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CHAPTER XI POLICY AND POLITENESS.

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heard there was glorious skating on the serpentine yesterday!” cried vincent. “i’ll be off there this fine morning, and see the fun!”

“i’ll go with you,” said louisa; “i’m sick to death of both books and work. belgrave square is as dull as a city of the dead; i want to go where a little life is stirring!”

“pray, on no account venture on the ice,” cried clemence; “the weather is so much milder to-day, that i feel sure that there must be a thaw.”

“i suppose,” said louisa very pertly, “that i may use my own judgment in the matter. i happen to possess a little common sense, and have not the slightest wish to be drowned.”

“i am sure that you are greatly indebted to mrs. effingham for her tender anxiety on your account,” said lady selina very ironically, glancing up from the last number of punch.

“that old mischief-maker!” thought captain thistlewood; “we should all get on well enough but for her! what a blessing it would be to clemence if the proud dame could once be got out of the house.—well, young folk!” he said aloud, “if you want some one to see that you don’t make ducks and drakes of yourselves, i’m your man; i’ll go to the park with you myself!”

“we don’t want your company,” said the schoolboy rudely; “i can take care of my sister.”

“a footman will follow us,” added louisa superciliously; “i may meet friends in the park, and it would cause too great a sensation amongst them if i were to be seen escorted by captain thistlewood!” and so saying, with a mock reverence she quitted the room, and was followed by vincent whistling.

the old sailor did not appear to understand the implied satire, or to be aware that an earl’s granddaughter could possibly be ashamed to be seen with an unfashionable companion. but if his simplicity warded the insult from himself, it glanced off from him to wound the more sensitive spirit of his niece.

“you will escort me, dear uncle,” said clemence; “it will be such a pleasure to walk with you again!”

“presently, my dear,” replied the captain, seating himself on the sofa, of which the greater part was occupied by the stiff silk flounces of lady selina.

“i will put on my bonnet—”

“do not hurry yourself,” was the sailor’s quiet reply. the truth is, that he had resolved upon having a tête-à-tête with clemence’s arch tormentor, and was revolving in his honest mind how best to make it clear to her apprehension, without showing discourtesy to a lady, that as two suns cannot shine in one sphere, no more can two mistresses bear rule in one dwelling. captain thistlewood had sufficient observation to perceive that lady selina’s influence lay at the root of all the bitterness and unkindness which clemence was called on to endure, and he considered that it would be a master-stroke of diplomacy, could he induce the grand lady voluntarily to resign a position which he could not think that she had any right to hold in the house of his niece.

lady selina was also meditating, though her eyes appeared to be riveted upon punch. she was pondering how mrs. effingham’s new and strange ally, formidable from the straightforward vehemence of his manner, and his invulnerability to personal insult, could best be coaxed, since he could not be chased from the field. these were strange opponents left to face each other alone,—simplicity versus art—the warm-hearted, honest old sailor, versus the cold, calculating woman of the world!

lady selina was the first to commence the conversation. she laid her paper down upon the cushion beside her, and turning towards her auditor, observed with an air of affected indifference, as if merely fulfilling an office of common courtesy to a guest, “you must greatly miss, captain thistlewood, the delightful serenity of the country. i dare say that, after a life spent in charming seclusion, you find london a sad, noisy, bustling place.”

“i like it—i like it,” replied the old sailor good-humouredly; “there was never anything of the hermit about me. i was knocked about the world for many a long year, and rather like to live in a bustle, and see plenty of my fellow-creatures about me. no babbling stream pleases my old eyes so much as the stream of people down oxford street.”

lady selina was instantly upon another tack. “i perfectly agree with you,” she said; “and i must own” (here she lowered her voice confidentially) “that belgrave square is a great deal too dull and out of the way for my taste.”

“is it?” cried the captain eagerly.

“so far from the best shops, all the exhibitions—from everything, in short, that gives its charm to the great metropolis.”

“so it is—the dullest spot in all london,” was the hearty rejoinder. “she’s really preparing for a removal,” thought the exulting captain.

“now, there are a great many excellent lodgings a great deal nearer to the centre of the city—reasonable, too,” pursued lady selina, imagining that her fish was approaching the bait, and that, by a little delicate management, she could land him in some convenient spot well removed from the effingham mansion. “i should say, now, that bloomsbury square is a very centrical situation.”

“i’ve no doubt of it—no doubt of it at all!” cried the captain, who had not the faintest idea of the locality, but caught something rural in the sound of the name.

“and you see, captain thistlewood,” continued lady selina, feeling her line with dexterity and caution,—“you see that there is a freedom to be enjoyed in a life of independence, which must necessarily be resigned by any one forming a member of a large establishment. one is not tied down to hours—one can indulge little fancies and tastes without encroaching upon the comfort of others.” she paused and glanced at her auditor, to see whether she might venture on a little stronger pull.

the face of the captain was becoming quite radiant. “you feel and think exactly as i do, ma’am,” he exclaimed.

“it must be so painful to a refined mind,” pursued the lady, “to contemplate the possibility of being a little in the way of causing any inconvenience,—any disturbance of arrangements,—any—”

“any bickerings in the family, you would say,” eagerly joined in the captain; “yes, yes, you express my very thoughts. it does not do to have many wills in one house,—one pulling this way, another that. it is far better to meet now and then as good friends, than to live under one roof with perpetual jarring.”

“then, perhaps, you perceive the advisability of soon looking out—”

“looking out for lodgings?” interrupted the old gentleman. “i’ll do so with the greatest pleasure in life! i’m quite at your ladyship’s service. i’ll hunt half london over, but i will get a place to suit you!”

“to suit me!” exclaimed the astonished lady. as the words were upon her lips clemence re-entered the room, and her uncle, too full of his success to keep it to himself, cried out as he got up to meet her, “had we not better put off our walk, clemence? i’m going off at once to look for lodgings for lady selina in bloomsbury square.”

clemence’s blue eyes opened wide in astonishment; she turned them inquiringly towards lady selina, who rose from her seat with the dignity of which even surprise and anger could not deprive her. “there are some people,” she said bitterly, “who mistake impertinence for wit, and pride themselves on their talent for raising a laugh, even if it be at their own expense. captain thistlewood is an adept in the art; but he may learn that under my brother-in-law’s roof such jesting may be carried too far;” and she swept out of the room without vouchsafing a single word of explanation to the wondering clemence.

the captain remained perfectly silent until the rustle of the lady’s silk was heard no more on the staircase, and then burst into a loud fit of uncontrollable mirth. “a regular irish blunder!” he exclaimed, as soon as he could command his voice; “politeness and policy bowing each other so ceremoniously out of the house, that they knocked their heads together at the door!” and he laughed and chuckled over his own mistake, and that of the astute lady selina, long after he and clemence had quitted belgrave square on their way to the scene of the skating.

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