with what unequal tempers are we form'd!
one day the soul, elate and satisfied,
revels secure, and fondly tells herself
the hour of evil can return no more:
the next, the spirit, pall'd and sick of riot,
turns all to discord, and we hate our being,
curse our past joys, and think them folly all.
[1]matter and motion, say philosophers, are inseparable, and the doctrine appears equally applicable to the human mind. our country squire, anxious to testify a grateful sense of the attentions paid him during his london visit, had assiduously exerted himself since his return, in contributing to the pleasures and amusements of his visitors; and belville hall presented a scene of festive hospitality, at once creditable to its liberal owner, and gratifying to the numerous gentry of the surrounding neighbourhood.
but however varied and numerous the sports and recreations of rural life, however refined and select the circle of its society, they possessed not the endless round of metropolitan amusement, nor those ever-varying delights produced amid “the busy hum of men,” where every street is replete with incident and character, and every hour fraught with adventure.
satiety had now evidently obtruded itself amid the party, and its attendants, lassitude and restlessness, were not long in bringing up the rear. the impression already made upon the mind of bob by the cursory view he had taken of life in london was indelible, and it required little persuasion on the part of his cousin, the hon. tom dashall, to induce him again to return to scenes of so much delight, and which afforded such inexhaustible stores of amusement to an ardent and youthful curiosity.
[2]a return to the metropolis having therefore been mutually agreed upon, and every previous arrangement being completed, the squire once more abdicated for a season his paternal domains, and accompanied by his cousin dashall, and the whole ci-devant party of belville hall, arrived safe at the elegant mansion of the latter, where they planned a new system of perambulation, having for its object a further investigation of manners, characters, objects, and incidents, connected with real life in london.
“come,” cried dashall, one fine morning, starting up immediately after breakfast—
“——rouse for fresh game, and away let us haste,
the regions to roam of wit, fashion, and taste;
like quixote in quest of adventures set out,
and learn what the crowds in the streets are about;
and laugh when we must, and approve when we can,
where london displays ev'ry feature of man.”
“the numerous hotels, bagnios, taverns, inns, coffee-houses, eating-houses, lodging-houses, &c. in endless variety, which meet the eye in all parts of the metropolis, afford an immediate choice of accommodation, as well to the temporary sojourner as the permanent resident; where may be obtained the necessaries and luxuries of life, commensurate with your means of payment, from one shilling to a guinea for a dinner, and from sixpence to thirty shillings a night for a lodging!
“the stranger recommended to one of these hotels, who regales himself after the fatigues of a journey with moderate refreshment, and retires to rest, and preparing to depart in the morning, is frequently surprised at the longitudinal appearance and sum total of his bill, wherein every item is individually stated, and at a rate enormously extravagant. remonstrance is unavailable; the charges are those common to the house, and in failure of payment your luggage is under detention, without the means of redress; ultimately the bill must be paid, and the only consolation left is, that you have acquired a useful, though expensive lesson, how to guard in future against similar exaction and inconvenience."{1}
1 marlborough street.—yesterday, mrs. hickinbottom, the
wife of mr. hickinbottom, the keeper of the st. petersburgh
hotel in dover street, piccadilly, appeared to a summons to
answer the complaint of a gentleman for unlawfully detaining
his luggage under the following circumstances: the
complainant stated, that on thursday evening last, on his
arrival in town from aberdeen, he went to the white horse
cellar, piccadilly; but the house being full, he was
recommended to the st. petersburgh hotel in dover street;
where, having taken some refreshment and wrote a letter, he
went to bed, and on the following morning after break-fast,
he desired the waiter to bring him his bill, which he did,
and the first item that presented itself was the moderate
charge of one pound ten shillings for his bed; and then
followed, amongst many others, sixpence for a pen, a
shilling for wax, a shilling for the light, and two and
sixpence for other lights; so that the bill amounted in the
whole to the sum of two pounds one shilling for his night's
lodging! to this very exorbitant charge he had refused to
submit; in consequence of which he had been put to great
inconvenience by the detention of his luggage. the
magistrate animadverted with much severity on such
extravagant charges on the part of the tavern-keeper, and
advised that upon the gentleman paying fifteen shillings,
the things might be immediately delivered up. to these
terms, however, mrs. hickinbottom refused to accede, adding
at the same time, that the gentleman had only been charged
the regular prices of the house, and that she should insist
upon the whole amount of the bill being paid, for that the
persons who were in the habit of coming to their house never
objected to such, the regular price of their lodgings being
ten guineas per week! the magistrate lamented that he had
no power to enforce the things being given up, but he
recommended the complainant to bring an action against the
tavern-keeper for the detention.
