it was full time that martin gurwood returned to lullington, for his parishioners had begun to grow impatient at his absence. although, as we have already shown, the vicar could not be called popular amongst them, having no tastes in common with theirs and rather aweing them with his dignified reserve, the good people of lullington had become accustomed to their parson's ways, and were disposed t-o overlook what they thought the oddity of his manners in consideration of his bountiful kindness and the strict fidelity with which he discharged the duties of his office. he was not one of their own sort; he was not a 'good fellow;' there was nothing at all free-and-easy about him; no jokes were cracked before him; no harvest-home suppers, no christmas merry-makings found him among the assembled company. but the farmers, if they did not like their vicar, respected him most thoroughly, and thought it something to have amongst them a man on whose advice on all spiritual matters (and in all worldly matters, few indeed though they be, in which honour and honesty are alone concerned) they could fully and firmly rely. so that when martin gurwood, on his mother's invitation, went up to london in the autumn of the year, intending to stop there but a very few weeks, the churchwardens and such others of his parishioners as he deigned to take so far into his confidence, were sincere in expressing their wishes for his speedy return.
but if the inhabitants of lullington were sorry for their pastor's departure at the time of his leaving them, much more bitterly did they regret it after they had had a little experience of his locum tenens. the gentleman who had temporarily undertaken the spiritual care of the lullingtonians was a man of birth and ability, an old college friend of martin gurwood, and emphatically a scholar and a gentleman. he had married when very young, and had a large family; he was miserably poor, and it was principally with the view of helping him that martin had requested him to fill his place during his absence. mr. dill was only too glad to find some place which he could occupy rent-free, and where he had a better chance of being able to work undisturbed by the racket of his children than in the noisy lodging in town. so he moved all his family by the third-class train, and in less than an hour after their arrival the boys were playing hockey on the lawn, the girls were swinging in the orchard, mrs. dill was in her usual state of uncertainty as to where she had packed away any of the 'things,' and mr. dill, inked up to the eyebrows and attired in a ragged grey duffel dressing-gown, was seated in martin gurwood's arm-chair hard at work at his greek play.
although not much given to cultivating politeness, the lullington farmers, out of respect for martin gurwood, thought it advisable to tender a welcome to their vicar's representative, and appointed two of their number to carry out the determination. the deputation did not succeed in obtaining admittance; mr. dill's old servant, a kind of female caleb balderstone, meeting them in the hall and declaring her master to be 'at work'--a condition in which e was never to be interrupted. the deputation retired in dudgeon, and that evening at the dun cow described their reception amidst the sympathising groans of their assembled friends. it was unanimously decided that when mr. dill called upon any of them he should be accommodated with that species of outspoken candour which was known in those parts as 'a piece of their mind.' it is impossible to say what effect this intended frankness would have had upon the temporary occupant of the lullington pulpit, inasmuch as that during his whole time of residence mr. dill never called on one of the parishioners. many of them never saw him except on sundays; others caught glimpses of him, a small homely-looking man, striding about the garden dressed in the before-mentioned ragged morning-gown, very short pepper-and-salt trousers, white socks not too clean, and low shoes, gazing now on to the ground, now into the skies, muttering to himself; and apparently enforcing his arguments with extended forefinger, but so entranced and enrapt in his cogitation as to be conscious of nothing passing around him, or to gaze placidly into the broad countenances of hodge or giles staring at him over the hedge, without the least notion that they were there. on sundays, however, it was a very different matter. then mr. dill was anything but preoccupied. he gave himself up entirely and earnestly to the duty of addressing his congregation; but he addressed them with such ferocity, and the doctrine which he preached was so stern and uncompromising--so different from anything that they had been accustomed to hear from the gentle lips of martin gurwood--that the congregation, for the time struck rigid with awe and dismay, no sooner found themselves outside the porch than they gathered into a knot in the churchyard and determined on writing off at once to their vicar to request him to remove his substitute.
the letter, in the form of a round-robin, was duly signed and dispatched, and produced a reply from martin, counselling moderation, and promising the exertion of his influence with mr. dill. that influence had a somewhat salutary effect, and on the next sunday the discourse was incomprehensible instead of denunciatory in its tone. but there was no sympathy between mr. dill and those with whom his lot was cast, and spiritual matters in lullington had come to a very low ebb indeed when martin gurwood returned to his parishioners. then they revived at once. the vicar's arrival was hailed with the greatest delight; he was greeted with a cordiality which he had never before experienced, and, after the celebration of service on the ensuing sunday, there was quite a demonstration of affection towards him on the part of the warm-hearted, if somewhat narrow-minded, people, amongst whom he had not laboured in vain.
but when the gloss of renewed confidence and regard began to wear off, it was noticed among the farmers that the vicar's reserve, which had been the original stumbling block to his popularity with his parishioners, had, if anything, rather grown than decreased since his visit to london. martin gurwood did his duty regular as heretofore; attended schools, visited the sick, was always accessible when wanted; but he seemed more than ever anxious to escape to his solitude; the services of the irish mare were brought into constant requisition, and she was ridden harder than ever. all this was not lost upon the observant eye of farmer barford.
