to my nephew ephraim for his soul’s good i bequeath my cellar of wine which i adjure him to drink with care, thought, diligence, and appreciation, being convinced that a sound judge of wine is, or is on the way to becoming what my nephew is not, a judge of men and affairs.”
quixtus stared at the ironical words written in mathew quixtus’s sharp precise handwriting, and turned with a grey face to the lawyer who had pointed them out.
“is that the only reference to me in the will, mr. henslow?” he asked.
“unfortunately, yes, dr. quixtus. you can see for yourself.” he handed quixtus the document.
mathew quixtus had bequeathed large sums of money to charities, smaller sums to old servants, the wine to ephraim, and the residue of his estate to a quixtus unknown to ephraim, save by hearsay, who had settled thirty years before in new york. even tommy burgrave, with whom he had been on good terms, was not mentioned. but he had quarrelled years before with his niece, tommy’s mother, for making an impecunious marriage, and, to do him justice, had never promised the boy anything. the will was dated a few weeks back, and had been witnessed by the butler and the coachman.
“i should like you to understand, dr. quixtus,” said henslow, “that until we found that envelope i had no idea that your uncle had made a fresh will. i came here with the old one in my hand, which i drew up and which has been in my office-safe for fifteen years. under that, i need not tell you, you were, with the exception of a few trifling legacies, the sole legatee. i am deeply grieved.”
“let me see that date again,” said quixtus.
he pressed his hands to his eyes and thought. it was the day before his arrival on his last visit.
the telegram announcing mathew quixtus’s sudden death had brought a gleam of light into a soul which for a week had been black with misery. it awakened him to a sense of outer things. a sincere affection for the old man had been a lifelong habit. it was a shock to realise that he was no longer alive. besides having always unconsciously taken a child’s view of death, he felt genuinely sorry, for his uncle’s sake, that he should have died. impulses of pity, tenderness, regret, stirred in his deadened heart. he forthwith set out for devonshire, and when he arrived at croxton, stood over the pinched waxen face till the tears came into his eyes.
he had summoned tommy burgrave, the only other member of the family in england, but tommy had not been able to attend. he had caught cold while painting in the open air, and was in bed with a slight attack of congestion of the lungs. quixtus was alone in the great house. with the aid of henslow he made the funeral arrangements. the old man was laid to rest in the quiet churchyard of croxton. half the county came to pay their tribute to his memory, and shook quixtus by the hand. then he came back to the house, and in the presence of one or two of the old servants, the will was read.
it had been dated the day before his arrival on his last visit. the thing had been written and signed and witnessed and sealed, and was lying in that locked drawer in the library all the time that the old man was welcoming him, flattering him, showing him deference. all the suavity and deference had been mockery. the old man had made him a notorious geck and gull.
his pale blue eyes hardened, and he turned an expressionless face to the lawyer.
“i’m afraid it would not be possible,” said henslow, “to have the will set aside on the ground of, say—senility—on the part of the testator.”
“my uncle had every faculty at its keenest when he wrote it,” said quixtus, “including that of merciless cruelty.”
“it was a heartless jest,” the lawyer agreed.
“if you will do me a service, mr. henslow, you might be kind enough to instruct one of the servants to pack up my bag and forward it to my london address. i am going now to the railway station.”
the lawyer looked at his watch and put out a detaining hand.
“there’s not a decent train for two or three hours.”
“i would rather,” said quixtus, “ride a tortoise home than stay in this house another moment.”
he walked out of the room and out of the house, and after waiting at the station whence he despatched a telegram to his housekeeper, who was not expecting him back for two or three days, took the first train—a slow one—to london.
