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CHAPTER VII

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late sittings—fines—cards—characters—supper clubs

amongst the changes in club-life in london, perhaps the most striking is the almost total cessation of the late sittings in which members formerly indulged. various causes have contributed to make people in the west end of london keep earlier hours, of which the most notable is that the number of unoccupied men, who once formed a large proportion of those living in what is called the fashionable part of the town, has shrunk to a very small number, if it has not altogether ceased to exist. in other days there were plenty of young bachelors with something under a thousand a year who spent their life in complete idleness. a club was the pivot of their existence, and here they would often sit till the small-hours of the morning.

another cause of early hours is the great popularity of motoring and golf, the widespread indulgence in which does anything but promote a love of sitting up late.

at the time when a great number of people had nothing to do all day, not a few regarded the night as being the most amusing part of their existence, when they could forgather with choice spirits and 179sit talking one against the other, as the old phrase had it, “till all was blue.”

as illustrating the lateness of the hours formerly kept by members of some west end clubs, a story used to be told about a staid country member who, arriving at one of these institutions, having travelled by a night train, went up to the coffee-room and began to order breakfast, upon which he was told, by a sleepy waiter, that no suppers were served after 6 a.m.

one of the latest sitters was theodore hook, so renowned for spontaneous wit. he was very proud of a peculiar receipt of his own for the prevention of exposure to the evil effects of night air. “i was once very ill,” said he, “and my doctor gave me particular orders not to expose myself to it; so i come up (from fulham) every day to crockford’s, or some other place, to dinner, ever since which i have made it a rule on no account to go home again till about four or five o’clock in the morning.”

those were the days when the closing hours of a number of west end clubs were much later than is at present the case. now there are seldom many members to be found in a club-house after one, and fines have become rare. up to about fifteen or twenty years ago, considerable laxity prevailed as to enforcing these penalties which are exacted for sitting up after a certain hour, but the introduction of more business-like habits into west end life has put an end to such a state of affairs. late sittings at clubs were, of course, in the vast majority of instances, connected with 180card-playing; and when this pastime was more prevalent than is now the case, some confirmed lovers of whist, and later of bridge, occasionally sat very late indeed.

whist is now practically an obsolete game, and it is curious to recall that the introduction of short whist was once considered a great innovation. “major a.,” the author of “short whist,” a book which was famous in the middle of the last century, gives the following account of its origin: “this revolution was occasioned by a worthy welsh baronet preferring his lobster for supper hot. four first-rate whist-players—consequently four great men—adjourned from the house of commons to brooks’s, and proposed a rubber while the cook was busy. ‘the lobster must be hot,’ said the baronet. ‘a rubber may last an hour,’ said another, ‘and the lobster may be cold again or spoiled before we finish.’ ‘it is too long,’ said a third. ‘let us cut it shorter,’ said the fourth. carried nem. con. down they sat, and found it very lively to win or lose so much quicker. besides furnishing conversation for supper, the thing was new—they were legislators, and had a fine opportunity to exercise their calling.”

another version was supplied by james clay, who was one of the principal authorities on whist in his day. his account is as follows:

“some eighty years back, lord peterborough having one night lost a large sum of money, the friends with whom he was playing proposed to make the game five points instead of ten, in order to give the loser a chance, at a quicker game, of 181recovering his loss. the late mr. hoare of bath, a very good whist-player, and without a superior at piquet, was one of this party, and used frequently to tell this story.”

whatever the origin of short whist may have been, the controversy between the advocates of long whist and those who supported the new game was a bitter struggle. innovators are always hated, and have their characters blackened by those who have grown too old to care for the new, or those who are too unintelligent to do so. the clergy to a man were for long whist.

the laws of whist were first codified in england at the instance of mr. baldwin. the turf club in 1863 was called the arlington. the matter was suggested to the committee of the arlington, and a number of members were appointed to investigate matters and compile a code. these were: george bentinck, m.p. for west norfolk; john bushe, son of the chief justice of “patronage” fame; j. clay, m.p., chairman; charles c. grenville; sir rainald knightley, m.p.; h. b. mayne, g. payne, and colonel ripon. when completed, the code was submitted to the portland club, and a committee of this the chief whist club of the country considered its contents. this committee consisted of h. d. jones, chairman, the father of the late “cavendish,” who died in 1899; charles adams, w. f. baring, h. fitzroy, samuel petrie, h. m. riddell, and r. wheble. it was on april 30, 1864, that the code was officially sanctioned—a red-letter day in the annals of whist.

