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chapter 14

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all began to approach and look; the flea was actually shod with real shoes on all its feet, and the left-handed man declared that even this did not constitute the whole marvel.

"if you had a better melkoscope," said he, "which would magnify five million times, then you might deign to perceive that the maker's name is stamped upon each shoe."

"and is your name there?" asked the emperor.

"not at all," replies the left-handed man. "i worked at something finer than those horse-shoes. i forged the tiny nails with which the shoes are[pg 60] fastened on; for that no melkoscope whatever can be used."

the emperor said: "where is your melkoscope with which you could produce this marvel?"

and the left-handed man replied: "we are poor folk, and because of our poverty we have no melkoscope, but we have trained eyes."

then other courtiers still, perceiving that the left-handed man's case had proved auspicious, began to kiss him, and platoff gave him a hundred rubles and said: "forgive me, good brother, for hauling you by the hair."

the left-handed man replied: "god forgives[24]—this is not the first time that that sort of thing has happened to me."

and he said no more, neither was there any time for him to speak at length, for the emperor commanded[pg 61] that this shod nymfozoria should immediately be packed up and sent back to england, in the guise of a gift, so that they might understand there that this was in no way astonishing to us. and the emperor ordered that a special courier should carry the flea, a man learned in all tongues, and that the left-handed man should go with him, and that he himself should exhibit his handiwork to the englishmen, and show what workmen we have in tula.

platoff made the sign of the cross over him: "may a blessing rest upon thee!" said he; "and i will send thee my own caucasian vodka,—my kizlyarki—for the journey. drink not a little, drink not much, but drink moderately."

and so he did—he sent it.

and count kiselvrode ordered that the left-handed man should be washed in the tulyakoff public bath, that his[pg 62] hair and beard should be trimmed in a hairdresser's shop, and that he should be clothed in a state kaftan taken from a court singer,[25] so that he might make a good appearance, and have some sort of rank conferred upon him.

when they had re-uniformed him in this manner, treated him to tea with platoff's vodka for the journey, and had drawn in his leather belt as snugly as possible, in order that his bowels might not shake, they took him to london. and there foreign things happened to the left-handed man.

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