[3] these were the observations directed by dashall to his friend, as they passed, one morning, the hotel de la sabloniere in leicester square.
“doubtless,” he continued, “in those places of affluent resort, the accommodations are in the first style of excellence; yet with reference to comfort and sociability, were i a country gentleman in the habit of occasionally visiting london, my temporary domicile should be the snug domesticated coffee-house, economical in its charges and pleasurable in the variety of its visitors, where i might, at will, extend or abridge my evening intercourse, and in the retirement of my own apartment feel myself more at home than in the vacuum of an hotel.”
the attention of our perambulators, in passing through the square, was attracted by a fine boy, apparently about eight years of age, dressed in mourning, who, at the door of brunet's hotel, was endeavouring with all his little strength and influence to oppose the egress of a large newfoundland dog, that, indignant of restraint, seemed desirous in a strange land of introducing himself to [4] canine good fellowship. the boy, whose large dark eyes were full of animation, and his countenance, though bronzed, interestingly expressive, remonstrated with the dog in the french language. “the animal does not understand you,” exclaimed tallyho, in the vernacular idiom of the youth, “speak to him in english.” “he must be a clever dog,” answered the boy, “to know english so soon, for neither him nor i have been in england above a week, and for the first time in our lives.”—“and how is it,” asked tallyho, “that you speak the english language so fluently?” “o,” said the little fellow, “my mother taught it me; she is an english woman, and for that reason i love the english, and am much fonder of talking their language than my own.” there was something extremely captivating in the boy. the dog now struggling for freedom was nearly effecting his release, when the two friends interposed their assistance, and secured the pre-meditating fugitive at the moment when, to inquire the cause of the bustle, the father of the child made his appearance in the person of field marshal count bertrand. the count, possessing all the characteristics of a gentleman, acknowledged politely the kind attention of the strangers to his son, while, on the other hand, they returned his obeisance with the due respect excited by his uniform friendship and undeviating attachment to greatness in adversity. the discerning eye of field marshal bertrand justly appreciated the superior rank of the strangers, to whom he observed, that during the short period he had then been in england, he had experienced much courtesy, of which he should always retain a grateful recollection. this accidental interview was creative of reciprocal satisfaction, and the parties separated, not without an invitation on the part of the boy, that his newly found acquaintances would again visit the “friends of the emperor."{1}[5]
1 lines supposed to have been written by
the ex-emperor napoleon in his last illness.
too slowly the tide of existence recedes
for him in captivity destined to languish,
the exile, abandon'd of fortune, who needs
the friendship of death to obliviate his anguish.
yet, even his last moments unmet by a sigh,
napoleon the great uncomplaining shall die!
though doom'd on thy rock, st. helena, to close
my life, that once presag'd ineffable glory,
unvisited here though my ashes repose,
no tablet to tell the lone exile's sad story,—
napoleon buonaparte—still shall the name
exist on the records immortal of fame!
posterity, tracing the annals of france,
the merits will own of her potent defender;
her greatness pre-eminent skill'd to advance,
creating, sustaining, her zenith of splendour;
who patroniz'd arts, and averted alarms,
till crush'd by the union of nations in arms!
i yield to my fate! nor should memory bring
one moment of fruitless and painful reflection
of what i was lately—an emperor and king,
unless for the bitter, yet fond recollection
of those, who my heart's best endearments have won,
remote from my death-bed—my consort and son!
denied in their arms even to breathe my last sigh,
no relatives' solace my exit attending;
with strangers sojourning, 'midst strangers i die,
no tear of regret with the last duties blending.
to him, the lorn exile, no obsequies paid,
whose fiat a universe lately obey'd!
make there then my tomb, where the willow trees wave,
and, far in the island, the streamlet meanders;
if ever, by stealth, to my green grassy grave
some kind musing spirit of sympathy wanders—
“here rests,” he will say, “from adversity's pains,
napoleon buonaparte's mortal remains!”
we have no disposition to enter into the character of the
deceased ex-emperor; history will not fail to do justice
alike to the merits and the crimes of one, who is inevitably
destined to fill so portentous a page on its records. at the
present time, to speak of the good of which he may have been
either the intentional or the involuntary instrument,
without some bias of party feeling would be impossible.
“hard is his fate, on whom the public gaze
is fix'd for ever, to condemn or praise;
repose denies her requiem to his name,
and folly loves the martyrdom of fame.”
at all events, he is now no more; and “an english spirit
wars not with the dead.”