in his corner of the railway carriage the much-afflicted man sat motionless, brooding. everything had happened that could shake to its foundations a man’s faith in humanity, and swallow it up in abysmal darkness. suddenly, as though by a prearranged design—as we know was the case with his forerunner in the land of uz—cataclysm after cataclysm had revealed to him the essential baseness, treachery, cruelty of mankind. for in his eyes these were proved to be essential qualities. had they not been revealed to him, not by fitful gleams, but in one steady lurid glare, in the nature of those who had been nearest to him in the world—angela, will hammersley, marrable, huckaby, vandermeer, billiter, mathew quixtus? if the same hell-streak ran through the souls of these, surely it must run through the souls of all the sons and daughters of adam. now here came the great puzzle. why should he, ephraim quixtus, (as far as he could tell) vary from the unkindly race of man? why hitherto had baseness, treachery, and cruelty been as foreign to his nature as an overpowering inclination towards arson or homicide? why had he been unequipped with these qualities which appeared to serve mortals as weapons wherewith to fight the common battle of life? the why, he could not tell. that he had them not, was obvious. that he had gone to the wall through lack of them was obvious, too. instead of the dagger of baseness, the sword of cruelty, the shield of treachery, all finely tempered implements of war, he had been fighting with the wooden lath of virtue and the brawn-buckler of trust. armed as he should have been, he would have out-man?uvred marrable at his own game, kept his wife in chaste and wholesome terror of his jealousy, sent huckaby and company long since to the limbo where they belonged, deluded his uncle into the belief that he was a devil of a fellow, and now be standing with flapping wings and crowing voice triumphant on this dunghill of a world. but he had been hopelessly outmatched. whoever had taken upon himself the responsibility of equipping him for the battle of life had been guilty of incredible negligence. but on whom could he call to remedy this defect? men called on the unknown god to make them good; but it would be idiotic as well as blasphemous to call on him to make one bad. how, then, were the essential qualities of baseness, treachery, and cruelty to be captured and brought into his armoury? perhaps the devil might help. but we are so matter-of-fact and scientific in these days that even the simple soul of quixtus could not quite believe in his existence. if he had lived in the middle ages (so in scholarly gloom ran his fancy) he could have drawn circles and pentagrams and things on the floor, and uttered the incantations, and all the hierarchy of hell would have been at his command, satanas, lucifer, mephistopheles, asmodeus, samael, asael, beelzebub, azazel, macathiel. . . . quixtus rather leaned towards macathiel—the name suggested a merciless, bowelless, high-cheek-boned devil in a kilt——
impatiently he shook his thoughts free from the fantastic channel into which they had wandered and brought them back into the ever-thickening slough of his soul. the train lumbered on, stopping at pretty wayside stations where fresh-faced folk with awkward gait and soft deep voices clattered cheerily past quixtus’s windows on their way to or from the third-class carriages, or at the noisier, bustling stations of large towns. now and then a well-dressed traveller invaded his solitude for a short distance. but quixtus sat in his remote corner seeing, hearing nothing, brooding on the baseness, treachery, and cruelty of mankind. he had come to the end of love, the end of trust, the end of friendship. when the shapes of those who were still loyal to him flitted across his darkened fancy he cursed them in his heart. they were as corrupt as the rest. that they had not been found out in their villainy only proved a thicker mask of hypocrisy. he had finished with them all. if he had been a more choleric man gifted with the power of picturesque vehemence of language he might have outrivalled timon of athens in the denunciations of his fellows. it must be a relief to any one in such a frame of mind to stand up and, with violent gestures, express his views in terms of sciatica, itches, blains, leprosy, venomed worms and ulcerous sores, and to call upon the blessed breeding sun to draw from the earth rotten humidity, and below his sister’s orb to infect the air. he knows exactly what he feels, gives it full artistic expression, and finds himself all the better for it. but quixtus, inarticulate, had no such comfort. indeed, he could hardly have expressed the welter of horror, hate, and misery that was his moral being, in any form of speech whatever. as the train rumbled on, the phrase “evil be thou my good” wove itself into the rhythm of the machinery. he let it sing dully and stupidly in his ears, and his mind worked subconsciously back to macathiel.
as yet he had imagined no future attitude towards life. his soul was in a state of negation. the insistent invocation of evil was but a catchword, irritating his brain and having no real significance. at the most he envisaged the future as a period of inactive misanthropy and suspicion. he had as yet no stirrings to action. on the other hand, he did not, like job, after the first series of afflictions, rend his clothes, shave his head, and bear his reverses with pious resignation.
