it was silent, the city of my dreams, marble and serene, due perhaps to the fact that in reality i knew nothing of crowds, poverty, the winds and storms of the inadequate that blow like dust along the paths of life. it was an amazing city, so far-flung, so beautiful, so dead. there were tracks of iron stalking through the air, and streets that were as ca?ons, and stairways that mounted in vast flights to noble plazas, and steps that led down into deep places where were, strangely enough, underworld silences. and there were parks and flowers and rivers. and then, after twenty years, here it stood, as amazing almost as my dream, save that in the waking the flush of life was over it. it possessed the tang of contests and dreams and enthusiasms and delights and terrors and despairs. through its ways and ca?ons and open spaces and underground passages were running, seething, sparkling, darkling, a mass of beings such as my dream-city never knew.
the thing that interested me then as now about new york—as indeed about any great city, but more definitely new york because it was and is so preponderantly large—was the sharp, and at the same time immense, contrast it showed between the dull and the shrewd, the strong2 and the weak, the rich and the poor, the wise and the ignorant. this, perhaps, was more by reason of numbers and opportunity than anything else, for of course humanity is much the same everywhere. but the number from which to choose was so great here that the strong, or those who ultimately dominated, were so very strong, and the weak so very, very weak—and so very, very many.
i once knew a poor, half-demented, and very much shriveled little seamstress who occupied a tiny hall-bedroom in a side-street rooming-house, cooked her meals on a small alcohol stove set on a bureau, and who had about space enough outside of this to take three good steps either way.
“i would rather live in my hall-bedroom in new york than in any fifteen-room house in the country that i ever saw,” she commented once, and her poor little colorless eyes held more of sparkle and snap in them than i ever saw there, before or after. she was wont to add to her sewing income by reading fortunes in cards and tea-leaves and coffee-grounds, telling of love and prosperity to scores as lowly as herself, who would never see either. the color and noise and splendor of the city as a spectacle was sufficient to pay her for all her ills.
and have i not felt the glamour of it myself? and do i not still? broadway, at forty-second street, on those selfsame spring evenings when the city is crowded with an idle, sightseeing cloud of westerners; when the doors of all shops are open, the windows of nearly all restaurants wide to the gaze of the idlest passer-by. here3 is the great city, and it is lush and dreamy. a may or june moon will be hanging like a burnished silver disc between the high walls aloft. a hundred, a thousand electric signs will blink and wink. and the floods of citizens and visitors in summer clothes and with gay hats; the street cars jouncing their endless carloads on indifferent errands; the taxis and private cars fluttering about like jeweled flies. the very gasoline contributes a distinct perfume. life bubbles, sparkles; chatters gay, incoherent stuff. such is broadway.
and then fifth avenue, that singing, crystal street, on a shopping afternoon, winter, summer, spring or fall. what tells you as sharply of spring when, its windows crowded with delicate effronteries of silks and gay nothings of all description, it greets you in january, february and march? and how as early as november again, it sings of palm beach and newport and the lesser or greater joys of the tropics and the warmer seas. and in september, how the haughty display of furs and rugs, in this same avenue, and costumes de luxe for ball and dinner, cry out of snows and blizzards, when you are scarcely ten days back from mountain or seaside. one might think, from the picture presented and the residences which line the upper section, that all the world was inordinately prosperous and exclusive and happy. and yet, if you but knew the tawdry underbrush of society, the tangle and mat of futile growth between the tall trees of success, the shabby chambers crowded with aspirants and climbers, the immense mansions barren of a single social affair, perfect and silent!
i often think of the vast mass of underlings, boys and4 girls, who, with nothing but their youth and their ambitions to commend them, are daily and hourly setting their faces new yorkward, reconnoitering the city for what it may hold in the shape of wealth or fame, or, if not that, position and comfort in the future; and what, if anything, they will reap. ah, their young eyes drinking in its promise! and then, again, i think of all the powerful or semi-powerful men and women throughout the world, toiling at one task or another—a store, a mine, a bank, a profession—somewhere outside of new york, whose one ambition is to reach the place where their wealth will permit them to enter and remain in new york, dominant above the mass, luxuriating in what they consider luxury.
the illusion of it, the hypnosis deep and moving that it is! how the strong and the weak, the wise and the fools, the greedy of heart and of eye, seek the nepenthe, the lethe, of its something hugeness. i always marvel at those who are willing, seemingly, to pay any price—the price, whatever it may be—for one sip of this poison cup. what a stinging, quivering zest they display. how beauty is willing to sell its bloom, virtue its last rag, strength an almost usurious portion of that which it controls, youth its very best years, its hope or dream of fame, fame and power their dignity and presence, age its weary hours, to secure but a minor part of all this, a taste of its vibrating presence and the picture that it makes. can you not hear them almost, singing its praises?