“the count,” said dashall to his cousin, as they pursued their walk, “remains in england until he obtain [6] permission from the king of france to return to his native country: that such leave will be given, there is little doubt; the meritorious fidelity which the count has uniformly exemplified to his late unfortunate and exiled master, has obtained for him universal esteem, and the king of france is too generous to withhold, amidst the general feeling, his approbation.”
passing through long acre in their progress towards the british museum, to which national establishment they had cards of admission, the two friends were intercepted in their way by a concourse at a coach-maker's shop, fronting which stood a chariot carefully matted round the body, firmly sewed together, and the wheels enveloped in hay-bands, preparatory to its being sent into the country. scarcely had these precautionary measures of safety been completed, when a shrill cry, as if by a child inside the vehicle, was heard, loud and continuative, which, after the lapse of some minutes, broke out into the urgent and reiterated exclamation of—“let me out!—i shall be suffocated!—pray let me out!”
the workmen, who had packed up the carriage, stared at each other in mute and appalling astonishment; they felt conscious that no child was within the vehicle; and when at last they recovered from the stupor of amazement, they resisted the importunity of the multitude to strip the chariot, and manfully swore, that if any one was inside, it must be the devil himself, or one of his imps, and no human or visible being whatsoever.
some, of the multitude were inclined to a similar opinion. the crowd increased, and the most intense interest was depicted in every countenance, when the cry of “let me out!—i shall die!—for heaven's sake let me out!” was audibly and vehemently again and again repeated.
the impatient multitude now began to cut away the matting; when the workmen, apprehensive that the carriage might sustain some damage from the impetuosity of their proceedings, took upon themselves the act of dismantling the mysterious machine; during which operation, the cry of “let me out!” became more and more clamorously importunate. at last the vehicle was laid bare, and its door thrown open; when, to the utter amazement of the crowd, no child was there—no trace was to be seen of aught, human or super-human! the [7] assemblage gazed on the vacant space from whence the sounds had emanated, in confusion and dismay. during this momentary suspense, in which the country 'squire participated, a voice from some invisible agent, as if descending the steps of the carriage, exclaimed—“thank you, my good friends, i am very much obliged to you—i shall now go home, and where my home is you will all know by-and-by!”
with the exception of dashall and tallyho, the minds of the spectators, previously impressed with the legends of superstition and diablerie, gave way under the dread of the actual presence of his satanic majesty; and the congregated auditors of his ominous denunciation instantaneously dispersed themselves from the scene of witchery, and, re-assembling in groupes on distant parts of the street, cogitated and surmised on the devil's visit to the coachmakers of long acre!
tallyho now turned an inquisitive eye on his cousin, who answered the silent and anxious enquiry with an immoderate fit of laughter, declaring that this was the best and most ingenious hoax of any he had ever witnessed, and that he would not have missed, on any consideration whatsoever, the pleasure of enjoying it. “the devil in long acre!—i shall never forget it,” exclaimed the animated cousin of the staring and discomfited 'squire.
“explain, explain,” reiterated the 'squire, impatiently.
“you shall have it in one word,"answered dashall—“ventriloquism!”{1}
1 this hoax was actually practised by a ventriloquist in the
manner described. it certainly is of a less offensive nature
than that of many others which have been successfully
brought for-ward in the metropolis, the offspring of folly
and idleness.—“a fellow,” some years ago, certainly not “of
infinite humour,” considering an elderly maiden lady of
berner street a “fit and proper subject” on whom to
exercise his wit, was at the trouble of writing a vast
number of letters to tradesmen and others, magistrates and
professional men, ordering from the former various goods,
and requiring the advice, in a case of emergency, of the
latter, appointing the same hour, to all, of attendance; so
that, in fact, at the time mentioned, the street, to the
annoy-ance and astonishment of its inhabitants, was crowded
with a motley group of visitants, equestrian and pedestrian,
all eagerly pressing forward to their destination, the old
lady's place of residence. in the heterogeneous assemblage
there were seen tradesmen of all denominations, accompanied
by their porters, bearing various articles of household
furniture; counsellors anticipating fees; lawyers engaged
to execute the last will and testament of the heroine of the
drama, and, not the least conspicuous, an undertaker
preceded by his man with a coffin; and to crown the whole,
“though last not least in our esteem,” the then lord mayor of
london, who, at the eager desire of the old lady, had, with
a commendable feeling of humanity, left his civic dominions,
in order to administer, in a case of danger and difficulty,
his consolation and assistance. when, behold! the clue was
unravelled, the whole turn'd out an hoax, and the author
still remains in nubibus!!!
[8] “and who could have been the artist?” enquired tallyho.