the train arrived an hour late, as slow trains are apt to do, and it was nearly half-past eleven when he reached his house in russell square. he opened the door with his latchkey. the hall was dark, contrary to custom. he switched on the light, and, turning, saw that the letter-box had not been cleared. mechanically he took out the letters, and beneath the hall lamp glanced at the outside of the envelopes. among them was the telegram he had sent from devonshire.
even a man wallowing in the deepest abysses of spiritual misery needs food; and when he finds that a telegram ordering supper (for his return was unexpected) has not been opened, he may be pardoned purely material disappointment and irritation. mrs. pennycook, the housekeeper, must have profited by his absence to take a holiday. but what business had she to take a holiday and leave the house uncared for at that time of night? for, if she had returned, she would have lit the hall-light, and cleared the letter-box. he resigned himself peevishly to the prospect of a biscuit and a whisky-and-soda in the little back room where he ate his meals.
he strode down the passage to the head of the kitchen stairs and opened the study door. a glare of light met his eyes, and a moment afterwards something else. this was mrs. pennycook in an armchair, sleeping a bedraggled sleep with two empty quart bottles of champagne and an empty bottle of whisky by her side. he shook her hard by the shoulders; but beyond stertorous and jerky breaths the blissful lady showed no signs of animation.
it was then that a constricting thread snapped in quixtus’s brain. it was then, as if by a trick of magic, that all the vaguely billowing horrors, disillusions, disgusts, resentments and hatreds co-ordinated themselves into a scheme of fierce vividness.
just as the boils made job, who had borne the annihilation of his family with equanimity, open his mouth and curse his day, so did a drunken servant, who neglected to give him his supper, awaken ephraim quixtus to the glorious thrill of a remorseless, relentless malignity.
he threw up his hands and laughed aloud, peals of unearthly laughter that woke the echoes of the empty house, that woke the canary in its cage by the window, causing it to utter a few protesting “cheeps,” that arrested the policeman on his beat outside, that did everything human laughter in the way of noise can do, even stimulating the blissful lady to open half a glazed eye for the fraction of a second. after his paroxysm had subsided, he looked at the woman for a moment, and then with an air of peculiar malevolence took a sheet of note-paper from a small writing-table beneath the canary’s cage and wrote on it:
“let me never see your face again.—e. q.”
this, by the aid of a hairpin that had fallen into her lap, he pinned to her apron. then, with another laugh, he left her beneath the glare of the light, and went out into the street. he was thrilled, like a drunken man, with a new sense of life. years had fallen from his shoulders. he had solved the riddle of the world. baseness, treachery, cruelty, he felt them pulsating in his heart with a maddening joy of existence. evil was his good. he was no longer even a base, treacherous, cruel man. he was a devil incarnate. the long exultant years in front of him would be spent in deeds of shame and crime and unprecedented wickedness. if there was a throne to be waded to through slaughter, through slaughter would he wade to it. he would shut the gates of mercy on mankind. he held out both hands in front of him with stiffened outspread fingers. if only there was a human throat between them, how they would close around it, how he would gloat over the dying agony! caligula was the man for him. he regretted his untimely death. what a colleague could have been made of the fiend who wished that the whole human race had one neck so that it could be severed at one blow!
he had reached this stage in his exultant reflections when he found himself outside a restaurant which he had never entered, at the oxford street end of the tottenham court road. he remembered that he was hungry; that a new-born spirit of wickedness must be fed. he went in, unconscious of the company or the surroundings, and ordered supper. the waiter said that it was nearly closing time. quixtus called for a plate of cold beef and a whisky-and-soda. he devoured the meat ravenously, forgetful of the bread by his side, and drank the drink at a gulp. having lit a cigar, he threw half a sovereign on the table and walked out. he walked along the streets heedless of direction, down shaftesbury avenue, across piccadilly circus blazing with light, through leicester square, along the still hurrying strand to fleet street noiseless and empty, his brain on fire, weaving exquisite fabrics of devilry. suddenly he halted on a glorious thought. why should he not begin there and then? the whole of london, with its crime and sin and rottenness, lay before him. he retraced his steps back to the babylon of the west. what could he do? where could he find adequate wickedness? when he reached charing cross again it was dark and deserted. a square mile of london has every night about an hour of tearing, surging, hectic life. then all of a sudden the thousands of folk are swept away to the four comers of the mighty city, and all is still. a woman, as quixtus passed, quickened her pace and murmured words. here was a partner in wickedness to his hand. but the flesh of the delicately fibred man revolted simultaneously with the thought. no. that did not come within his scheme of wickedness. he slipped a coin into the woman’s palm, because she looked so forlorn, and went his way. she was useless for his purpose. what he sought was some occasion for pitilessness, for doing evil to his fellow creatures. a fine rain began to fall; but he heeded it not, burning with the sense of adventure. a reminiscence of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde crossed his mind. hyde, like caligula, was also the man for him. didn’t he once throw a child down in a lonely street and stamp on it?
