frequent are the divorces in the artistic world. platitudinous moralisers explain that fact with the stupid statement that the morals of the stage are "loose." like the freudians, they always seek in sex the origin of every disturbance in human life.
sex in the life of an artist, however, plays an infinitely less important part than egotism, the desire to be above.
the so-called normal man, who works, eats, sleeps, reproduces himself, and, at his death leaves the world exactly as he found it is probably subnormal.
he differs very little from the animals who do exactly the same things in the same way and seem perfectly pleased with the endless repetition of an immutable life ritual.
dissatisfaction is really the element which we must consider when we try to draw a line of[pg 217] cleavage between men and the animals. dissatisfaction breeds either neurosis or creation.
the dissatisfied person, devoid of intellectual resources, either commits a crime or kills himself or goes off into another world thru the door that leads into insanity.
the dissatisfied person gifted with powers of self-expression, makes the world in which he lives better, more beautiful or more comfortable. that sort of achievement presupposes a certain amount of healthy sadism, the courage to criticise, to offer suggestions, to force the products of one's mind upon the community, to say "look at me, i am perfect or, at least, better than you."
every budding actor assumes unconsciously that he can delineate a r?le better than the other histrionic lights of his time; every new novelist must assume that he can tell a story more attractively than his readers could picture it to themselves, etc., etc.
the artist who is willing to yield, soon relapses into the ranks of the business men. whoever panders to the popular taste of his time may derive therefrom financial advantages but very little egotistical gratification.
the real artist must know that he is right and[pg 218] must not be, therefore, soft clay to be moulded by any one else's desires.
how then could the artist obtain lasting happiness from any form of love relationship?
the male artist, if married to a submissive, masochistic wife, may live happily with her for a time. egotists, male or female, however, need flattery. familiarity breeds contempt. flattery must come from a constantly changing source or lose its power, as drugs do when we grow accustomed to them.
flattery coming from a pretty woman whose attraction has not been weakened by daily contact will soon lead the artist husband into forbidden paths. unless endowed with the wisdom of the musician's wife in "the concert," his wife will soon be granted a divorce on the ground of his too obvious infidelity.
woe to the male artist who takes unto himself a female artist for his wife. as i said in the preceding chapter, sadist plus sadist equals divorce suit for cruelty alleged by both parties. in this type of matrimonial castastrophy, the fault lies more frequently with the wife than with the husband.
female artists are more unbearable than male artists. they are more touchy, more easily offen[pg 219]ded and angered, more apt to suspect the people in their environment of harboring veiled hostility. the reason for that state of things is not far to seek.
women require infinitely more flattery than men do. not that a craving for attention is by any means a typically feminine trait. that craving has been forced upon them by the masculine domination.
we have made woman inferior to man politically, socially, economically, we have, as adler would word it, put her "below." until we allow her to rise to man's level, she will never feel safe and will constantly require assurances of her superiority, at least, from the men who fancy her looks and enjoy her company.
the woman who accomplishes things in this world, who, in spite of woman's handicap in her dealings with the world, wins recognition as a painter, sculptor, writer, singer, etc., feels, and justly so, that she deserves more credit for her accomplishment than a man would. winning power in a man's world is for the woman who reaches that aim ethically, that is, without bartering her sexual favors for success, as difficult as it would be for a jew to arrive in a bigoted christian community, for a[pg 220] negro to establish his prestige in a white anglo-saxon environment.
having reached the top after much fighting, she never feels as secure as a man would under similar circumstances. her ego is steadily on the defensive and whatever interferes with her ego maximation appears to her dangerous and hateful.
the female artist who marries a male artist will soon become jealous of him. every bit of publicity he receives is something which he has stolen from her, which he should, she thinks, if he loved her enough, have renounced in her favor.
the female artist who marries a man incapable of artistic achievement, may be violently attracted to him sexually. her egotism, on the other hand, prompts her to disparage him and to scorn his judgment of her. however much he may admire her, his praise lacks weight in her estimation. he is not a member of the enchanted circle.
a word from "one in the know", insignificant as he may be, will bring a smile to her lips, a flash of pleasure in her eyes, which will cut her mate to the quick. i have observed many a time an angry tension in the face of the business husband of some actress or singer when she would visibly gloat over[pg 221] the not too disinterested praise of some trashy professional.
flattery. the artist is at the mercy of the flattery lavished on him or her by a fellow artist and absolutely blind to the flatterer's ulterior motives. a great musician who died recently was an easy victim to every budding musician who would sycophantically sing his praises. the mere statement "if i could ever hope to sing a few notes like you" enabled any young exploiter who could approach him to negotiate a "loan."
for the reasons i have mentioned in the preceding pages, the woman artist is even more easily victimised, financially or sentimentally than the male artist.
sexual jealousy wrecks the unions of artists with non-professional mates. sexual jealousy and professional jealousy make the union of two artists a very problematical expedient for the attainment of happiness.
fortunately, very few heartbreaks result from the steady grinding of the divorce mills in concert land, opera land or stageland.
the egotistical artist loves himself more than he could ever love any other human being. separa[pg 222]tion from his life mate does not mean loneliness to him. he remains in his own company, to his mind, the best company on earth. and furthermore his egotism tells him, and rightly so in the majority of cases, that being as wonderful as he is, he cannot fail to meet soon "the great love" of his life. and he will probably embark upon another experiment with the same optimism and with the same results.