“nay,” answered his friend, “that is impossible to say; some one in the crowd, but the secret must remain with himself; neither do i think it would have been altogether prudent his revealing it to his alarmed and credulous auditory.”
“a ventriloquist,” observed the 'squire, “is so little known in the country, that i had lost all reminiscence of his surprising powers; however, i shall in future, from the occurrence of to-day, resist the obtrusion of superstition, and in all cases of 'doubtful dilemma' remember the devil in long acre!”{l}
“well resolved,” answered dashall; and in a few minutes they gained great russel street, bloomsbury, without further incident or interruption.
1 the child in the hat.—not long since, a waggoner coming
to town with a load of hay, was overtaken by a stranger, who
entered into familiar conversation with him. they had not
pro-ceeded far, when, to the great terror of giles jolt, a
plaintive cry, apparently that of a child, issued from the
waggon. “didst hear that, mon?” exclaimed giles. the cry was
renewed—“luord! luord! an there be na a babe aneath the
hay, i'se be hanged; lend us a hand, mon, to get un out, for
god's sake!” the stranger very promptly assisted in
unloading the waggon, but no child was found. the hay now
lay in a heap on the road, from whence the cry was once more
long and loudly reiterated! in eager research, giles next
proceeded to scatter the hay over the road, the cry still
continuing; but when, at last, he ascertained that the
assumed infantine plaint was all a delusion, his hair stood
erect with horror, and, running rapidly from his companion,
announced that he had been associated on the road by the
devil, for that none else could play him such a trick! it
was not without great difficulty that the people to whom he
told this strange story prevailed on him to return, at last,
to his waggon and horses; he did so with manifest
reluctance. to his indescribable relief, his infernal
companion hail vanished in the person of the ventriloquist,
and jolt still believes in the supernatural visitation!
[9] amongst the literary and scientific institutions of the metropolis, the british museum, situated in great russel street, bloomsbury, stands pre-eminent.
entering the spacious court, our two friends found a party in waiting for the conductor. of the individuals composing this party, the reconnoitering eye of dashall observed a trio, from whence he anticipated considerable amusement. it was a family triumvirate, formed of an old bachelor, whose cent per cent ideas predominated over every other, wheresoever situated or howsoever employed; his maiden sister, prim, starch and antiquated; and their hopeful nephew, a complete coxcomb, that is, in full possession of the requisite concomitants—ignorance and impudence, and arrayed in the first style of the most exquisite dandyism. this delectable triumviri had emerged from their chaotic recess in bearbinder-lane; the exquisite, to exhibit his sweet person along with the other curiosities of the museum; his maiden aunt, to see, as she expressed it, the “he-gipsyian munhuments, kivered with kerry-glee-fix;” and her brother, to ascertain whether, independent of outlandish baubles, gimcracks and gewgaws, there was any thing of substantiality with which to enhance the per contra side in the account current between the british museum and the public!
attaching themselves to this respectable trio, dashall and tallyho followed, with the other visitants, the guide, whose duty it that day was to point out the various curiosities of this great national institution.
the british museum was established by act of parliament, in 1753, in pursuance of the will of sir hans sloane, who left his museum to the nation, on condition that parliament should pay 20,000l. to his executors, and purchase a house sufficiently commodious for it. the parliament acted with great liberality on the occasion; several other valuable collections were united to that of sir hans sloane, and the whole establishment was completed for the sum of 85,000l. raised by lottery. at the institution of this grand treasury of learning, it was proposed that a competent part of 1800l. the annual sum granted by parliament for the support of the house, should be appropriated for the purchase of new books; but the salaries necessary for the officers, together with the contingent expenses, have always exceeded the allowance; so that the trustees have been repeatedly [10] obliged to make application to defray the necessary charges.
mr. timothy surety, the before mentioned bearbinder-lane resident, of cent per cent rumination; his accomplished sister, tabitha; his exquisite nephew, jasper; and the redoubtable heroes of our eventful history, were now associated in one party, and the remaining visitants were sociably amalgamated in another; and each having its separate conductor, both proceeded to the inspection of the first and most valuable collection in the universe.
page10 british museum
on entering the gate, the first objects which attracted attention were two large sheds, defending from the inclemency of the seasons a collection of egyptian monuments, the whole of which were taken from the french at alexandria, in the last war. the most curious of these, perhaps, is the large sarcophagus beneath the shed to the left, which has been considered as the exterior coffin of alexander the great, used at his final interment. it is formed of variegated marble, and, as mrs. tabitha surety observed, was “kivered with kerry-glee-fix.”
“nephew jasper,” said his uncle, “you are better acquainted with the nomenclature, i think you call it, of them there thing-um-bobs than i am—what is the name of this here?”