he walked and walked through the now silent places, and the more he walked the less opening for wickedness did he see. the potentialities of babylon appeared to him overrated. after a wide and aimless détour he found himself again at charing cross. he struck down whitehall. but in whitehall and parliament street, the stately palaces on either side, vast museums of an empire’s decorum, forbade the suggestion of wickedness. the belated omnibuses and cabs that passed along were invested with a momentary hush of respectability. he turned up the thames embankment and saw the mass of the great buildings with here and there patches of lighted windows showing above the tree-tops of the gardens, the benches below filled with huddled sodden shapes of human misery, the broad silent thoroughfares, the parapet, the dimly flowing river below—a black mirror marked by streaks of light, reflections from lamps on parapet and bridges, the low-lying wharves on the opposite side swallowed up in blackness—and no attractive wickedness was apparent; nor was there any on the great bridge, disturbed only by the slow waggons mountains high bringing food for the insatiable multitude of london, and lumbering on in endless trail with an impressive fatefulness; nor even at the coffee-stall at the corner of the waterloo bridge road, its damp little swarm of frequenters clustering to it like bees, their faces illuminated by the segment of light cast by the reflector at the back of the stall, all harmlessly drinking cocoa or wistfully watching others drink it. for a moment he thought of joining the swarm, as some of the faces looked alluringly vile; but the inbred instinct of fastidiousness made him pass it by. he plunged into the unsavoury streets beyond. they were still and ghostly. all things diabolical could no doubt be found behind those silent windows; but at two o’clock in the morning sin is generally asleep, and sleeping sin and sleeping virtue are as alike as two pins. meanwhile the fine rain fell unceasingly, and the earnest seeker after wickedness began to feel wet and chilly.
this is a degenerate age. a couple of centuries ago quixtus could have manned a ship with cut-throats, hoisted the skull and cross-bones, and become the terror of the seas. or, at a more recent date, if he had been a corsican he could have taken his gun and gone into the maquis and declared war on the island. if he had lived in the fourteenth century he could have become a condottiere after the fashion of the gentle duke guarnieri, who, wearing on his breast a silver badge with the inscription “the enemy of god, of pity, and of mercy,” gained for himself enviable unpopularity in northern italy. as a malay, he could have taken a queerly curving, businesslike knife and run amuck, to his great personal satisfaction. in prehistoric times, he could have sat for a couple of delicious months in a cave, polishing and sharpening a beautiful axe-head, and, having fitted it to its haft, have gone forth and (probably skulking behind trees so as to get his victims in the rear) have had as gorgeous a time as was given to prehistoric man to imagine. but nowadays, who can do these delightful, vindictive, and misanthropical things with any feeling of security? if quixtus, obeying a logically developed impulse; had slaughtered a young man in evening dress in piccadilly, he most indubitably would have been hung, to say nothing of being subjected to all the sordid procedure of a trial for murder.
nor is this all. owing to some flaw in our system of education, quixtus had not been trained to deeds of violence; no one had even set before him the theoretical philosophy of the subject. you may argue, i am aware, that we use other weapons now than the cutlass of the pirate or the stone-axe of the quaternary age; we have the subtler vengeance of voice and pen, which can give a more exquisite finish to the devastation of human lives. but i would remind you that quixtus, through the neglect of his legal studies and practice, was ignorant of the ordinary laws of chicane, and of the elementary principles of financial dishonesty that guided the nefariousness of folk like “gehenna, unlimited.”
