woman, said she, do thou be silent! sure, i that was born in this house, may have some privilege in it, without being talked to by the saucy servants in it!
i beg pardon, madam, replied mrs. jewkes; and, turning to me, said, madam, my master will take it very ill if you make him wait for you thus. so i rose to go out; but my lady said, if it was only for that reason she shan't go.—and went to the door and shut it, and said to mrs. jewkes, woman, don't come again till i call you; and coming to me, took my hand, and said, find your legs, miss, if you please.
i stood up, and she tapped my cheek! oh, says she, that scarlet glow shews what a rancorous little heart thou hast, if thou durst shew it! but come this way; and so led me to her chair: stand there, said she, and answer me a few questions while i dine, and i'll dismiss thee, till i call thy impudent master to account; and then i'll have you face to face, and all this mystery of iniquity shall be unravelled; for, between you, i will come to the bottom of it.
when she had sat down, i moved to the window on the other side of the parlour, looking into the private garden; and her woman said, mrs. pamela, don't make my lady angry. stand by her ladyship, as she bids you. said i, pray, good now, let it suffice you to attend your lady's commands, and don't lay yours upon me.—your pardon, sweet mrs. pamela, said she. times are much altered with you, i'll assure you! said i, her ladyship has a very good plea to be free in the house that she was born in; but you may as well confine your freedoms to the house in which you had your breedings. why, how now, mrs. pamela, said she; since you provoke me to it, i'll tell you a piece of my mind. hush, hush, good woman, said i, alluding to my lady's language to mrs. jewkes, my lady wants not your assistance:—besides, i can't scold!
the woman was ready to flutter with vexation; and lord jackey laughed as if he would burst his sides: g—d d—n me, beck, said he, you'd better let her alone to my lady here for she'll be too many for twenty such as you and i!—and then he laughed again, and repeated—i can't scold, quoth-a! but, by gad, miss, you can speak d——d spiteful words, i can tell you that!—poor beck, poor beck!—'fore gad, she's quite dumbfoundered!
well, but pamela, said my lady, come hither, and tell me truly, dost thou think thyself really married?—said i, and approached her chair, my good lady, i'll answer all your commands, if you'll have patience with me, and not be so angry as you are: but i can't bear to be used thus by this gentleman, and your ladyship's woman. child, said she, thou art very impertinent to my kinsman; thou can'st not be civil to me; and my ladyship's woman is much thy betters. but that's not the thing!—dost thou think thou art really married?
i see, madam, said i, you are resolved not to be pleased with any answer i shall return: if i should say, i am not, then your ladyship will call me hard names, and, perhaps, i should tell a fib. if i should say, i am, your ladyship will ask, how i have the impudence to be so?—and will call it a sham-marriage. i will, said she, be answered more directly. why, what, madam, does it signify what i think? your ladyship will believe as you please.
but can'st thou have the vanity, the pride, the folly, said she, to think thyself actually married to my brother? he is no fool, child; and libertine enough of conscience; and thou art not the first in the list of his credulous harlots.—well, well, said i, (and was in a sad flutter,) as i am easy, and pleased with my lot, pray, madam, let me continue so, as long as i can. it will be time enough for me to know the worst, when the worst comes. and if it should be so bad, your ladyship should pity me, rather than thus torment me before my time.
well, said she, but dost not think i am concerned, that a young wench, whom my poor dear mother loved so well, should thus cast herself away, and suffer herself to be deluded and undone, after such a noble stand as thou madst for so long a time?
i think myself far from being deluded and undone, and am as innocent and virtuous as ever i was in my life. thou liest, child, said she.
so your ladyship told me twice before.
she gave me a slap on the hand for this; and i made a low courtesy, and said, i humbly thank your ladyship! but i could not refrain tears: and added, your dear brother, madam, however, won't thank your ladyship for this usage of me, though i do. come a little nearer me, my dear, said she, and thou shalt have a little more than that to tell him of, if thou think'st thou hast not made mischief enough already between a sister and brother. but, child, if he was here, i would serve thee worse, and him too. i wish he was, said i.—dost thou threaten me, mischief-maker, and insolent as thou art?
now, pray, madam, said i, (but got to a little distance,) be pleased to reflect upon all that you have said to me, since i have had the honour, or rather misfortune, to come into your presence; whether you have said one thing befitting your ladyship's degree to me, even supposing i was the wench and the creature you imagine me to be?—come hither, my pert dear, replied she, come but within my reach for one moment, and i'll answer thee as thou deservest.
to be sure she meant to box my ears. but i should not be worthy my happy lot if i could not shew some spirit.
when the cloth was taken away, i said, i suppose i may now depart your presence, madam? i suppose not, said she. why, i'll lay thee a wager, child, thy stomach's too full to eat, and so thou may'st fast till thy mannerly master comes home.
pray your ladyship, said her woman, let the poor girl sit down at table with mrs. jewkes and me.—said i, you are very kind, mrs. worden; but times, as you said, are much altered with me; and i have been of late so much honoured with better company, that i can't stoop to yours.
was ever such confidence! said my lady.—poor beck! poor beck! said her kinsman; why she beats you quite out of the pit!—will your ladyship, said i, be so good as to tell me how long i am to tarry? for you'll please to see by that letter, that i am obliged to attend my master's commands. and so i gave her the dear gentleman's letter from mr. carlton's, which i thought would make her use me better, as she might judge by it of the honour done me by him. ay, said she, this is my worthy brother's hand. it is directed to mrs. andrews. that's to you, i suppose, child? and so she ran on, making remarks as she went along, in this manner:
my dearest pamela,—'mighty well!'—i hope my not coming home this night, will not frighten you!—'vastly tender, indeed!—and did it frighten you, child?'—you may believe i can't help it. 'no, to be sure!—a person in thy way of life, is more tenderly used than an honest wife. but mark the end of it!'—i could have wished—'pr'ythee, jackey, mind this,'—we—'mind the significant we,'—had not engaged to the good neighbourhood, at sir simon's, for to-morrow night.—'why, does the good neighbourhood, and does sir simon, permit thy visits, child? they shall have none of mine, then, i'll assure them!'—but i am so desirous to set out on wednesday for the other house—'so, jackey, but we just nicked it, i find:'—that, as well as in return for the civilities of so many good friends, who will be there on purpose, i would not put it off.—'now mind, jackey.'—what i beg of you—'mind the wretch, that could use me and your uncle as he has done; he is turned beggar to this creature!'—i beg of you, therefore, my dear—'my dear! there's for you!—i wish i may not be quite sick before i get through.'—what i beg of you, therefore, my dear, [and then she looked me full in the face,] is, that you will go in the chariot to sir simon's, the sooner in the day the better;—'dear heart! and why so, when we were not expected till night? why, pray observe the reason—hem!' [said she]—because you will be diverted with the company;—'mighty kind, indeed!'—who all—'jackey, jackey, mind this,'—who all so much admire you. 'now he'd ha' been hanged before he would have said so complaisant a thing, had he been married, i'm sure!'—very true, aunt, said he: a plain case that!—[thought i, that's hard upon poor matrimony, though i hope my lady don't find it so. but i durst not speak out.]—who all so much admire you, [said she,] 'i must repeat that—pretty miss!—i wish thou wast as admirable for thy virtue, as for that baby-face of thine!'—and i hope to join you there by your tea-time in the afternoon!—'so, you're in very good time, child, an hour or two hence, to answer all your important pre-engagements!'—which will be better than going home, and returning with you; as it will be six miles difference to me; and i know the good company will excuse my dress on this occasion.—'very true; any dress is good enough, i'm sure, for such company as admire thee, child, for a companion, in thy ruined state!—jackey, jackey, mind, mind, again! more fine things still!'—i count every hour of this little absence for a day!—'there's for you! let me repeat it'—i count every hour of this little absence for a day!—'mind, too, the wit of the good man! one may see love is a new thing to him. here is a very tedious time gone since he saw his deary; no less than, according to his amorous calculation, a dozen days and nights, at least! and yet, tedious as it is, it is but a little absence. well said, my good, accurate, and consistent brother!—but wise men in love are always the greatest simpletons!—but now cones the reason why this little absence, which, at the same time, is so great an absence, is so tedious:'—for i am—'ay, now for it!'—with the utmost sincerity, my dearest love—'out upon dearest love! i shall never love the word again! pray bid your uncle never call me dearest love, jackey!'—for ever yours!—'but, brother, thou liest!—thou knowest thou dost.—and so, my good lady andrews, or what shall i call you? your dearest love will be for ever yours! and hast thou the vanity to believe this?—but stay, here is a postscript. the poor man knew not when to have done to his dearest love.—he's sadly in for't, truly! why, his dearest love, you are mighty happy in such a lover!'—if you could go to dine with them—'cry you mercy, my dearest love, now comes the pre-engagement!'—it will be a freedom that will be very pleasing to them, and the more, as they don't expect it.
well, so much for this kind letter! but you see you cannot honour this admiring company with this little expected, and, but in complaisance to his folly, i dare say, little desired freedom. and i cannot forbear admiring you so much myself, my dearest love, that i will not spare you at all, this whole evening: for 'tis a little hard, if thy master's sister may not be blest a little bit with thy charming company.