“my dear sir,” rejoined the exquisite, “this here is called a sark o' fegus, implying the domicile, or rather, the winding-sheet of the dead, as the sark or chemise wound itself round the fair forms of the daughters of o'fegus, a highland chieftain, from whom descended philip of macedon, father of alexander the great; and thence originated the name subsequently given by the highland laird's successors, to the dormitory of the dead, the sark o' fegus, or in the corruption of modern orthography, sarcophagus.”
timothy surety cast an approving glance towards his nephew, and whispering dashall, “my nephew, sir, apparently a puppy, sir, but well informed, nevertheless—what think you of his definition of that hard word? is he not, i mean my nephew jaz, a most extraordinary young man?”
“superlatively so,” answered dashall, “and i think you are happy in bearing affinity to a young man of such transcendent acquirements.”
[11]"d—n his acquirements!” exclaimed timothy; “would you think it, they are of no use in the way of trade, and though i have given him many an opportunity of doing well, he knows no more of keeping a set of books by double-entry, than timothy surety does of keeping a pack of hounds, who was never twenty miles beyond the hearing of bow bells in all his lifetime!”
this important communication, having been made apart from the recognition of the aunt and nephew, passed on their approach, unanswered; and dashall and his friend remained in doubt whether or not the nephew, in his late definition of the word sarcophagus, was in jest or earnest: tallyho inclined to think that he was hoaxing the old gentleman; on the other hand, his cousin bethought himself, that the apparent ingenuity of jaz's definition was attributable entirely to his ignorance.
here also were two statues of roman workmanship, supposed to be those of marcus aurelius and severus, ancient, but evidently of provincial sculpture.
mrs. tabitha, shading her eyes with her fan, and casting a glance askew at the two naked figures, which exhibited the perfection of symmetry, enquired of her nephew who they were meant to represent.
his answer was equally eccentric with that accorded to his uncle on the subject of the sarcophagus.
“my dear madam!” said jaz, “these two figures are consanguineous to those of gog and magog in guildhall, being the lineal descendants of these mighty associates of the livery of london!”
“but, jaz” rejoined the antique dame, “i always understood that messieurs gog and magog derived their origin from quite a different family.”
“aunt of mine,” responded jaz, “the lofty rubicunded civic baronet shall not be 'shorn of his beams;' he claims the same honour with his brainless brothers before us-he is a scion of the same tree; sir w*ll**m, the twin brothers of guildhall, and these two sedate gentlemen of stone, all boast the honour of the same extraction!”
behind them, on the right, was a ram's head of very curious workmanship, from thebes.
“perhaps, sir,” said mrs. tabitha, graciously addressing herself to ?squire tallyho, “you can inform us what may be the import of this singular exhibition?”
“on my honour, madam,” answered the 'squire, “i cannot satisfactorily resolve the enquiry; i am a country [12] gentleman, and though conversant with rains and rams' horns in my own neighbourhood, have no knowledge of them with reference to the connexion of the latter with the citizens of london or westminster!”
jaz again assumed the office of expositor.—“my very reverend aunt,” said jaz, “i must prolegomenize the required explanation with a simple anecdote:—
“when charles the second returned from one of his northern tours, accompanied by the earl of rochester, he passed through shoreditch. on each side the road was a huge pile of rams' horns, for what purpose tradition saith not. 'what is the meaning of all this?' asked the king, pointing towards the symbolics. 'i know not,' rejoined rochester, 'unless it implies that the citizens of london have laid their heads together, to welcome your majesty's return!' in commemoration of this witticism, the ram's head is to the citizens of london a prominent feature of exhibition in the british museum.”
this interpretation raised a laugh at the expense of timothy surety, who, nevertheless, bore it with great good humour, being a bachelor, and consequently not within the scope of that ridicule on the basis of which was founded the present sarcastic fabric.
it was now obvious to dash all and his friend, that this young man, jasper surety, was not altogether the ignoramus at first presumed. they had already been entertained by his remarks, and his annotations were of a description to warrant the expectancy of further amusement in the progress of their inspection.
from the hall the visitors were led through an iron gateway to the great staircase, opposite the bottom of which is preserved a model in mahogany, exhibiting the method used by mr. milne in constructing the works of blackfriars' bridge; and beneath it are some curious fragments from the giant's causeway in ireland.
these fragments, however highly estimated by the naturalist and the antiquary, were held in derision by the worldly-minded tim. surety, who exclaimed against the folly of expending money in the purchase of articles of no intrinsic value, calculated only to gratify the curiosity of those inquisitive idlers who affect their admiration of every uninteresting production of nature, and neglect the pursuit of the main chance, so necessary in realizing the comforts of life.
