i had long ago determined to leave london as soon as the means should be in my power, and, now that they were, i determined to leave the great city; yet i felt some reluctance to go. i would fain have pursued the career of original authorship which had just opened itself to me, and have written other tales of adventure. the bookseller had given me encouragement enough to do so; he had assured me that he should be always happy to deal with me for an article (that was the word) similar to the one i had brought him, provided my terms were moderate; and the bookseller's wife, by her complimentary language, had given me yet more encouragement. but for some months past i had been far from well, and my original indisposition, brought on partly by the peculiar atmosphere of the big city, partly by anxiety of mind, had been much increased by the exertions which i had been compelled to make during the last few days. i felt that, were i to remain where i was, i should die, or become a confirmed [pg 117]valetudinarian. i would go forth into the country, travelling on foot, and, by exercise and inhaling pure air, endeavour to recover my health, leaving my subsequent movements to be determined by providence.
but whither should i bend my course? once or twice i thought of walking home to the old town, stay some time with my mother and my brother, and enjoy the pleasant walks in the neighbourhood; but, though i wished very much to see my mother and my brother, and felt much disposed to enjoy the said pleasant walks, the old town was not exactly the place to which i wished to go at this present juncture. i was afraid the people would ask, where are your northern ballads? where are your alliterative translations from ab gwilym—of which you were always talking, and with which you promised to astonish the world? now, in the event of such interrogations, what could i answer? it is true i had compiled newgate lives and trials, and had written the life of joseph sell, but i was afraid that the people of the old town would scarcely consider these as equivalents for the northern ballads and the songs of ab gwilym. i would go forth and wander in any direction but that of the old town.
but how one's sensibility on any particular[pg 118] point diminishes with time; at present, i enter the old town perfectly indifferent as to what the people may be thinking on the subject of the songs and ballads. with respect to the people themselves, whether, like my sensibility, their curiosity has altogether evaporated, or whether, which is at least equally probable, they never entertained any, one thing is certain, that never in a single instance have they troubled me with any remarks on the subject of the songs and ballads.
as it was my intention to travel on foot, with a bundle and a stick, i despatched my trunk containing some few clothes and books to the old town. my preparations were soon made; in about three days i was in readiness to start.
stonehenge
after standing still a minute or two, considering what i should do, i moved down what appeared to be the street of a small straggling town; presently i passed by a church, which rose indistinctly on my right hand; anon there was the rustling of foliage and the rushing of waters. i reached a bridge, beneath which a small stream was running in the direction of the south. i stopped and leaned over the parapet, for i have always loved to look upon[pg 119] streams, especially at the still hours. "what stream is this, i wonder?" said i, as i looked down from the parapet into the water, which whirled and gurgled below.
leaving the bridge, i ascended a gentle acclivity, and presently reached what appeared to be a tract of moory undulating ground. it was now tolerably light, but there was a mist or haze abroad which prevented my seeing objects with much precision. i felt chill in the damp air of the early morn, and walked rapidly forward. in about half an hour i arrived where the road divided into two, at an angle or tongue of dark green sward. "to the right or the left?" said i, and forthwith took, without knowing why, the left-hand road, along which i proceeded about a hundred yards, when, in the midst of the tongue of sward formed by the two roads, collaterally with myself, i perceived what i at first conceived to be a small grove of blighted trunks of oaks, barked and grey. i stood still for a moment, and then, turning off the road, advanced slowly towards it over the sward; as i drew nearer, i perceived that the objects which had attracted my curiosity, and which formed a kind of circle, were not trees, but immense upright stones. a thrill pervaded my system; just before me were two, the mightiest of the whole, tall as the stems of proud oaks, supporting on their[pg 120] tops a huge transverse stone, and forming a wonderful doorway. i knew now where i was, and, laying down my stick and bundle, and taking off my hat, i advanced slowly, and cast myself—it was folly, perhaps, but i could not help what i did—cast myself, with my face on the dewy earth, in the middle of the portal of giants, beneath the transverse stone.
the spirit of stonehenge was strong upon me!
and after i had remained with my face on the ground for some time, i arose, placed my hat on my head, and, taking up my stick and bundle, wandered around the wondrous circle, examining each individual stone, from the greatest to the least; and then, entering by the great door, seated myself upon an immense broad stone, one side of which was supported by several small ones, and the other slanted upon the earth; and there in deep meditation, i sat for an hour or two, till the sun shone in my face above the tall stones of the eastern side.
and as i still sat there, i heard the noise of bells, and presently a large number of sheep came browsing past the circle of stones; two or three entered, and grazed upon what they could find, and soon a man also entered the circle at the northern side.
