woman and her sphere
the life and position of woman in mexico varies much by reason of the heterogeneous character of the population. because of the absence of a clearly defined middle class it is a fairly safe proposition to say that there are but two classes in mexico, creoles and indians. creoles include all those who are europeans or in whom the european blood predominates. domestic life among the creole class savours of the east. the ideas with respect to women are moorish rather than american. although not obliged to appear on the street with face enshrouded in a shawl or veil, yet the young woman who has respect for her good name would not go abroad without the duenna, or some female companion. another reminder of oriental exclusiveness is seen in the life of the ladies of the wealthier classes who always drive in closed carriages even in this land of[163] balmy air and splendid sunshine and, when shopping, do not deign to leave the carriage.
on account of the restrictions against the appearance of women in public, the custom grew up in spain and mexico of allowing them to use the windows and balconies for observation. in the cool of the evening the windows on the streets are opened and women, especially the young ladies, appear there to watch the carriages and passers-by and nod to their friends. the home life and social restrictions toward women are inherited from spanish ancestors who were at one time the aristocracy and ruling class of mexico. nowhere is the sentiment of home stronger than among the creoles. there may be no such word as home in his vocabulary but the casa, or house, of the mexican is his castle and he protects it in every way from prying eyes. one writer has expressed his view as follows:—“the intense feeling of individuality which so strongly marks the spanish character and which in the political world is so fatal an element of strife and obstruction, favours this peculiar domesticity. the castillian is submissive to his king and his priest; haughty and inflexible with his equals. but his own house is a refuge from the contests of out of doors.”
[164]
in the home the father is absolute lord and master and all bow to him. there never comes a time when the children are not subject more or less to parental authority. yet, in general, the sway is so mild that it is readily yielded to and is scarcely felt. grown-up sons and daughters do not forget the respect and obedience that was expected of them when they were children. the reverence for parents increases with the passing of the years. a man never grows too old to kiss the hand of his aged mother. the old lady dressed in sombre black and who looks like a poor relation may be the one whose wishes rule. harmony does not exist in every family and the exceptions are striking ones. where quarrels and family dissensions do occur, the pride and jealousy of the race renders them the bitterest and fiercest in the world. these vindictive feuds in families frequently led to duels and stabbing affrays to defend personal honour and dignity in former days. a man and wife will often live for years beneath the same roof without speaking. they cannot be divorced but neither will speak the first word and each rather admires the grit of the other.
the home life is jealously shielded from curious eyes. in no place in the world is the[165] social circle more closely guarded than among the higher classes in the city of mexico. the thick walls, the barred, prison-like windows and the massive, well-guarded doors prevent intrusion and perhaps serve to foster this inclination to lead exclusive lives. cultured americans, unless in the official set, who have lived there for years have found it impossible to break into these exclusive circles. whether this action is due to jealousy, diffidence, a feeling of superiority, or aversion to aliens the fact remains that they are very loth to admit americans into the privacy of their homes. the foreigner has few opportunities of judging intelligently of the women for they are immured so closely within the four walls of their dwellings. social life in the semi-public, gregarious ways of american cities is unknown and would not suit these privacy-loving, domestic women.
in “the awakening of a nation” the author, mr. c. f. lummis, gives a very good description of the creole woman: “always and everywhere the spanish-american female face is interesting; at least as often as in other bloods it is beautiful. photographs tell but half the story, for complexion is beyond them. but a certain clearness of feature, the almost[166] invariable beauty of the eyes and fine strength of the brows seem as much a spanish birthright as the high-bred hand and foot. not even the parisian face is so flexible in expression, so fit for archness, so graphic to the mood. yet there is a certain presence in it not to be unnoticed, not to be forgotten. to no woman on earth is religion a more vital, ever-present, all-pervading actuality; and that is why you meet the face of the madonna almost literally at every corner in spanish-america. and it is not a superficial thing. there is none to whom the wife-heart, the mother-heart is truer-womanly.”
the mexican men are passionate admirers of the fair sex. perhaps it is because of the bewitchery of their black, sparkling eyes. certainly it is not on account of the white paste which is plastered over their faces or the rouge on their lips. nor have they added to their attractiveness by the substitution of the parisian hat for the graceful lace mantilla which lent itself so well to the gentle art of coquetry. there are many handsome women among the creoles but they are not all beautiful as some writers would lead the reader to infer. they are bright, vivacious and naturally clever. they have a quick understanding which only[167] needs to be cultivated and perhaps this intelligence is quicker and more active than that of the men. they can weave and embroider with taste and skill. they know a little music and a little french but, in the american sense, they are not well educated. the real intellectual element is wanting and the understanding is uncultivated. the higher education for women has not received the stamp of approval in this land of “to-morrow” and the sex has not yet become an important factor in the business or professional world. “if only learned wives,” says one, “are responsible for that poor, down-trodden, pitiable specimen of man called the henpecked husband, then a timid man would be safe in choosing a mexican wife.” the patriarchal element of society in which man is recognized as lord and master is still in force among these people. the question of woman’s rights has never yet agitated the bosoms of these gentle women.
