"what young bears most boys are!" said my uncle jack, watching his oldest hope pushing his sister in the swing so vigorously that she almost fell out, and then pulling one side of the rope at a time, making her fairly dizzy with swaying from side to side while she alternately screamed and entreated.
"just about the same, all of them," uncle jack went on. "talk about boyish chivalry, i never found it, especially toward a boy's own kith and kin. there may be some highland marys with juvenile adorers, but nine times out of ten a boy would rather frighten a girl than kiss her. my john here's just a specimen. come here, sir," raising his voice. "do you want to hear a story about the days when i was just such another cub as yourself?"
[pg 144]
this suggestion brought john and his sister both in from the swing. when uncle jack began to "spin a yarn," as he often called it, all the family were sure to want to be present at its unravelling.
"you see," he began, "my sister nelly wasn't my sister at all; but it was all the same, as far as my feeling for her went. when i was only three years old my mother's best friend died, and left nelly, a little, wailing, two-months-old baby, to my mother's care. her father had been killed before she was born, in a railroad accident, so there was no one but my mother to see to her; and she brought the little thing home and adopted her, thankfully enough, for though she had four good stout boys, of whom i was the youngest, there was never a girl in the family till nelly came.
"we all loved her, as she grew older. she was a pretty little blossom as you would want to see, with her black eyes, and the crisp, black hair falling about her rosy cheeks. she had a funny little rose-bud of a mouth, too, and the daintiest little figure,—well-made all through, and no mistake about it.
"i think i loved her, if any thing, better than[pg 145] the rest did, considering that she was nearer my age, and so we were more continually together, but, bless you, there wasn't any chivalry in it. it didn't keep me from painting her doll's face black, or hiding its shoes, or from listening when she was talking with her girl cronies, and then bursting out among them, and yelling their choicest secret to the four winds.
"i would have knocked any boy down, from the time i was big enough to use my fists, who had said a saucy word to nelly; but i said plenty of them myself. i believe i liked to tease her for the sake of hearing her beg me not to; just as i've seen you tease your sister a hundred times, master john.
"you would think she would have hated me: but that's one curious thing about girls and women; they don't always hate where you would naturally expect them to; and nelly cared a good deal more about me than i deserved. she seemed to be proud of me, because i was a great, strong, roystering fellow, and she never bore malice for any of the tricks i served her.
[pg 146]
"i have wondered many a time since how i could have had the heart to torment her, for she never once tried to revenge herself on me, nor can i recollect her ever being angry with me. when i got myself into disgrace with parents or teachers, it was always her gentle voice which pleaded for me, and hard enough folks found it to say no to her, whether it was the dark eyes and bright cheeks, or a little winning, coaxing way she had.
"when i was fourteen and nelly was eleven we went one day to a huckleberry picnic. we had great fun all the afternoon, and stayed a good deal later than we meant to, so that it was almost dark when we started to go home. we had two miles to walk, and the first half of the distance our way lay with the rest of the company. i had got well stirred up by the general merriment, and wasn't half satisfied with the frolic ending there.
"nelly, i remembered afterwards, was very quiet, and seemed tired. she was a delicate little thing, any way, and got worn out with fatigue or excitement a good deal sooner than most of her mates. finally our road turned off away from the[pg 147] rest, and led through a long pine wood. as we went on under the thick trees it grew darker and darker, and nelly cuddled up closer to my side.
"you'd have thought that at fourteen i was old enough for chivalry, and that sort of thing, if i was ever going to be; but not a bit of it,—i was just a great, strong, rollicking boy, with some heart, to be sure, but liking fun better than any thing, and headstrong and inconsiderate to an extent which i am ashamed to remember. full still of unexhausted animal spirits, and, as i said, not half satisfied with the frolic i had had, i began, in default of other amusement, to tease nelly.
"i told her a ghastly story or two, and then i would rush away from her among the thick trees, as if in pursuit of something, and come back again to her side, in a few minutes. i wanted her to scream after me, but she didn't. she was so still that i actually thought she didn't care; and after a while i grew vexed because i couldn't vex her, and make her implore me to stay with her, and confess her dependence upon me.
"at last, when we were about a third of a mile[pg 148] from home, a path led through the woods, branching off from the main path on which we were, to the farm where my greatest crony lived. i thought of something i wanted to say to him. here was a chance, to tease nelly well,—let her see whether she was just as comfortable without me as with me.