so i found i had shewn her my letter to very little purpose, and repented it several times, as she read on.—well, then, said i, i hope your ladyship will give me leave to send my excuses to your good brother, and say, that your ladyship is come, and is so fond of me, that you will not let me leave you.—pretty creature, said she; and wantest thou thy good master to come, and quarrel with his sister on thy account?—but thou shalt not stir from my presence; and i would now ask thee, what it is thou meanest by shewing me this letter?—why, madam, said i, to shew your ladyship how i was engaged for this day and evening.—and for nothing else? said she. why, i can't tell, madam, said i: but if you can collect from it any other circumstances, i might hope i should not be the worse treated.
i saw her eyes began to sparkle with passion: and she took my hand, and said, grasping it very hard, i know, confident creature, that thou shewedst it me to insult me!—you shewed it me, to let me see, that he could be civiller to a beggar born, than to me, or to my good lord davers!—you shewed it me, as if you'd have me to be as credulous a fool as yourself, to believe your marriage true, when i know the whole trick of it, and have reason to believe you do too; and you shewed it me, to upbraid me with his stooping to such painted dirt, to the disgrace of a family, ancient and untainted beyond most in the kingdom. and now will i give thee one hundred guineas for one bold word, that i may fell thee at my foot!
was not this very dreadful! to be sure, i had better have kept the letter from her. i was quite frightened!—and this fearful menace, and her fiery eyes, and rageful countenance, made me lose all my courage.—so i said, weeping, good your ladyship, pity me!—indeed i am honest; indeed i am virtuous; indeed i would not do a bad thing for the world!
though i know, said she, the whole trick of thy pretended marriage, and thy foolish ring here, and all the rest of the wicked nonsense, yet i should not have patience with thee, if thou shouldst but offer to let me know thy vanity prompts thee to believe thou art married to my brother!—i could not bear the thought!—so take care, pamela; take care, beggarly brat; take care.
good madam, said i, spare my dear parents. they are honest and industrious: they were once in a very creditable way, and never were beggars. misfortunes may attend any body: and i can bear the cruellest imputations on myself, because i know my innocence; but upon such honest, industrious parents, who went through the greatest trials, without being beholden to any thing but god's blessing, and their own hard labour; i cannot bear reflection.
what! art thou setting up for a family, creature as thou art! god give me patience with thee! i suppose my brother's folly, and his wickedness, together, will, in a little while, occasion a search at the heralds' office, to set out thy wretched obscurity! provoke me, i desire thou wilt! one hundred guineas will i give thee, to say but thou thinkest thou art married to my brother.
your ladyship, i hope, won't kill me: and since nothing i can say will please you, but your ladyship is resolved to quarrel with me; since i must not say what i think, on one hand nor another; whatever your ladyship designs by me, be pleased to do, and let me depart your presence!
she gave me a slap on the hand, and reached to box my ear; but mrs. jewkes hearkening without, and her woman too, they both came in at that instant; and mrs. jewkes said, pushing herself in between us; your ladyship knows not what you do! indeed you don't! my master would never forgive me, if i suffered, in his house, one he so dearly loves, to be so used; and it must not be, though you are lady davers. her woman too interposed, and told her, i was not worth her ladyship's anger. but she was like a person beside herself.
i offered to go out, and mrs. jewkes took my hand to lead me out: but her kinsman set his back against the door, and put his hand to his sword, and said, i should not go, till his aunt permitted it. he drew it half-way, and i was so terrified, that i cried out, oh, the sword! the sword! and, not knowing what i did, i ran to my lady herself, and clasped my arms about her, forgetting, just then, how much she was my enemy, and said, sinking on my knees, defend me, good your ladyship! the sword! the sword!—mrs. jewkes said, oh! my lady will fall into fits! but lady davers was herself so startled at the matter being carried so far, that she did not mind her words, and said, jackey, don't draw your sword!—you see, as great as her spirit is, she can't bear that.
come, said she, be comforted; he shan't frighten you!—i'll try to overcome my anger, and will pity you. so, wench, rise up, and don't be foolish. mrs. jewkes held her salts to my nose, and i did not faint. and my lady said, mrs. jewkes, if you would be forgiven, leave pamela and me by ourselves; and, jackey, do you withdraw; only you, beck, stay.
so i sat down in the window, all in a sad fluster; for, to be sure, i was sadly frightened.—said her woman, you should not sit in my lady's presence, mrs. pamela. yes, let her sit till she is a little recovered of her fright, said my lady, and do you set my chair by her. and so she sat over-against me, and said, to be sure, pamela, you have been very provoking with your tongue, to be sure you have, as well upon my nephew, (who is a man of quality too,) as me. and palliating her cruel usage, and beginning, i suppose, to think herself she had carried it further than she could answer it to her brother, she wanted to lay the fault upon me. own, said she, you have been very saucy; and beg my pardon, and beg jackey's pardon, and i will try to pity you. for you are a sweet girl, after all; if you had but held out, and been honest.
'tis injurious to me, madam, said i, to imagine i am not honest!—said she, have you not been a-bed with my brother? tell me that. your ladyship, replied i, asks your questions in a strange way, and in strange words.
o! your delicacy is wounded, i suppose, by my plain questions!—this niceness will soon leave you, wench: it will, indeed. but answer me directly. then your ladyship's next question, said i, will be, am i married? and you won't bear my answer to that—and will beat me again.
i han't beat you yet; have i, beck? said she. so you want to make out a story, do you?—but, indeed, i can't bear thou shouldst so much as think thou art my sister. i know the whole trick of it; and so, 'tis my opinion, dost thou. it is only thy little cunning, that it might look like a cloak to thy yielding, and get better terms from him. pr'ythee, pr'ythee, wench, thou seest i know the world a little;—almost as much at thirty-two, as thou dost at sixteen.—remember that!
i rose from the window, and walking to the other end of the room, beat me again, if you please, said i, but i must tell your ladyship, i scorn your words, and am as much married as your ladyship!
at that she ran to me; but her woman interposed again: let the vain wicked creature go from your presence, madam, said she. she is not worthy to be in it. she will but vex your ladyship. stand away, beck, said she. that's an assertion that i would not take from my brother, i can't bear it. as much married as i!—is that to be borne? but if the creature believes she is, madam, said her woman, she is to be as much pitied for her credulity, as despised for her vanity.
i was in hopes to have slipt out at the door; but she caught hold of my gown, and pulled me back. pray your ladyship, said i, don't kill me!—i have done no harm.—but she locked the door, and put the key in her pocket. so, seeing mrs. jewkes before the window, i lifted up the sash, and said, mrs. jewkes, i believe it would be best for the chariot to go to your master, and let him know, that lady davers is here; and i cannot leave her ladyship.
she was resolved to be displeased, let me say what i would.
said she, no, no; he'll then think, that i make the creature my companion, and know not how to part with her. i thought your ladyship, replied i, could not have taken exceptions at this message. thou knowest nothing, wench, said she, of what belongs to people of condition: how shouldst thou? nor, thought i, do i desire it, at this rate.
what shall i say, madam? said i. nothing at all, replied she; let him expect his dearest love, and be disappointed; it is but adding a few more hours, and he will make every one a day, in his amorous account.—mrs. jewkes coming nearer me, and my lady walking about the room, being then at the end, i whispered, let robert stay at the elms; i'll have a struggle for't by and by.
as much married as i! repeated she.—the insolence of the creature!—and so she walked about the room, talking to herself, to her woman, and now and then to me; but seeing i could not please her, i thought i had better be silent. and then it was, am i not worthy an answer? if i speak, said i, your ladyship is angry at me, though ever so respectfully; if i do not, i cannot please: would your ladyship tell me but how i shall oblige you, and i would do it with all my heart.
confess the truth, said she, that thou art an undone creature; hast been in bed with thy master; and art sorry for it, and for the mischief thou hast occasioned between him and me; and then i'll pity thee, and persuade him to pack thee off, with a hundred or two of guineas; and some honest farmer may take pity of thee, and patch up thy shame, for the sake of the money; and if nobody will have thee, thou must vow penitence, and be as humble as i once thought thee.
i was quite sick at heart, at all this passionate extravagance, and to be hindered from being where was the desire of my soul, and afraid too of incurring my dear master's displeasure; and, as i sat, i saw it was no hard matter to get out of the window into the front yard, the parlour being even with the yard, and so have a fair run for it; and after i had seen my lady at the other end of the room again, in her walks, having not pulled down the sash, when i spoke to mrs. jewkes, i got upon the seat, and whipped out in a minute, and ran away as hard as i could drive, my lady calling after me to return, and her woman at the other window: but two of her servants appearing at her crying out, and she bidding them to stop me, i said, touch me at your peril, fellows! but their lady's commands would have prevailed on them, had not mr. colbrand, who, it seems, had been kindly ordered, by mrs. jewkes, to be within call, when she saw how i was treated, come up, and put on one of his deadly fierce looks, the only time, i thought, it ever became him, and said, he would chine the man, that was his word, who offered to touch his lady; and so he ran alongside of me; and i heard my lady say, the creature flies like a bird! and, indeed, mr. colbrand, with his huge strides, could hardly keep pace with me; and i never stopped, till i got to the chariot; and robert had got down, seeing me running at a distance, and held the door in his hand, with the step ready down; and in i jumped, without touching the step, saying, drive me, drive me, as fast as you can, out of my lady's reach! and he mounted; and colbrand said, don't be frightened, madam; nobody shall hurt you.—and shut the door, and away robert drove; but i was quite out of breath, and did not recover it, and my fright, all the way.
mr. colbrand was so kind, but i did not know it till the chariot stopped at sir simon's, to step up behind the carriage, lest, as he said, my lady should send after me; and he told mrs. jewkes, when he got home, that he never saw such a runner as me in his life.
