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CHAPTER III THE LETTERS

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henry was not such a fool as he looked. you, gentle reader, have certainly by now remarked that you cannot believe that all those years in the army would have failed to make him a trifle smarter and neater and better disciplined than he appears to be. to which i would reply, having learnt the fact through very bitter personal experience, that it is one of the most astonishing facts in life that you do not change with anything like the ease that you ought to.

that is of course only half the truth, but half the truth it is, and if smuts choose your nose to settle on when you're in your cradle, the probability is that they'll still be settling there when you're in your second childhood.

henry was changing underneath, as will very shortly, i hope, be made plain, but the hard ugly truth that i am now compelled to declare is that by the early days of june he had got his baronet's letters into such a devil of a mess that he did not know where he was nor how he was ever going to get straight again. nevertheless, i must repeat once more—he was not such a fool as he looked.

during all these weeks his lord and master had not glanced at them once.

he had indeed paid very little attention to henry, giving him no typewriting and only occasionally dictating to him very slowly a letter or two. he had been away in the country once for a week and had not taken henry with him.

he had attempted no further personal advances, had been always kindly but nevertheless aloof. henry had, on his side, made very few fresh discoveries.

he had met once or twice a brother, tom duncombe, a large, fat, red-faced man with a loud laugh, carroty hair, a smell[pg 114] of whisky and a handsome appetite. friends had come to luncheon and mr. light-johnson had been as constant and pessimistic as ever, but henry had not trusted himself to a second outburst. of his own private love-affair there is more to be said, but of that presently.

the salient fact in the situation was that until now duncombe had not mentioned the letters, had not looked at them, had not apparently considered them. every morning henry, with beating heart, expected those dread words: "well now, let's see what you've done"—and every day passed without those words being said.

every night in his bed in panton street he told himself that to-morrow he would force some order into the horrible things, and every day he was once again defeated by them. he was now quite certain that they led a life of their own, that they deliberately skipped, when he was not looking, out of one pile into another, that they changed the dates on their pages and counterfeited handwritings, and were altogether taunting him and teasing him to the full strength of their yellow crooked little souls. and yet behind the physical exterior of these letters he knew that he was gaining a feeling for and a knowledge of the period with which they dealt that was invaluable. he had burrowed in the library and discovered a host of interesting details—books like hogg's reminiscences and gibson's recollections, and washington irving's abbotsford and lang's lockhart, and the ballantyne protests and the life of archibald constable—them and many, many others—he had devoured with the greed of a shipwrecked mariner on a desert island. he could tell you everything now about the edinburgh of that day—the streets, the fashions, the clothes, the politics. it seemed that he must, in an earlier incarnation, have lived there with them all, possibly, he liked to fancy, as a second-hand bookseller hidden somewhere in the intricacies of the old town. he seemed to feel yet beating through his arteries the thrill and happy pride when sir walter himself with his cheery laugh, his joke and his kindly grip of the hand stood among the dusky overhanging shelves and gossiped and yarned and climbed the rickety ladder searching for some ballad or romance,[pg 115] while henry, his eyes aflame with hero-worship, held that same ladder and gazed upwards to that broad-shouldered form.

yes—but the letters were in the devil of a mess!

and then suddenly the blow fell. one beautiful june morning, when the sun, refusing to be beaten by the thick glare of the windows, was transforming the old books and sending mists of gold and purple from ceiling to floor, henry, his head bent over files of the recalcitrant letters, heard the very words that for weeks he had been expecting.

"now then—it's about time i had a look at those letters of yours."

it is no exaggeration at all to say that young henry's heart stood absolutely still, his feet were suddenly like dead fish in his boots and his hands weak as water. this, then, was the end! oh, how he wished that it had occurred weeks ago! he had by now become devotedly attached to the library, loved the books like friends, was happier when hidden in the depths of the little gallery nosing after bage and maturin and clara reeve than he had been in all his life before. moreover, he realized in this agonizing moment how deeply attached he had grown during these weeks to his angular master. few though the words between them had been, there seemed to him to have developed mysteriously and subterraneously as it were an unusual sympathy and warmth of feeling. that may have been simply his affectionate nature and innocence of soul. nevertheless, there it was. he made a last frantic effort towards a last discipline, juggling the letters together and trying to put the more plainly dated next to one another on the top of the little untidy heaps.

he realized that there was nothing to be done. he sat there waiting for sentence to be pronounced.

duncombe came over to the table and rested one hand on henry's shoulder.