the triumph of bridge over whist is a matter 182of recent social history which will be dealt with later on.

the greatest breach of regulations ever committed was probably that which occurred in a well-known west end club some thirteen or fourteen years ago, when two members sat through the whole night at cards, and became so absorbed in their game that they were still sitting there at the re-opening at nine the next morning. notwithstanding the arrival of a number of outraged members, they continued playing till one, when, having reluctantly risen from the card-table, they walked out into the sunlight, handing in their resignations as they left. as a matter of fact, the stakes played for were comparatively moderate, and the differences at the close of the séance were consequently small. both men, it should be added, were confirmed sitters-up, and the abnormal hours kept by them on several previous occasions had called forth remonstrances from the committee. at the majority of london clubs, fines are inflicted on those sitting up after the hours of one-thirty or two, though in some cases they begin earlier or later. in such club-houses as are not definitely closed at two-thirty or three, the fines gradually rise till the hour of five or six o’clock is reached, when any further sojourn in the club-house is punished by expulsion.

the amount to be paid for remaining in certain clubs till the actual time of closing is considerable; nevertheless there have been instances of members remaining to the very last minute who were not card-players, and merely sat up through indifference or thoughtlessness.

183the present writer remembers one member who actually had to pay a fine of £17 for sitting all alone in a club till the doors were closed. this gentleman had a perfect mania for not going to bed, and his habit of keeping the whole club-house going, long after the other members were in bed, eventually caused a complete readjustment of the scale of fines and the adoption of an earlier hour for closing. as a matter of fact, though he paid the heavy fines with perfect complacency, the sums received were not sufficient to cover the expenses of lighting, servants, and the like, for the whole establishment, of course, had to be kept going till it was his pleasure to depart.

in old days, quite a number of club-men would habitually turn night into day; but this is no longer the case, and the few members who still adhere to the habits of another age are generally regarded with little favour by committees. several clubs, as a matter of fact, have altered their hours entirely to prevent the club-house from being kept open solely for the benefit of one or two members.

another complaint against late sitters is that the club servants, in consequence of being obliged to keep later hours, are unfitted for their work; but there is really no particular reason why this should be the case, as a different staff comes on duty towards the evening, the members of which, at several clubs, are allotted a certain proportion of any fines.

the latest club of all used formerly to be the garrick, where, in the days when the late sir henry irving, mr. toole, and others, came to supper in 184the small dining-room, very late or rather very early hours indeed were kept. within the last few years, late sittings have ceased to be the order of the day except on certain occasions, and new rules have been made, the general tendency of which is to encourage a comparatively early retirement to bed. an exception, however, is made in favour of saturday night, the traditional evening for suppers at the garrick.

one of the latest clubs in london used to be the st. james’, founded more than forty years ago by the late marquis d’azeglio and others. one of the objects for which this club was formed was to provide a meeting-place for secretaries and attachés after balls and parties, and for this reason no fine at all was inflicted before 4 p.m. it may also be added that in former years such fines as did exist were not very rigorously enforced. quite a different state of affairs, however, now prevails, the whole scale of fines having been readjusted some years ago, owing to which—and other causes—late sittings are now things of the past.

the beefsteak club, like the garrick, once contained quite a number of members who had a great disinclination to go to bed, and who lingered late over the pleasant talk of the supper-table. here also the spirit of the age has effected a change, for practically all the old school of beefsteakers, of which that most delightful of men, the late joseph knight, was such a brilliant example, are gone, and the hours kept are now very reasonable.

the turf club, which used formerly to be full of people after the theatres were closed, is now 185somewhat deserted at night, and the same state of affairs prevails at practically all the west end clubs.

the late hours once kept by many club-men were in a great measure the cause of the dislike with which a number of old-fashioned, strait-laced people used to regard london clubs, which, as has already been said, were denounced as pernicious resorts where drinking and gaming were by no means unknown. to-day such accusations can no longer with any justice be sustained.

in france, however, the state of affairs as regards gaming, at least, is very different, for, owing to the heavy tax levied by government upon club funds, no institution of the nature of a club can be prosperously conducted without some amount of gambling. indeed, most french clubs of any social standing derive a considerable portion of their income from card-money, and not a few permit baccarat, the profits of which, drawn from the cagnotte, bring in a large sum of money to the club funds. in england, however, except in a few exceptional cases—crockford’s, for instance—no club has ever existed for the avowed purpose of play. to begin with, public opinion has always viewed this pastime (which so often degenerates into a vice) with extremely unfavourable eyes, and no one of any position has cared to be seen openly risking large sums of money upon the turn of a card. in addition to this, any protracted continuance of high play in a club has always been reprobated by a large majority of members as being likely to produce a scandal—and, as a matter of fact, 186a scandal has almost invariably followed in the wake of high play.