domestic freedom in the sense understood by americans is absent. the daughters are closely watched by their mothers who seldom permit them out of their sight unless accompanied by some older woman or faithful servant. such a thing as permitting a daughter to have a young man call on her or accompany[168] her to the theatre would never enter the mind of the mexican mother. in her estimation the men do not deserve any confidence until they are married. the man, of course, thinks that these precautions are unnecessarily cruel. nevertheless mammas think they are essential, pater familias approves and so the custom remains. perhaps it is these restrictions that are responsible for the reputation the se?oritas, or young women, have of being flirts or coquettes. they are overflowing with life and spirits and their black eyes look so full of mischief that sometimes they seem to be just spoiling for a flirtation. they are very animated in conversation and in talking keep time with hands, knees, shoulders, elbows and face. their talk is full of the most extravagant and seemingly profane expressions.
“oh, jesus!” says one girl, “what a fetching hat.”
“mary most pure,” replies her companion, “it must have cost five pesos.”
they can stare an american out of countenance and look him straight in the eye but it is only a look of curiosity. the social pleasures resulting from the intermingling of the sexes that are so common with us are not enjoyed by them. at a dance the men retire to[169] one side of the room after a number and the women take seats on the opposite side. marriages among the wealthier classes are generally made by the parents without consultation with the principals in an affair supposed to be of the hearts. after the formal engagement the intended husband is allowed to call on his fiancée in the presence of the entire family and may take her out to the theatre when accompanied by the mother and all the female members of the household. marriage is a formidable undertaking for the groom must furnish the entire bridal outfit, in addition to the house and its furnishings. two ceremonies become necessary, too, if the couple wish to be married by the rites of the church. the civil ceremony is absolutely essential and cannot be dispensed with for under the law this is the only legal marriage. and yet with all these inconveniences to courtship and matrimony, bachelors are less numerous than they are where every facility is granted for love making.
love and religion are practically the only two subjects with which a se?orita is expected to concern herself. she is, probably, not intentionally or by nature a flirt and she might scorn to inveigle in her meshes the heart of[170] an admirer, but she cannot refrain from using her irresistible eyes or entirely avoid the coquettish use of the indispensable fan with its wordless telegraphy. the mexican lover pays extravagant homage to his sweetheart and a woman nowhere else is paid such delicate and elaborate compliments. the spanish method of courtship in which the lady is pictured as sitting at a barred window or leaning from a balcony to listen to the honeyed phrases of her lover or the music of his guitar has reached its highest state of perfection in mexico.
in the current language of that country a man who is courting a woman is “playing the bear.” it is so named from the restless walking to and fro of the love-stricken youth in front of the window of his inamorata, in a manner not unlike a captive bear in a cage. the same method pursued in the united states would either result in a man being sent to the lunatic asylum as suffering from a “brain storm” or to the workhouse.
“playing the bear”
a young man who sees a young lady on the street whom he admires, begins by following her home although it may be days or weeks before he will venture to speak to her. having reached her casa he will begin the hacer el oso, or “playing the bear,” by walking back[171] and forth in front of the house or standing on the street with his eyes fixed upon her windows or balconies for hours at a time, days and nights alike. the young lady, if interested at all, will remain back of the curtain and the slightest movement of the curtains or blinds is a sign that she is not entirely indifferent. after a day or two she may show her face or wave her hand as a further mark of encouragement, and after several days she may appear on the balcony for a few moments. if she goes to church the lover is probably not far behind and an occasional smile or glance from her eyes of midnight is given him as a reward for his faithfulness. next come daily salutes and smiles when the lover appears. flowers are sent by the aid of the water-carriers or charcoal-vendors in which notes are concealed. a system of wireless-telegraphy communication is established by means of a fan on one side and a cigarette on the other. this medium of communication has been developed until it has become an elaborate code. letters become more and more endearing. when the courtship has so far advanced that the lovers will talk, the moonlight nights are all devoted to the love-making and several pairs of lovers can be seen on almost any street by the late[172] home-comer—he on the sidewalk, she at the window. this courtship frequently extends over a period of years and the lover who makes himself so ridiculous sometimes loses the girl then. jacob’s seven-year probation has many counterparts among the romeos of mexico.
