it is a common impression that happiness and unhappiness are permanent states of mind, and that for long tracts of our lives we are under the continuous sway of one or other of these conditions. but this is almost always a mistake, save in the case of grief, which is perhaps the only emotion which is beyond the reach of the momentary lightenings and alleviations and perpetual vicissitudes of life. death, and the pangs of separation from those we love, are permanent, at least for their time; but in everything else there is an ebb and flow which keeps the heart alive. when frances waring told the story of this period of her life, she represented herself unconsciously as having been oppressed by the mystery that over-shadowed her, and as having lost all the ease{v1-81} of her young life prematurely in a sudden encounter with shadows unsuspected before. but as a matter of fact, this was not the case. she had a bad night—that is, she cried herself asleep; but once over the boundary which divides our waking thoughts from the visions of the night, she knew no more till the sun came in and woke her to a very cheerful morning. it is true that care made several partially successful assaults upon her that day and for several days after. but as everything went on quite calmly and peacefully, the impression wore off. the english family found out, as was inevitable, where mr waring lived, without any difficulty; and first the father came, then the mother, and finally the pair together, to call. frances, to whom a breach of decorum or civility was pain unspeakable, sat trembling and ashamed in the deepest corner of the loggia, while these kind strangers encountered mariuccia at the door. the scene, as a matter of fact, was rather comic than tragic, for neither the visitors nor the guardian of the house possessed any language but their own; and mr and mrs mannering had as little{v1-82} understanding of the statement that mr waring did not “receive” as frances had expected.
“but he is in—è in casa—è in?” said the worthy englishman. “then, my dear, of course it is only a mistake. when he knows who we are—when he has our names——”
“non riceve oggi,” said mariuccia, setting her sturdy breadth in the doorway; “oggi non riceve il signore” (the master does not receive to-day).
“but he is in?” repeated the bewildered good people. they could have understood “not at home,” which to mariuccia would have been simply a lie—with which indeed, had need been, or could it have done the padrone any good, she would have burdened her conscience as lightly as any one. but why, when it was not in the least necessary?
thus they played their little game at cross-purposes, while frances sat, hot and red with shame, in her corner, sensible to the bottom of her heart of the discourtesy, the unkindness, of turning them from the door. they were her father’s friends; they claimed to have “stuck by him through thick and thin;” they{v1-83} were people who knew about him, and all that he belonged to, and the conditions of his former life; and yet they were turned from his door!
she did not venture to go out again for some days, except in the evening, when she knew that all the strangers were at the inevitable table d’hôte; and it was with a sigh of relief, yet disappointment, that she heard they had gone away. yes, at last they did go away, angry, no doubt, thinking her father a churl, and she herself an ignorant rustic, who knew nothing about good manners. of course this was what they must think. frances heard those words, “non riceve oggi,” even in her dreams. she saw in imagination the astonished faces of the visitors. “but he will receive us, if you will only take in our names;” and then mariuccia’s steady voice repeating the well-known phrase. what must they have thought? that it was an insult—that their old friend scorned and defied them. what else could they suppose?
they departed, however, and frances got over it: and everything went on as before;{v1-84} her father was just as usual—a sphinx indeed, more and more hopelessly wrapped up in silence and mystery, but so natural and easy and kind in his uncommunicativeness, with so little appearance of repression or concealment about him, that it was almost impossible to retain any feeling of injury or displeasure. love is cheated every day in this way by offenders much more serious, who can make their dependants happy even while they are ruining them, and beguile the bitterest anxiety into forgetfulness and smiles. it was easy to make frances forget the sudden access of wonderment and wounded feeling which had seized her, even without any special exertion; time alone and the calm succession of the days were enough for that. she resumed her little picture of the palms, and was very successful—more than usually so. mr waring, who had hitherto praised her little works as he might have praised the sampler of a child, was silenced by this, and took it away with him into his room, and when he brought it back, looked at her with more attention than he had been used to show. “i think,” he said, “little{v1-85} fan, that you must be growing up,” laying his hand upon her head with a smile.
“i am grown up, papa; i am eighteen,” she said.
at which he laughed softly. “i don’t think much of your eighteen; but this shows. i should not wonder, with time and work, if—you mightn’t be good enough to exhibit at mentone—after a while.”
frances had been looking at him with an expression of almost rapturous expectation. the poor little countenance fell at this, and a quick sting of mortification brought tears to her eyes. the exhibition at mentone was an exhibition of amateurs. tasie was in it, and even mrs gaunt, and all the people about who ever spoilt a piece of harmless paper. “o papa!” she said. since the failure of her late appeal to him, this was the only formula of reproach which she used.
“well,” he said, “are you more ambitious than that, you little thing? perhaps, by-and-by, you may be fit even for better things.”
