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CHAPTER XX The Pool of Truth

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there by the pool on a log with a book in her lap sat eugenia. she was not reading, however, although her book lay open. at the sound of captain castaigne’s chair approaching she looked toward him.

the young man’s expression was severe on this occasion, not eugenia’s.

“i am sorry to intrude upon you,” he began stiffly. “your friends told me that you were suffering from a headache; naturally i did not expect to find you here.”

in response eugenia smiled good-naturedly, just as one might to a fretful child. she had gotten up at once and now came forward and took the young man’s hand.

“i did have a headache, captain castaigne. i am too good a puritan to have told a complete story. but while i did not[251] feel well enough to see and talk to a number of persons, i did not desire to go to bed, where barbara was pleased to send me by way of punishment. besides, i knew your mother would prefer to have the two girls to herself. i really think she misses them now that they can see so little of each other. but why talk about me? you are stronger every day, aren’t you? can’t you walk with your crutches if fran?ois is near? come, won’t you try now? i am sure i can catch you if you are too much for fran?ois.”

two spots of angry color appeared in captain castaigne’s cheeks.

“i am through with your support, miss paybodé,” he returned curtly. “when i choose to walk i prefer not to be held up by a woman.”

“oh,” eugenia answered, and stared at her former patient helplessly. what had she said or done to make him so angry?

but the next instant the young officer had taken her hand and in french fashion touched it with his lips.

“forgive me,” he said, “i am impossible.[252] this, after i depended on you so long for every care. if you will be so good, i think i should like to sit there on the log where you were sitting.”

during his illness eugenia had grown so accustomed to these swift changes of mood in her patient that she paid no especial attention to this one. instead she helped him out of his chair and kept at his side while he hobbled over to the log she had just deserted.

but when she stood above him looking down upon him with pride and satisfaction over his achievement he grew angry again.

“if you cannot sit beside me i have no idea of taking your place,” he protested.

the next instant eugenia sank meekly down. it rather amused her to have captain castaigne treat her in this fashion.

just before them was the small lake which nona and barbara had discovered the first morning after their arrival at the farmhouse. it was shadowy now with the coming of evening, but still the water was coolly clear. its beauty soothed one to silence.

[253]

it was eugenia who spoke first.

“i am glad to have this moment here with you, captain castaigne,” she began, with a return to her former manner. “because i wish to tell you and have you explain to your mother that nona and barbara and i may be leaving this part of the country in a little while. the truth is, our services as nurses are not needed here as they were some months ago. there is little fighting going on and several new french nurses came down from paris the other day. besides this, mrs. thornton and judge thornton have grown very nervous and unhappy over mildred, as well as the rest of us, in the last few weeks. they have both written to urge me to persuade the other girls to join me and go into belgium to help with the relief work there. you are almost well now, so i shall be able to say good-by with much greater satisfaction.”

this last speech eugenia made in a gracious tone and yet her companion received it ungraciously. and this in spite of the fact that his manner was usually charming.

[254]

“there is no time when you would not say good-by to me with satisfaction, miss paybodé,” he returned. “however, if i am spared perhaps i may some day show my appreciation of your great kindness. i have written my colonel to say that i shall be able to rejoin my command in another week or ten days. i have wasted much valuable time with two illnesses. perhaps the third may be my lucky one!” he finished, casting his dark eyes upward with dramatic intensity.

in reply eugenia actually patted his knee in a comforting, motherly fashion.

“don’t be absurd. you cannot return to your command for two or three months at least,” she admonished.

“two or three weeks shall be the limit to my patience,” her companion repeated, still talking like a sulky boy.

eugenia frowned. “i shall speak to your mother. she will never allow it.” again her manner was that of a new england school teacher. nevertheless captain castaigne did not smile. yet he seemed to have forgotten his age and dignity[255] as well as rank in the army, for you see he had been a good many weeks under eugenia’s discipline.

“the day you go to belgium i shall return to my post,” he muttered.

eugenia would like to have shaken him. had he been in the little “farmhouse with the blue front door,” she would simply have gotten up at this instant and left her patient until he had learned to behave himself. but at present the circumstances were different, and besides she might not have a chance to talk to him again. so somehow he must be made to behave sensibly.

“you will do no such thing. you owe more than that to me,” eugenia protested unexpectedly. a few moments before she would not have believed that any earthly thing could have forced her to mention, either to captain castaigne or to any one else, the sacrifices which she had made for him. but now she had spoken deliberately and meaning exactly what she said.

nevertheless the young french officer did not answer immediately.

[256]

“eugenié,” he said finally, and the querulous, boyish note in his voice had quite gone, “you must listen to me. i have been talking like a child, but i am scarcely surprised at myself, since you have always insisted upon treating me as scarcely more than a child. i have borne with it because i have been ill and you have known me only in that condition. but, eugenié, i will endure it no longer.”

the young man’s voice held a quietly determined quality. he was perfectly courteous and yet his listener understood at this instant why he was considered one of the most forceful as well as one of the most popular of the younger officers in the french service.

nevertheless eugenia scarcely knew how or what to reply.

“i am so sorry, captain castaigne,” she answered. “i have not intended to fail in respect to you. but perhaps i have unintentionally presumed on your long weakness and dependence upon me.”

and this from eugenia! moreover, her face had flushed and she could not lift her[257] lids because of the tears in her eyes. yet she was not really angry with captain castaigne.

the next time he spoke his voice was once more gentle and he even managed to smile.