[13] these sordid ideas were opposed by dashall and the 'squire, to whom they seemed particularly directed. mrs. tabitha smiled a gracious acquiescence in the sentiments of the two strangers, and jasper expressed his regret that nuncle was not gifted and fated as midas of ancient times, who transformed every thing that he touched into gold!
the egyptian and etruscan antiquities next attracted the attention of the visitors. over a doorway in this room is a fine portrait of sir william hamilton, painted by sir joshua reynolds. dashall and tallyho remarked with enthusiasm on these beautiful relics of the sculpture of former ages, several of which were mutilated and disfigured by the dilapidations of time and accident. of the company present, there stood on the left a diminutive elderly gentleman in the act of contemplating the fragment of a statue in a posterior position, and which certainly exhibited somewhat of a ludicrous appearance; on the right, the exquisite jasper pointed out, with the self-sufficiency of an amateur, the masculine symmetry of a colossian statue to his aunt of antiquated virginity, whose maiden purity recoiling from the view of nudation, seemed to say, “jaz, wrap an apron round him!” while in the foreground stood the rotunditive form of timothy surety, who declared, after a cursory and contemptuous glance at the venerable representatives of mythology, “that with the exception of the portrait of sir william hamilton, there was not in the room an object worth looking at; and as for them there ancient statutes,” (such was his vernacular idiom and bearbinder barbarism) “i would not give twopence for the whole of this here collection, if it was never for nothing else than to set them up as scare-crows in the garden of my country house at edmonton!”
jasper whispered his aunt, that nuncks was a vile bore; and the sacrilegious declaration gave great offence to the diminutive gentleman aforesaid, who hesitated not in pronouncing timothy surety destitute of taste and vertu; to which accusation timothy, rearing his squat form to its utmost altitude, indignantly replied, “that there was not an alderman in the city of london of better taste than himself in the qualities of callipash and callipee, and that if the little gemmen presumed again to asperse his vartue, he would bring an action against him tor slander and defamation of character.” the minikin man gave timothy a glance of ineffable disdain, and left the room. mrs. [14] tabitha, in the full consciousness of her superior acquirements, now directed a lecture of edification to her brother, who, however, manfully resisted her interference, and swore, that “where his taste and vartue were called in question he would not submit to any she in the universe.”
mrs. tabitha, finding that on the present occasion her usual success would not predominate, suspended, like a skilful manoeuvreist, unavailable attack, and, turning to her nephew, required to know what personage the tall figure before them was meant to represent. jasper felt not qualified correctly to answer this enquiry, yet unwilling to acknowledge his ignorance, unhesitatingly replied, “one of the ancient race of architects who built the giant's causeway in the north of ireland.” this sapient remark excited a smile from the two friends, who shortly afterwards took an opportunity of withdrawing from further intercourse with the bearbinder triumviri, and enjoyed with a more congenial party the remaining gratification which this splendid national institution is so well calculated to inspire.
extending their observations to the various interesting objects of this magnificent establishment, the two prominent heroes of our eventful history derived a pleasure only known to minds of superior intelligence, to whom the wonders of art and nature impart the acmé of intellectual enjoyment.
having been conducted through all the different apartments, the two friends, preparing to depart, the 'squire tendered a pecuniary compliment to the guide, in return for his politeness, but which, to the surprise of the donor, was refused; the regulations of the institution strictly prohibiting the acceptance by any of its servants of fee or reward from a visitor, under the penalty of dismissal.{1}
1 although the limits of this work admit not a minute detail
of the rarities of the british museum, yet a succinct
enumeration of a few particulars may not prove unacceptable
to our readers.
in the first room, which we have already noticed, besides
the egyptian and etruscan antiquities, is a stand filled
with reliques of ancient egypt, amongst which are numerous
small representatives of mummies that were used as patterns
for those who chose and could afford to be embalmed at their
decease.
the second apartment is principally devoted to works of art,
be-ginning with mexican curiosities. the corners opposite
the light are occupied by two egyptian mummies, richly
painted, which were both brought from the catacombs of
sakkara, near grand cairo.
the third room exhibits a rich collection of curiosities
from the south pacific ocean, brought by capt. cook. in the
left corner is the mourning dress of an otaheitean lady, in
which taste and barbarity are curiously blended. opposite
are the rich cloaks and helmets of feathers from the
sandwich islands.