when the chariot stopped, which was not till six o'clock, so long did this cruel lady keep me, miss darnford ran out to me: o madam, said she, ten times welcome! but you'll be beat, i can tell you! for here has been mr. b—— come these two hours, and is very angry with you.
that's hard indeed, said i;—indeed i can't afford it;—for i hardly knew what i said, having not recovered my fright. let me sit down, miss, any where, said i; for i have been sadly off. so i sat down, and was quite sick with the hurry of my spirits, and leaned upon her arm.
said she, your lord and master came in very moody; and when he had staid an hour, and you not come, he began to fret, and said, he did not expect so little complaisance from you. and he is now sat down, with great persuasion, to a game at loo.—come, you must make your appearance, lady fair; for he is too sullen to attend you, i doubt.
you have no strangers, have you miss? said i.—only two women relations from stamford, replied she, and an humble servant of one of them.—only all the world, miss! said i.—what shall i do, if he be angry? i can't bear that.
just as i had said so, came in lady darnford and lady jones to chide me, as they said, for not coming sooner. and before i could speak, came in my dear master. i ran to him. how dy'e pamela? said he; and saluting me, with a little more formality than i could well bear.—i expected half a word from me, when i was so complaisant to your choice, would have determined you, and that you'd have been here to dinner;—and the rather, as i made my request a reasonable one, and what i thought would be agreeable to you. o dear sir, said i, pray, pray, hear me, and you'll pity me, and not be displeased! mrs. jewkes will tell you, that as soon as i had your kind commands, i said, i would obey you, and come to dinner with these good ladies; and so prepared myself instantly, with all the pleasure in the world. lady darnford and miss said i was their dear!—look you, said miss, did i not tell you, stately one, that something must have happened? but, o these tyrants! these men!
why, what hindered it, my dear? said he: give yourself time; you seem out of breath!—o sir, said i, out of breath! well i may!—for, just as i was ready to come away, who should drive into the court-yard, but lady davers!—lady davers! nay, then, my sweet dear, said he, and saluted me more tenderly, hast thou had a worse trial than i wish thee, from one of the haughtiest women in england, though my sister!—for, she too, my pamela, was spoiled by my good mother!—but have you seen her?
yes, sir, said i, and more than seen her!—why sure, said he, she has not had the insolence to strike my girl!—sir, said i, but tell me you forgive me; for indeed i could not come sooner; and these good ladies but excuse me; and i'll tell you all another time; for to take up the good company's attention now, will spoil their pleasantry, and be to them, though more important to me, like the broken china you cautioned me about.
that's a dear girl! said he; i see my hints are not thrown away upon you; and i beg pardon for being angry with you; and, for the future, will stay till i hear your defence, before i judge you. said miss darnford, this is a little better! to own a fault is some reparation; and what every lordly husband will not do. he said, but tell me, my dear, did lady davers offer you any incivility? o sir, replied i, she is your sister, and i must not tell you all; but she has used me very severely! did you tell her, said he, you were married? yes, sir, i did at last; but she will have it 'tis a sham-marriage, and that i am a vile creature: and she was ready to beat me, when i said so: for she could not have patience, that i should be deemed her sister, as she said.
how unlucky it was, replied he, i was not at home?—why did you not send to me here? send, sir! i was kept prisoner by force. they would not let me stir, or do you think i would have been hindered from obeying you? nay, i told them, that i had a pre-engagement; but she ridiculed me, and said, waiting-maids talk of pre-engagements! and then i shewed her your kind letter; and she made a thousand remarks upon it, and made me wish i had not. in short, whatever i could do or say, there was no pleasing her; and i was a creature and wench, and all that was naught. but you must not be angry with her on my account.
well, but, said he, i suppose she hardly asked you to dine with her; for she came before dinner, i presume, if it was soon after you had received my letter! no, sir, dine with my lady! no, indeed! why, she would make me wait at table upon her, with her woman, because she would not expose herself and me before the men-servants; which you know, sir, was very good of her ladyship.
well, said he, but did you wait upon her? would you have had me, sir? said i.—only, pamela, replied he, if you did, and knew not what belonged to your character, as my wife, i shall be very angry with you. sir, said i, i did not, but refused it, out of consideration to the dignity you have raised me to; else, sir, i could have waited on my knees upon your sister.
now, said he, you confirm my opinion of your prudence and judgment. she is an insolent woman, and shall dearly repent it. but, sir, she is to be excused, because she won't believe i am indeed married; so don't be too angry at her ladyship.
he said, ladies, pray don't let us keep you from the company; i'll only ask a question or two more, and attend you. said lady jones, i so much long to hear this story of poor madam's persecution, that, if it was not improper, i should be glad to stay. miss darnford would stay for the same reason; my master saying, he had no secrets to ask; and that it was kind of them to interest themselves in my grievances.
but lady darnford went into the company, and told them the cause of my detention; for, it seems, my dear master loved me too well, to keep to himself the disappointment my not being here to receive him, was to him; and they had all given the two misses boroughs and mr. perry, the stamford guests, such a character of me, that they said they were impatient to see me.
said my master, but, pamela, you said they and them: who had my sister with her besides her woman? her nephew, sir, and three footmen on horseback; and she and her woman were in her chariot and six.
that's a sad coxcomb, said he: how did he behave to you?—not extraordinarily, sir; but i should not complain; for i was even with him; because i thought i ought not to bear with him as with my lady.
by heaven! said he, if i knew he behaved unhandsomely to my jewel, i'd send him home to his uncle without his ears. indeed, sir, returned i, i was as hard upon him as he was upon me. said he, 'tis kind to say so; but i believe i shall make them dearly repent their visit, if i find their behaviour to call for my resentment.
but, sure, my dear, you might have got away when you went to your own dinner? indeed, sir, said i, her ladyship locked me in, and would not let me stir.—so you ha'nt ate any dinner? no, indeed, sir, nor had a stomach for any. my poor dear, said he. but then, how got you away at last? o sir, replied i, i jumped out of the parlour window, and ran away to the chariot, which had waited for me several hours, by the elm-walk, from the time of my lady's coming (for i was just going, as i said); and mr. colbrand conducted me through her servants, whom she called to, to stop me; and was so kind to step behind the chariot, unknown to me, and saw me safe here.
i'm sure, said he, these insolent creatures must have treated you vilely. but tell me, what part did mrs. jewkes act in this affair? a very kind part, sir, said i, in my behalf; and i shall thank her for it. sweet creature! said he, thou lovest to speak well of every body; but i hope she deserves it; for she knew you were married.—but come, we'll now join the company, and try to forget all you have suffered, for two or three hours, that we may not tire the company with our concerns and resume the subject as we go home: and you shall find i will do you justice, as i ought. but you forgive me, sir, said i, and are not angry? forgive you, my dear! returned he—i hope you forgive me! i shall never make you satisfaction for what you have suffered from me, and for me! and with those words he led me into the company.
he very kindly presented me to the two stranger ladies, and the gentleman, and them to me: and sir simon, who was at cards, rose from table, and saluted me: adad! madam, said he, i'm glad to see you here. what, it seems you have been a prisoner! 'twas well you was, or your spouse and i should have sat in judgment upon you, and condemned you to a fearful punishment for your first crime of laesae majestatis: (i had this explained to me afterwards, as a sort of treason against my liege lord and husband:) for we husbands hereabouts, said he, are resolved to turn over a new leaf with our wives, and your lord and master shall shew us the way, i can tell you that. but i see by your eyes, my sweet culprit, added he, and your complexion, you have had sour sauce to your sweet meat.
miss darnford said, i think we are obliged to our sweet guest, at last; for she was forced to jump out at a window to come to us. indeed! said mrs. peters;—and my master's back being turned, says she, lady davers, when a maiden, was always vastly passionate; but a very good lady when her passion was over. and she'd make nothing of slapping her maids about, and begging their pardons afterwards, if they took it patiently; otherwise she used to say the creatures were even with her.
ay, said i, i have been a many creatures and wenches, and i know not what; for these were the names she gave me. and i thought i ought to act up to the part her dear brother has given me; and so i have but just escaped a good cuffing.
miss boroughs said to her sister, as i overheard, but she did not design i should, what a sweet creature is this! and then she takes so little upon her, is so free, so easy, and owns the honour done her, so obligingly! said mr. perry, softly, the loveliest person i ever saw! who could have the heart to be angry with her one moment?
says miss darnford, here, my dearest neighbour, these gentry are admiring you strangely; and mr. perry says, you are the loveliest lady he ever saw; and he says it to his own mistress's face too, i'll assure you!—or else, says miss boroughs, i should think he much flattered me.
o, madam, you are exceedingly obliging! but your kind opinion ought to teach me humility, and to reverence so generous a worth as can give a preference against yourself, where it is so little due. indeed, madam, said miss nanny boroughs, i love my sister well; but it would be a high compliment to any lady, to be deemed worthy a second or third place after you.
there is no answering such politeness, said i: i am sure lady davers was very cruel to keep me from such company. 'twas our loss, madam, says miss darnford. i'll allow it, said i, in degree; for you have all been deprived, several hours, of an humble admirer.
mr. perry said, i never before saw so young a lady shine forth with such graces of mind and person. alas! sir, said i, my master coming up, mine is but a borrowed shine, like that of the moon. here is the sun, to whose fervent glow of generosity i owe all the faint lustre, that your goodness is pleased to look upon with so much kind distinction.