the french, many of whom set aside a certain amount of money to be used for play—a bourse du jeu, as it is called—are well aware of the danger of losing their heads at cards; but the vast majority of englishmen are soon made nervous and excited when once they have been caught by the fascination of play. for this reason—or some other—a high game never goes on very long without the occurrence of a catastrophe, for sooner or later someone will lose a far larger sum of money than he can either afford or pay. the generality of club members limit their gambling to a mild game of bridge, and there is very little play at anything else now. some twenty years ago, however, there was a slight epidemic of the gaming fever in the west end of london, and quite a number of so-called “clubs,” the only object of which was high play, were started, mostly by shrewd veterans of the sporting world, some of whom remembered the days when hazard had extracted such vast sums from the pockets of careless corinthians, and when wily crockford conducted his great temple of chance in st. james’s street. such clubs were, of course, furnished with a committee and an elaborate set of rules, the most respected of which were those relating to the fines. these, after a certain hour, brought much grist to the proprietors’ mills. such clubs were in reality little but miniature casinos, and the main, if not the sole, qualification for membership lay in being possessed of ample funds and a tendency to part with them easily. the chief of these institutions 187were situated off piccadilly and st. james’s street, about which the spirit of that reckless speculation which raged in this neighbourhood so fiercely in the eighteenth century has always had a tendency to linger.

baccarat was the game played at these haunts, and, though everything was quite fairly conducted, the loss of large sums by well-known young men about town eventually attracted considerable comment, and before very long the park club was raided by the police, upon which occasion a high legal luminary, it is said, was with the greatest difficulty smuggled out of the place. a celebrated trial, at the end of which baccarat was finally ruled to be an illegal game, resulted in the closing of this club. a somewhat similar institution, the field club, rose on its ashes, but this also was eventually raided and put an end to. since that time one or two small clubs have been formed by a certain number of people desirous of playing bridge or poker for high stakes, but all of them have had a brief existence. the clubs just mentioned, it should be added, were quite different from the gaming clubs of the past, the members being rich men well able to take care of themselves, and the only reason for their cessation was that, as the membership was in every case very limited, they got tired of playing at the game of dog eat dog.

sixty years ago, and later, there was a good deal of high play in london clubs. during the action for libel brought by lord de ros, when he had been accused of cheating at graham’s, one witness admitted that in the course of fifteen years he had 188won £35,000, chiefly at whist; another said that his winnings averaged £1,600 a year. he generally played from three to five hours daily before dinner, and did not deny often having played all night.

graham’s, 87 st. james’s street, was at that time the headquarters of whist, and here it was said lord henry bentinck invented the “blue peter,” or call for trumps.

here lieutenant-colonel aubrey, who declared that, next to winning, losing was the greatest pleasure in the world, is supposed once to have lost £35,000.

bridge is said to have been first played in london at the portland in the autumn of 1894, when it was introduced by lord brougham.

he was, it is said, playing whist, and, as he dealt the last card, neglected to turn it face upwards. by way of apology he then said: “i’m sorry, but i thought i was playing bridge;” and by way of explanation he gave a brief description of the new game, which so attracted his fellow-members that it soon took the place of whist.

bridge, however, had been played long before this in eastern europe, and even in persia, where the present writer perfectly remembers it as a popular game as far back as 1888.

the members of a colony of greeks, indeed, are said to have played a sort of bridge in manchester eighteen years before this, though the value of no trumps and of four aces was rather less than is now the case.

the headquarters of bridge is the portland club, now located at the corner of st. james’s square. it moved here from stratford place, its old original 189home having been in bloomsbury square. for everything connected with bridge, as it was formerly for whist, the portland is the acknowledged authority as the arbiter of disputes and for the promulgation of rules. there are about three hundred members of this club, which admits guests to dine, after which they may play in a small card-room specially reserved for their use.

another card-playing club, which, however, admits no strangers, is the baldwin, in pall mall east, which opens at two o’clock in the afternoon. the stakes here are very small.

besides these admirably-conducted institutions, as theodore hook wrote, there are several

“clubs for men upon the turf (i wonder they aren’t under it);

clubs where the winning ways of sharper folks pervert the use of clubs,

where knaves will make subscribers cry,

‘egad! this is the deuce of clubs.’”