“it is beautiful,” said mariuccia. “you see where the light goes, and where it is in the{v1-86} shade. but, carina, if you were to copy the face of domenico, or even mine, that would be more interesting. the palms we can see if we look out of the window; but imagine to yourself that ’menico might go away, or even might die; and we should not miss him so much if we had his face hung up upon the wall.”
“it is easier to do the trees than to do domenico,” said frances; “they stand still.”
“and so would ’menico stand still, if it was to please the signorina—he is not very well educated, but he knows enough for that; or i myself, though you will think, perhaps, i am too old to make a pretty picture. but if i had my veil on, and my best earrings, and the coral my mother left me——”
“you look very nice, mariuccia—i like you as you are; but i am not clever enough to make a portrait.”
mariuccia cried out with scorn. “you are clever enough to do whatever you wish to do,” she said. “the padrone thinks so too, though he will not say it. not clever enough! magari! too clever is what you mean.”
frances set up her palms on a little stand of{v1-87} carved wood, and was very well pleased with herself; but that sentiment palls perhaps sooner than any other. it was very agreeable to be praised, and also it was pleasant to feel that she had finished her work successfully. but after a short time it began to be a great subject of regret that the work was done. she did not know what to do next. to make a portrait of domenico was above her powers. she idled about for the day, and found it uncomfortable. that is the moment in which it is most desirable to have a friend on whom to bestow one’s tediousness. she bethought herself that she had not seen tasie for a week. it was now more than a fortnight since the events detailed in the beginning of this history. her father, when asked if he would not like a walk, declined. it was too warm, or too cold, or perhaps too dusty, which was very true; and accordingly she set out alone.
walking down through the marina, the little tourist town which was rising upon the shore, she saw some parties of travellers arriving, which always had been a little pleasure to her. it was mingled now with a certain excitement.{v1-88} perhaps some of them, like those who had just gone away, might know all about her, more than she knew herself—what a strange thought it was!—some of those unknown people in their travelling cloaks, which looked so much too warm—people whom she had never seen before, who had not a notion that she was frances waring! one of the parties was composed of ladies, surrounded and enveloped, so to speak, by a venerable courier, who swept them and their possessions before him into the hotel. another was led by a father and mother, not at all unlike the pair who had “stuck by” mr waring. how strange to imagine that they might not be strangers at all, but people who knew all about her!
in the first group was a girl, who hung back a little from the rest, and looked curiously up at all the houses, as if looking for some one—a tall, fair-haired girl, with a blue veil tied over her hat. she looked tired, but eager, with more interest in her face than any of the others showed. frances smiled to herself with the half-superiority which a resident is apt to feel: a girl must be very simple indeed, if she thought the houses{v1-89} on the marina worth looking at, frances thought. but she did not pause in her quick walk. the durants lived at the other end of the marina, in a little villa built upon a terrace over an olive garden—a low house with no particular beauty, but possessing also a loggia turned to the west, the luxury of building on the riviera. here the whole family were seated, the old clergyman with a large english newspaper, which he was reading deliberately from end to end; his wife with a work-basket full of articles to mend; and tasie at the little tea-table, pouring out the tea. frances was received with a little clamour of satisfaction, for she was a favourite.
“sit here, my dear.” “come this way, close to me, for you know i am getting a little hard of hearing.”
they had always been kind to her, but never, she thought, had she been received with so much cordiality as now.
“have you come by yourself, frances? and along the marina? i think you should make domenico or his wife walk with you, when you go through the marina, my dear.{v1-90}”
“why, mrs durant? i have always done it. even mariuccia says it does not matter, as i am an english girl.”
“ah, that may be true; but english girls are not like american girls. i assure you they are taken a great deal more care of. if you ever go home——”
“and how is your poor father to-day, frances?” said mrs durant.
“oh, papa is very well. he is not such a poor father. there is nothing the matter with him. at least, there is nothing new the matter with him,” said frances, with a little impatience.
“no,” said the clergyman, looking up over the top of his spectacles and shaking his head. “nothing new the matter with him. i believe that.”
“——if you ever go home,” resumed mrs durant; “and of course some time you will go home——”
“i think very likely i never shall,” said the girl. “papa never talks of going home. he says home is here.”
“that is all very well for the present moment, my dear; but i feel sure, for my part, that one time or other it will happen as i say;{v1-91} and then you must not let them suppose you have been a little savage, going about as you liked here.”
“i don’t think any one would care much, mrs durant; and i am not going; so you need not be afraid.”
“your poor father,” mr durant went on in his turn, “has a great deal of self-command, frances; he has a great deal of self-control. in some ways, that is an excellent quality, but it may be carried too far. i wish very much he would allow me to come and have a talk with him—not as a clergyman, but just in a friendly way.”
“i am quite sure you may come and talk with him as much as you like,” said frances, astonished; “or if you want very much to see him, he will come to you.”