mr. perry was pleased to hold up his hands; and the ladies looked upon one another. and my master said, hearing part of the last sentence, what's the pretty subject, that my pamela is displaying so sweetly her talents upon?
oh! sir, said mr. perry, i will pronounce you the happiest man in england: and so said they all.
my master said, most generously, thank ye, thank ye, thank ye, all round, my dear friends. i know not your subject; but if you believe me so, for a single instance of this dear girl's goodness, what must i think myself, when blessed with a thousand instances, and experiencing it in every single act and word! i do assure you my pamela's person, all lovely as you see it, is far short of her mind: that, indeed, first attracted my admiration, and made me her lover: but they were the beauties of her mind, that made me her husband; and proud, my sweet dear, said he, pressing my hand, am i of that title.
well, said mr. perry, very kindly and politely, excellent as your lady is, i know not the gentleman that could deserve her, but that one who could say such just and such fine things.
i was all abashed; and took miss darnford's hand, and said, save me, dear miss, by your sweet example, from my rising pride. but could i deserve half these kind things, what a happy creature should i be! said miss darnford, you deserve them all, indeed you do.
the greatest part of the company having sat down to loo, my master being pressed, said he would take one game at whist; but had rather be excused too, having been up all night: and i asked how his friend did? we'll talk of that, said he, another time; which, and his seriousness, made me fear the poor gentleman was dead, as it proved.
we cast in, and miss boroughs and my master were together, and mr. perry and i; and i had all four honours the first time, and we were up at one deal. said my master, an honourable hand, pamela, should go with an honourable heart; but you'd not have been up, if a knave had not been one. whist, sir, said mr. perry, you know, was a court game originally; and the knave, i suppose, signified always the prime minister.
'tis well, said my master, if now there is but one knave in a court, out of four persons, take the court through.
the king and queen, sir, said mr. perry, can do no wrong, you know. so there are two that must be good out of four; and the ace seems too plain a card to mean much hurt.
we compliment the king, said my master, in that manner; and 'tis well to do so, because there is something sacred in the character. but yet, if force of example be considered, it is going a great way; for certainly a good master makes a good servant, generally speaking.
one thing, added he, i will say, in regard to the ace: i have always looked upon that plain and honest looking card in the light you do: and have considered whist as an english game in its original; which has made me fonder of it than of any other. for by the ace i have always thought the laws of the land denoted; and as the ace is above the king or queen, and wins them, i think the law should be thought so too; though, may be, i shall be deemed a whig for my opinion.
i shall never play whist, said mr. perry, without thinking of this, and shall love the game the better for the thought; though i am no party-man. nor i, said my master; for i think the distinctions of whig and tory odious; and love the one or the other only as they are honest and worthy men; and have never (nor never shall, hope) given a vote, but according to what i thought was for the public good, let either whig or tory propose it.
i wish, sir, replied mr. perry, all gentlemen in your station would act so. if there was no undue influence, said my master, i am willing to think so well of all mankind, that i believe they generally would.
but you see, said he, by my pamela's hand, when all the court-cards get together, and are acted by one mind, the game is usually turned accordingly: though now and then, too, it may be so circumstanced, that honours will do them no good, and they are forced to depend altogether upon tricks.
i thought this way of talking prettier than the game itself. but i said, though i have won the game, i hope i am no trickster. no, said my master, god forbid but court-cards should sometimes win with honour! but you see, for all that, your game is as much owing to the knave as the king; and you, my fair-one, lost no advantage, when it was put into your power.
else, sir, said i, i should not have done justice to my partner. you are certainly right, pamela, replied he; though you thereby beat your husband. sir, said i, you may be my partner next, and i must do justice, you know. well, said he, always choose so worthy a friend, as chance has given you for a partner, and i shall never find fault with you, do what you will.
mr. perry said, you are very good to me, sir; and miss boroughs, i observed, seemed pleased with the compliment to her humble servant; by which i saw she esteemed him, as he appears to deserve. dear sir! said i, how much better is this, than to be locked in by lady davers!
the supper was brought in sooner on my account, because i had had no dinner; and there passed very agreeable compliments on the occasion. lady darnford would help me first, because i had so long fasted, as she said. sir simon would have placed himself next me: and my master said, he thought it was best, where there was an equal number of ladies and gentlemen, that they should sit, intermingled, that the gentlemen might be employed in helping and serving the ladies. lady darnford said, she hoped sir simon would not sit above any ladies at his own table especially. well, said he, i shall sit over-against her, however, and that's as well.
my dearest sir could not keep his eyes off me, and seemed generously delighted with all i did, and all i said; and every one was pleased to see his kind and affectionate behaviour to me.
lady jones brought up the discourse about lady davers again; and my master said, i fear, pamela, you have been hardly used, more than you'll say. i know my sister's passionate temper too well, to believe she could be over-civil to you, especially as it happened so unluckily that i was out. if, added he, she had no pique to you, my dear, yet what has passed between her and me, has so exasperated her, that i know she would have quarrelled with my horse, if she had thought i valued it, and nobody else was in her way. dear sir, said i, don't say so of good lady davers.
why, my dear, said he, i know she came on purpose to quarrel; and had she not found herself under a very violent uneasiness, after what had passed between us, and my treatment of her lord's letter, she would not have offered to come near me. what sort of language had she for me, pamela? o sir, very good, only her well-mannered brother, and such as that!
only, said he, 'tis taking up the attention of the company disagreeably, or i could tell you almost every word she said. lady jones wished to hear a further account of my lady's conduct, and most of the company joined with her, particularly mrs. peters; who said, that as they knew the story, and lady davers's temper, though she was very good in the main, they could wish to be so agreeably entertained, if he and i pleased; because they imagined i should have no difficulties after this.
tell me, then, pamela, said he, did she lift up her hand at you? did she strike you? but i hope not! a little slap of the hand, said i, or so.—insolent woman! she did not, i hope, offer to strike your face? why, said i, i was a little saucy once or twice; and she would have given me a cuff on the ear, if her woman and mrs. jewkes had not interposed. why did you not come out at the door? because, said i, her ladyship sat in the chair against it, one while, and another while locked it; else i offered several times to get away.
she knew i expected you here: you say, you shewed her my letter to you? yes, sir, said i; but i had better not; for she as then more exasperated, and made strange comments upon it. i doubt it not, said he; but, did she not see, by the kind epithets in it, that there was no room to doubt of our being married? o, sir, replied i, and made the company smile, she said, for that very reason she was sure i was not married.
that's like my sister! said he; exactly like her; and yet she lives very happily herself: for her poor lord never contradicts her. indeed he dares not.
you were a great many wenches, were you not, my dear? for that's a great word with her.—yes, sir, said i, wenches and creatures out of number; and worse than all that. what? tell me, my dear. sir, said i, i must not have you angry with lady davers; while you are so good to me, 'tis all nothing; only the trouble i have that i cannot be suffered to shew how much i honoured her ladyship, as your sister.
well, said he, you need not be afraid to tell me: i must love her after all; though i shall not be pleased with her on this occasion. i know it is her love for me, though thus oddly expressed, that makes her so uneasy: and, after all, she comes, i'm sure, to be reconciled to me; though it must be through a good hearty quarrel first: for she can shew a good deal of sunshine; but it must be always after a storm; and i'll love her dearly, if she has not been, and will not be, too hard upon my dearest.
mr. peters said, sir, you are very good, and very kind; i love to see this complaisance to your sister, though she be in fault, so long as you can shew it with so much justice to the sweetest innocence and merit in the world. by all that's good, mr. peters, said he, i'd present my sister with a thousand pounds, if she would kindly take my dear pamela by the hand, and wish her joy, and call her sister!—and yet i should be unworthy of the dear creature that smiles upon me there, if it was not principally for her sake, and the pleasure it would give her, that i say this: for i will never be thoroughly reconciled to my sister till she does; for i most sincerely think, as to myself, that my dear wife, there she sits, does me more honour in her new relation, than she receives from me.
sir, said i, i am overwhelmed with your goodness!—and my eyes were filled with tears of joy and gratitude: and all the company with one voice blessed him. and lady jones was pleased to say, the behaviour of you two happy ones, to each other, is the most edifying i ever knew. i am always improved when i see you. how happy would every good lady be with such a gentleman, and every good gentleman with such a lady!—in short, you seem made for one another.
o madam, said i, you are so kind, so good to me, that i know not how to thank you enough!—said she, you deserve more than i can express; for, to all that know your story, you are a matchless person. you are an ornament to our sex and your virtue, though mr. b—— is so generous as he is, has met with no more than its due reward. god long bless you together!
you are, said my dearest sir, very good to me, madam, i am sure. i have taken liberties in my former life, that deserved not so much excellence. i have offended extremely, by trials glorious to my pamela, but disgraceful to me, against a virtue that i now consider as almost sacred; and i shall not think i deserve her, till i can bring my manners, my sentiments, and my actions, to a conformity with her own. in short, my pamela, continued he, i want you to be nothing but what you are, and have been. you cannot be better; and if you could, it would be but filling me with despair to attain the awful heights of virtue at which you have arrived. perhaps, added the dear gentleman, the scene i have beheld within these twelve hours, has made me more serious than otherwise i should have been: but i'll assure you, before all this good company, i speak the sentiments of my heart, and those not of this day only.
what a happy daughter is yours, o my dear father and mother! i owe it all to god's grace, and to yours and my good lady's instructions: and to these let me always look back with grateful acknowledgments, that i may not impute to myself, and be proud, my inexpressible happiness.