the latter term certainly applied to crockford’s, which was flourishing when the lines in question were written. here the wily proprietor neglected nothing to attract men of fashion of that day, most of whose money eventually drifted into his pockets.

well knowing the value of a first-class cuisine, he provided every sort of culinary luxury, and took care that the suppers should be so excellent as to make his club the resort of all sorts of men about town, who flocked in about midnight from white’s, brooks’s, and the opera, to titillate their palates and try their luck at the hazard-table afterwards. many who began cautiously, and risked but little, 190by degrees acquired a taste for the excitement of play, and ended by staking large sums, which they generally lost. some few only were lucky; a certain young blood, for instance, who one night won the price of his “troop” in the life guards, purchased it, and never touched a dice-box again.

if, however, people were more or less sure to lose their money at crockford’s, they were equally certain of getting admirable food at a quite nominal price, and for this reason many men of small means had little reason to complain of the great gambling institution in st. james’s street.

as was once wittily said, a certain text of scripture exactly applied to the proprietor. this was: “he hath filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he hath sent empty away.”

benjamin crockford had begun life as a fishmonger near temple bar, but, being of a sporting character, was accustomed to stake a few shillings nightly at a low gaming-house kept by george smith in king’s place; later, he was lucky in a turf transaction. his first venture as a gaming-house proprietor was the purchase, for £100, of a fourth share in a hell at no. 5, king street. his partners here were men named abbott, austin, and holdsworth, and their operations were not above suspicion. afterwards crockford, in partnership with two others, opened a french hazard bank at 81 piccadilly, and here again there was foul-play. the bank cleared £200,000 in a very short time; false dice were found on the premises and exhibited in a shop window in bond street for some days, and crockford was sued by 191numbers of his victims, but took care to compromise every action before it had entered upon such an acute stage as to entail publicity.

crockford’s patrons were all men of rank and breeding, the utmost decorum was observed, and society at the club was of the most pleasant and fashionable character. there was no smoking-room, and in the summer evenings the habitués of crockford’s used to stand outside in the porch, with their cigars, drinking champagne and seltzer, and looking at the people going home from parties or the opera. white’s, except in the afternoons, was deserted, members naturally going across the way, where there was a first-rate supper with wine of unexceptionable quality provided free of cost.

crockford was well repaid for his liberality in these matters. by the profits of the hazard-table he realized in the course of a few years the enormous sum of £1,200,000.

though the days when a certain number of london clubs were merely gaming-houses in disguise have long gone, there still exist club-men whose principal interest is the turf, and these not infrequently are much interested in the tape, around which they congregate when any important race is being run, the while mysterious murmurings and vague vaticinations prevail. such members are generally young; with the increase of years they become, for the most part, profoundly indifferent to the expensive question of first, second, or third. a few ardent enthusiasts, however, retain their taste for this form of speculation, in spite of the long and inevitable series of disappointments which are the 192lot of the vast majority of starting-price backers. rushing wildly into the club, they fly at once to the tape, generally dashing off to the telephone to put more money into some bookmaker’s pocket.

the cricket enthusiast is another great patron of the tape, by which he is either thoroughly depressed or rendered radiant, according to the comparative failure or success of his favourite county. he is generally a very kindly man, of innocent tastes and habits, which speaks well for the humanizing influence of lord’s and the oval.

two clubs which are much frequented by the best class of sporting men are the comparatively old-established raleigh (founded in 1858), in regent street, and the newer badminton (founded in 1876), in piccadilly, both of them well-managed institutions.

the raleigh, which has always enjoyed a reputation for its cooking, in its earlier days was the scene of many an amusing prank played by younger members. all this, however, has long been a thing of the past.

a striking change in club-life is the vastly decreased consumption of alcohol. in former days, quite a number of members used every day to imbibe a considerable quantity of pernicious brandy and soda, the excess of which, without doubt, sent so many of the last generation to a premature grave. i do not by any means wish to imply that such men became intoxicated. thirty or forty years ago, the drinking habits, so prevalent at the beginning of the last century, had already fallen into great disrepute, but brandy and soda was, for some unknown reason, 193considered a fairly harmless drink, and many club-men imbibed small quantities of it all the day through without in any way showing the slightest effect. nevertheless, the continuous stream of alcohol insidiously ruined many a fine constitution. sensible men of the present age study their health far more carefully, and the amount of what are known as “drinks” served daily in the best west end clubs is now very small indeed. on the other hand, “teas,” which forty years ago were little indulged in, are taken by almost everyone.

