i run away to sea—outbound for australia—appointed solo violinist in the saloon—i watch sailors asleep
i will write you that which no man has written before. i will tell you the truth as i found it. i will tell you of the aspirations of rough but brave men in distant lands and on the ships of distant tropic seas. i will tell you the truth of many thrills that buoyed me up with hope in my wanderings, and also of the chills that crushed in the last forlorn stand on the field of adversity. aye, you shall hear of those things that men dream of in silence. i will pour them out of my soul for the calm eyes of stern reality.
my pages of romance have long since been shrivelled up in tropic seas, under blinding suns, on the plains and in the primeval bush lands, but still i am the living book of all that has been in the dear old dead romance of passionate boyhood. the glorious poems, the dreams of what should be, the flinchless fight for right, have all faded away and left in the secret pages of life the withered flowers of old friendship, tied up with magic threads of women’s kisses, the memories of dead, brave comrades, some under the seas and others under the bush flowers of australian steeps or beneath the tropic jungle of the south sea islands. there they 2sleep with the memories of savage native men singing by their tiny huts which have long ago vanished before the tramp of the white men. all these things are in this book, with the poetry of life which is mine, mingled with the memories of haunting dreams of that world of romance which so many of us sail away to but never, never find.
i cannot promise that in the chapters to follow i can tell all that befell me in the exact order in which the events happened, for it must be that after the flight of years i should stumble a bit in the days and months of a life that was lived in the midst of wild adventure and incessant travel from land to land; but it will be enough to assure you that the characters that i tell you of really lived and for all i know many are still living. when i tell you that an old cockatoo dropped down from the tropic sky on to a blue gum twig overhead and surveyed me with a sideways melancholy eye as i sat alone by my camp fire, be quite sure that that cockatoo lived and breathed, took stock of me and flew away into the sunset, and has doubtlessly dropped into the scrub, a small bunch of dead feather and bone, years ago.
at school i read more from the pages of romance than from school-books. at fourteen years of age the opportunity arrived, and secretly, with the help of an older friend, i succeeded in securing a berth on a full-rigged sailing ship, and, within four hours of my trembling carcass creeping up the gangway and down on to the great decks, i was before the masts going down channel bound for australia.
3my recollections of the first few days are dim. the skies bobbed about, i swayed on deck, the brave old heroes of ages past flew out of my brain into the stormy moonlight and shrieked in the sails overhead, as my head swelled to the size of the dome of st paul’s and i vomited. i longed to be home again. alas! deep-sea sailing ships do not turn round and speed with haste for their native port in response to the feeble schoolboy’s tearful voice. i was done for! hopes, glories, vast ambitions, all vanished! my thin legs trembled along on the decks till i staggered through a little cabin door and fell into my bunk. by some great oversight in the sea discipline i was allowed to sleep for five hours; i cannot remember to a certainty now, but i think i was drowned and died about a thousand times in that first off-watch sleep.
i soon recovered, and discovered that sea captains do not stand on the poop cracking jokes and shying oranges and coco-nuts up at the crew, as they laughingly toil among the sails. i also found that the bo’sun wore very stout boots, and i have never met a man in my life who could kick so true and aim with such precision. five years after, whilst i was in ’frisco, i called on a phrenologist and speculated one dollar, and discovered that the contusion and everlasting bump formed at the back of my head by a bo’sun’s belaying-pin was an inherited taint derived from the over-burdened brains of my passionate ancestors!
well, i recovered my equilibrium, secured good 4sea-legs, went aloft, crawled along the yards, and helped to reef the sails. often in the wild nights the sailors cursed and swore as i clung with might and main, my hands and teeth clinging to the rolling rigging up in the foremast top-gallants. my comrades shouted orders to me, their voices blown away on the thundering night gales, but i only heard the instinctive cry of self-preservation within me as the moon and the great beast-like clouds swayed like mighty pendulums across the night skies, swept from skyline to skyline, while the masts shivered to the roll and thunder of the broadside swell as the ship flew along at eighteen knots before the gale. often i would gaze down deckwards, watching the praying figurehead’s lifted hands heaving skywards when the tropic moonlight made wonderfully brilliant the hills of bubbling foam over the bows as she dived and plunged along. i loved that figurehead, for often as i gazed from aloft on moon-bright nights it seemed to wear a strong resemblance to my dear mother, and with my legs curled round the yards aloft in the lonely sea-nights i would often look down and fancy in my dreams that her shadow ever moved along over the waters below the swaying jib-boom with extended hands, praying for me, as no one ever prayed for me before or since!
