my father’s extreme severity made me rather glad when in about a week’s time miss birch began to make preparations for my departure to belgium, and in less than three weeks i found myself installed as a pupil in the seminary of the ursuline nuns at brussels. the lady superior struck me from the very first as being a frightfully severe woman; the morning after 26my arrival she sent for me to hear her read my father’s instructions, and remarked that he had given her carte blanche as to punishment, and that in their school discipline was strictly enforced. “remember, young lady,” said she, in dismissing me from her presence, “we never overlook a fault, and that my word is law here.”
my face flushed with indignation, and tears filled my eyes as i left the apartment, fully assured in my own mind that i must soon experience a taste of their discipline, nor had i long to wait, for two days after, having confidentially expressed my disgust to another pupil, with respect to the coarse fare set before us at meals, i soon found i had been talking to a tell-tale spy, who carried everything to the superior.
an elderly nun quietly told me she had been sent to conduct me to the private room of the lady superior. my time was come, and i followed my chaperone with trembling anxiety.
27our superior was a stern looking woman of about forty-five, with dark piercing eyes and roman nose, thin compressed lips considerably adding to the severity of her expression.
“mdlle. lucille,” said the superior, “i thought the caution i gave you on your arrival, would at least have saved you from trouble for some time, and spared me the pain of inflicting personal correction on you so soon after your entry into our seminary, but i am afraid your papa must have had serious cause for wishing me to be severe with you; now what have you been saying to your fellow pupil the mdlle. olive; did you remark, ‘that the food was not fit for a dog, much less schoolgirls’?”
i looked down in confusion, “ah, i see,” she continued, “you cannot deny it; well lucille, i hope soon to convince you that our bill of fare is both wholesome and proper for the pupils, i shall give you one dozen cuts with the rod, and then let you off if you promise not to offend in the same way again.”
28the nun who was called serena, now placed a long stool in the middle of the apartment, and made me lie on it full length face downwards, then i felt her cold busy hands as they turned up my clothes, and opened my drawers behind, till my bottom was left naked to the attack of the lady superior.
“do you, mdlle. lucille,” she asked sternly, “consider that our fare of bread and porridge three times a day, and meat or soup twice a week, added for dinner is only fit for a dog? ah! ha!” she went on, cutting me slowly and severely at every few words, “this will give you a better appetite; how do you like birch sauce, miss dainty mouth?”
i screamed with the pain, and plunged about so that sister serena had to hold me down with all her weight upon my shoulders. “forgive me, oh, forgive me this time, i won’t speak to olive again!” i gasped out as the heavy woman almost stopped my breath, but at last it was over, and after kissing the rod and making me 29look at the blood-stained weals on my bottom, they sent me away with a caution how i spoke about that or anything else i might see done in the convent.
i longed to have my revenge on the deceitful olive, but knew not where to turn for a confidant, they all perhaps would be equally treacherous. i stuck to my lessons and avoided punishment as much as possible, being assured that the longer i brooded on my revenge the more complete it would be in the end, at the same time i thoroughly studied every part of the building to which i was allowed access, in the hope i might some day find it very useful if i wanted to effect my escape.
the nuns i believe slept in dormitories, where there were a dozen or more together, but every pupil had a very small room to herself, mine was in a long corridor, and olive’s three or four doors from mine, there were neither locks or bolts to any door, as the lady superior and elder sisters were 30supposed to take frequent peeps at us in our sleep; i had at last matured my plan, and having everything in readiness, one dark night when there was not even a glimpse of moonlight, i patiently watched till some of the principals had paid the accustomed visit, and heard the cracked voice of an old nun say, “fast asleep,” as i feigned to be in a deep slumber.
soon their footsteps died away in the corridor, and after waiting some time, till i felt sure every pupil must be again asleep, if the going round should have awakened them, i crept out of bed, and providing myself with some pins and a strong piece of cord, was soon at the bedside of the treacherous girl i wanted to serve out; my first act was to quietly pass my cord around her, outside the small bed, so that i could suddenly draw it tight and secure her a helpless victim in my power then suddenly stuffing the bedclothes into her mouth before she could scream out, ordered her in a rough whisper to keep quiet 31or i would kill her; it was too dark to see her terrified face, but she shuddered all over, and seemed as if her very blood was chilled, so cold did she seem to my touch.
taking advantage of her fright, hands and feet were instantly tied so that she was spread out in a helpless fashion; i made her own handkerchief, which i happened to get hold of, into a gag, and at the same time could feel the drops of cold sweat upon her temples. now i turned up the bedclothes or pushed them off, as i was tying the cord, till she was quite naked from the bosom downwards.
my hands roved over the soft, firm, naked flesh of her belly, then to the mount of love, which i found just beginning to be fledged with silky down. my fingers sought the crack below, and i could not help amusing myself by frigging her with all my might, the two first fingers of my right hand ruthlessly pushing into her cunny, and i knew caused her intense pain; from the slight 32groans which the gag could not entirely suppress.