as late as the early seventies of the past century most clubs contained a few members of decidedly bibulous habits. these were often by courtesy known as the “captain” or “major,” military titles for which a short term of service in the auxiliary forces had scarcely qualified them. they were, however, often original characters, whose occasional eccentricities deserved the good-humoured toleration with which they were viewed.

to-day, however, a very different state of affairs prevails, and even the slightest tendency to habitual excess is seriously resented; a decided stigma, indeed, attaches to anyone even suspected of intemperance, whilst any open demonstration of inebriety would certainly call forth demands for drastic measures being applied to the member indulging in such a breach of unwritten club law.

the great diminution of drinking amongst the more prosperous classes is nowhere more strikingly shown than by the great decrease of club receipts derived from the sale of wine and spirits. on the other hand, the consumption of mineral 194waters and other non-alcoholic beverages has largely increased.

within the last two decades there has been a marked tendency in west end clubland to relax the somewhat harsh restrictions formerly in force on sunday, which in england is so often a day of dulness and gloom, causing one to wonder how longfellow could ever have described it as “the golden clasp which binds together the volume of the week.” at some clubs it is still a very quiet day, no billiards or cards being played by members; but in others “sabbatarian strictness” has been relaxed. in one or two clubs a sort of compromise exists, and members are permitted to play billiards without the services of a marker.

club customs have, on the whole, changed but little. curiously enough, in spite of the increase of democratic ways in most west end clubs, the custom of sitting down to dinner in evening dress has tended to increase rather than to diminish. at the same time it must be acknowledged that the greatest freedom is permitted in matters of costume, whilst the smart frock-coat, once so conspicuous in clubland, has practically disappeared. straw hats and deerstalkers abound on club hat-pegs, and lounge suits are worn throughout the day till dinner; top-hats and black coats have decreased in number.

almost unlimited freedom now prevails as to choice of dress, and sometimes, perhaps, this licence is carried too far.

in the autumn most members of london clubs become wanderers, their houses being given over to painters and decorators, whilst they receive the 195hospitality of other clubs. a few, amongst which are the national liberal and the garrick, never close; and, indeed, the membership of the former is too large for this club to be received by any other. the painting and decorating in clubs which never leave their habitations is done by easy stages, one or two rooms at a time being given over to the workmen engaged upon the renovating process which london smoke renders so necessary.

whilst club-life, on the whole, has become less formal and ceremonious, a certain number of old-established clubs still maintain a grave solemnity of tone, and such institutions generally contain a considerable number of “permanent officials”—the class which, whatever party may nominally be in control, really runs the country.

these men, whose lives are passed at various government offices, in course of time acquire a peculiar look and manner, so entirely different from that of ordinary humanity that the careful observer and student of the “permanent official” is irresistibly prompted to inquire whether he can ever have been young? the cut of his clothes, his walk, his mannerisms, and the stately slowness of his movements, all betoken a life passed amidst government forms, schedules, and official papers. everything he does is prompted by routine, even to the ordering of a generally well-chosen and moderate dinner.

as he is perfectly aware of the fact that he belongs to the real ruling caste of the land, the permanent official not unnaturally exudes the dignity which he feels is necessary to his high position. 196one pictures him in a tornado or an earthquake still speaking in the same measured tones, and briefly asking (for he is generally a man of few words) who is responsible?

the permanent official, when married, generally has a very presentable wife, chosen no doubt, like his dinner, with a view to not upsetting the even tenor of his daily round. it is, however, almost impossible to believe that he has ever been in love. if he has, any amorous communications penned by him must, one is sure, have been carefully copied and docketed for future reference.

many permanent officials—but not those of the foreign office, who are generally agreeable men of the world—develop into mere automata, radiating a sort of orderly gloom.

the majority live to a good age, in latter years evolving into an even less vivacious type—the “retired permanent official”—very solemn and silent, not infrequently pompous, speaking scarcely at all.