"now, let's see," he said. "you've had more than a month—i expect to find great progress. how many boxes have you done?"

"i'm still at the first," said henry, his voice low and gentle.

"still at the first? ah, well, i expect there are more than[pg 116] one knew. what's your system? first in months and then in years, i suppose?"

"the trouble is," said henry, the words choking in his throat, "that so many of them aren't dated at all."

"yes—that would be so. well, here we have april, 1816. what i should do, i think, is to make them into six-monthly packets—otherwise the—hullo, here's 1818!"

"they move about so," said henry feebly.

"move about? nobody can move them if you don't—march 7, 1818; march 12, 1818; april 3—why, here we are back in '16 again!"

there followed then the most dreadful pause. it seemed to the agonized henry to last positively for centuries. he grew an old, old man with a long, white, sweeping beard, he looked back over a vast, misspent lifetime, his hearing was gone, his vision was dulled, he was tired, deadly tired, and longed only for the gentle peace of the kindly grave. not a word was said. duncombe's long white fingers moved with a deadly and practised skill from packet to packet, taking up one, looking at it, laying it down again, taking up another, holding it for an eternity in his hand then carefully replacing it. the clock wheezed and gurgled and chattered, the sunlight danced on the bookshelves, henry was in his grave, dead, buried, a vague pathetic memory to those who once had loved him.

"why!" a voice came from vast distances; "these letters aren't arranged at all!" the worst was over, the doom had fallen; nothing more terrible could occur.

henry said nothing.

"they simply aren't arranged at all!" came the voice more sharply.

still henry said nothing.

duncombe moved back into the room. henry felt his eyes burrowing into a hole, red-hot, in the middle of his back. he did not move.

"would you mind telling me what you have been doing all these weeks?"

henry turned round. the terrible thing was that tears were not far away. he was twenty-six years of age, he had fought in the great war and been wounded, he had written[pg 117] ten chapters of a romantic novel, he was living a life of independent ease as a bachelor gentleman in panton street—nevertheless tears were not far away.

"i warned you," he said. "i told you at the very beginning that i was a perfect fool. you can't say i didn't warn you. i've meant to do my very best. i've never before wanted to do my best so badly—i mean so well—i mean——" he broke off. "i've tried," he ended.

"but would you mind telling me what you've tried?" asked duncombe. "the state the letters were in when they were in this box was beautiful order compared with the state they're in now! why, you've had six weeks at them! what have you been doing?"

"i think they move in the night," said henry, tears bubbling in his voice do what he could to prevent them. "i know that must sound silly to you, or to any sensible person, but i swear to you that i've had dozens of them in the right order when i've gone away one day and found them in every kind of mess when i've got back next morning."

duncombe said nothing.

"then," henry went on, gathering a stronger control of himself, "they really are confusing. any one would find them so. the writing's often so faded and the signatures sometimes so illegible. and at first—when i started—i knew so little about the period. i didn't know who any of the people were. i've been reading a lot lately and although it looks so hopeless, i—" then he broke off. "but it's no good," he muttered, turning his back. "i haven't got a well-ordered mind. i never could do mathematics at school. i ought to have told you, the second day i tried to tell you, but i've liked it so, i've enjoyed it. i——"

"i daresay you have enjoyed it," said duncombe. "i can well believe it. you must have had the happiest six weeks of your life. isn't it aggravating? here are six weeks entirely wasted."

"please take back your money and let me go," said henry. "i can't pay you everything at once because, to tell you the truth, i've spent it, but if you'll wait a little——"

"money!" cried duncombe wrathfully. "who's talking of[pg 118] money? it's the wasted time i mind. we're not an inch further on."

"we are," cried henry excitedly. "i've been taking notes—lots of them. i've got them in a book here. and whoever goes on with this next can have them. he'll learn a lot from them, he will really."