'it's pride, that's what it is, my boy,' said the old man to his son; 'it was so when parson first came down here, and though he got the better of it, it is so again now. it's after having been up to london, and seeing the ways, and wickedness, and goings-on of the grand folks that leaves the sting of envy behind, mebbe; and he knows it's not right, and flies from the temptation back to these quiet parts; and then the thought of what he has seen, and what he has to give up, rankles and galls him sorely.'
farmer barford was by no means strictly correct in his impression. there was a temptation in london for martin gurwood indeed, but it was not of the kind which the worthy old churchwarden imagined; and though the vicar devoted the greater portion of his thoughts to it, it had not, at first at least, the effect of goading or harassing him in any way. indeed, instead of attempting to expel the subject from his mind, he loved to brood and ponder over it, turning it hither and thither, dwelling upon it in its every phase, and parting from it to enter once more upon the work-a-day duties of the world with the greatest reluctance.
yes, however much he had attempted to deceive himself when in alice's presence, to tell himself that the interest he felt in her merely arose from pity for the position in which, by a sad combination of circumstances, she had been placed, martin gurwood no sooner found himself in the peaceful retreat of his own home, no longer surrounded by the feverish excitement of london, no longer compelled to be constantly on his guard lest he should betray the claxton mystery to his mother, lest even he should betray to his friend statham the secret of his heart, than he acknowledged to himself that he loved alice. loved her with depth and intensity such as no one would have accredited him with; loved her with a power of love such as he had never dreamed of possessing, and which astonished him by its force and earnestness. he, the man of saintly reputation, loved with his whole heart this woman, whose name and fame--innocent, and even ignorant of it as she was--were tarnished in the eyes of the world, and quite humbly put to himself the question if he could win her. in the silent watches of the night, or when riding far away from home, he would bring his horse to a stand-still on wind-swept common or barren moorland, and ask himself if he dared--having reference to his own past life--to hope for such happiness. surely there could be little to cause trouble or anxiety to such a man? he, if any one, could afford to stand the scrutiny of the world, could ignore or laugh at what the world might say respecting his choice of a wife! and what could the world say? the secrecy which had been maintained about the whole matter had been perfect, so perfect as to make him easy about the fact that the dead man whom alice had believed to be her husband was his stepfather. no one will ever know that but statham, who is to be trusted, and--and madame du tertre. he had forgotten her, and somehow, at the thought of her his heart turned chill within him. she could be relied upon, however, and alice would never be troubled by any one or anything more when once he had the right to protect her.
to protect her, to watch over and tend her! to listen to the outpourings of her mind, simple and innocent as those of any village girl, to mould her soft nature and note the growth and development under his tuition of the common sense and right feeling which were her undoubted natural gifts. to solace the dead dull level of his daily life with her sweet companionship; to listen, as he had never hoped to listen, to words of love addressed to him--to him whose celibate life had been so long uncheered by fond look or word of affection! could it be possible that this girl, of whom, as he recollected with something like dismay, he had at first conceived so distorted an idea, of whom he had spoken with so much harshness, and to whom he had so grudgingly extended the common christian charity due from him in his position to any fellow-creature however erring;--could she, by the mysterious dispensation of providence, be the one woman reserved as his haven of rest from the buffets of the world, as the hope and comfort of his declining days? could such a blessing come to him? the whisper of his fate within him seemed to answer, 'no!'
and yet why should such happiness be denied him? however lonely had been his own life, there were few men who had greater opportunities of studying the pleasures of domesticity; fewer still more calculated to enjoy the calm blessings of the married state, all-sufficient, all-engrossing in themselves. and alice, what response could she make to this affection? she was surely heart-whole so far as the present was concerned; she loved no other man; her affection, such as it was, was buried in the grave. such as it was! yes, the phrase was harsh-sounding, but true. communing with himself, martin gurwood came to the conclusion that alice during her life long had never known what it was really to love. there could be no doubt, from all he had heard, from all he had seen, that she had been devoted to john calverley, but it was the devotion of a young girl to a man many years her senior--to a man with whom their disparity of years prevented her having much in common. the feeling which she had entertained for john calverley was respect, gratitude, affection if you will, but it was not love. even if it had been, even if those philosophers, according to whose dicta the first impression made upon a woman's heart by a man, no matter of what age or position, remains for ever branded and ineffaceable, were right--if alice had been devoted to john calverley in a sense other than that which he felt inclined to believe--martin gurwood acknowledged that he would be only too glad to take her as she was. he would accept with infinite thankfulness such a love as she could give him, and perhaps it would be better so. the dangerous passion which might have been, he would not ask for, he would not dream of. a quiet trusting love, such as her gentle nature could feel so truly, could give so freely, would amply satisfy him; and notwithstanding the never-ceasing whisper of his fate, he inclined to hope that he eventually might obtain it.