"you look at me as if you didn't believe i could have been such a brute; but i was, and what is more, i did not at all realize at the time that i was doing any harm. that nelly would have a little scare, and hurry home somewhat faster than usual, was the most i apprehended; so i said, with a sort of boyish swagger,—
"'it just occurs to me that there is something i want to say to hal somers, and we are so near home now that you won't be afraid, so i'll just branch off there. tell mother i had supper enough at the picnic, and she needn't wait for me.'
"it was too dark to look at nelly, or perhaps her white face, sad and frightened as i know it must have been, would have turned me from my purpose. she did not speak one word, and i struck off at a tearing pace through the woods.
[pg 149]
"by the time i had reached hal somers's place, i began to get sobered down a little, and to feel somewhat uncomfortable about what i had done. i had to wait a few minutes before i could see him, but i did my errand briefly, and it was not more than an hour after i had left nelly before i myself was at home. i found mother in the porch, looking out anxiously.
"'i'm so glad you've come, children,' she cried, when she heard my footsteps, and then, as i drew nearer, 'why, jack, where is nelly?'"
"'here, i suppose,' i answered, trying to face the music boldly. 'i left her about an hour ago in the woods, where the path branches off to go to hal somers's, and she had nothing to do but to come straight home.'
"'you left nelly in the woods, an hour ago!' my mother cried, in a tone which made my heart stand still, and then turn over with a great leap. and then she sprang by me like some wild creature, and called through the darkness to my father to come with his lantern, quick, quick, for nelly had been alone in the dark woods for an hour.
[pg 150]
"instantly, as it seemed to me, my father and my oldest brother were following mother along the woodland path, and i stole after them, feeling like a second cain. it was but a very few minutes before we came up to nelly, for there she was, just where i left her. she had sunk to the ground, and was half sitting there, her back leaning against a tree beside the path. the light from the lantern flashed on her face, a face white and set as death, but with the wide-open eyes glaring fearfully into the dark beyond.
"it was my mother who touched her first; and felt to see whether her heart had stopped beating.
"'is she dead?' my father asked huskily.
"'i don't know. it seems to me i can feel the very faintest throb, but i cannot tell until we get her home. if she isn't dead, i am afraid she is worse,—frightened out of her senses, for ever.'
"then father and william made preparations to carry her. i asked, timidly, if i could help. i think none of them had noticed before that i was there.
"'you!' my father said, with such concentrated[pg 151] scorn and wrath in his voice as i cannot describe; and then mother said, more mildly, but so sadly it was worse than any anger,—
"'no, i trusted her to you once. i supposed you loved her.'
"so i saw them move off, carrying her between them, and i followed after like an outcast, until it occurred to me that, at least, i could call a physician. so i flew by them like the wind, and off on the road to town. by some singular good fortune, if we ought not always to say providence and never fortune, before i had gone forty rods i met dr. greene, who was coming in our direction to visit a patient. so i had him with me on the door-stone when they brought nelly in.
"i did not dare to go into the room where they carried her; but i waited outside in an agony which punished me already for my sin. at last my mother had pity on me and looked out.
"'she is not dead, jack,' she said, 'but she is still insensible, and until she is restored to consciousness there is no telling what the result will be.'
[pg 152]
"then an awful terror came over me, which i cannot put into words. what if she died, or what if she never had her reason again? who in that house would ever bear to look at me? when cain had murdered his brother he had to go forth alone,—what was left for me, another cain, but to go also alone into the world?
"we lived nine miles away from a seaport town from which whaling vessels were continually starting, and it came into my mind that i might ship on board one for a three years' cruise; and, by the time it was over, the folks at home might have learned to forgive me for being in the world. so off through the night i hurried.
"how strangely our ways seem made ready for us, often, in the great moments, big with fate, of our lives! i found a whaler which was to sail in the early morning, a captain disappointed in one of his green hands, whose place i could have, and before i had been half an hour in the town my bargain was made, i had been fitted out with necessaries, and i went into a tavern to write a note to my mother.
[pg 153]
"a strange, incoherent note it was; but it told her where i was gone and why, and begged her, whatever came, to forgive her boy, who loved her, and who might never see her again.
