when you start out to "bob," it is just as well to determine in advance what kind of bobbing you are going to do. there are several kinds, as most young people know—such as bobbing for apples, bobbing for eels, and bobbing on a bob-sled. a rule which would do very well when bobbing for apples would not suit you at all when sliding down hill, and vice versa. therefore, the first general rule for bobbing is to select your kind, and then go ahead. the following rules are for the sled variety:
1. first get your bob. there is no use of trying to go bobbing without a bob. the boy who tries to bob without a bob is apt to wear his clothes out in a very short time, and to experience considerable discomfort into the bargain.
2. having secured your bob, and got its runners and steering-gear into good working order, select a convenient hill upon which to coast, and start from the top of it. this is one of the most important of the rules of bobbing. boys who have tried the experiment of starting to bob from the foot of the hill have met with considerable opposition not from the people about them, but from certain principles of nature which make it impossible for even the best of bob-sleds to coast up hill, and while there is no law against your trying to coast up hill which would result in your being put into jail if you broke it, persistence in the effort might result in your landing sooner or later in a lunatic asylum.
3. having started from the top of the hill, then stick as closely as you can to the line mapped out before the "shove-off." it is always well to know where you are going to land, particularly when you are bobbing. it is true that when columbus started out to discover america he did not know where he was going to land, or, indeed, that he was going to land at all, but he had a pretty good general idea of the possibilities, and that is what you need to have before the shove-off. the experiences of a new hampshire boy who ignored this point will show its importance. he shoved off all right, but having left the chosen path, found himself speeding down the hill directly at the rear of the village church. he could not stop, and the first thing he knew he crashed through the stained-glass windows, down through the middle aisle, and out into the street, slap bang into the arms of the town constable. he was arrested, and his father having to pay the fine imposed, as well as to give the church new windows, and carpet for the middle aisle, where the runners of the bob had destroyed the old one, made him very uncomfortable by spanking him regularly every time it snowed during the following winter.
4. do not try to coast unless there is snow on the ground. coasting on bare hill-sides or down stony roads is not very exhilarating sport, nor will the oiling of your runners help you a bit. the only boy who ever got far by oiling his runners for a slide on a snowless road covered twenty feet, and then had his bob destroyed by fire. he had used kerosene oil, and the friction of the runners upon the road created such an intense heat that the oil ignited, and in a short time the bob was a smoking ruin. what became of the boy is not known, but it is safe to say that if he were scorched at all he would have found the snow rather more cooling than the country road without it.
5. if on your way down hill you see a horse and wagon approaching, do not try to slide between the wheels and under the horse; nor should you trust to a fortunate thank-you-marm in the road to enable you to jump the obstruction. steer to one side if there is room, and if there isn't, try your fortunes in a convenient snow-bank, should there happen to be one, and if there shouldn't happen to be one, do the best you can with what snow there is. it is better to be landed head-first in the snow than to become involved with a horse and wagon in any way.
6. in case your bob should run into an unforeseen stump on the way down, you might as well make up your mind to keep on your journey whether the bob stops short or not. you cannot help doing so, whether you wish to or not, and it is always well, in view of possible accidents of this sort, to have it understood by on-lookers that that was the way you intended to do, anyhow. if you can convince the on-looker of this, he will not have half as much excuse for laughing at you as he might otherwise have.
7. the last of the suggestions to be made here at this time is the only rule that young ladies need observe in bobbing. that rule is to leave the management of the whole affair to the boys. just take your places on the bob and don't bother. the boys will attend to everything involved in the preceding rules, and then when the foot of the hill is reached, after a glorious trip down the precipitous descent will, if they are the right kind of boys, tell you to sit still and they will haul you back to the top again. of course this rule is not available in leap-year, when, if the young ladies insist upon having all their rights, it will become their turn to take charge and to haul the boys up.
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