this hope, not arrived at until after many days' anxious self-communing, brought with it a different train of thought--a better train of mind. he was no longer inclined to be solitary now; he took a pleasure in going among his parishioners; in chatting with the old dames and young lasses; in listening to the farmers, and discussing future plans with them. that was to be the scene of his future labours; that was to be the place where his life with alice would be passed. he pictured her to himself dispensing her charities, aiding him in his work, proving herself, as she was certain to do, kind, patient, active, exactly fitted for a parson's wife. far removed from london and its temptations, out of the reach of any who might chance to know her previous history, worshipped and protected by him; the benefactress of the poor and sick; the kindly friend of all; her life at lullington would be as it ought to have been from the first. and his life? it was almost too much happiness to speculate upon it. with the new hope came renewed health, fresh brightness, unaccustomed geniality. his village friends had never before seen their vicar so radiantly happy; and farmer barford bade his son bill remark that all the direful effects of the visit to london had passed away, and that the lullington air and the return to his congregation had made their parson a man again.
this happy frame of mind was, however, not destined to last long. one bright winter's morning, when martin gurwood was walking briskly up and down the long gravel path leading to the garden-gate, now and then diverging for a moment to speak to the old gardener, who was pottering away in the conservatory, and who had as yet scarcely got over his grief for the damage done to his favourite shrubs by mr. dill's mischievous children, the heavily-laden village postman saluted the vicar, and handed him two letters and his weekly copy of the guardian. there was a time when martin, in his eagerness to plunge into his journal, would have laid the letters aside for a more favourable opportunity, but now the postman had become a person of the greatest interest to him. on several occasions he had received a letter from alice--quietly, simply, and naturally written--describing the domestic events of her daily life, and always speaking gratefully of his kindness towards her. this morning, however, there was nothing from alice; one of the letters was written in his mother's narrow-cramped characters; the other in the bold flowing hand of humphrey statham.
martin now never saw his mother's writing without a certain nervous apprehension. however cleverly their precautions had been taken, there was always the chance of mrs. calverley's discovering the story of the claxton mystery, and her son never opened one of her letters without the dread of learning that that discovery had been made. the perusal of the first lines, however, reassured him on that point, though the letter on the whole was not especially gratifying.
thus it ran:
'great walpole-street, wednesday.
'my dear martin,--although i have been gifted with a singularly patient disposition, with the power of enduring a large amount of weariness and suffering without complaint, yet as a worm will turn, so do i at length lift up my voice to protest against my son's treatment of me. there are not, i imagine, many mothers in this world who have made such sacrifices for their offspring as i have for you, martin; there are certainly very few sons who have received such an offer from their parents as that made by me to you when last you were in london, and yet the treatment which i receive at your hands is in exact conformity with that which has been my lot during my ill-fated life. my long-suffering has been overlooked, my kindness unappreciated, my actions misunderstood.
'martin, are you, or are you not, going to take advantage of the offer which i made you to take your position in my establishment, give up your country parish, and become a shining light in the metropolis? one would have thought such an opportunity, combining as it would an admirable position in society, not vain and frivolous, but solid and respectable and eminently fitted for a clergyman, with the command of wealth, which would have placed you entirely at your ease, would have been such a one as you would not have hesitated to avail yourself of; and yet weeks, i may say months, have passed since i first broached the subject to you, and i have as yet received no definite reply. i must ask you to let me hear from you at once, martin, upon this point. i always thought the late mr. calverley the most dilatory of men, and i do not wish to see his bad example imitated by my own flesh and blood.
'i suppose that, independently of other considerations, the son of any other woman would have thought of his mother's loneliness, and done his best to console her even under much less agreeable circumstances; but i am fated i know, and i do not repine. one thing, however, i am determined on, and that is, i will not bear this solitude any longer; i must have a companion of some kind; and upon your answer will depend what steps i shall take. by the way, talking of companions, madame du tertre has called here once or twice lately. she seems very comfortable in her new place, and talked a great deal about you. but i have no fear; my son will always know his proper position in society. write to me at once, martin; and believe me
'your affectionate mother,
'jane calverley.'
a faint smile played over martin's lips as he perused two or three portions of this letter, and when he came to its conclusion he laid it aside with a shrug of the shoulder.
'poor mother,' he muttered, 'she is right so far. i certainly ought to have given her an answer upon that matter long since. i will write to her to-night. now let's see what statham has to say.'
'the letter from statham was that described in a previous chapter. martin's exclamation on reading it has been already recorded. after a little time he placed both letters in his pocket, clasped his hands behind him, and walked up and down the gravel path.
'i must go to london at once,' he said. 'i will answer this letter in person. statham would not have written in this way if he had not imagined that there were some danger. this man must be paying alice no ordinary attention if humphrey's suspicions are excited. i will go to london at once, and take the opportunity of seeing my mother at the same time.'
the next day martin gurwood presented himself in 'change-alley, and was told by mr. collins that mr. statham was in, and would see him.