it must be admitted, therefore, that quixtus entered on his career of depravity greatly handicapped.
the grey light of a hopeless may dawn was just beginning to outline the towers and spires of westminster against the sky when quixtus found himself by the westminster hospital. he was damp and chill, somewhat depressed. the thrill of adventure had passed away, leaving disappointment and a little disillusion in its place. he was also physically fatigued, and his shoulders and feet ached. one ghostly hansom-cab stood on the rank, the horse drooping its dejected head into a lean nosebag, the driver asleep inside. quixtus resolved to arouse the man from his slumbers, and, abandoning the pursuit of evil for the night, drive home to russell square. but as he was crossing the road towards the vehicle, a miserable object, starting up from the earth, ran by his side and addressed him in a voice so hoarse that it scarcely rose above a whisper.
“for gord’s sake, guv’nor, spare a poor man a copper or two. i’ve not tasted food for twenty-four hours.”
quixtus stopped, his instinctive fingers diving into his pence-pocket. suddenly an idea struck him.
“you must have led a very evil life,” said he, “to have come to this stage of destitution.”
“whatcher gettin’ at?” growled the applicant, one eye fixed suspiciously on quixtus’s face, the other on the fumbling hand.
“i’m not going to preach to you—far from it,” said quixtus; “but i should like to know. you must have seen a great deal of wickedness in your time.”
“if you arsk me,” opined the man, “there’s nothing but wickedness in this blankety blank world.”
he did not say “blankety blank,” but used other and more lurid epithets which, though they were not exactly the ones that quixtus himself would have chosen, at least showed him that his companion and himself were agreed on their fundamental conception of the universe.
“if you will tell me where i can find some,” he said, “i will give you half a crown.”
a glimmer of astonished interest lit up the man’s dull eyes. “whatcher want to know for?”
“that’s my business,” said quixtus.
the cabman, suddenly awakened, saw the possibility of a fare. he clambered out of the vehicle.
“cab, sir?” he called across the road.
“yes,” said quixtus.
“?‘arf a crown?” said the battered man.
“certainly,” said quixtus.
“then i’ll tell yer, guv’nor. i’ve been a bookie’s tout, see? not a slap-up bookie in the ring—but an outside one—one what did a bit of welshing when he could, see?—and what i say is, that i seed more wickedness there than anywhere else. if you want to see blankety blank wickedness you go on the turf.” he cleared his throat, but his whisper had grown almost inaudible. “i’ve gone and lost my voice,” he said.
quixtus looked at the drenched, starved, voiceless, unshorn horror of a man standing outcast and dying of want and wickedness in the grey dawn, under the shadow of the central symbols of the pomp and majesty of england.
“you look very ill,” said he.
“consumpshon,” breathed the man.
quixtus shivered. the cabman, who had hastily dispossessed the dejected horse of the nosebag, had climbed into his dicky and was swinging the cab round.
“i thank you very much for your information,” said quixtus. “here’s half a sovereign.”
voicelessness and wonder provoked an inarticulate wheeze like the spitting of a cat. the man was still gaping at the unaccustomed coin in his hand when the cab drove off. but quixtus had not been many minutes on his way when a thought smote him like a sledge-hammer. he brought his fist down furiously on the leathern seat.
“what a fool! what a monumental fool i’ve been!” he cried.
he had just realised that the devil had offered him as pretty a little chance of sheer wickedness as could be met with on a may morning, which he had not taken. instead of giving the man ten shillings, he ought to have laughed in his face, taunted him with his emaciation and driven off without paying the half-crown he had promised. to have let the very first opportunity slip through his fingers! he would have to wear a badge like that of the gentle duke guarnieri to keep his wits from wandering.
when he reached home he looked for a moment into the little room at the head of the kitchen stairs. the blissful one still slept, a happy smile on her face, and the paper pinned to her apron.
there was surely some chance of wickedness here. quixtus furens scratched an inventive head. suppose he carried her outside and set her on the doorstep. he regarded her critically. she was buxom—about twelve stone. he was a spare and unathletic man. a great yawn interrupted his speculations, and turning off the light he stumbled off sleepily and wearily to bed.
