when the emperor alexander pavlovitch had finished the congress of vienna he took a fancy to travel all over europe and view the marvels of the different realms. he journeyed through all lands, and everywhere, by reason of his amiability, he always held the most internecine[3] discussions with all men, and all amazed him by one means or another and sought to incline him to their side. but he had a cossack of the don, named platoff, attached to his personal [pg 4]service, who did not like this inclination, and, being homesick for his own hearthstone, he constantly sought to lure the emperor to his home.

so, as soon as platoff perceived that the emperor took a deep interest in any foreign thing and all his suite held their peace, he began to say immediately: "thus and so, and we have the same thing of our own at home, not a whit worse,"—and then he would turn him aside in one way or another.

the english people were aware of this, and had prepared various cunning devices against the emperor's arrival, to the end that they might captivate him with foreign things, and in many cases they attained their object, especially in the great assemblies where platoff could not express himself perfectly in french; but he did not mind that over-much because he was a married man, and regarded all french [pg 5]conversation as mere emptiness, unworthy of his imagination.

but when the english began to invite the emperor to all their arsenals, armories, shops, and soap-sawing factories, in order to demonstrate their superiority over us in all things, platoff said to himself: "come, there has been enough of this sort of thing. up to this point i have endured in patience, but beyond this 'tis impossible. i may manage to say the right thing or i may not, but i won't betray my own people."

and no sooner had he uttered these words to himself than the emperor said to him: "thus and so. to-morrow you and i will go to inspect their arsenal museum. there," says he, "exist such perfections of nature, that when you look upon them you will no longer dispute the fact that we russians, in spite of all our self-importance, are of no account whatever."

[pg 6]

platoff made no reply, but merely buried his hooked nose in his shaggy felt cloak,[4] retired to his quarters, commanded his orderly to fetch a flask of caucasian brandy—kizlyarki[5]—from the cellaret, tossed off a bumper, prayed to god before a holy picture which folded up for travelling, wrapped himself in his thick felt mantle, and began to snore so that not a single englishman in all the house was able to sleep.

he said to himself: "the morning is wiser than the evening."