"let's see your notes," said duncombe.

henry produced a red-bound exercise book. it was nearly filled with his childish and sprawling hand. there were also many blots, and even some farcical drawings in the margin.

duncombe took the book and went back with it to his desk. there followed a lengthy pause, while henry stood in front of his table staring at the window.

at last duncombe said, "you certainly seem to have scribbled a lot here. yes . . . i take back what i said about your being idle. i'm glad you're not that. and you seem interested; you must be interested to have done all this."

"i am interested," said henry.

"well, then, i don't understand it. if you are interested why couldn't you get something more out of the letters? a child of eight could have done them better than you have."

"it's the kind of brain i have," said henry. "it's always been the same. i never could do examinations. i have an untidy brain. i could always remember things about books but never anything else. it was just the same in the war. i always gave the wrong orders to the men. i never remembered what i ought to say. but when they put me into intelligence and i could use my imagination a little, i wasn't so bad. i can see scott and hogg and the others moving about, and i can see edinburgh and the way the shops go and everything, but i can't do the mechanical part. i knew i couldn't at the very beginning."

"you'd better go on working for a bit while i think about it," said duncombe.

henry went back to the letters, a sick heavy weight of disappointment in his heart. he could have no doubt concerning the final judgment. how could it be otherwise? well, at the most he had had a beautiful six weeks. he had learnt some very interesting things that he would never forget and that[pg 119] he could not have learnt in any other way. but how disappointing to lose his first job so quickly! how sad millie would be and how sarcastic his father! and then the girl! how could he now entertain any hopes of doing anything for her when he had no job, no money, no prospects! . . .

a huge fat tear welled into his eye, he tried to gulp it back; he was too late. it plopped down on one of the letters. another followed it. he sniffed and sniffed again. he took out his handkerchief and blew his nose. he fought for self-control and, after a hard sharp battle, gained the victory. the other tears were defeated and reluctantly went back to the place whence they had come.

the clock struck one; in five minutes' time the gong would sound for luncheon. he heard duncombe get up, cross the floor; once again he felt his hand on his shoulder.

"you certainly have shown imagination here," he said. "there are some remarkable things in this book. not all of it authentic, i fancy." the hand pressed into his shoulder with a kindly emphasis. "it's a pity that order isn't your strong point. never mind. we must make the best of it. we'll get one of those dried-up young clerks at so much an hour to do this part of it. you shall do the rest. i think you'll make rather a remarkable book of it."

"you're going to keep me?" henry gulped.

"i'm going to keep you." duncombe moved back to his desk. "now it's luncheon-time. i suggest that you wash your hands—and your face."

henry stood for a moment irresolute.

"i don't know what to say—i—to thank——"

"well, don't," said duncombe. "i hate being thanked. besides, there's no call for it."

the gong sounded.

this was an adventurous day for henry; he discovered in the first place that duncombe would not himself be in to luncheon, and he descended the cold stone stairs with the anticipatory shiver that he always felt when his master deserted him. lady bell-hall neither liked nor trusted him, and showed her disapproval by showering little glances upon him,[pg 120] with looks of the kind that anxious hostesses bestow upon nervous parlour-maids when the potatoes are going the wrong way round or the sherry has been forgotten. henry knew what these glances said. they said: "oh, young man, i cannot conceive why my brother has chosen you for his secretary. you are entirely unsuited for a secretary. you are rash, ignorant, bad-mannered and impetuous. if there is one thing in life that i detest it is having some one near me whose words and actions are for ever uncertain and not to be calculated beforehand. i am never certain of you from one minute to another. i do wish you would go away and take a post elsewhere."

because henry knew that lady bell-hall was thinking this of him he was always in her presence twice as awkward as he need have been, spilt his soup, crumbled his bread and made strange sudden noises that were by himself entirely unexpected. to-day, however, he was spared his worst trouble, mr. light-johnson. the only guests were tom duncombe and a certain lady alicia penrose, who exercised over lady bell-hall exactly the fascinated influence that a boa-constrictor has for a rabbit. alicia penrose certainly resembled a boa-constrictor, being tall, swollen and writhing, bound, moreover, so tightly about with brilliant clothing fitting her like a sheath that it was always a miracle to henry that she could move at all. she must have been a lady of some fifty summers, but her skirts were very short, coming only just below her knees. she was a jolly and hearty woman, living entirely for bridge and food, and not pretending to do otherwise. henry could not understand why she should come so often to luncheon as she did. he supposed that she enjoyed startling lady bell-hall with peeps into her pleasure-loving life, not that in her chatter she ever paused to listen to her hostess's terrified little "really, alicia!" or "you can't mean it, alicia!" or "i never heard such a thing—never!"