a foreigner of distinction, owing to his official position, had been made an honorary member of a well-known london club. the number of permanent officials included in its membership was such that the club was a veritable palace of silence, and the foreigner, becoming depressed by the pervading atmosphere of gloom, one day ventured to remark to an acquaintance, a retired official of high rank: “you seem to have little conversation here.” “meet me to-morrow afternoon at three o’clock in the smoking-room, and we will have a talk,” was the solemn reply. on the morrow the 197foreigner duly repaired to the appointed place and met his friend, who, settling himself upon a comfortable sofa, took out his watch, looked at it, and said: “i am sorry i can only give you twenty-five minutes.” for this space of time they talked, or rather the foreigner did, for the other uttered little but an occasional word. precisely as the clock marked the appointed hour the latter rose, and, somewhat wearily saying good-bye, walked out of the building. judge of the foreigner’s horror the next morning when, on opening his paper, he read that sir —— ——, his friend of the day before, had fallen down dead in pall mall, stricken by cerebral collapse! the unwonted effort of the previous day’s conversation had been too much for the poor man. for years past he had been used to the almost unbroken silence of the club, which with undeviating regularity he was wont to frequent. the foreigner, who felt that he was practically guilty of homicide, declared he would speak no more in english clubs, and would take good care to warn his foreign friends against any similar murderous tactics should they come to england.

in many clubs there is a mysterious member or two, about whom nothing seems to be known. no one can say who he is, what locality gave him birth, or what his available means of subsistence may be. he is the child of mystery, nor does he ever attempt to raise the veil, except when he vaguely alludes to “his people in the north”; but whether he means the north of england or the north of london no one whom he honours with his acquaintance is ever able to discover. everything about such a man is 198a mystery, including the circumstances which led to his election.

whilst eccentricity, for the most part, takes the innocuous form of avoidance of society, there have been people who have suffered from a disquieting love of sociability. such a one used to make a practice of speaking to all his fellow-members, whether he knew them or not. one day, however, finding himself seated opposite an old gentleman who was reading a newspaper, this individual entirely failed to obtain any answer at all to an incessant flow of talk, so, becoming angry, he at last kicked up his foot and sent the paper flying into its astonished reader’s face, the result being that the aggressor very shortly afterwards retired from the club.

it is said that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump, and it is surprising how disagreeable one cantankerous man who uses his club can make it to those around him. he is always coming upon the scene when not wanted. if you go up to the library, you find him snoring on the sofa, with the very book you have come in search of in his useless grasp. if you dine accidentally at the club, your table is sure to be placed next to his. are you having a quiet chat with a friend, most assuredly will this wretched being drop in and spoil the conversation. he is always quarrelling with people, and asking you to support his complaints. such a man has no friends, and the list of his acquaintances is limited.

in past days old members were sometimes very severe in their comments upon newly-elected young 199men of whose ways they did not approve. one of the latter, just elected to a club, having somehow incurred the wrath of a certain irascible character, to his amazement heard him saying: “what an insupportable cub that fellow is! what on earth were the committee doing to elect him! why, i’d give him a pony not to belong now.” this perturbed the new member, who left the club-house thinking what course he ought to take, and, as luck would have it, met on the staircase a member who bore the well-deserved reputation of being a thorough man of the world. stopping the latter, he told him of the insulting remark, and inquired what he ought to do. “do?” was the reply; “why, nothing at present. after you’ve used the club for another month, you’ll probably be offered a hundred!”

in more or less every club there are one or two solemn-looking members, who are seldom known to speak to anyone, but spend their time in what is, or looks like, deep study. votaries of almost perpetual silence, they are easily made to frown at the sound of conversation. the favourite haunt of such as these is generally the library, which they regard as their own domain, and where on no account must they be disturbed.

one of this class, who in the more expansive days of his youth, twenty years before, had had a great friend who, after leaving the university, went out to live in the east, was one day, according to his usual wont, reading in the library of his club, when, to his horror, he heard the door briskly open. a robust figure, whose countenance seemed not 200entirely unfamiliar, strode up to him, and, seizing his hand heartily, shook it. “well, old fellow,” said the intruder, “it’s many a long day since we met. now let’s hear what you have been doing all these years.” without saying a word, the ruffled student raised a warning finger, and pointed at the placard of “silence” on the mantelpiece.

“i was glad to see the man again,” said he afterwards; “but he had no business to break one of our rules.”

another kind of club-man is the irascible pedant, whose idiosyncrasies make conversation almost impossible. he will address you; he will lecture; he will instruct you; but he will not chat with you—conversation with him is a monologue. he is to preach, you are to listen. if you interrupt him, he will look at you as if sincerely pained by your audacity; if you advance an opinion, he will promptly contradict it; and even if you ask him a question upon a subject of which he knows nothing, he will reply at enormous length.

it was a man of this kind who once described niagara as a horrid place where you couldn’t hear the sound of your own voice.

in former days many clubs included amongst their members a privileged joker or two, to whom very great tolerance was extended. this type of individual used to be particularly fond of exercising his propensities at the expense of the most solemn and pompous of his fellow-members, on whom he would play all sorts of childish tricks.

