at the head of a double column of gaudily caparisoned qornt, retief and magnan strolled across the ramp toward the bright tower of the cdt sector hq. ahead, gates opened, and a black corps limousine emerged, flying an ambassadorial flag under a plain square of white.
"curious," magnan commented. "i wonder what the significance of the white ensign might be?"
retief raised a hand. the column halted with a clash of accoutrements and a rasp of qornt boots. retief looked back along the line. the high white sun flashed on bright silks, polished buckles, deep-dyed plumes, butts of pistols, the soft gleam of leather.
"a brave show indeed," magnan commented approvingly. "i confess the idea has merit."
the limousine pulled up with a squeal of brakes, stood on two fat-tired wheels, gyros humming softly. the hatch popped up. a portly diplomat stepped out.
"why, ambassador nitworth," magnan glowed. "this is very kind of you."
"keep cool, magnan," nitworth said in a strained voice. "we'll attempt to get you out of this."
he stepped past magnan's out-stretched hand and looked hesitantly at the ramrod-straight line of qornt, eighty-five strong—and beyond, at the eighty-five tall qornt dreadnaughts.
"good afternoon, sir ... ah, your excellency," nitworth said, blinking up at the leading qornt. "you are commander of the strike force, i assume?"
"nope," the qornt said shortly.
"i ... ah ... wish to request seventy-two hours in which to evacuate headquarters," nitworth plowed on.
"mr. ambassador." retief said. "this—"
"don't panic, retief. i'll attempt to secure your release," nitworth hissed over his shoulder. "now—"
"you will address our leader with more respect!" the tall qornt hooted, eyeing nitworth ominously from eleven feet up.
"oh, yes indeed, sir ... your excellency ... commander. now, about the invasion—"
"mr. secretary," magnan tugged at nitworth's sleeve.
"in heaven's name, permit me to negotiate in peace!" nitworth snapped. he rearranged his features. "now your excellency, we've arranged to evacuate smorbrod, of course, just as you requested—"
"requested?" the qornt honked.
"ah ... demanded, that is. quite rightly of course. ordered. instructed. and, of course, we'll be only too pleased to follow any other instructions you might have."
"you don't quite get the big picture, mr. secretary," retief said. "this isn't—"
"silence, confound you!" nitworth barked. the leading qornt looked at retief. he nodded. two bony hands shot out, seized nitworth and stuffed a length of bright pink silk into his mouth, then spun him around and held him facing retief.
"if you don't mind my taking this opportunity to brief you, mr. ambassador," retief said blandly. "i think i should mention that this isn't an invasion fleet. these are the new recruits for the peace enforcement corps."
magnan stepped forward, glanced at the gag in ambassador nitworth's mouth, hesitated, then cleared his throat. "we felt," he said, "that the establishment of a foreign brigade within the p. e. corps structure would provide the element of novelty the department has requested in our recruiting, and at the same time would remove the stigma of terrestrial chauvinism from future punitive operations."
nitworth stared, eyes bulging. he grunted, reaching for the gag, caught the qornt's eye on him, dropped his hands to his sides.
"i suggest we get the troops in out of the hot sun," retief said. magnan edged close. "what about the gag?" he whispered.
"let's leave it where it is for a while," retief murmured. "it may save us a few concessions."
an hour later, nitworth, breathing freely again, glowered across his desk at retief and magnan.
"this entire affair," he rumbled, "has made me appear to be a fool!"
"but we who are privileged to serve on your staff already know just how clever you are," magnan burbled.
nitworth purpled. "you're skirting insolence, magnan," he roared. "why was i not informed of the arrangements? what was i to assume at the sight of eighty-five war vessels over my headquarters, unannounced?"
"we tried to get through, but our wavelengths—"
"bah! sterner souls than i would have quailed at the spectacle!"
"oh, you were perfectly justified in panicking—"
"i did not panic!" nitworth bellowed. "i merely adjusted to the apparent circumstances. now, i'm of two minds as to the advisability of this foreign legion idea of yours. still, it may have merit. i believe the wisest course would be to dispatch them on a long training cruise in an uninhabited sector of space—"
the office windows rattled. "what the devil!" nitworth turned, stared out at the ramp where a qornt ship rose slowly on a column of pale blue light. the vibration increased as a second ship lifted, then a third.
nitworth whirled on magnan. "what's this! who ordered these recruits to embark without my permission?"
"i took the liberty of giving them an errand to run, mr. secretary," retief said. "there was that little matter of the groaci infiltrating the sirenian system. i sent the boys off to handle it."
"call them back at once!"
"i'm afraid that won't be possible. they're under orders to maintain total communications silence until completion of the mission."
nitworth drummed his fingers on the desk top. slowly, a thoughtful expression dawned. he nodded.
"this may work out," he said. "i should call them back, but since the fleet is out of contact, i'm unable to do so, correct? thus i can hardly be held responsible for any over-enthusiasm in chastising the groaci."
he closed one eye in a broad wink at magnan. "very well, gentlemen, i'll overlook the irregularity this time. magnan, see to it the smorbrodian public are notified they can remain where they are. and by the way, did you by any chance discover the technique of the indetectable drive the qornt use?"
"no, sir. that is, yes, sir."
"well? well?"
"there isn't any. the qornt were there all the while. underground."
"underground? doing what?"
"hibernating—for two hundred years at a stretch."
outside in the corridor, magnan came up to retief, who stood talking to a tall man in a pilot's coverall.
"i'll be tied up, sending through full details on my—our—your recruiting theme, retief," magnan said. "suppose you run into the city to assist the new verpp consul in settling in."
"i'll do that, mr. magnan. anything else?"
magnan raised his eyebrows. "you're remarkably compliant today, retief. i'll arrange transportation."
"don't bother, mr. magnan. cy here will run me over. he was the pilot who ferried us over to roolit i, you recall."
"i'll be with you as soon as i pack a few phone numbers, retief," the pilot said. he moved off. magnan followed him with a disapproving eye. "an uncouth sort, i fancied. i trust you're not consorting with his kind socially."
"i wouldn't say that, exactly," retief said. "we just want to go over a few figures together."
the end