after a while henry arrived nearer the truth when he supposed that she came in order to obtain a free meal, she being in a state of chronic poverty and living in a small series of attics over a mews.

she was, it seemed, related to every person of importance and alluded to them all in a series of little nicknames that[pg 121] fell like meteors about table. "podgy," "old cuddles," "dusty parker," "fifi bones," "larry," "bronx," "traddles"—these were her familiar friends. when she was alone with henry, duncombe and his sister she was comparatively quiet, paying eager attention to her food (which was not very good) and sometimes including henry in the conversation. but the presence of an outsider excited her terribly. she was, outwardly at any rate, as warmly excited about the domestic and political situation as was lady bell-hall, but it did not seem to henry that it went very deep. so long as her bridge was uninterfered with everything else might go. she talked in short staccato sentences like a female mr. tingle.

to-day she was stirred by tom duncombe, not that she did not know him well enough, he being very much more in her set than were either his brother or sister. henry had not liked tom duncombe from the first and to-day he positively loathed him. this was for a very simple human reason, namely, that he talked as though he, henry, did not exist, looking over his head, and once, when henry volunteered a comment on the weather, not answering him at all.

and then when the meal was nearly over henry most unfortunately fell yet again into lady bell-hall's bad graces.

"servants," lady alicia was saying. "servants. been in a registry office all the morning. for father. he wants a footman and doesn't want to pay much for him; you know all about father, tommy." (the earl of water-somerset was notoriously mean). "offering sixty—sixty for a footman. did you hear anything like it? couldn't hear of a soul. all too damned superior. saw one or two—never saw such men. all covered with tattoo marks and war-ribbons—extraordinary times we live in. extraordinary. puffy clerk told me yesterday—remarkable thing. down at the withers on sunday. sunday afternoon. short of a fourth. found the second footman played. had him in. perfect gentleman. son of a butcher but had been a colonel in the war. broke off to fetch in the tea—then sat down again afterwards. best of the joke won twenty quid off addy blake and next morning asked to have his wages raised. said if he was going to be asked to play bridge with[pg 122] the family must have higher wages. and addy gave them him."

tom duncombe guffawed.

"dam funny. dam funny," he said. lady bell-hall shook her head. "a friend of mine, a mr. light-johnson—i think you've met him here, alicia—told me the other day he's got a man now who plays on the piano beautifully and reads spanish. he says that we shall all be soon either killed in our beds or working for the bolsheviks. what the servants are coming——"

as the old butler brought in the coffee at this moment she stopped and began hurriedly to talk about conan doyle's séances which seemed to her very peculiar—the pity of it was that we couldn't really tell if it had happened just as he said. "of course he's been writing stories for years," she said. "he's the author of those detectives stories, alicia—and writing stories for a long time must make one very regardless of the truth."

then as the butler had retired they were able to continue. "i don't know what servants are coming to," she said. "they never want to go to church now as they used to."

it was then that henry made his plunge, as unfortunate in its impetuosity and tactlessness as had been his earlier one, it was perhaps the red supercilious countenance of tom duncombe that drove him forward.

"i'm glad servants are going to have a better time now," he said, leaning forward and staring at alicia penrose as though fascinated by her bright colours. "i can't think how they endured it in the old days before the war, in those awful attics people used to put them into, the bad food they got and having no time off and——"

"why, you're a regular young bolshevik!" alicia penrose cried, laughing. "margaret, charles got a bolshevik for a secretary. who'd have thought it?"

"i'm not a bolshevik," said henry very red. "i want everything to be fair for everybody all the way round. the bolsheviks aren't fair any more than the—than the—other people used to be before the war, but it seems to me——"

"seen the bradleys lately, alicia?" said tom duncombe, speaking exactly as though henry existed less than his sister's[pg 123] dog, pretty one, a nondescript mongrel asleep in a basket near the window.