"never mind about the long, long days, and weeks, and months which followed,—the empty hours of solemn nights and gusty days, during which i was face to face with my own soul.
"of course before a week had gone by i was sorry enough for the rash step i had taken. it seemed to me i could not live for three years and not know what had become of nelly. i would have gone barefoot to the ends of the earth to find out about her, but i could not walk the sea. i was growing so wild with grief and anxiety that i sometimes think i should have walked overboard some night, and so ended all my pain for this world, if providence had not raised me up a friend in my need—only a common sailor, and a man whose strange history i never knew, but a gentleman and a scholar, in whose locker were milton, and shakespeare, and don quixote.
"i had studied pretty well at school; and was[pg 154] rather forward than otherwise, for a boy of fourteen; and i have sometimes thought no course of study in any school would have been so much to me as was the entire absence of frivolous and worthless literature, and the constant companionship of these great minds. besides these, i read daily in my pocket testament; and i owed a great deal also to the instructions and explanations of the friend who was, as it has always seemed to me, god's especial gift to my needs.
"our voyage appeared destined, at first, to be a highly successful one; but just as we were nearly ready to return, we encountered a storm which strewed the sea with wrecks. we saw our vessel go down, but we were fortunate enough to escape in our boats; my friend and i, and two or three more, were with the second mate in his boat, and we were soon separated from the others. we made land on a fruitful island, peopled by savages who were not unfriendly; but it was many months before, at last, we got away in an east indiaman, and while we were on the island my friend had died suddenly, leaving untold the story of his life.
[pg 155]
"i will not enter into the particulars of my return home,—how from port to port and ship to ship i made my way, until, at length, after five years of absence, i sighted the well-known landmarks of the old town from whence i embarked.
"how familiar it all looked to me! i knew every field through which the homeward road led, and i walked the nine miles between the town and my father's farm in the night, as i had done before. it was three o'clock of a september morning when i reached the old place, and i had nearly two hours to wait before there were any signs of life about it. for now, after all these years, i had not the courage to summon them from their rest. how i passed those waiting hours, divided betwixt hope and fear, you can guess. i lived over in them all the torturing anxieties of the last five years. was nelly dead or alive? should i ever see my mother again? what had changed, while the old house among the trees had stood so still?
"at last i heard a sound. a door opened, and my mother, who of old always used to be[pg 156] the first to move, looked out. her hair was white, and her thin cheeks were pale; but i knew the kind eyes that looked forth to meet the morning, and should have known them despite any amount of change. i sprang forward to greet her.
"'mother,' i said. she knew my voice and turned toward me trembling.
"'o jack, jack! i thought you were dead long ago. o my boy, my own boy!'
"and her arms were round my neck, her tender lips were kissing me; and so she drew me in, into peace, shelter, home.
"'and nelly?' i asked, half afraid to call the name.
"'nelly is well. oh, if you had but waited to see. she was ill for awhile, but no serious harm came to her; and, instead, it was my own boy who went away to break my heart.'
"'and has come back to heal it,' i cried, growing bold and merry with my relief and joy.
"by this time the rest heard us, and came to the scene,—father, brothers, and last of all,[pg 157] nelly; such a beautiful nelly of sweet sixteen, ten times fairer and brighter than my brightest memories of her, and all ready to forgive me, and make much of me.
"then was when the chivalry began. then i was ready enough to fetch and carry for miss nelly of the dark eyes and the bright cheeks."
"oh," said john, laughing, "then when a fellow is nineteen he can be chivalrous to his own sister?"
"very likely he can," uncle jack answered, "but my experience doesn't prove it; for i began to be glad, very soon indeed, that nelly was only my adopted sister, after all. it was a good while before i got my courage up to ask her whether she would trust herself to me on the long home stretch through life. be sure that i promised her, if she would, that i'd never leave her in any dark places."
"and what did she say?"
"oh! i mustn't tell her secrets. go and ask her. there she comes, with her first grandchild in her arms. her cheeks are not bright now, she[pg 158] says, but somehow they look to me just as they used to look; and i know her eyes are as dark and deep as ever; and though i call her 'mother,' with the rest of you, when you are all round, there is never a night that i don't say to her, before she goes to sleep, 'god bless you, nelly!'"