the company were so kindly pleased with our concern, and my dear master's goodness, that he, observing their indulgence, and being himself curious to know the further particulars of what had passed between my lady and me, repeated his question, what she had called me besides wench and creature? and i said, my lady, supposing i was wicked, lamented over me, very kindly, my depravity and fall, and said, what a thousand pities it was, so much virtue, as she was pleased to say, was so destroyed; and that i had yielded, after so noble a stand! as she said.
excuse me, gentlemen and ladies, said i! you know my story, it seems; and i am commanded, by one who has a title to all my obedience, to proceed.
they gave all of them bows of approbation, that they might not interrupt me; and i continued my story—the men-servants withdrawing, at a motion of mr. b——, on my looking towards them: and then, at lady darnford's coming in, i proceeded.
i told her ladyship, that i was still innocent, and would be so, and it was injurious to suppose me otherwise. why, tell me, wench, said she—but i think i must not tell you what she said. yes, do, said my master, to clear my sister; we shall think it very bad else.
i held my hand before my face—why, she said, tell me, wench, hast thou not been—hesitating—a very free creature with thy master? that she said, or to that effect—and when i said, she asked strange questions, and in strange words, she ridiculed my delicacy, as she called it; and said, my niceness would not last long. she said, i must know i was not really married, that my ring was only a sham, and all was my cunning to cloak my yielding, and get better terms. she said, she knew the world as much at thirty-two, as i did at sixteen; and bid me remember that.
i took the liberty to say, (but i got a good way off,) that i scorned her ladyship's words, and was as much married as her ladyship. and then i had certainly been cuffed, if her woman had not interposed, and told her i was not worthy her anger; and that i was as much to be pitied for my credulity, as despised for my vanity.
my poor pamela, said my master, this was too, too hard upon you! o sir, said i, how much easier it was to me than if it had been so!—that would have broken my heart quite!—for then i should have deserved it all, and worse; and these reproaches, added to my own guilt, would have made me truly wretched!
lady darnford, at whose right-hand i sat, kissed me with a kind of rapture, and called me a sweet exemplar for all my sex. mr. peters said very handsome things; so did mr. perry and sir simon, with tears in his eyes, said to my master, why, neighbour, neighbour, this is excellent, by my troth. i believe there is something in virtue, that we had not well considered. on my soul, there has been but one angel come down for these thousand years, and you have got her.
well, my dearest, said my master, pray proceed with your story until, we have done supper, since the ladies seem pleased with it. why, sir, said i, her ladyship went on in the same manner; but said, one time, (and held me by the hand,) she would give me an hundred guineas for one provoking word; or, if i would but say i believed myself married, that she might fell me at her foot: but, sir, you must not be angry with her ladyship. she called me painted dirt, baby-face, waiting-maid, beggar's brat, and beggar-born; but i said, as long as i knew my innocence, i was easy in every thing, but to have my dear parents abused. they were never beggars, nor beholden to any body; nor to any thing but god's grace and their own labour; that they once lived in credit; that misfortunes might befall any body; and that i could not bear they should be treated so undeservedly.
then her ladyship said, ay, she supposed my master's folly would make us set up for a family, and that the heralds' office would shortly be searched to make it out.
exactly my sister again! said he. so you could not please her any way?
no, indeed, sir. when she commanded me to fill her a glass of wine, and would not let her woman do it, she asked, if i was above it? i then said, if to attend your ladyship at table, or even kneel at your feet, was required of me, i would most gladly do it, were i only the person you think me. but if it be to triumph over one, who has received honours which she thinks require from her another part, that she may not be utterly unworthy of them, i must say, i cannot do it. this quite astonished her ladyship; and a little before, her kinsman brought me the bottle and glass, and required me to fill it for my lady, at her command, and called himself my deputy: and i said, 'tis in a good hand; help my lady yourself. so, sir, added i, you see i could be a little saucy upon occasion.
you please me well, my pamela, said he. this was quite right. but proceed.
her ladyship said, she was astonished! adding, she supposed i would have her look upon me as her brother's wife: and asked me, what, in the name of impudence, possessed me, to dare to look upon myself as her sister? and i said, that was a question better became her most worthy brother to answer, than me. and then i thought i should have had her ladyship upon me; but her woman interposed.
i afterwards told mrs. jewkes, at the window, that since i was hindered from going to you, i believed it was best to let robert go with the chariot, and say, lady davers was come, and i could not leave her ladyship. but this did not please; and i thought it would too; for she said, no, no, he'll think i make the creature my companion, and know not how to part with her.
exactly, said he, my sister again.
and she said, i knew nothing what belonged to people of condition; how should i?—what shall i say, madam? said i. nothing at all, answered she; let him expect his dearest love, alluding to your kind epithet in your letter, and be disappointed; it is but adding a few more hours to this heavy absence, and every one will become a day in his amorous account.
so, to be short, i saw nothing was to be done; and i feared, sir, you would wonder at my stay, and be angry; and i watched my opportunity, till my lady, who was walking about the room, was at the further end; and the parlour being a ground-floor, in a manner, i jumped out at the window, and ran for it.
her ladyship called after me; so did her woman; and i heard her say, i flew like a bird; and she called two of her servants in sight to stop me; but i said, touch me at your peril, fellows! and mr. colbrand, having been planted at hand by mrs. jewkes, (who was very good in the whole affair, and incurred her ladyship's displeasure, once or twice, by taking my part,) seeing how i was used, put on a fierce look, cocked his hat with one hand, and put t'other on his sword, and said, he would chine the man who offered to touch his lady. and so he ran alongside of me, and could hardly keep pace with me:—and here, my dear sir, concluded i, i am, at yours and the good company's service.
they seemed highly pleased with my relation; and my master said, he was glad mrs. jewkes behaved so well, as also mr. colbrand. yes, sir, said i: when mrs. jewkes interposed once, her ladyship said, it was hard, she, who was born in that house, could not have some privilege in it, without being talked to by the saucy servants. and she called her another time fat-face, and womaned her most violently.
well, said my master, i am glad, my dear, you have had such an escape. my sister was always passionate, as mrs. peters knows: and my poor mother had enough to do with us both. for we neither of us wanted spirit: and when i was a boy, i never came home from school or college for a few days, but though we longed to see one another before, yet ere the first day was over, we had a quarrel; for she, being seven years older than i, was always for domineering over me, and i could not bear it. and i used, on her frequently quarrelling with the maids, and being always at a word and a blow, to call her captain bab; for her name is barbara. and when my lord davers courted her, my poor mother has made up quarrels between them three times in a day; and i used to tell her, she would certainly beat her husband, marry whom she would, if he did not beat her first, and break her spirit.
yet has she, continued he, very good qualities. she was a dutiful daughter, is a good wife; she is bountiful to her servants, firm in her friendships, charitable to the poor, and, i believe, never any sister better loved a brother, than she me: and yet she always loved to vex and tease me; and as i would bear a resentment longer than she, she'd be one moment the most provoking creature in the world, and the next would do any thing to be forgiven; and i have made her, when she was the aggressor, follow me all over the house and garden to be upon good terms with me.
but this case piques her more, because she had found out a match for me in the family of a person of quality, and had set her heart upon bringing it to effect, and had even proceeded far in it, without my knowledge, and brought me into the lady's company, unknowing of her design. but i was then averse to matrimony upon any terms; and was angry at her proceeding in it so far without my privity or encouragement: and she cannot, for this reason, bear the thoughts of my being now married, and to her mother's waiting-maid too, as she reminds my dear pamela, when i had declined her proposal with the daughter of a noble earl.
this is the whole case, said he; and, allowing for the pride and violence of her spirit, and that she knows not, as i do, the transcendent excellencies of my dear pamela, and that all her view, in her own conception, is mine and the family honour, she is a little to be allowed for: though, never fear, my pamela, but that i, who never had a struggle with her, wherein i did not get the better, will do you justice, and myself too.
this account of lady davers pleased every body, and was far from being to her ladyship's disadvantage in the main; and i would do any thing in the world to have the honour to be in her good graces: yet i fear it will not be easily, if at all, effected. but i will proceed.
after supper, nothing would serve miss darnford and miss boroughs, but we must have a dance; and mr. peters, who plays a good fiddle, urged it forward. my dear master, though in a riding-dress, took out miss boroughs.
sir simon, for a man of his years, danced well, and took me out; but put on one of his free jokes, that i was fitter to dance with a younger man; and he would have it, (though i had not danced since my dear lady's death to signify, except once or twice to please mrs. jervis, and, indeed, believed all my dancing days over,) that as my master and i were the best dancers, we should dance once together, before folks, as the odd gentleman said; and my dear sir was pleased to oblige him: and afterwards danced with miss darnford, who has much more skill and judgment than i; though they compliment me with an easier shape and air.
we left the company with great difficulty at about eleven, my dear master having been up all night before, and we being at the greatest distance from home; though they seemed inclinable not to break up so soon, as they were neighbours; and the ladies said, they longed to hear what would be the end of lady davers's interview with her brother.
my master said, he feared we must not now think of going next day to bedfordshire, as we had intended; and perhaps might see them again. and so we took leave, and set out for home; where we arrived not till twelve o'clock; and found lady davers had gone to bed about eleven, wanting sadly that we should come home first; but so did not i.