on one occasion, for instance, having got possession of an old gentleman’s spectacles, a joker of this 201kind took out the glasses. when the old man found them again, he was much concerned at not being able to see, and exclaimed: “why, i’ve lost my sight!” thinking, however, that the impediment to vision might be caused by the dirtiness of the glasses, he then took them off to wipe them, but, not feeling anything, became still more frightened, and cried out: “why, what’s happened now? i’ve lost my feeling, too!”

some irrepressible jokers have paid for their love of fun by having to resign their membership. one of them, whose escapades were notorious in london twenty years ago, sitting half asleep in a certain bohemian club, became very much annoyed at a very red-headed waiter who kept buzzing about his chair. the sight of the fiery locks was eventually too much for this wild spirit, and, darting up and seizing the man, he emptied an inkstand over his head before he could escape.

the result, of course, was expulsion from the club, besides which very substantial compensation was rightly paid to the poor waiter, who complained that he could not go about his work in a parti-coloured condition, and it would take some time before the effects of the ink disappeared.

members who have developed undue eccentricity occasionally cause uneasiness to their fellow-clubmen, for it is sometimes difficult exactly to define the point where personal idiosyncrasies become disquieting to others.

one individual, whom the writer recollects, used to enter a certain club and call for all the back numbers which could be obtained of some weekly 202paper, and then sit solemnly writing at a table surrounded by pile upon pile of the periodical in question. after about an hour of this, he would gather his papers together, and, striding up to the porter’s box, would say: “please inform the prime minister that, after due consideration, i have decided that the cabinet must resign. i will call next monday and leave word as to the composition of the new one.”

a very eccentric member of one club had a disquieting craze which caused him to walk perpetually up and down stairs. the moment he came in of a morning he started for the top floor, going upstairs with a preoccupied air, as though he had serious business on hand. arrived at the topmost landing, he would strike his forehead with the absent-minded despair of a short memory, then turn on his heel and run down again. this operation he would repeat many times a day. the installation of a lift was said to have been a sad blow to him; at first he regarded it with profound distrust, until, with increasing years, he discovered its value, when he became very objectionable to his fellow-members by his excessive use of it.

another original character who belonged to a well-known club used to spend a considerable time every day contemplating himself in a huge mirror, and bursting into explosive fits of laughter. during the whole of this man’s membership he was supposed only to have once spoken to a fellow-member, who, it should be added, was also rather eccentric.

a less misanthropic though highly unconventional 203club-man used to remain in bed all day, getting up only about seven, when he would go to his club to have dinner, which was really a breakfast. this habit, it was said, had been considerably strengthened by reason of the fact that, having once broken through it, and got up early in order to witness some sporting event, he had on his return found himself minus his watch—a loss which more than ever convinced him of the dangers of early rising.

eccentric behaviour in a club once led to an amusing election incident.

a well-known character, who had sat for a certain borough for years, got into considerable trouble at his club—a very exclusive one—owing to having one wet day taken off his boots in the smoking-room, and sat warming his stockinged feet before the fire. complaints were made to the committee, the members of which, highly indignant, at first proposed to turn the offender out. eventually he escaped that extreme indignity, though he was severely reprimanded.

shortly after this the culprit, owing to a general election, found himself obliged to defend his seat against an exceedingly active radical opponent possessed of much caustic wit.

at this time hustings still existed, and candidates exchanged raillery, amounting occasionally to abuse.

both candidates happened to have foreign names, and both entreated the electors to give their votes only to a true-born englishman.

the sitting member was especially bitter, and indulged 204in uncompromising abuse of his opponent—an alien against whose exotic ways he cautioned the electors.

“alien indeed!” retorted the other. “anyhow, i have never been nearly turned out of a club for indecent exposure, like my traducer!”

“only my boots!” roared out his opponent.

but all was in vain, and the electors, fully convinced that their old member had appeared naked in his club, declined to re-elect him.

about two years ago west end clubs were, it is said, at their worst as regards membership; but since then the tide seems to have turned, and a few then in a parlous state have once more found the path of prosperity.

as a matter of fact, the competition of restaurants has improved the cooking in clubs, and many committees have sensibly come to recognize that an attitude of indifference to modern improvements and the changed needs of members does not conduce to the well-being of the institutions over which they preside.

then, too, a number of clubs which had been tottering for years have disappeared, with the result that a number of others have gained members. of late years also, the craze for founding new clubs seems rather to have died away, whilst the fashionable “restaurant clubs,” which for a short time seemed likely to become popular features of west end life, have entirely ceased to exist.