what pleasure it was to me to torture her by my roughness, and outrage her every sense of modesty, although i was too ignorant at the time to know that my fingers were actually taking the poor girl’s virginity; a kind of fury possessed me, and i actually bit the lips of her cunny, and munched off as much of the silky down as i could bite away; the pain must have been intense, and her writhing, shuddering agony was so much bliss to me.
at last to finish her off i got a piece of the cord, and passing it right along her crack, tied it round her thighs and waist as tightly and painfully as possible, and then for ornament stuck a lot of pins in the plumb cheeks of her bottom and left them there.
my revenge was complete, so wiping my fingers on the bedclothes, for fear of any blood-stains, &c., i left my victim just as she was, to be tormented by her horrible 33pains and fears till some one might find it out, and release her in the morning.
this outrage was never discovered, my victim was found insensible next morning, and remained in a delirious state for three or four weeks before she recovered consciousness, and then the agony and terror she had endured on that awful night had so turned her brain that she believed it was the devil who had so grossly ill-used her, but i heard that one of the father confessors was strongly suspected of having committed the atrocity.
the superior, with whom olive had been a favourite, now vented her spite in every direction amongst the young lady pupils of the seminary, and i for one soon fell under her displeasure, and was ordered to be tied up to their whipping post; it was only for slightly oversleeping myself, and not dressing quickly when the bell rang for us to get up at 6 a.m.
i was suspended by my wrists being tied high up the post as i stood upon a small 34footstool, then it was suddenly kicked away, the jerk of the sudden strain on my wrists almost making the straps cut into the flesh. my feet were dangling some inches from the ground, “oh! oh! ah—r—r—r—re!” i screamed, “how cruel! oh! papa! papa! if you only knew how they are treating me in this awful place!”
lady superior (who seemed delighted at the sight of my pain),—“hold your foolish noise, mdlle. lucille, wait till you have something to scream about, girl.” then the old serena, who it seemed was always in attendance at punishment time, pinned up my skirts and opened my drawers behind, and the superior went on, “this rod shall make all the sluggards turn out quicker in the morning; what do you think, mademoiselle, of making us all wait prayers for ten minutes? will you wake—wake—wake up sharper in future?”
she gave me three smarting cuts at each word, and my suspended position added so 35much to the intensity of my pain, that i screamed, kicked, and plunged about as i swung by my wrists from the post. “sister serena,” exclaimed the superior, “keep the girl steady or i cannot plant my cuts as effectually as i ought to do upon her naughty impudent bottom, she shan’t sleep for a week if i can only make it sore enough!” serena now held me to the post with one hand, to prevent my swaying about, whilst the rod rained a succession of withering, scorching cuts on my buttocks, and just underneath the parting of the cheeks of my bottom. my screams were heartrending, but they only seemed to enjoy it more and the superior never ended her objurgations till the rod was worn out.
things now went on till i was nearly fourteen, we never had a holiday, and only short letters came to me from home, in which my father constantly expressed his hopes of my improvement, and seemed quite oblivious to all i had written from time to time about my 36severe treatment, and begging him to remove me to some other school.
i afterwards found out that my home letters were regularly suppressed, and others more suitable were written and sent to papa, in my name; what wretch that superior now appears in my eyes, she not only delighted in whipping us nearly to death, but forget letters to our parents so as to keep her pupils, and make everything appear couleur de rose.
perhaps, dear rosa, you have heard that i managed to escape from that dreadful convent, but previous to that they nearly killed me. i was getting quite a big girl, my pussey already sported its silken down on the mons veneris, which we all consider such an ornament to our secret charms.
the superior had lately taken much notice of me, and introduced me to a clique of her favourites, three or four pretty girls about my own age, who were often indulged with little treats in her private room; there, we girls 37were encouraged and instructed in all kinds of lascivious ideas; we looked at each other’s cunnies, tickled and kissed each other in every possible way, the superior encouraging us, and suggesting a variety of attitudes for us to try. she had a huge godemiche, about nine inches long, and very thick, which she would fit upon one of the girls, and then submit herself to be fucked as hard as possible, whilst the other girls had to turn up the girl’s skirts, and smack her bottom hard and fast, with the palms of their hands, to make the young gentleman (as the superior called her partner) work fast and vigorously.
then she would have us all strip naked, whilst we had in turn to kiss and suck her cunt, when it was all slimy with her spendings.
i did not mind the slapping, or allowing any one to kiss and tongue-fuck my cunny, but the superior’s was so hairy, and had such meaty looking lips, and a huge clitoris, 38(which i now know is induced by long-continued self-abuse), and it smelt so fishy, that i absolutely declined the honour of gamahuching her, and nothing could induce me to do so.
this so enraged her that she flew at me like a tigress. i was knocked down, and beaten with a thick stick, till my flesh was bruised all over, and then picked up, almost fainting, and hurried off to my own little room.
perhaps nothing further would have happened, but in my innocence, i supposed my letters were sent home just as i sealed them up, so i wrote to miss birch a full account of what i had been seduced into, and the dreadful beating i had received, for not liking the cunt of the lady superior.
the very next day after i thought the letter was gone, the old nun, serena, fetched me into a dull gloomy room, which i had never been in before, but at once rightly judged to be a punishment chamber, when i saw a high 39whipping post, made of a square beam, set upright in the floor, with two rings near the top on each side, by which to tie up the victim; a birch rod was hanging on the wall, and two scourges with long things lay upon a seat at one end, but i had no time for further observation, as the superior seemed to follow us into the room almost immediately.