the visitor next enters the manuscript department, the first
room of which is small, and appropriated chiefly to the
collections of sir hans sloane. the next room is completely
filled with sir robert harley's manuscripts, afterwards earl
of oxford, one of the most curious of which is a volume of
royal letters, from 1437 to the time of charles i.. the next
and last room of the manuscript department is appropriated
to the ancient royal library of manuscripts, and sir robert
cotton's, with a few-later donations. on the table, in the
middle of the room, is the famous magna charta of king john;
it is written on a large roll of parchment, and was much
damaged in the year 1738, when the cotton library took fire
at westminster, but a part of the broad seal is yet annexed.
we next reach the great saloon, which is finely ornamented
with fresco paintings by baptiste. here are a variety of
roman remains, such as dice, tickets for the roman theatres,
mirrors, seals for the wine casks, lamps, &c. and a
beautiful bronze head of homer, which was found near
constantinople.
the mineral room is the next object of attention. here are
fossils of a thousand kinds, and precious stones, of various
colours and splendours, composing a collection of
astonishing beauty and magnificence.
next follows the bird room; and the last apartment contains
animals in spirits, in endless variety. and here the usual
exhibition of the house closes.
[15] issuing from the portals of the museum, “apropos,” said dashall, “we are in the vicinity of russell-square, the residence of my stock-broker; i have business of a few moments continuance to transact with him—let us proceed to his residence.”
a lackey, whose habiliment, neat but not gaudy, indicated the unostentatious disposition of his master,, answered the summons of the knocker: “mr. c. was gone to his office at the royal exchange.”
“the gentleman who occupies this mansion,” observed dashall to his friend, as they retired from the door, “illustrates by his success in life, the truth of the maxim so frequently impressed on the mind of the school-boy, that perseverance conquers all difficulties. mr. c, unaided by any other recommendation than that of his own unassuming modest merit, entered the very [16] respectable office of which he is now the distinguished principal, in the situation of a young man who has no other prospect of advancement than such as may accrue from rectitude of conduct, and the consequent approbation and patronage of his employer. by a long exemplary series of diligence and fidelity, he acquired the confidence of, and ultimately became a partner in the firm. his strictly conscientious integrity and uniform gentlemanly urbanity have thus gained him a preference in his profession, and an ample competency is now the well-merited meed of his industry.”
“combining with its enjoyment,” responded the 'squire, “the exercise of benevolent propensities.”
“exactly so much so, that his name appears as an annual subscriber to nearly all the philanthropic institutions of the metropolis, and his private charities besides are numerous and reiterated.”
“this, then, is one of the few instances (said the 'squire) of real life in london, where private fortune is so liberally applied in relief of suffering humanity—it is worthy of indelible record.”
circumambulating the square, the two observers paused opposite the fine statue of the late francis duke of bedford.
the graceful proportion, imposing elevation, and commanding attitude of the figure, together with the happy combination of skill and judgment by the artist, in the display on the pedestal of various agricultural implements, indicating the favourite and useful pursuits of this estimable nobleman, give to the whole an interesting appearance, and strongly excite those feelings of regret which attend the recollection of departed worth and genius. proceeding down the spacious new street directly facing the statue, our perambulators were presently in bedford-square, in which is the effigy of the late eminent statesman charles james fox: the figure is in à sitting posture, unfavourable to our reminiscences of the first orator of any age or country, and is arrayed in the roman toga: the face is a striking likeness, but the effect on the whole is not remarkable. the two statues face each other, as if still in friendly recognition; but the sombre reflections of dashall and his friend were broke in upon by a countryman with, “beant that measter fox, zur?” “his effigy, my [17]friend.” “aye, aye, but what the dickens ha've they wrapt a blanket round un vor?”
proceeding along charlotte street, bloomsbury, the associates in search of real life were accosted by a decent looking countryman in a smock-frock, who, approaching them in true clod-hopping style, with a strong provincial accent, detailed an unaffectedly simple, yet deep tale of distress:
“——oppression fore'd from his cot,
his cattle died, and blighted was his corn!”
the story which he told was most pathetic, the tears the while coursing each other down his cheeks; and dashall and his friend were about to administer liberally to his relief, the former observing, “there can be no deception here,” when the applicant was suddenly pounced upon by an officer, as one of the greatest impostors in the metropolis, who, with the eyes of argus, could transform themselves into a greater variety of shapes than proteus, and that he had been only fifty times, if not more, confined in different houses of correction as an incorrigible rogue and vagabond, from one of which he had recently contrived to effect his escape. the officer now bore off his prize in triumph, while dashall, hitherto “the most observant of all observers,” sustained the laugh of his cousin at the knowing one deceived, with great good humour, and dashall, adverting to his opinion so confidently expressed, “there can be no deception here,” declared that in london it was impossible to guard in every instance against fraud, where it is frequently practised with so little appearance of imposition.