i slept amidships with the cook and three other apprentices. i was a favourite with them all, being of a cheerful temperament and a good fiddle player. often in the off watches i would play old familiar 5strains while they joined in the rollicking chorus, awaking the silence of the lonely calm tropic nights in moving waters that belted the whole world, when the sails swayed silently along beneath strange stars, filled out at intervals like drums, then flopped, as the lazy tropic breeze once more sighed and fell asleep.
the old scotch captain heard me playing one night; he was a religious man and taught me some beautiful sea-hymns, and in due course i played in the cabin aft during sunday service, when all the crew mustered, and john the cook, who swore and cursed most fearfully all day long in his galley, opened his big-bearded mouth and sung most expressively those old pious hymns, knocking even the skipper out in melodious reverential pathos!
the dear old skipper had brought his daughter with him. she was a pretty scotch girl—a crew of thirty-six men, and one pretty girl and me! well, i combed my hair, cleaned my teeth, gazed in my little bit of cracked mirror-glass fifty times an hour, for alas! the family failing asserted itself; i had fallen in love! i have never been what you would call really lucky in love, like some happy men; trouble always arose after the first embarrassment had worn off and i felt truly happy, and blessed the universe. and it was so in this my first love affair. one dark night as she stood in shelter by the bulwarks near the saloon door i was admiring her eyes and swearing eternal love, calling all the bright stars to be witnesses to my unchangeable fidelity, and just as i 6kissed her sweet white ear and, in my madness of love, breathed secretly through her beautiful dishevelled, scented hair, as it waved in the moonlight over her lovely curved shoulders, i received a tremendous clump from the old skipper! that night i also received stern orders from the chief mate never to be seen near the saloon again after dark!
i crept into my bunk heartsick and wretched. the affair got about the ship. i was chaffed a good deal by the whole crew. real old sea-salts they were. i can see them now as i dream, walking across the decks by moonlight, muffled up to the teeth in oilskins, some with big crooked noses, all with weary sea-beaten faces. up aloft they go. again i see their big figures move up the ratlings as they reach the moonlit sails, and climbing, vanish in the sky. all around is sky and water and stars, fenced in by eternal skylines, as the ship travels silently onward, a tiny grey-winged world under blue days, starry and stormy skies, towards a skyline that for ever fades, following sunset after sunset across boundless seas. they were a motley crew those sailors. some read books, some believed in spirits, and some in beer, and one would tell us over and over again of his experiences in distant lands and his brave deeds and his wonderful self-sacrifices and many other virtues, not one of which he really possessed.
there was one old sailor who on arriving home on his last voyage found that his wife was dead. he 7would sit on a little empty salt-beef tub and tell me about his courting days and his “old girl who was one of the best,” the tears rolling down his coarse-looking face all the time. he was an extraordinary mixture; in one breath he would almost curse his wife’s memory, and in the next ask me if i thought there was really another world. he could not read or write, and seeing me play the violin and read music as well as books made me almost omnipotent to his sad old eyes. i remember well enough how my heart was touched by his manner and questions as i put on a wise air and convinced him of the soul’s immortality. i even went so far as to tell him that my dead relations had returned to my family as shadows from the other world, and the poor old fellow perched on his tub listened eagerly, believing all i said, and then went off and found his comrades, who sat playing cards by the fo’c’sle door, and laughed the loudest, till they all snored in the fo’c’sle bunks, half stupefied by the smoke and smell of ship’s plug tobacco. i have often seen them by the dingy fo’c’sle oil-lamp fast asleep, seared unshaved faces, all their worldly passions asleep, looking like big children, so innocent, as they snored away, and some of them who had fallen asleep whilst they were chewing tobacco dribbled black juice from the corners of their mouths, their big chests upheaving at each slumbering breath. outside, just overhead, the night winds wailed and whistled weirdly in the rigging as the jib-boom swayed along, and at regular intervals came the thunder of the 8diving bows as the ship dipped and heaved and plunged along over the primeval waters.
five months passed away on that ship. storms blew from all directions and sometimes dead ahead and then we never slept. hauling the mainsail up and tacking is more nuisance than flying before a thousand gales. to stand by the top-gallant halyards as comes the wind; to clew the main sky-sails up, singing chanteys, as you cling to the yards with a thundering gale smashing the highways of the water world into a myriad travelling hills as the wild poetry of the sea singing to the ears of the sailor, and i was never so happy as when the green chargers ramped across the world.
i shall never forget my delight as we were towed down brisbane river, with the everlasting hills all around. i will not weary you with any more details beyond telling you that when we lay alongside the next night i hired a wharf loafer and got my sea-chest secretly ashore and bolted!