“now, mdlle. lucille,” she exclaimed, grinding her teeth in rage, “you shall rue the insult you put upon me the other day, before my special favourites, of which i had minded to make you one, so that when you left the seminary you might look back with pleasure to the loving amusements i had first introduced you to; perhaps i should have overlooked it all, but see i have your letter. ha! ha!! you little fool to think that would ever go out of the convent!”
sister serena had by this time put me on a stool, and was fastening my wrists one on each side of the post, and presently the stool 40was removed, and i found myself just touching the floor with the tips of my toes.
“what a beautiful position, how she will twist about and scream when she feels the scourge, make haste to bare her bottom, as i am burning to pay her out. ha! ha!! mdlle. lucille, i fancy you wouldn’t mind kissing my cunt now if i promised to let you off,” said the superior spitefully.
my courage and natural obstinacy came to my assistance at the moment, i was so indignant, and the idea was so repulsive to me that i resolved rather to die than do that for her; i was frightened and yet flushed with shame and indignation at my treatment, besides something seemed to advise me to irritate my tormentor to do her worst, and get it over quickly.
“no! no!! no, never!!! you may kill me, and then i should be out of my misery!” i exclaimed.
she scowled with ferocity, but said with all the calmness she could command, “make 41haste, serena, up with her clothes, and open the drawers well, and keep her as steady as possible.” then taking up the instrument of punishment i could see it consisted of five or six long thongs of whipcord, plaited and knotted at the ends, fixed on a very elastic handle.
it was poised in her hand for a moment, and then brought down with stinging force on my exposed buttocks, then again, and again, and again, in quick succession; each cut seemed to sear the flesh as if done by a red hot iron, my piercing screams filled the whole place, and the superior, her eyes sparkling with ferocious joy, jeered me about how i liked the scourge. “how lovely you look, mdlle. lucille, as you plunge and scream, and i know the intense agony of every cut; would you rather die now, my little dear? well, i’ve a good mind to kill you, outright, only i want to keep you as long as that dear, kind papa of yours is willing to pay! how he must have loved his lucille, to place 42her with me; i’m so kind, so very kind, you know, my dear girl! what do you think of my kindness, you little love?”
her cuts were awful, and i swayed and plunged so that it was impossible for serena to keep my body steady, so she seized the other scourge, and tried her best to second the superior in her efforts to cut me up more and more.
at last they fairly panted for breath, as i was left dangling, sobbing and moaning, with my clothes torn, my drawers in shreds, and streaming with blood all down my thighs and legs.
fearing i might faint, they poured a little strong cordial down my parched throat, sponged my face with cold water, and put some strong snuff up my nose, which almost drove me into convulsions, so very violent was the fit of sneezing produced.
they seemed carried away with delight at the sight of my sufferings, and sprinkled a quantity of the snuff over the cuts on my 43bottom, just to dry up the blood, as they said with a laugh. next all my clothes were cut or torn off, till i had nothing on but slippers, stockings, and the remains of my drawers.
“now we’ll finish off the obstinate, impudent little beast, i wish i dare kill her,” said the superior, grinding her teeth, “only i should lose too much, she is worth more alive than dead.”
a couple of lady’s riding whips were now produced, and the two women attacked me afresh; i was cut all over my body, each cut seemed as if done with a red hot knife, the blood flowed down my back in streams, and yet their rage seemed to increase at the sight of my sufferings. my screams were awful, but only so much music to their ears. they jeered and derided my cries for “god to have mercy on me, &c.,” said “my time was come to die, but they would make me last as long as possible, and draw out my agony to the very last gasp.”
44this must all have passed in a very short time, but was an age of intense suffering to me, and the finale was such a display of ferocity that i sank under it, and thus robbed them of the pleasure of prolonging my torture. the superior seized me by the hair, and drawing my head back, lashed her whip across my face and bosom, drawing more blood at every cut, whilst old serena, not to be outdone, took my right leg under her arm, cut me dreadfully inside my thighs, along the crack of my pussey, and made the tip of her whip reach the mons veneris.
this was the last i could recollect, but when i came to myself i was in my own bed, wrapped up in cloths soaked in water. no bones were broken, and my health soon recovered sufficiently to enable me to effect my escape, and avoid their further malice.