the two friends now bent their course towards covent garden, which, reaching without additional incident, they wiled away an hour at robins's much to their satisfaction. that gentleman, in his professional capacity, generally attracts in an eminent degree the attention of his visitors by his professional politeness, so that he seldom fails to put off an article to advantage; and yet he rarely resorts to the puff direct, and never indulges in the puff figurative, so much practised by his renowned predecessor, the late knight of the hammer, christie, the elder, who by the superabundancy of his rhetorical [18]flurishes, was accustomed from his elevated rostrum to edify and amuse his admiring auditory.{1}
of the immense revenues accruing to his grace the duke of bedford, not the least important is that derived from covent garden market. as proprietor of the ground, from every possessor of a shed or stall, and from all who take their station as venders in the market, a rent is payable to his grace, and collected weekly; considering, therefore, the vast number of occupants, the aggregate rental must be of the first magnitude. his grace is a humane landlord, and his numerous tenantry of covent garden are always ready to join in general eulogium on his private worth, as is the nation at large on the patriotism of his public character.
dashall conducted his friend through every part of the market, amidst a redundancy of fruit, flowers, roots and vegetables, native and exotic, in variety and profusion, exciting the merited admiration of the squire, who observed, and perhaps justly, that this celebrated emporium unquestionably is not excelled by any other of a similar description in the universe.
1 the late mr. christie having at one time a small tract of
land under the hammer, expatiated at great length on its
highly improved state, the exuberant beauties with which
nature had adorned this terrestrial paradise, and more
particularly specified a delightful hanging wood.
a gentleman, unacquainted with mr. christie's happy talent
at exaggerated description, became the highest bidder, paid
his deposit, and posted down into essex to examine his new
purchase, when, to his great surprise and disappointment, he
found no part of the description realized, the promised
paradise having faded into an airy vision, “and left not a
wreck behind!” the irritated purchaser immediately returned
to town, and warmly expostulated with the auctioneer on the
injury he had sustained by unfounded representation; “and as
to a hanging wood, sir, there is not the shadow of a tree on
the spot!” “i beg your pardon, sir,” said the pertinacious
eulogist, “you must certainly have overlooked the gibbet on
the common, and if that is not a hanging wood, i know not
what it is!”
another of mr. christie's flights of fancy may not unaptly
be termed the puff poetical. at an auction of pictures,
dwelling in his usual strain of eulogium on the unparalleled
excellence of a full-length portrait, without his producing
the desired effect, “gentlemen,” said he, “1 cannot, in
justice to this sublime art, permit this most invaluable
painting to pass from under the hammer, without again
soliciting the honour of your attention to its manifold
beauties. gentlemen, it only wants the touch of prometheus
to start from the canvass and fall abidding!”
[19] proceeding into leicester square, the very extraordinary production of female genius, miss linwood's gallery of needlework promised a gratification to the squire exceeding in novelty any thing which he had hitherto witnessed in the metropolis. the two friends accordingly entered, and the anticipations of tallyho were superabundantly realized.
this exhibition consists of seventy-five exquisite copies in needlework, of the finest pictures of the english and foreign schools, possessing all the correct drawing, just colouring, light and shade of the original pictures from whence they are taken, and to which in point of effect they are in no degree inferior.
from the door in leicester square the visitants entered the principal room, a fine gallery of excellent proportions, hung with scarlet broad-cloth, gold bullion tassels, and greek borders. the appearance thus given to the room is pleasing, and indicated to the squire a still more superior attraction. his cousin dashall had frequently inspected this celebrated exhibition, but' to tallyho it was entirely new.
on one side of this room the pictures are hung, and have a guard in front to keep the company at the requisite distance, and for preserving them.
turning to the left, a long and obscure passage prepares the mind, and leads to the cell of a prison, on looking into which is seen the beautiful lady jane gray, visited by the abbot and keeper of the tower the night before her execution.
this scene particularly elicited the squire's admiration; the deception of the whole, he observed, was most beautiful, and not exceeded by any work from the pencil of the painter, that he had ever witnessed. a little farther on is a cottage, the casement of which opens, and the hatch at the door is closed; and, on looking in at either, our visitants perceived a fine and exquisitely finished copy of gainsborough's cottage children standing by the fire, with chimney-piece and cottage furniture compleat. near to this is gainsborough's woodman, exhibited in the same scenic manner.
having enjoyed an intellectual treat, which perhaps in originality as an exhibition of needlework is no where else to be met with, our perambulators retired, and reached home without the occurrence of any other remarkable incident.