"no," said alicia. "but that reminds me. benjy porker owes me five quid off a game a fortnight ago at addy blake's. glad you've reminded me, thomas. that young man wants watching. plays badly too—why in that very game he had four hearts——"

henry's cup was full. why, again, had he spoken? when would he learn the right words on the right occasion? why had he painted himself even blacker than before in lady bell-hall's sight?

he went up to the library hating tom duncombe, but hating himself even more.

he sat down at his table determining to put in an hour at such slave-driving over the letters as they had never known in all their little lives. at four o'clock punctually he intended to present himself in mrs. tenssen's sitting-room.

when he had been stirring the letters about for some ten minutes or so the quiet and peace of the library once again settled beautifully around him. it seemed to enfold him as though it loved him and wished him to know it. once again the strange hallucination stole into his soul that the past was the present and the present the past, that there was no time nor place and that only thinking made it so, and that the only reality, the only faith, the only purpose in this life or in any other was love—love of beauty, of character, of truth, love above all of one human being for another. he was touched to an almost emotional softness by duncombe's action that morning. touched, too, to the very soul by his own love affair, and touched finally to-day by the sense that he had that old books in the library, and the times and the places and the people that they stood for, were stretching out hands to him, trying to make him hear their voices.

"only love us enough and we shall live. everything lives by love. touch us with some of your own enchantment. you are calling us back to life by caring for us. . . ." he stopped, his head up, his pen arrested, listening—as though he did in very truth hear voices coming to him from different parts of the room.

[pg 124]

what he did hear, however, was the opening of the library door, and what he beheld was tom duncombe's bulky figure standing for a moment hesitating in the doorway. he came forward but did not see henry immediately. he stood again, listening, one finger to his lip like a schoolboy about to steal jam. henry bent his head over his letters, but with one eye watched. all thoughts of love and tenderness were gone with that entrance. he hated tom duncombe and hated him for reasons more conclusive than personal, wounded vanity. duncombe took some further steps and then suddenly saw henry. he stopped dead, staring, then as henry did not turn, but stayed with head bent forward, he moved on again still cautiously and with the clumsy hesitating, step that was especially his.

he arrived at his brother's table and stopped there. henry, looking sideways, could see half duncombe's heavy body, the red cheek, the thick arm and large, ill-shaped fingers. those same fingers, he perceived, were taking up letters and papers from the table and putting them down again.

then, like a sudden blow on the heart, certain words of sir charles's spoken a week or two before came back to henry. "by the way, trenchard," he had said, "if i'm out and you're ever alone in the library here i want you to be especially careful to allow no one to touch the papers on my table, nor to permit any one to open a drawer—any one, mind you, not even my brother, unless i've told you first that he may. i leave you in charge—you or old moffatt (the ancient butler), and if you are going, and i'm not yet back, lock the library and give the keys to moffatt."

he had promised that at the time, feeling rather proud that he should have been charged with so confidential an office. now the time had come for him to keep his word, and the most difficult crisis of his life was suddenly upon him. there had been difficult moments in the war—henry alone knew how difficult moments of physical challenge, moments of moral challenge too—but then in that desolate-hell-delivered country thousands of others had been challenged at the same time, and some especial courage seemed to have been given one with special occasion. here he was alone, and alone in an especially[pg 125] arduous way. he did not know how much authority he really had, he did not know whether sir charles had in truth meant all that he had said, he did not know whether tom duncombe had not after all some right to be there.

above all he was young, very young, for his age, doubtful of himself, fearing that he always struck a silly figure in any crisis that he had to face. on the other hand, he was helped by his real hatred of the red-flushed man at the table, unlike his brother-in-law philip in that, namely, that he did not want every one to like him and, indeed, rather preferred to be hated by the people whom he himself disliked.

tom duncombe was now pulling at one of the drawers of the table. henry stood up, feeling that the whole room was singing about his ears.

"i beg your pardon," he said, smiling feebly, and knowing that his voice was a ridiculous one. "but would you mind waiting until sir charles comes in? i know he won't be long—he said he'd be back by three."

duncombe moved away from the drawer and stared.

"here," he said. "do you know where my brother keeps the key of this drawer? if so, hand it over."