“oh, i should not take it upon me to ask that—in the meantime,” mr durant said.
the girl stared a little, but asked no further questions. there was something among them which she did not understand—a look of curiosity, an air of meaning more than their words said. the durants were always a little apt to be{v1-92} didactic, as became a clergyman’s family; but tasie was generally a safe refuge. frances turned to her with a little sigh of perplexity, hoping to escape further question. “was the sunday-school as large last sunday, tasie?” she said.
“oh, frances, no! such a disappointment! there were only four! isn’t it a pity? but you see the little mannerings have all gone away. such sweet children! and the little one of all has such a voice. they are perhaps coming back for easter, if they don’t stay at rome; and if so, i think we must put little herbert in a white surplice—he will look like an angel—and have a real anthem with a soprano solo, for once.”
“i doubt if they will all come back,” said mr durant. “mr mannering himself indeed, i don’t doubt, on business; but as for the family, you must not flatter yourself, tasie.”
“she liked the place,” said his wife; “and very likely she would think it her duty, if anything is to come of it, you know.”
“be careful,” said the clergyman, with a glance aside, which frances would have been dull indeed not to have perceived was directed{v1-93} at herself. “don’t say anything that may be premature.”
frances was brave in her way. she felt, with a little rising excitement, that her friends were bursting with some piece of knowledge which they were longing to communicate. it roused in her an impatience and reluctance mingled with keen curiosity. she would not hear it, and yet was breathless with impatience to know what it was.
“mr mannering?” she said, deliberately—“that was the gentleman that knew papa.”
“you saw him, then?” cried mrs durant. there was something like a faint disappointment in her tone.
“he was one of papa’s early friends,” said frances, with a little emphasis. “i saw him twice. he and his wife both; they seemed kind people.”
mr durant and his wife looked at each other, and even tasie stared over her teacups. “oh, very kind people, my dear; i don’t think you could do better than have full confidence in them,” mrs durant said.
“and your poor father could not have a truer{v1-94} friend,” said the old clergyman. “you must tell him i am coming to have a talk with him about it. it was a great revelation, but i hope that everything will turn out for the best.”
frances grew redder and redder as she sat a mark for all their arrows. what was it that was a “revelation”? but she would not ask. she began to be angry, and to say to herself that she would put her hands to her ears, that she would listen to nothing.
“henry!” said mrs durant, “who is it that is premature now?”
“i am afraid i can’t stay,” said frances, rising quickly from her chair. “i have something to do for mariuccia. i only came in because—because i was passing. never mind, tasie; i know my way so well; and mr durant wants some more tea.”
“oh but, frances, my dear, you really must let me send some one with you. you must not move about in that independent way.”
“and we had a great many things to say to you,” said the old clergyman, keeping her hand in his. “are you really in such a hurry? it will be better for yourself to wait a little,{v1-95} and hear something that will be for your good.”
“it cannot be any worse for me to run about to-day than any other day,” said frances, almost sternly; “and whatever there is to hear, won’t to-morrow do just as well? i think it is a little funny of you all to speak to me so; but now i must go.”
she was so rapid in her movements that she was gone before tasie could extricate herself from the somewhat crazy little table. and then they all three looked at each other and shook their heads. “do you think she can know?” “can she have known it all the time?” “has waring told her, or was it mannering?” they said to each other.
frances could not hear their mutual questions, but something very like the purport of them got into her agitated brain. she felt sure they were wondering whether she knew—what? this revelation, this something which they had found out. nothing would make her submit to hear it from them, she said to herself. but the moment was come when she could not be put off any longer. she would go to her father,{v1-96} and she would not rest until she was informed what it was.
she hastened along, avoiding the marina, which had amused her on her way, hurrying from terrace to terrace of the olive groves. her heart was beating fast, and her rapid pace made it faster. but as she thought of her father’s unperturbed looks, the calm with which he had received her eager questions, and the very small likelihood that anything she could say about the hints of the durants would move him, her pace and her excitement both decreased. she went more slowly, less hopefully, back to the palazzo. it was all very well to say that she must know. but what if he would not tell her? what if he received her questions as he had received them before? the circumstances were not changed, nor was he changed because the durants knew something, she did not know what. oh, what a poor piece of friendship was that, that betrayed a friend’s secret to his neighbours! she did not know, she could not so much as form a guess, what the secret was. but little or great, his friend should have kept it. she said this to herself{v1-97} bitterly, when the chill probabilities of the case began to make themselves felt. it was harder to think that the durants knew, than to be kept in darkness herself.
she went in at last very soberly, with the intention of telling her father all that had passed, if perhaps that of itself might be an inducement to him to have confidence in her. it was not a pleasant mission. her steps had become very sober as she went up the long marble stair. mariuccia met her with a little cry. had she not met the padrone? he had gone out down through the olive woods to meet her and fetch her home. it was a brief reprieve. in the evening after dinner was the time when he was most accessible. frances, with a thrill of mingled relief and disappointment, retired to her room to make her little toilet. she had an hour or two at least before her ere it would be necessary to speak.{v1-98}
