“i’d like to know where we are,” warde said.
“we’re in the catskill mountains,” i told him.
“you might as well say we’re in the universe,” pee-wee said. “what good does that do us?”
“you mean to tell me it isn’t good to be in the universe?” i asked him.
“it’s one of the best places i know of,” garry said.
“sure it is,” i told him. “anybody who isn’t satisfied with the universe——”
“you’re crazy!” pee-wee yelled.
“follow your leader,” i said. “follow your leader wherever he goes.”
“follow your nose,” bert said.
“no wonder he goes up in the air so often if he follows that,” garry said.
“do you think i’m going to go marching around the country for the rest of my life?” the kid piped up.
“don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,” i said. “you want to go somewhere, don’t you? well, i promise to lead you somewhere. that’s just where you want to go. what more can you ask?”
i kept marching in and out among the trees, touching some and not touching others, the other fellows after me. pretty soon i hit into the road that crossed the track. we were about a quarter of a mile from the track then. i kept along that road, sometimes walking on the stone wall and sometimes going zigzag in the road. i knew we were going west and i was pretty sure that temple camp was southwest, but i didn’t know how far. i thought that pretty soon we would come to a crossroad and that there would be a sign there.
pretty soon we did come to one and there was a sign there, all right. i was glad of that because the road we were on had made so many turns i didn’t know for certain which direction we were going in. besides, the sky was all cloudy so i couldn’t tell anything by the sun.
“there’s a sign post!” one of the fellows shouted.
“saved!” another fellow yelled.
i didn’t strain my eyes to see what was on the signboard, but as soon as i saw it i began passing in and out among the trees along the road, grabbing each tree and going around it. all the while we were singing those crazy rhymes. so that way i came to the sign post and grabbed hold of it and around i went, only, good night, the post went round with my hand.
“there’s a good turn,” i shouted.
“now you didn’t do a thing but make the plot thicker,” pee-wee yelled at me at the top of his voice. “now you’ve got everything mixed up.”
“i changed the whole map of the catskills,” i said. “that’s nothing; see how the map of europe is changed. i don’t think much of a signboard that changes its mind.”
“i don’t think much of a scout that changes a signboard,” pee-wee shouted.
we all stood there staring at the sign. on the top of that post were two boards crossways to each other and on each board two directions were printed with arrows pointing. on one board was printed coxsackie 8 m., with an arrow pointing one way, and athens 5 m., with an arrow pointing the opposite way. on the other board was printed cairo 9 m., with an arrow pointing one way, and clayville 7 m., with an arrow pointing the other way, and underneath that board was a little board with temple camp printed on it. i guess scouts put that there.
but a lot of good that sign did us because all we knew was that temple camp was in the same direction as clayville and we didn’t know which direction clayville was in.
“follow your leader and you don’t know where you’re at,” pee-wee said, very disgusted like.
“wrong the first time,” i said. “the poem says follow your nose. would you rather believe the guide post than that beautiful poem? the poem never changes but the guide post moves around. we know where we’re at, we’re right here; deny it if you dare. we’re smarter than the guide post.”
“you’re about as smart as a lunatic,” the kid shouted. “if you hadn’t touched that we’d know which way to go. now where is temple camp?”
“that’s easy,” i told him; “it’s where it always was.”
“you mean you’re like you always were,” he said; “you’re crazy.”
“let’s move it around again,” hervey said, “and we’ll say the first verse and let go the post just as we finish. then let’s go the way it says.”
“good idea,” warde said; “let’s all agree that we’ll go whichever way the temple camp arrow points.”
“there are four directions,” pee-wee said. “we’ll stand just one chance in four of going the right way.”
“there are only two directions,” i said; “right and wrong. deny it who can. so we stand a fifty-fifty chance of going right. anybody that knows anything about arithmetic can tell that. come on, follow your leader wherever he goes.”
i grabbed hold of the sign post and started walking around with the rest of them after me singing, “follow your leader wherever he goes.” some merry-go-round! we sang the first verse and i stopped short when we got to the word goes.
“come on,” i said, “temple camp is right over that way. follow your leader.”
“trust to luck,” hervey said; “if it’s wrong, so much the better. let the guide post worry. they had no right to put a pinwheel here for a guide post.”
“just what i say,” i told him.
“how about others coming along?” warde wanted to know. that fellow makes me tired, he’s all the time using sense.
“now what have you got to say?” pee-wee yelled. “a scout is supposed to be helpful.”
“sure, he’s supposed to help himself to all the cake he wants, like you,” i said.
warde said, “as long as we’ve had all the fun we want here, let’s set the post right before we go.”
“we haven’t had all the fun we want,” hervey said.
“sure we haven’t,” i put in. “we haven’t begun to have any yet.”
“i care more about dinner than i do about fun,” pee-wee said.
“do you mean dinner isn’t fun?” garry asked him.
“i’m just as crazy as you are,” bert said to me, “but we might as well go crazy in the right direction if we can only find out what that is.”
“carried by a large minority,” i said; “the board of directors is appointed to find out the direction, so we can go crazy in that direction.” warde said, “the trouble is that other people that pass here are not so crazy as we are and they’d like to know which way is which. some people are peculiar.”
“some people are worse than peculiar,” the animal cracker shouted.
“the compliment is returned with thanks and not many of them, and we wish ourselves many happy returns of the way. if anybody knows the way this merry-go-round of a sign post is supposed to stand let him now speak or else forever after hold his peace.”
“piece of what?” pee-wee shouted.
“piece of pie,” i said; “that’s what you usually hold, isn’t it?”
warde just went up to the sign post kind of smiling and turned it around till he got it just where he wanted it.
“what’s the idea?” i asked him.
he said, “well, there are a couple of ideas.” i said, “i didn’t know we could scare up as many as that among the whole lot of us.”
“maybe i’m wrong,” warde said, “but i think that the side of the post with dried mud on it should face the road. that mud was spattered by wagons and autos. and i think the side that isn’t sunbaked faced the woods where it’s damp and shady. and i think the board where the paint is faded is the one that faced the sun. and so i think that cairo is over there, and athens over there and temple camp over there. see?”
“hip, hip, and a couple of hurrahs!” hervey willetts said. “that means we can cut through these woods and come out at the end of the old railroad branch. there’s a big apple tree over there, i fell out of it once. it’s all woods over there and we stand a pretty good chance of getting lost again.”
“what kind of apples are they?” pee-wee wanted to know.
“baked apples,” i told him.
so then i started off with the rest of them after me, singing follow your leader wherever he goes.