"yes, i do know," said henry. (it was sufficiently obvious, as the key was hanging on a string at the far corner of the table.) "but i'm afraid i can't give it you. sir charles told me that no one was to have it while he was away."

duncombe took in this piece of intelligence very slowly. he stared at henry as though he were some curious and noxious kind of animal that had just crawled in from under the window. a purple flush suffused his forehead and nose.

"good god!" he said. "the infernal cheek!"

they stood silently staring at one another for a moment, then duncombe said:

"none of your lip, young man. i don't know who the devil you think you are—anyway hand over the key."

"no," said henry paling, "i can't."

"you can't? what the devil do you mean?"

"simply i can't. i was told not to—i'm your brother's secretary and have to do what he says—not what you say!"

henry felt himself growing more happily defiant.

[pg 126]

"do you want to get the damnedest hiding you've ever had in your young life?"

"i don't care what you do."

"don't care what i do? well, you soon will. are you going to give me that key?" (all this time he was pulling at the drawers with angry jerks, pausing to stare at henry, then pulling again.)

"no."

"you're not? you know i can get my brother to kick you out?"

"i don't care. i'm going to do what he said."

"you bloody young fool, he never said you weren't to let me have it."

"i may have misunderstood him. if i did, he'll put it right when he comes back."

"yes, and a nice story i'll tell him of your damned impertinence. give me that key."

"sorry i can't."

"i'll break your bloody neck."

"that won't help you to find the key." henry was feeling quite cheerful now.

"christ! . . . you shall get it for that!"

he made two steps to come round the table to get at henry—and saw the key. at the same instant henry saw that he saw it. he ran forward to secure it, and in a second they were struggling together like two small boys in a manner unlovely, unscientific, even ludicrous. ludicrous—had there been an observer, but for the fighters themselves it was one of those uncomfortable struggles when there are no rules of the game and anything may happen at any moment. duncombe was large but fat and in the worst possible condition, with a large luncheon still unsettled and in a roving state. moreover he had never been a fighter. henry was not a fighter either and was handicapped at once because at the first onset his pince-nez were knocked on to the carpet. he fought then blindly in a blind world. he knew that duncombe was kicking, and struggling to strike at him with his fists. himself seemed strangely involved in duncombe's chest, at which he tore with his hands, while he bent his head to avoid the blows. he was[pg 127] breathing desperately, while there was such anger seething in his breast as he had never felt for anything human or inhuman in all his life. he felt duncombe's waistcoat tear, plunged at the shirt, and at once his fingers felt the bare flesh, the soft fat of duncombe's well-tended body. he was also conscious that he was muttering "you beast, you beast, you beast!" that his left leg was aching terribly and that duncombe had his hand now firmly fixed in his hair and was pulling with all his strength.

henry was going. . . . he was being pushed backwards. he caught a large fold of duncombe's fat between his fingers and pinched. then he was conscious that in another moment he would be over; he was falling, the ceiling, far away, beat down toward him, his left arm shot out and his fingers fastened themselves into duncombe's posterior, which was large and soft, then, with a cry he fell, duncombe on top of him.

henry, half-stunned, lay, his leg crushed under him, his eyes closed, and waited for the end. duncombe now could do what he liked to him, and what he liked would be something horrible. but duncombe also, it seemed, could not stir, but lay there all over henry, heaving up and down, the sweat from his cheek and forehead trickling into henry's eyes, his breath coming in great desperate pants.

then from a long way off came a voice:

"tom—trenchard. what the devil!" that voice seemed to electrify duncombe. henry felt the whole body quiver, stiffen for a moment, then slowly, very slowly raise itself.

henry stumbled up and saw sir charles, not regarding him at all, but fixing his eyes only upon his brother, who stood, his hair on end, his shirt torn and exposing a red, hairy chest, wrath in his eyes, his mouth trembling with anger and also with some other emotion.

"what have you been doing, tom?"

"this damned——" then to henry's immense surprise he broke off and left the room almost at a run.

sir charles went straight to his table, looked at the papers, glanced at the drawers, then finally at the key, which was still on the hook.

[pg 128]

his voice, when he spoke, was that of the saddest, loneliest, most miserable of men.

"you'd better go and clean up, henry," he said, pointing to the farther room.

he had never called him henry before.

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