mrs. jewkes told us, that my lady was sadly fretted that i had got away so; and seemed a little apprehensive of what i would say of the usage i had received from her. she asked mrs. jewkes, if she thought i was really married? and mrs. jewkes telling her yes, she fell into a passion, and said, begone, bold woman, i cannot bear thee! see not my face till i send for thee! thou hast been very impudent to me once or twice to-day already, and art now worse than ever. she said, she would not have told her ladyship, if she had not asked her; and was sorry she had offended.
she sent for her at supper time: said she, i have another question to ask thee, woman, and tell me yes, if thou darest. was ever any thing so odd?—why then, said mrs. jewkes, i will say no, before your ladyship speaks.—my master laughed: poor woman! said he.—she called her insolent, and assurance; and said, begone, bold woman as thou art!—but come hither. dost thou know if that young harlot is to be with my brother to-night?
she said she knew not what to answer, because she had threatened her if she said yes. but at last my lady said, i will know the bottom of this iniquity. i suppose they won't have so much impudence to be together while i'm in the house; but i dare say they have been bed-fellows.
said she, i will lie to-night in the room i was born in; so get that bed ready. that room being our bedchamber, mrs. jewkes, after some hesitation, replied, madam, my master lies there, and has the key. i believe, woman, said she, thou tellest me a story. indeed, madam, said she, he does; and has some papers there he will let nobody see; for mrs. jewkes said, she feared she would beat her if she went up, and found by my clothes, and some of my master's, how it was.
so she said, i will then lie in the best room, as it is called; and jackey shall lie in the little green room adjoining to it. has thy master got the keys of those?—no, madam, said mrs. jewkes: i will order them to be made ready for your ladyship.
and where dost thou lay the pursy sides? said she. up two pair of stairs, madam, next the garden. and where lies the young harlotry? continued she. sometimes with me, madam, said she. and sometimes with thy virtuous master, i suppose? said my lady.—ha, woman! what sayest thou? i must not speak, said mrs. jewkes. well, thou mayest go, said she; but thou hast the air of a secret keeper of that sort i dare say thoul't set the good work forward most cordially. poor mrs. jewkes, said my master, and laughed most heartily.
this talk we had whilst we were undressing. so she and her woman lay together in the room my master lay in before i was happy.
i said, dear sir, pray, in the morning let me lock myself up in the closet, as soon as you rise; and not be called down for ever so much; for i am afraid to see her ladyship: and i will employ myself about my journal, while these things are in my head. don't be afraid, my dear, said he: am not i with you?
mrs. jewkes pitied me for what i had undergone in the day; and i said, we won't make the worst of it to my dear master, because we won't exasperate where we would reconcile: but, added i, i am much obliged to you, mrs. jewkes, and i thank you. said my master, i hope she did not beat your lady, mrs. jewkes? not much, sir, said she; but i believe i saved my lady once: yet, added she, i was most vexed at the young lord. ay, mrs. jewkes, said my master, let me know his behaviour. i can chastise him, though i cannot my sister, who is a woman; let me therefore know the part he acted.
nothing, my dear sir, said i, but impertinence, if i may so say, and foolishness, that was very provoking; but i spared him not; and so there is no room, sir, for your anger. no, sir, said mrs. jewkes, nothing else indeed.
how was her woman? said my master. pretty impertinent, replied mrs. jewkes, as ladies' women will be. but, said i, you know she saved me once or twice. very true, madam, returned mrs. jewkes. and she said to me at table, that you were a sweet creature; she never saw your equal; but that you had a spirit; and she was sorry you answered her lady so, who never bore so much contradiction before. i told her, added mrs. jewkes, that if i was in your ladyship's place, i should have taken much more upon me, and that you were all sweetness. and she said, i was got over, she saw.
tuesday morning, the sixth of my happiness.
my master had said to mrs. jewkes, that he should not rise till eight or nine, as he had sat up all the night before: but it seems, my lady, knowing he usually rose about six, got up soon after that hour; raised her woman and her nephew; having a whimsical scheme in her head, to try to find whether we were in bed together: and, about half an hour after six, she rapped at our chamber door.
my master was waked at the noise, and asked, who was there? open the door, said she; open it this minute! i said, clinging about his neck, dear, dear sir, pray, pray don't!—o save me, save me! don't fear, pamela, said he. the woman's mad, i believe.
but he called out; who are you? what do you want?—you know my voice well enough, said she:—i will come in.—pray, sir, said i, don't let her ladyship in.—don't be frightened, my dear, said he; she thinks we are not married, and are afraid to be found a-bed together. i'll let her in; but she shan't come near my dearest.
so he slipt out of bed, and putting on some of his clothes, and gown and slippers, he said, what bold body dare disturb my repose thus? and opened the door. in rushed she: i'll see your wickedness, said she, i will! in vain shall you think to hide it from me.—what should i hide? said he. how dare you set a foot into my house, after the usage i have received from you?—i had covered myself over head and ears, and trembled every joint. he looked, and 'spied her woman and kinsman in the room, she crying out, bear witness, jackey; bear witness, beck; the creature is now in his bed! and not seeing the young gentleman before, who was at the feet of the bed, he said, how now, sir? what's your business in this apartment? begone this moment!—and he went away directly.
beck, said my lady, you see the creature is in his bed. i do, madam, answered she. my master came to me, and said, ay, look, beck, and bear witness: here is my pamela!—my dear angel, my lovely creature, don't be afraid; look up, and see how frantickly this woman of quality behaves.
at that, i just peeped, and saw my lady, who could not bear this, coming to me; and she said, wicked abandoned wretch! vile brother, to brave me thus! i'll tear the creature out of bed before your face, and expose you both as you deserve.
at that he took her in his arms, as if she had been nothing; and carrying her out of the room, she cried out, beck! beck! help me, beck! the wretch is going to fling me down stairs! her woman ran to him, and said, good sir, for heaven's sake do no violence to my lady! her ladyship has been ill all night.
he sat her down in the chamber she lay in, and she could not speak for passion. take care of your lady, said he; and when she has rendered herself more worthy of my attention, i'll see her; till then, at her peril, and yours too, come not near my apartment. and so he came to me, and, with all the sweet soothing words in the world, pacified my fears, and gave me leave to go to write in my closet, as soon as my fright was over, and to stay there till things were more calm. and so he dressed himself, and went out of the chamber, permitting me, at my desire, to fasten the door after him.
at breakfast-time my master tapped at the door, and i said, who's there? i, my dearest, said he. oh! then, replied i, i will open it with pleasure. i had written on a good deal; but i put it by, when i ran to the door. i would have locked it again, when he was in; but he said, am not i here? don't be afraid. said he, will you come down to breakfast, my love? o no, dear sir, said i; be pleased to excuse me! said he, i cannot bear the look of it, that the mistress of my house should breakfast in her closet, as if she durst not come down, and i at home!—o, dearest sir, replied i, pray pass that over, for my sake; and don't let my presence aggravate your sister, for a kind punctilio! then, my dear, said he, i will breakfast with you here. no, pray, dear sir, answered i, breakfast with your sister. that, my dear, replied he, will too much gratify her pride, and look like a slight to you.—dear sir, said i, your goodness is too great, for me to want punctilious proofs of it. pray oblige her ladyship. she is your guest surely, sir, you may be freest with your dutiful wife!
she is a strange woman, said he: how i pity her!—she has thrown herself into a violent fit of the colic, through passion: and is but now, her woman says, a little easier. i hope, sir, said i, when you carried her ladyship out, you did not hurt her. no, replied he, i love her too well. i set her down in the apartment she had chosen: and she but now desires to see me, and that i will breakfast with her, or refuses to touch any thing. but, if my dearest please, i will insist it shall be with you at the same time.
o, no, no, dear sir! said i; i should not forgive myself, if i did. i would on my knees beg her ladyship's goodness to me, now i am in your presence; though i thought i ought to carry it a little stiff when you were absent, for the sake of the honour you have done me. and, dear sir, if my deepest humility will please, permit me to shew it.
you shall do nothing, returned he, unworthy of my wife, to please the proud woman!—but i will, however, permit you to breakfast by yourself this once, as i have not seen her since i have used her in so barbarous a manner, as i understand she exclaims i have; and as she will not eat any thing, unless i give her my company.—so he saluted me, and withdrew; and i locked the door after him again for fear.
mrs. jewkes soon after rapped at the door. who's there? said i. only i, madam. so i opened the door. 'tis a sad thing, madam, said she, you should be so much afraid in your own house. she brought me some chocolate and toast; and i asked her about my lady's behaviour. she said, she would not suffer any body to attend but her woman, because she would not be heard what she had to say; but she believed, she said, her master was very angry with the young lord, as she called her kinsman; for, as she passed by the door, she heard him say, in a high tone, i hope, sir, you did not forget what belongs to the character you assume; or to that effect.
about one o'clock my master came up again, and he said, will you come down to dinner, pamela, when i send for you? whatever you command, sir, i must do. but my lady won't desire to see me. no matter whether she will or no. but i will not suffer, that she shall prescribe her insolent will to my wife, and in your own house too.—i will, by my tenderness to you, mortify her pride; and it cannot be done so well as to her face.
dearest sir, said i, pray indulge me, and let me dine here by myself. it will make my lady but more inveterate.—said he, i have told her we are married. she is out of all patience about it, and yet pretends not to believe it. upon that i tell her, then she shall have it her own way, and that i am not. and what has she to do with it either way? she has scolded and begged, commanded and prayed, blessed me, and cursed me, by turns, twenty times in these few hours. and i have sometimes soothed her, sometimes raged; and at last left her, and took a turn in the garden for an hour to compose myself, because you should not see how the foolish woman has ruffled me; and just now i came out, seeing her coming in.