a young woman of my acquaintance and her sister recently visited a family in one of the large cities in mexico. like all young women they soon became interested in the subject of mexican courtship and began to sigh for a “bear.” every time they returned from a trip down town a watch was kept from the window to see if a “bear” followed. at last one of these creatures appeared and began to pace in front of the house with his eyes bent upon the window opening out on the balcony. contrary to all precedents and to the surprise of the neighbourhood, these women could not resist the temptation to go out on the balcony on this first occasion. this was such marked encouragement that the man came day after day to see las se?oritas americanas and was still coming when their visit ended.
american women who have married mexican husbands have found the ideas of the two races so radically opposed that the unions have not been harmonious. their verdict is that a mexican[173] man makes an ideal lover because of his delicate attentions and consideration, but an unsatisfactory husband since he does not make his wife a companion and confidante such as an american woman considers her right and privilege.
the individuality of the woman is not so completely merged in that of her husband at marriage as in the united states. the woman retains her own name but adds that of her husband. miss mary smith who marries mr. john jones becomes mrs. mary smith de jones, and she is not called so exclusively by her husband’s name. however, when the mexican woman is married she accommodates herself to the station in life provided by her husband. the wife usually accepts whatever condition fate has provided for her and bears it with patience and fortitude. they endure the petty ills of life with great cheerfulness. they do not go into society much as custom keeps them from attending mixed assemblages frequently. their world is generally confined to their home, husband and children. an american woman would sigh for liberty if compelled to live this life. the mexican woman in america shrinks from the freedom prevalent here and desires the seclusion of her native land. families are[174] usually large so that home duties require a great deal of attention. the respect and courtesy paid by children to their parents is truly delightful to witness and shows a real goodness of heart in them.
the mother cannot bear to see her family separated. she wants them all to stay close together so that each one can stop in and see her every day. the mothers are loving and tender and idolize their boys. it is regarded as a terrible thing, scarcely to be borne, for their sons to go out into the world as american youths do. to go to a distant city is like being transported to australia. even when they remain near home the mothers are very solicitous for fear they will work too hard. on each saint’s day, which is religiously observed, presents are given and an old-fashioned dinner, to which all the cousins, aunts and uncles are invited, is served. in starting on a journey to a not-distant city, the youth must visit all his relatives in the neighbourhood and bid adieu.
it is interesting to notice these traits in an age of growing indifference; but not a little of the lack of progress in mexico can be attributed to this unwillingness to sever home ties. many of these young men could do better for[175] themselves away from home but a mother’s pleadings and a mother’s tears keep them at home. even after marriage they frequently continue to live under the same roof.
the religious element enters very largely into the life of women. their very names are a constant reminder of their worship. many of them are christened mary with one of the attributes of the virgin or some incident in the life of the virgin added such as conception, annunciation, sorrows or assumption. or there are the attributes such as mary of the sorrows, of the gifts, miracles, tears, etc. religion is sustained by the women and you will seldom see men at the services unless it is some poor indian. they are very pious in their way and attend to their religious duties with the same interest that they perform their toilet. the concrete symbols and observances of the church have a great influence over them. at mass these pious worshippers always dress in sombre black. they are very particular in training their children in the principles of the church. formerly great faith was placed in the healing power of certain shrines and relics but this is now dying out under the advance of modern physicians and their healing remedies. they are still great[176] believers in signs, omens and other supernatural manifestations.
above all these women are kind hearted and charitable. though carefully guarding their homes, yet if a stranger is admitted into the family he is received with a generous welcome. should he return after long absence, he is greeted almost as one of the family and without reservation. he is not only permitted but encouraged to call all the members by their given names and to use the pronoun tu or “thou” in his intercourse with them. this is an especial privilege among spanish people who are very particular about familiarity in address. they will oftentimes deprive themselves for a friend. they have their faults too. although smoking is not countenanced in public it is said that many of them smoke in their boudoirs and in the company of friends of their own sex. a great deal has been said of their lack of morality but this is a subject upon which only those very familiar with the facts should dare to speak, for it cannot be treated lightly, or solely with the intention of casting a slur on another race.
washing on the banks of a stream
the lives of the indian women of mexico present a far different picture. instead of living in great palaces, their homes are in little[177] adobe cabins of one room, perhaps without the luxury of a window, or in bamboo huts covered with plantain leaves without chairs or table and only a mat of husks for a bed. there is no seclusion in their lives and the real duties of life begin at a very early age. i cannot call them serious duties for it is doubtful if these people regard any of the obligations of life as very serious. their early experiences are with its hard realities. they can be seen on the streets and around their homes with baby brothers or sisters swung across their backs when they themselves are so small that the burden seems far too heavy for them. on the banks of the streams they can be seen doing the family washing with a great amount of rubbing and pounding and wringing. to the fountains and wells they come carrying earthen jars on their heads, which they fill with water and replace with a grace and charm that excites admiration.