“you know that is not what i mean in the least. it is absurd of you to talk of showing proper respect to me, eugenié, as if i were your commanding officer. surely you understand that when a man cares for a woman as i do for you, there is but one thing possible between them. they must love each other fully and equally. i know you have nothing but a kindly feeling for me, but you shall not go away, when i may never see you again, without hearing the truth.”

still eugenia did not understand! nevertheless her face grew pale instead of flushed and her dark eyes gazed into her companion’s almost curiously.

yet the next moment, when captain castaigne touched her hand with infinite gentleness and respect, she drew it coldly away from him.

[258]

“i quite understand your gratitude, captain castaigne. but please appreciate the fact that it is unnecessary for you to go this far to express your obligation. i have only done for you what i would have done for any one in the world under the same circumstances.”

“i am entirely aware of that fact,” the young officer answered curtly.

then he and eugenia both maintained a dignified silence for the space of sixty seconds.

by this time the girl rose up.

“this is our good-by, perhaps. we may not see each other alone again. you must forgive me if i seem to be cold and unfeeling. of course, i should have cared for any one just as i cared for you. but i should not have been so glad to have been given the opportunity had my patient been any other person.” eugenia was trying her best to cast aside the cold and formal manner which had made her misunderstood all the days of her life. in her earnestness somehow she looked younger and humbler than usual. indeed, she was a very fair[259] and lovely woman standing there with her hands clasped before her. her eyes were shining with the sincerity of her emotion, while her attitude expressed a strange mixture of dignity and appeal.

“when we first met each other, captain castaigne, i confess i had a wrong idea of you. now i feel that i could have rendered france no greater service than to have saved your life. since i came abroad to nurse in order to help the little i am able, perhaps my coming has not been in vain. good-by.”

she was moving away, when the young officer reached out and took hold of her skirt.

“please don’t go for another moment,” he pleaded. “of course i understand that so noble a woman cannot love a man who has so little to offer as i have. why, in spite of all our lands, my mother and i are little more than paupers! and if i am spared when this war is over, perhaps i shall always be lame.”

the girl was standing looking down at the young fellow whose head was slightly[260] bowed, when instinctively she laid her firm, beautiful hand on his head with unconscious sympathy and tenderness. she had done the same thing so many times before during his illness. but eugenia’s hand now trembled a little, for she was slowly beginning to appreciate what captain castaigne had been trying to say to her.

curious, for eugenia to think first that she had never received a proposal before in her life, or she might have known better how to receive it. then her next sensation was an odd combination of gratitude and protest.

“i have been very stupid, captain castaigne, and you have been very good,” she answered. “but even if you believe what you have just said to me, and of course i know that you would not deceive me, you yourself must realize that nothing but friendship can ever exist between us. i am several years older than you, and i have no delusions about my own attractions. you are young and brilliant, but then i need not enumerate your gifts,” the girl added, smiling with a kind of gentle[261] humorousness she had never possessed before. “all this is merely gratitude you feel toward me, and a little affection because of my care of you. six months from now i shall be only a memory.”

“then you do not love me?” captain castaigne inquired bluntly. he it was who had now cast aside all his soft graciousness of manner, the delicate evasions of the direct truth, that sometimes constitute what is known as a charming manner. it was eugenia who, in spite of her puritan faith and training, was refusing to meet the issue fairly.

she hesitated because the truth overwhelmed her. the idea of caring for captain castaigne except as a friend had never for a single instant before occurred to her. of course, he had filled her life and thoughts for many weeks, but that was because of the peculiar situation into which they had been forced by circumstances. moreover, the thought of their never meeting again had given her a sense of loss and emptiness. yet eugenia stuck by her colors gallantly.

[262]

“that is not the important question, captain castaigne, and i cannot answer you. for always there would remain an impossible gulf between us. there is your position, your mother’s disappointment, our different ways of looking at life. why, you would soon become dreadfully ashamed of a new england old maid endeavoring to turn herself into a charming young wife.”

eugenia glanced into the little pool of water near by, shadowed by the trees. “nona has been calling this tiny lake ‘the pool of melisande,’ captain castaigne, but to me it is a mirror of truth, in which i can see myself only too plainly. it is growing late and you must not be out in the cold air. please let me call fran?ois and have him take you home.”

receiving no reply but a quiet look of determination, eugenia summoned the old man. then she assisted fran?ois to get the young officer back into his wheeled chair and afterwards stood watching them until they had both disappeared.

then, as it was almost twilight, eugenia turned and began to walk slowly toward[263] the little french farmhouse. she realized that she had just deliberately turned her back upon the fairest opportunity life might ever offer her. nevertheless, both her conscience and her brain approved her action.

“there is only one thing which i might have confided and did not,” eugenia murmured reflectively. “perhaps i should have explained that it would not matter in the least that henri and his mother have no money. i have more than enough for us all.” then as she drew nearer home: “never mind, captain castaigne will soon have forgotten what he has just said to me. but perhaps it is just as well that we are soon to go into belgium to help with the red cross work there, for i may not find it quite so easy to forget.”

when she reached home it was dark. but as the other girls had not yet returned from the chateau, eugenia went upstairs to her own room without making a light. there she flung herself down upon the bed, remembering gratefully that because she had a headache, she might reasonably be[264] allowed to spend the evening alone. then barbara would have no chance to ask questions.

the third volume in the american girls’ red cross series is to be known as “the red cross girls in belgium.” in this story the four girls will be at work in an even more tragically interesting land. here their adventures and their romances will continue and one of the girls at least shall find what is at once the end and the beginning of a girl’s career.

the book will also deal with conditions in belgium at the present time and show how the people of the united states have brought aid and relief to a suffering nation.

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