just as he had said so, i cried, oh! my lady, my lady! for i heard her voice in the chamber, saying, brother, brother, one word with you—stopping in sight of the closet where i was. he stepped out, and she went up to the window that looks towards the garden, and said, mean fool that i am, to follow you up and down the house in this manner, though i am shunned and avoided by you! you a brother!—you a barbarian! is it possible we could be born of one mother?
why, said he, do you charge me with a conduct to you, that you bring upon yourself?—is it not surprising that you should take the liberty with me, that the dear mother you have named never gave you an example for to any of her relations?—was it not sufficient, that i was insolently taken to task by you in your letters, but my retirements must be invaded? my house insulted? and, if i have one person dearer to me than another, that that person must be singled out for an object of your violence?
ay, said she, that one person is the thing!—but though i came with a resolution to be temperate, and to expostulate with you on your avoiding me so unkindly, yet cannot i have patience to look upon that bed in which i was born, and to be made the guilty scene of your wickedness with such a——
hush! said he, i charge you! call not the dear girl by any name unworthy of her. you know not, as i told you, her excellence; and i desire you'll not repeat the freedoms you have taken below.
she stamped with her foot, and said, god give me patience! so much contempt to a sister that loves you so well; and so much tenderness to a vile——
he put his hand before her mouth: be silent, said he, once more, i charge you! you know not the innocence you abuse so freely. i ought not, neither will i bear it.
she sat down and fanned herself, and burst into tears, and such sobs of grief, or rather passion, that grieved me to hear; and i sat and trembled sadly.
he walked about the room in great anger; and at last said, let me ask you, lady davers, why i am thus insolently to be called to account by you? am i not independent? am i not of age? am i not at liberty to please myself?—would to god, that, instead of a woman, and my sister, any man breathing had dared, whatever were his relation under that of a father, to give himself half the airs you have done!—why did you not send on this accursed errand your lord, who could write me such a letter as no gentleman should write, nor any gentleman tamely receive? he should have seen the difference.
we all know, said she, that, since your italian duel, you have commenced a bravo; and all your airs breathe as strongly of the manslayer as of the libertine. this, said he, i will bear; for i have no reason to be ashamed of that duel, nor the cause of it; since it was to save a friend, and because it is levelled at myself only: but suffer not your tongue to take too great a liberty with my pamela.
she interrupted him in a violent burst of passion. if i bear this, said she, i can bear any thing!—o the little strumpet!—he interrupted her then, and said wrathfully, begone, rageful woman! begone this moment from my presence! leave my house this instant!—i renounce you, and all relation to you! and never more let me see your face, or call me brother! and took her by the hand to lead her out. she laid hold of the curtains of the window, and said, i will not go! you shall not force me from you thus ignominiously in the wretch's hearing, and suffer her to triumph over me in your barbarous treatment of me.
not considering any thing, i ran out of the closet, and threw myself at my dear master's feet, as he held her hand, in order to lead her out; and i said, dearest sir, let me beg, that no act of unkindness, for my sake, pass between so worthy and so near relations. dear, dear madam, said i, and clasped her knees, pardon and excuse the unhappy cause of all this evil; on my knees i beg your ladyship to receive me to your grace and favour, and you shall find me incapable of any triumph but in your ladyship's goodness to me.
creature, said she, art thou to beg an excuse for me?—art thou to implore my forgiveness? is it to thee i am to owe the favour, that i am not cast headlong from my brother's presence? begone to thy corner, wench! begone, i say, lest thy paramour kill me for trampling thee under my foot!
rise, my dear pamela, said my master; rise, dear life of my life; and expose not so much worthiness to the ungrateful scorn of so violent a spirit. and so he led me to my closet again, and there i sat and wept.
her woman came up, just as he had led me to my closet, and was returning to her lady; and she very humbly said, excuse my intrusion, good sir!—i hope i may come to my lady. yes, mrs. worden, said he, you may come in; and pray take your lady down stairs with you, for fear i should too much forget what belongs either to my sister or myself!
i began to think (seeing her ladyship so outrageous with her brother) what a happy escape i had had the day before, though hardly enough used in conscience too, as i thought.
her woman begged her ladyship to walk down; and she said, beck, seest thou that bed? that was the bed that i was born in; and yet that was the bed thou sawest, as well as i, the wicked pamela in, this morning, and this brother of mine just risen from her!
true, said he; you both saw it, and it is my pride that you could see it. 'tis my bridal bed; and 'tis abominable that the happiness i knew before you came hither, should be so barbarously interrupted.
swear to me but, thou bold wretch! said she, swear to me, that pamela andrews is really and truly thy lawful wife, without sham, without deceit, without double-meaning; and i know what i have to say!
i'll humour you for once, said he; and then swore a solemn oath that i was. and, said he, did i not tell you so at first?
i cannot yet believe you, said she; because, in this particular, i had rather have called you knave than fool.—provoke me not too much, said he; for, if i should as much forget myself as you have done, you'd have no more of a brother in me, than i have a sister in you.
who married you? said she: tell me that! was it not a broken attorney in a parson's habit? tell me truly, in the wench's hearing. when she's undeceived, she'll know how to behave herself better! thank god, thought i, it is not so.
no, said he; and i'll tell you, that i bless god, i abhorred that project, before it was brought to bear: and mr. williams married us.—nay then, said she—but answer me another question or two, i beseech you: who gave her away? parson peters, said he. where was the ceremony performed? in my little chapel, which you may see, as it was put in order on purpose.
now, said she, i begin to fear there is something in it! but who was present? said she. methinks, replied he, i look like a fine puppy, to suffer myself to be thus interrogated by an insolent sister: but, if you must know, mrs. jewkes was present. o the procuress! said she: but nobody else? yes, said he, all my heart and soul!
wretch! said she; and what would thy father and mother have said, had they lived to this day? their consents, replied he, i should have thought it my duty to ask; but not yours, madam.
suppose, said she, i had married my father's groom! what would you have said to that?—i could not have behaved worse, replied he, than you have done. and would you not have thought, said she, i had deserved it.
said he, does your pride let you see no difference in the case you put? none at all, said she. where can the difference be between a beggar's son married by a lady, or a beggar's daughter made a gentleman's wife?
then i'll tell you, replied he; the difference is, a man ennobles the woman he takes, be she who she will; and adopts her into his own rank, be it what it will: but a woman, though ever so nobly born, debases herself by a mean marriage, and descends from her own rank to his she stoops to.
when the royal family of stuart allied itself into the low family of hyde, (comparatively low, i mean,) did any body scruple to call the lady, royal highness, and duchess of york? and did any body think her daughters, the late queen mary and queen anne, less royal for that?
when the broken-fortuned peer goes into the city to marry a rich tradesman's daughter, be he duke or earl, does not his consort immediately become ennobled by his choice? and who scruples to call her lady, duchess, or countess?
but when a duchess or countess dowager descends to mingle with a person of obscure birth, does she not then degrade herself? and is she not effectually degraded? and will any duchess or countess rank with her?
now, lady davers, do you not see a difference between my marrying my dear mother's beloved and deserving waiting-maid, with a million of excellencies about her, and such graces of mind and person as would adorn any distinction; and your marrying a sordid groom, whose constant train of education, conversation, and opportunities, could possibly give him no other merit, than that which must proceed from the vilest, lowest taste, in his sordid dignifier?
o the wretch! said she, how he finds excuses to palliate his meanness!
again, said he, let me observe to you, lady davers, when a duke marries a private person, is he not still her head, by virtue of being her husband? but, when a lady descends to marry a groom, is not the groom her head, being her husband? and does not the difference strike you? for what lady of quality ought to respect another, who has made so sordid a choice, and set a groom above her? for, would not that be to put that groom upon a par with themselves?—call this palliation, or what you will; but if you see not the difference, you are blind; and a very unfit judge for yourself, much more unfit to be a censurer of me.
i'd have you, said she, publish your fine reasons to the world, and they will be sweet encouragements to all the young gentlemen who read them to cast themselves away on the servant-wenches in their families.
not at all, lady davers, replied he: for, if any young gentleman stays till he finds such a person as my pamela, so enriched with the beauties of person and mind, so well accomplished, and so fitted to adorn the degree she is raised to, he will stand as easily acquitted, as i shall be to all the world that sees her, except there be many more lady davers than i apprehend can possibly be met with.
and so, returned she, you say you are actually and really married, honestly, or rather foolishly married, to this slut?
i am, indeed, says he, if you presume to call her so! and why should i not, if i please? who is there ought to contradict me? whom have i hurt by it?—have i not an estate, free and independent?—am i likely to be beholden to you, or any of my relations? and why, when i have a sufficiency in my own single hands, should i scruple to make a woman equally happy, who has all i want? for beauty, virtue, prudence, and generosity too, i will tell you, she has more than any lady i ever saw. yes, lady davers, she has all these naturally; they are born with her; and a few years' education, with her genius, has done more for her, than a whole life has done for others.
no more, no more, i beseech you, said she; thou surfeitest me, honest man! with thy weak folly. thou art worse than an idolater; thou hast made a graven image, and thou fallest down and worshippest the works of thy own hands; and, jeroboam-like, wouldst have every body else bow down before thy calf!
well said, lady davers! whenever your passion suffers you to descend to witticism; 'tis almost over with you. but let me tell you, though i myself worship this sweet creature, that you call such names, i want nobody else to do it; and should be glad you had not intruded upon me, to interrupt me in the course of our mutual happiness.