the chief of these was the amphitryon, established some twenty years ago at 41 albemarle street, piccadilly, and presided over by m. émile 205aoust, once ma?tre d’h?tel at bignon’s in paris. the object of the club was to provide the attractions of a first-rate french restaurant, which at the same time should be absolutely exclusive. the subscription was three guineas, and no entrance fee was paid by the first 200 members who joined the club, amongst whom were the then prince of wales and the duke of connaught.

the small club-house was comfortable enough, and the cuisine left little to grumble at. about 700 members were enrolled, and candidates kept flocking in. members were only allowed to introduce three guests at a time, for the accommodation in the dining-room was very limited.

an inaugural dinner was given to the prince of wales, and a highly successful evening was enjoyed by fourteen selected guests at the cost of £120. “kirsch glacé,” one of the plats which figured in the menu, is said to have caused some amusement, the k being called a misprint for h, the first letter of the name of a prominent foreign financier then in great favour with smart society.

the chief faults of this club were its expense and its limited accommodation. a first-class dinner was absurdly expensive, costing close upon £10 a head. in addition to this, the little tables were, on account of the smallness of the premises, so closely packed that intimate conversation was next to impossible. it must be observed, however, that there were private rooms upstairs which could be reserved for dinner-parties, and many were given.

after a short time the amphitryon closed its doors, and left behind it nothing but the memory 206of some excellent dinners and a certain number of heavy unpaid bills.

a somewhat similar institution was the maison dorée club, at no. 38 dover street. the committee was an influential one, numbering amongst its members the dukes of st. albans and wellington, lord breadalbane, lord dungarvan, lord castletown, lord camoys, lord lurgan, prince henry of pless, and lord suffield. the entrance fee was two guineas, and the annual subscription the same sum. the cuisine was under the management of the maison dorée, which was then in the last days of its existence in paris.

the club-house was almost too elaborately decorated. gold, indeed, had spread even to the area railings, and the lock of the area door itself was adorned with heavy dull gold! the pantry-maid, it was said, had a solid gold key to open and shut the latter for the convenience of any favoured policeman! on the whole, the building presented a most imposing, if rather gaudy, appearance. the decorations of the dining-room consisted principally of pastoral scenes painted on tapestry panels in the french style, whilst a large glass tea-house overhung the garden, and was supposed to form a highly attractive feature.

the club, however, met with the same fate as the amphitryon; indeed, it fared a great deal worse, the latter for a time, at least, having been a success, which the maison dorée never was. lingering on in a moribund state, it soon flickered out, its disappearance being followed some time later by that of the parent restaurant in paris, which, owing to 207lack of support, ended its career, to the regret of all lovers of high-class gastronomy.

later on, one or two other restaurants made an attempt to introduce “supper clubs,” where members might remain after 12.30, the closing hour which a ridiculous act of parliament fixes for all licensed premises. none of these supper clubs, however, proved successful. quite naturally, people soon became tired of seeing the same faces; besides, there is nothing that amuses ladies so much as scanning and criticizing the heterogeneous crowds which nightly flock to restaurants after the theatre. willis’s—for a time much frequented by the smart world—was remodelled and spoilt in order to make room for a club of this sort, with the result that an excellent restaurant lost its popularity, and finally disappeared altogether.

not very many years ago, before the registration of clubs was made compulsory by law, there were many so-called “clubs” in london which were little but revivals of the old night-houses and gaming-hells, though the latter were always subject to occasional raids. whether the suppression of markedly bohemian clubs generally was an entirely wise measure seems somewhat doubtful; the mere hounding of dissipation from one haunt to another effects no good, and in all probability the best plan would have been to tolerate a certain number of such resorts, provided they were orderly and did not constitute a nuisance to the neighbourhood.

the gambling clubs, often run by very shady characters, undoubtedly did considerable harm to numbers of pigeons, who, however, would in most 208instances have lost their money even had such resorts not existed. the best known of these so-called “clubs,” however, were started solely to pillage some rich young dupes who formed the support of such places and their crowd of most dubious members. clubs of this kind often provided a very luxurious supper free, it being well worth the while of the proprietor to attract anyone likely to keep the place going. as a rule, the individual in question also laid the odds during the afternoon, and some colossal pieces of roguery were not infrequently perpetrated in connection with turf speculation. as late as the early eighties of the last century, young men about town were exposed to every kind of insidious robbery. the more blatant forms of west end brigandage seem now to have abated; but human nature does not change, and very likely they have merely altered in form.

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