"early here, sir," said the man, who was[pg 121] tall, and dressed in a dark green slop, and had all the appearance of a shepherd; "a traveller, i suppose?"
"yes," said i, "i am a traveller; are these sheep yours?"
"they are, sir; that is, they are my master's. a strange place this, sir," said he, looking at the stones; "ever here before?"
"never in body, frequently in mind."
"heard of the stones, i suppose; no wonder—all the people of the plain talk of them."
"what do the people of the plain say of them?"
"why, they say—how did they ever come here?"
"do they not suppose them to have been brought?"
"who should have brought them?"
"i have read that they were brought by many thousand men."
"where from?"
"ireland."
"how did they bring them?"
"i don't know."
"and what did they bring them for?"
"to form a temple, perhaps."
"what is that?"
"a place to worship god in."
"a strange place to worship god in."
"why?"
[pg 122]
"it has no roof."
"yes, it has."
"where?" said the man, looking up.
"what do you see above you?"
"the sky."
"well?"
"well!"
"have you anything to say?"
"how did those stones come here?"
"are there other stones like these on the plains?" said i.
"none; and yet there are plenty of strange things on these downs."
"what are they?"
"strange heaps, and barrows, and great walls of earth built on the top of hills."
"do the people of the plain wonder how they came there?"
"they do not."
"why?"
"they were raised by hands."
"and these stones?"
"how did they ever come here?"
"i wonder whether they are here?" said i.
"these stones?"
"yes."
"so sure as the world," said the man; "and as the world, they will stand as long."
"i wonder whether there is a world."
"what do you mean?"
[pg 123]
"an earth and sea, moon and stars, sheep and men."
"do you doubt it?"
"sometimes."
"i never heard it doubted before."
"it is impossible there should be a world."
"it ain't possible there shouldn't be a world."
"just so." at this moment a fine ewe, attended by a lamb, rushed into the circle and fondled the knees of the shepherd. "i suppose you would not care to have some milk?" said the man.
"why do you suppose so?"
"because, so be, there be no sheep, no milk, you know; and what there ben't is not worth having."
"you could not have argued better," said i, "that is, supposing you have argued; with respect to the milk you may do as you please."
"be still, nanny," said the man; and producing a tin vessel from his scrip, he milked the ewe into it. "here is milk of the plains, master," said the man, as he handed the vessel to me.
"where are those barrows and great walls of earth you were speaking of?" said i, after i had drunk some of the milk; "are there any near where we are?"
[pg 124]
"not within many miles; the nearest is yonder away," said the shepherd, pointing to the south-east. "it's a grand place, that, but not like this; quite different, and from it you have a sight of the finest spire in the world."
"i must go to it," said i, and i drank the remainder of the milk; "yonder, you say."
"yes, yonder; but you cannot get to it in that direction, the river lies between."
"what river?"
"the avon."
"avon is british," said i.
"yes," said the man, "we are all british here."
"no, we are not," said i.
"what are we, then?"
"english."
"a'n't they one?"
"no."
"who were the british?"
"the men who are supposed to have worshipped god in this place, and who raised these stones."
"where are they now?"
"our forefathers slaughtered them, spilled their blood all about, especially in this neighbourhood, destroyed their pleasant places, and left not, to use their own words, one stone upon another."
[pg 125]
"yes, they did," said the shepherd, looking aloft at the transverse stone.
"and it is well for them they did; whenever that stone, which english hands never raised, is by english hands thrown down, woe, woe, woe to the english race; spare it, english! hengist spared it!—here is sixpence."
"i won't have it," said the man.
"why not?"
"you talk so prettily about these stones; you seem to know all about them."
"i never receive presents; with respect to the stones, i say with yourself, how did they ever come here?"
