybe he was sick. no, that wasn't it. another muted cry of pain, then a choking sound, and the unmistakable thud of a falling body. an odd whirring sound clicked off. then a voice said, "grab the verminous legs of this subversive, marty. let's get him in the wagon."

"you gave him too much bip. he looks deader than einstein."

"i said grab his legs."

a door shut. i went to the window. i was shivering in the morning chill. a black car moved away down the broken pavement. it swerved to miss a large mudhole in the middle of the street and an old woman with burlap wrapped around her feet didn't move fast enough. she flew across the sidewalk like a ragged dummy and lay in a heap.

goodbye, donnicker. i had seen the black car before. donnicker was dead. but it didn't bother me. i never had anything to do with neighbors, anybody i didn't know had a top clearance. i was clear and intended to stay that way.

you just never knew. donnicker had seemed like a true patriot. my carefully distant and casual observations of him had led me to believe he was as happily stupid as i was. but he had been hiding something.

i turned from the window and started the day's routine that had been the same for as long as i could remember. i warmed up some mush on the gas burner. at seven, as always, the tevee warmed up, and miss info with the lacquered lips smiled at me. "... and so don't worry, citizens. the past is dead. the future is assured, and tomorrow will only be another today. and today we are safe and care-free."

amen. she said it every morning, but it was nice hearing it again. then the news came on. there was a pile of junked tractors, trucks and harvesting machines, smashed and rusting. then a line of farmers working with hoes and hand-guided ploughs drawn by horses.

"machines took away sacred routine work from citizens. eggheads built the machines to disrupt and spread the disease of reason. we are now replacing machines at the rate of a million a week. soon, all of us will again be united in the happy harmonious brotherhood of labor. and when you see a rusting machine, what you are seeing is another captured egghead, frothing and fuming in its cage...."

at a quarter to eight i walked ten blocks to work. there were the usual hectic early morning traffic jams. wagon-loads of produce and half-starved horses blocking the streets. the same man was beating a nag with a board. a wagon piled with fruit and vegetables was stuck in a pot hole in the pavement. two men were carrying a spinning wheel into the front of an apartment building. a peddler was selling oil lanterns, wicks and kerosene out of a barrel. the same women and boys in dirty sheepskin jackets were hauling rickshaws.

i really didn't see anyone or speak to anyone. i didn't know anyone. i knew i was safe and had nothing to worry about. once a week i used up my gi liquor chit at a bar with a security seal on the window. twice a week, i slept over at a gi brothel, where every girl had a security clearance number tattoed on her thigh.

i had nothing to worry about.

i was passed through three gates by guards and went to my little cage inside pentagon circle, local headquarters of the department of internal security.

until that tuesday morning i couldn't remember ever having done anything but sort colored cards. my chief qualification for my job: i wasn't color blind. when a green card with figures on it meaning nothing to me came out of a slot in the wall, i pushed it into a green slot that led somewhere into a filing department. when a red card came out, i pushed it into a red slot, and so forth. there were cards of fifteen colors.

another qualification: my unconscious efficiency. i never had even a hint of an abstract thought. i never remembered yesterday, let alone the day before. and until that tuesday morning i never made even a tiny mistake.

i had no idea what i was doing. nor was i at all curious. curiosity was highly suspect. curiosity was dangerous in the best of all possible worlds. it was ridiculous in a state where people had never had it so good.

cards sped from my hands always into correct slots. care-free hours slipped painlessly by into the dead past. i was sure i was safe and not thinking at all. i was a blessed blank. and then all at once—

"the eyes are the windows of the soul."

the thought meant nothing to me, except it was wrong, it didn't belong in the routine. the routine flew to pieces. my efficiency blew up. i felt like a shiny bottle in a row of bottles with a sudden crack running down the middle. red cards hit blue slots. green cards hit yellow slots. cards piled up, spilled over the floor. the more i tried to return to my efficiency, the worse everything was.

my suit was wet with sweat. i thought of mr. donnicker. if a man's routine broke, it could only be because some inner guilt was disrupting his harmony. a happy person is an efficient person. inefficiency is the symptom of a guilty conscience.

"mr. fredricks," a voice whispered. "you're replaced here."

a cold paralysis gripped me.

"get up, fred."

i jumped out of my chair. a thin, stooped little man in a cheap gray suit and dull eyes took my place. in no time at all he had straightened out my mess. cards were blurs moving into the right slots.

a wide, fattish man in a wrinkled dark suit was watching me out of curiously shining eyes. he carried a black briefcase. i had seen the black briefcases before. special police agent.

he opened the door of my cage and motioned for me to go out ahead of him. "say goodbye to all this, fred."

i felt the smile on my wet face as i nodded and tried to feel grateful while at the same time trying to suppress the flood of fear coming up through me and turning to sickness in my throat.

i simply couldn't be afraid. i had nothing to hide. and if i was hiding something inside me i didn't know about, i should feel glad to have it detected and get it all cleaned out.

"my name is john mesner," he said as we walked down the corridor. i couldn't say anything. i felt like a string someone was beginning to saw on with a rusty knife.

mesner's office somewhere upstairs was a dingy room with a dusty desk and a couple of chairs. the walls were made of cracked concrete lined with dusty filing cabinets. the window was so soiled i could barely see the shadows of bars through the panes.

mesner sat down, put his feet on the desk. he took an apple out of his desk drawer and started peeling it slowly with a small penknife.

"you scared, fred?"

"of course not."

he smiled, held out a long ribbon of apple peel and dropped it on the floor. "you're scared, fred."

i put my personology card on his desk right in front of him. "i just had a quarterly brain-check a week ago. there it is."

i stopped myself somehow from yelling out wildly as he stabbed the card with his penknife, then tore it in little pieces and dropped them on the floor.

"you've got nothing to be afraid of, fred. but it'll probably take you a while to realize it." he went on peeling the apple. he had thick hands, stubby fingers, and the nails were dirty. he had a round pale face, a receding chin, thinning hair, and an absurd little red cupid bow mouth.

i tried not to hear the moaning sound that seemed to come from the other side of a door to mesner's right. he got up, went to the door, opened it. "shut that guy up," he said. he shut the door and sat down again. he sliced off a bite of apple and pushed it into his mouth.

"to make it short, fred. i've investigated you thoroughly. and i can use you here in spa. you're being transferred."

my throat was constricted. i leaned against the desk. "i don't understand, sir. i don't know anything about police work. i'm only a clerk, a card-sorter. i don't have any qualifications. and you can see—my card."

"a couple of field-trips with me, fred, and you'll be a veteran."

"but why me?"

"you're already in the security department for one thing. that makes it convenient. also, your intelligence quotient."

"it's a low eighty," i said. "that's the average. i'm well below normal, and this brain-check showed i was lower this time than the last. so how could my iq make any difference?"

"curiosity killed the cat, fred."

i managed to sit down before i fell down. it was impossible that i should really become an agent in the sp, the most powerful and feared organization in the state. what then was mesner really up to? one work error shouldn't have snagged me. i'd never been guilty of thinking above a rudimentary and socially acceptable level. my iq was unquestionably low. i was little more than a moron. so why was i frightened. why did i feel guilty? why was mesner interested?

mesner stood up and dropped the apple core on the floor.

"we're going on a field-trip now, fred. your indoctrination as an spa man is beginning."