some of the indian maids are handsome. yet you can tell just what their future lives will be by observing those of the parents. they will live in the same squalor, the same poverty as their ancestors have dwelt for centuries. they will go through life bareheaded and barefooted and empty-minded just[178] as the generations which preceded have done. at twenty they have begun to fade and at thirty they retain scarcely a trace of their beauty. this is due to hard labour and deprivations. at fourteen few are unmarried or at least unmated. the marriage ceremony is frequently omitted because of the high charges of the priesthood, yet both parties are usually faithful. the number of children among this class is truly marvellous. more than one half of the younger women when seen on the street have infant children with them.
no people could be more poorly housed or more poorly equipped for domestic duties than these small brown women; and none use the little they have to better advantage or are more loyal to the man they call lord and master. they frequently live and sleep on the bare ground and possess no more clothing than they have on their bodies. they will pound away at the metate, or stone kneading-board, all day making the tortillas which are both bread and meat to the peon class. these comely indian women will bend their lithe, active bodies for hours washing clothes on large round stones which serve as wash-boards.
their clothes are simple and the latest fashion has no attraction. the rebosa is a universal[179] garment and answers for a shawl, a carry-all for babies and bundles, and a covering for the owner at night. these black-eyed women with their half-concealed faces, sober, unemotional manners, high-coloured garments and curious egyptian-shaped pottery might well be from the shores of the red sea. their love of warm, bright colours is even seen in their love for flowers since the many-hued, brilliant-coloured blossoms are everywhere. mignonettes and roses, flowering geraniums and scarlet poppies, gigantic oleanders and dainty pansies share attention with the brilliant-hued tropical birds in gayest colours which usually hang beside the open door in a home-made cage of dried rushes. they are faithful workers in fancy work and will follow the most intricate design and reproduce it with fidelity and ease. their art needle work on handkerchiefs and other linen articles is extremely fine and their drawn work is praised everywhere. it is not the work of the dainty fingers of educated women but of very humble and ignorant peon women in floorless cabins of adobe and of hands accustomed to drudgery.
the women of tehuantepec are remarkable for their beauty of face and form. they are easily the finest looking indian women in[180] america and in beauty of figure will compare with any race in the world. they are dark-skinned, almost a soft olive-brown, with sparkling dark eyes, masses of wavy hair, exquisite features and beautiful teeth, which are kept clean and white. their carriage will attract attention, for they walk erect and with a peculiar stride probably due to the prevailing habit of carrying baskets and water jars always on the head, where they are carefully balanced. they are small in stature, with fine limbs, and seem born models for an artist.
the “tehuanas” wear a quaint head-dress called “huepil,” which is made of coarse white lace. it is arranged in three different ways according to the occasion. at a dance it is wound round the neck and stands out like a huge elizabethan ruff. in church it is put on the head something like a boulogne fish-wife’s cap. for ordinary wear it is simply laid back on the hair and the folds hang down the back resembling somewhat the feather head-dress of a north american indian chief. it is indeed curious but is quite befitting. they always dress becomingly, with the quaint little short jackets which expose a section of brown back above the skirt band and are cut low about the neck in a fashion that women the world[181] over have found graceful, and with extremely short sleeves. on extraordinary occasions this short jacket, or waist, is of richer material embroidered in handsome designs of brilliant colours. some of the designs show oriental characteristics. the skirt of the dress is of soft material, linen or cotton, to the knees and below the knees is of a heavy lace or embroidery starched very stiff. the material used is not the usual cheap and gaudy fabrics sold to the mexican indian, but is of good quality and specially made by a certain manchester house for these people.
these belles of tehuantepec have a great liking for american gold coins which are worn on necklaces. british sovereigns or french napoleons are usually not desired, but a big premium will be paid for the eagle, half eagle, or double eagles of uncle sam. every centavo that a woman can save goes into her fund for purchasing gold pieces. the gorgeous necklace with the gold coins attached makes a showy and rather beautiful ornament. the fortune and standing of a “tehuana” is indicated by the number of gold coins on her necklace. one tehuantepec heiress has—it is said—a necklace which is valued at three thousand dollars. the most striking feature in the dress of these[182] women is that not one will wear shoes. dressed in all her finery, head-dress, starched skirt, polka-dot waist, necklace and smile, she will appear barefooted—a strange anomaly. without shoes they will dance over a stone floor, or even a dirt, gravel-bestrewn surface, with a grace that violates all rules of art. these dusky princesses will be found as graceful as gazelles on all occasions.
a visit to tehuantepec will long be remembered for it is an experience not easily forgotten. the quaint costumes, the striking dress, and the proud people combine to make a memory worth carrying away.