"how did they ever come here?" said the shepherd.
a prospect
leaving the shepherd, i bent my way in the direction pointed out by him as that in which the most remarkable of the strange remains of which he had spoken lay. i proceeded rapidly, making my way over the downs covered with coarse grass and fern; with respect to the river of which he had spoken, i reflected that, either by wading or swimming, i could easily transfer myself and what i bore to the opposite side. on arriving at its banks, i found it a beautiful stream, but shallow, with here and[pg 126] there a deep place, where the water ran dark and still.
always fond of the pure lymph, i undressed, and plunged into one of these gulfs, from which i emerged, my whole frame in a glow, and tingling with delicious sensations. after conveying my clothes and scanty baggage to the farther side, i dressed, and then with hurried steps bent my course in the direction of some lofty ground; i at length found myself on a high road, leading over wide and arid downs; following the road for some miles without seeing anything remarkable, i supposed at length that i had taken the wrong path, and wended on slowly and disconsolately for some time, till, having nearly surmounted a steep hill, i knew at once, from certain appearances, that i was near the object of my search. turning to the right near the brow of the hill, i proceeded along a path which brought me to a causeway leading over a deep ravine, and connecting the hill with another which had once formed part of it, for the ravine was evidently the work of art. i passed over the causeway, and found myself in a kind of gateway which admitted me into a square space of many acres, surrounded on all sides by mounds or ramparts of earth. though i had never been in such a place before, i knew that i stood within the precincts of what had[pg 127] been a roman encampment, and one probably of the largest size, for many thousand warriors might have found room to perform their evolutions in that space, in which corn was now growing, the green ears waving in the morning wind.
after i had gazed about the space for a time, standing in the gateway formed by the mounds, i clambered up the mound to the left hand, and on the top of that mound i found myself at a great altitude; beneath, at the distance of a mile, was a fair old city, situated amongst verdant meadows, watered with streams, and from the heart of that old city, from amidst mighty trees, i beheld towering to the sky the finest spire in the world.
after i had looked from the roman rampart for a long time, i hurried away, and, retracing my steps along the causeway, regained the road, and, passing over the brow of the hill, descended to the city of the spire.
"one of the pleasant moments of life"
after walking about a dozen miles, i came to a town, where i rested for the night. the next morning i set out again in the direction of the north-west. i continued journeying[pg 128] for four days, my daily journeys varying from twenty to twenty-five miles. during this time nothing occurred to me worthy of any especial notice. the weather was brilliant, and i rapidly improved both in strength and spirits. on the fifth day, about two o'clock, i arrived at a small town. feeling hungry, i entered a decent-looking inn—within a kind of bar i saw a huge, fat, landlord-looking person, with a very pretty, smartly-dressed maiden. addressing myself to the fat man, "house!" said i, "house! can i have dinner, house?" "young gentleman," said the huge fat landlord, "you are come at the right time; dinner will be taken up in a few minutes, and such a dinner," he continued, rubbing his hands, "as you will not see every day in these times."
"i am hot and dusty," said i, "and should wish to cool my hands and face."
"jenny!" said the huge landlord, with the utmost gravity, "show the gentleman into number seven, that he may wash his hands and face."
"by no means," said i, "i am a person of primitive habits, and there is nothing like the pump in weather like this."
"jenny!" said the landlord, with the same gravity as before, "go with the young gentleman to the pump in the back kitchen, and take a clean towel along with you."
[pg 129]
thereupon the rosy-faced clean-looking damsel went to a drawer, and producing a large, thick, but snowy-white towel, she nodded to me to follow her; whereupon i followed jenny through a long passage into the back kitchen.
and at the end of the back kitchen there stood a pump; and going to it i placed my hands beneath the spout, and said, "pump, jenny"; and jenny incontinently, without laying down the towel, pumped with one hand, and i washed and cooled my heated hands.
and, when my hands were washed and cooled, i took off my neckcloth, and unbuttoning my shirt collar, i placed my head beneath the spout of the pump, and i said unto jenny, "now, jenny, lay down the towel, and pump for your life."
thereupon jenny, placing the towel on a linen-horse, took the handle of the pump with both hands and pumped over my head as handmaid had never pumped before; so that the water poured in torrents from my head, my face, and my hair down upon the brick floor.
and after the lapse of somewhat more than a minute, i called out with a half-strangled voice, "hold, jenny!" and jenny desisted. i stood for a few moments to recover my breath, then taking the towel which jenny[pg 130] proffered, i dried composedly my hands and head, my face and hair; then, returning the towel to jenny, i gave a deep sigh and said, "surely this is one of the pleasant moments of life."
george borrow,—"lavengro."