well said, well said, my kind, my well-mannered brother! said she. i shall, after this, very little interrupt your mutual happiness, i'll assure you. i thought you a gentleman once, and prided myself in my brother: but i'll say now with the burial service, ashes to ashes, and dirt to dirt!
ay, said he, lady davers, and there we must all end at last; you with all your pride, and i with my plentiful fortune, must come to it; and then where will be your distinction? let me tell you, except you and i both mend our manners, though you have been no duellist, no libertine, as you call me, this amiable girl, whom your vanity and folly so much despise, will out-soar us both, infinitely out-soar us; and he who judges best, will give the preference where due, without regard to birth or fortune.
egregious preacher! said she: what, my brother already turned puritan!—see what marriage and repentance may bring a man to! i heartily congratulate this change!—well, said she, (and came towards me, and i trembled to see her coming; but her brother followed to observe her, and i stood up at her approach, and she said,) give me thy hand, mrs. pamela, mrs. andrews, mrs. what shall i call thee?—thou hast done wonders in a little time; thou hast not only made a rake a husband but thou hast made a rake a preacher! but take care, added she, after all, in ironical anger, and tapped me on the neck, take care that thy vanity begins not where his ends; and that thou callest not thyself my sister.
she shall, i hope, lady davers, said he, when she can make as great a convert of you from pride, as she has of me, from libertinism.
mrs. jewkes just then came up, and said dinner was ready. come, my pamela, said my dear master; you desired to be excused from breakfasting with us; but i hope you'll give lady davers and me your company to dinner.
how dare you insult me thus? said my lady.—how dare you, said he, insult me by your conduct in my own house, after i have told you i am married? how dare you think of staying here one moment, and refuse my wife the honours that belong to her as such?
merciful god! said she, give me patience! and held her hand to her forehead.
pray, sir, dear sir, said i, excuse me, don't vex my lady:—be silent, my dear love, said he; you see already what you have got by your sweet condescension. you have thrown yourself at her feet, and, insolent as she is, she has threatened to trample upon you. she'll ask you, presently, if she is to owe her excuse to your interposition? and yet nothing else can make her forgiven.
poor lady, she could not bear this; and, as if she was discomposed, she ran to her poor grieved woman, and took hold of her hand, and said, lead me down, lead me down, beck! let us instantly quit this house, this cursed house, that once i took pleasure in! order the fellows to get ready, and i will never see it, nor its owner, more. and away she went down stairs, in a great hurry. and the servants were ordered to make ready for their departure.
i saw my master was troubled, and i went to him, and said, pray, dear sir, follow my lady down, and pacify her. 'tis her love to you.—poor woman! said he, i am concerned for her! but i insist upon your coming down, since things are gone so far. her pride will get new strength else, and we shall be all to begin again.
dearest, dear sir, said i, excuse my going down this once! indeed, my dear, i won't, replied he. what! shall it be said, that my sister shall scare my wife from my table, and i present?—no, i have borne too much already; and so have you: and i charge you come down when i send for you.
he departed, saying these words, and i durst not dispute; for i saw he was determined. and there is as much majesty as goodness in him, as i have often had reason to observe; though never more than on the present occasion with his sister. her ladyship instantly put on her hood and gloves, and her woman tied up a handkerchief full of things; for her principal matters were not unpacked; and her coachman got her chariot ready, and her footmen their horses; and she appeared resolved to go. but her kinsman and mr. colbrand had taken a turn together, somewhere; and she would not come in, but sat fretting on a seat in the fore-yard, with her woman by her; and, at last, said to one of the footmen, do you, james, stay to attend my nephew; and we'll take the road we came.
mrs. jewkes went to her ladyship, and said, your ladyship will be pleased to stay dinner; 'tis just coming upon table? no, said she, i have enough of this house; i have indeed. but give my service to your master, and i wish him happier than he has made me.
he had sent for me down, and i came, though unwillingly, and the cloth was laid in the parlour i had jumped out of; and there was my master walking about it. mrs. jewkes came in, and asked, if he pleased to have dinner brought in? for my lady would not come in, but desired her service, and wished him happier than he had made her. he, seeing her at the window, when he went to that side of the room, all ready to go, stept out to her, and said, lady davers, if i thought you would not be hardened, rather than softened, by my civility, i would ask you to walk in; and, at least, let your kinsman and servants dine before they go. she wept, and turned her face from him, to hide it. he took her hand, and said, come, sister, let me prevail upon you: walk in. no, said she, don't ask me.—i wish i could hate you, as much as you hate me!—you do, said he, and a great deal more, i'll assure you; or else you'd not vex me as you do.—come, pray walk in. don't ask me, said she. her kinsman just then returned: why, madam, said he, your ladyship won't go till you have dined, i hope. no, jackey, said she, i can't stay; i'm an intruder here, it seems!—think, said my master, of the occasion you gave for that word. your violent passions are the only intruders! lay them aside, and never sister was dearer to a brother. don't say such another word, said she, i beseech you; for i am too easy to forgive you any thing for one kind word!—you shall have one hundred, said he, nay, ten thousand, if they will do, my dear sister. and, kissing her, he added, pray give me your hand. john, said he, put up the horses; you are all as welcome to me, for all your lady's angry with me, as at any inn you can put up at. come, mr. h——, said he, lead your aunt in; for she won't permit that honour to me.
this quite overcame her; and she said, giving her brother her hand, yes, i will, and you shall lead me any where! and kissed him. but don't think, said she, i can forgive you neither. and so he led her into the parlour where i was. but, said she, why do you lead me to this wench? 'tis my wife, my dear sister; and if you will not love her, yet don't forget common civilities to her, for your own sake.
pray, madam, said her kinsman, since your brother is pleased to own his marriage, we must not forget common civilities, as mr. b—— says. and, sir, added he, permit me to wish you joy. thank you, sir, said he. and may i? said he, looking at me. yes, sir, replied my master. so he saluted me, very complaisantly; and said, i vow to gad, madam, i did not know this yesterday; and if i was guilty of a fault, i beg your pardon.
my lady said, thou'rt a good-natured foolish fellow; thou might'st have saved this nonsensical parade, till i had given thee leave. why, aunt, said he, if they are actually married, there's no help for it; and we must not make mischief between man and wife.
but brother, said she, do you think i'll sit at table with the creature? no contemptuous names, i beseech you, lady davers! i tell you she is really my wife; and i must be a villain to suffer her to be ill used. she has no protector but me; and, if you will permit her, she will always love and honour you.—indeed, indeed i will, madam, said i.
i cannot, i won't sit down at table with her, said she: pamela, i hope thou dost not think i will?—indeed, madam, said i, if your good brother will permit it, i will attend your chair all the time you dine, to shew my veneration for your ladyship, as the sister of my kind protector. see, said he, her condition has not altered her; but i cannot permit in her a conduct unworthy of my wife; and i hope my sister will not expect it neither.
let her leave the room, replied she, if i must stay. indeed you are out of the way, aunt, said her kinsman; that is not right, as things stand. said my master, no, madam, that must not be; but, if it must be so, we'll have two tables; you and your nephew shall sit at one, and my wife and i at the other: and then see what a figure your unreasonable punctilio will make you cut.—she seemed irresolute, and he placed her at the table; the first course, which was fish, being brought in. where, said she to me, would'st thou presume to sit? would'st have me give place to thee too, wench?—come, come, said my master, i'll put that out of dispute; and so set himself down by her ladyship, at the upper end of the table, and placed me at his left hand. excuse me, my dear, said he; this once excuse me!—oh! your cursed complaisance, said she, to such a——. hush, sister! hush! said he: i will not bear to hear her spoken slightly of! 'tis enough, that, to oblige your violent and indecent caprice, you make me compromise with you thus.
come, sir, added he, pray take your place next your gentle aunt!—beck, said she, do you sit down by pamela there, since it must be so; we'll be hail fellow all! with all my heart, replied my master; i have so much honour for all the sex, that i would not have the meanest person of it stand, while i sit, had i been to have made the custom. mrs. worden, pray sit down. sir, said she, i hope i shall know my place better.
my lady sat considering; and then, lifting up her hands, said, lord! what will this world come to?—to nothing but what's very good, replied my master, if such spirits as lady davers's do but take the rule of it. shall i help you, sister, to some of the carp? help your beloved! said she. that's kind! said he.—now, that's my good lady davers! here, my love, let me help you, since my sister desires it.—mighty well, returned she, mighty well!—but sat on one side, turning from me, as it were.
dear aunt, said her kinsman, let's see you buss and be friends: since 'tis so, what signifies it? hold thy fool's tongue! said she: is thy tone so soon turned since yesterday? said my master, i hope nothing affronting was offered yesterday to my wife, in her own house. she hit him a good smart slap on the shoulder: take that, impudent brother said she. i'll wife you, and in her own house! she seemed half afraid: but he, in very good humour, kissed her, and said, i thank you, sister, i thank you. but i have not had a blow from you before for some time!
'fore gad, said her kinsman, 'tis very kind of you to take it so well. her ladyship is as good a woman as ever lived; but i've had many a cuff from her myself.
i won't put it up neither, said my master, except you'll assure me you have seen her serve her lord so.
i pressed my foot to his, and said, softly, don't, dear sir!—what! said she, is the creature begging me off from insult? if his manners won't keep him from outraging me, i won't owe his forebearance to thee, wench.