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Chapter 11

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a villager stopped me on my way to school this morning. "look at that," he cried, pointing to a broken branch on a tree in his garden, "that's what comes o' yer nae discipline ideas. that's ane o' yer laddies that put his kite into ma gairden. dawm it, a'll no stand that! ye'll jest go doon to the school and gie that boy the biggest leathering that he's ever had in his life."

i explained patiently that i was not the village constable, and i told him that the broken branch had nothing to do with me. he became angry, but he became speechless when i said, "i sympathise with you. had it been my garden i should have sworn possibly harder than you have done. on the other hand, had it been twenty years ago and my kite, well, i should have done exactly what the boy did. good morning."

although it was no concern of mine i called the boy out, and advised him to try[pg 117] to think of other people. then i addressed the bairns. "you might convey to your parents," i said, "that i am not the policeman in this village; i'm a schoolmaster."

i think that many parents are annoyed at my giving up punishment. they feel that i am not doing their work for them; they think that the dominie should do the training of children ... other people's children, not their own. i find that i am trying to do a very difficult thing. the home influence is bad in many cases; the children hear their parents slight the teacher, and they do not know what to think. the average parent looks upon the teacher as an enemy. if i hit a boy the parents side with him, if i don't hit the boy who hit their boy, they indignantly ask what education is coming to. many a night i feel disheartened. i find that i am on the side of the bairns. i am against law and discipline; i am all for freedom of action.

* * *

at last i have attained my ambition. as a boy my great ambition was to possess a cavalry trumpet and bugle. i have just[pg 118] bought both. i call the bairns to school with "stables" or the "fall in," and i gleefully look forward to playtime so that i may have another tootle. the bairns love to hear the calls, but i think i enjoy them most.

i try hard to share the bairns' joys. at present i am out with them every day flying kites, and i never tire of this. the boys bring me their comic papers, but i find that i cannot laugh at them as i used to do. yet, i like to see chips; weary willie and tired tim are still figuring on the front page, but their pristine glory is gone. when i first knew them they were the creation of tom browne, and no artist can follow tom in his own line.

i miss the old "bloods"; i used to glory in the exploits of frank reade and deadwood dick. i have sat on a sunday with deadwood dick in the covers of a family bible, and my old grandmother patted my head and told me i was a promising lad.

then there was buffalo bill—tuppence coloured; i never see his name now. i wonder why so many parents and teachers cuff boys' heads when they find them reading comic papers and "bloods." i see no harm[pg 119] in either. i wish that people would get out of the absurd habit of taking it for granted that whatever a boy does is wrong. i hold that a boy is nearly always right.

i see in to-day's scotsman that a sheriff substitute in edinburgh has sentenced two brothers of nine and ten to twelve stripes with the birch rod for stealing tuppence ha'penny. the account remarked that the brothers had previously had a few stripes for a similar theft. that punishment is no prevention is proved in this case.

the sheriff substitute must have a very definite idea of righteousness; i envy him his conscience free from all remembrance of shortcomings in the past. for my part had i been sitting in judgment on the poor laddies i should have recollected the various times i have travelled first with a third ticket, sneaked into circuses by lifting the tent cover, laid farthings on the railway so that they might become ha'pennies, or, with a special piece of luck—a goods train—pennies. then i should have invited the boys to tea, and sent them home with comic cuts, two oranges, and a considerable bit of chewing gum. anyhow, my method would have brought out[pg 120] any good in the boys. the method of the judge will bring out no good; it may make the boys feel that they are enemies of society. and i should like to ask the gentleman what he would do if his young son stole the jam. i'm sure he would not send for the birch rod. the damnable thing about the whole affair is that he is probably a very nice kindly man who would not whip a dog with his own hand. his misfortune is his being part of a system.

* * *

i have just added a few volumes to my school library. i tried to recollect the books that i liked as a youth; then i wrote for catalogues of "sevenpennies." the new books include these:—the prisoner of zenda and its sequel, rupert of hentzau, king solomon's mines, montezuma's daughter, the four feathers, a gentleman of france, white fang, the call of the wild, the invisible man, the war of the worlds, the war in the air, dr. nikola, a bid for fortune, micah clarke. i find that the average bairn of thirteen cannot appreciate these stories. margaret steel was the only one who read the scarlet pimpernel and asked for the sequel. most of them stuck half way with zenda. guy boothby's novels,[pg 121] the worst of the lot possibly, appealed to them strongly. the love element bores the boys, but the girls rather like it. one boy sat and yawned over king solomon's mines; then he took out a coloured comic and turned to the serial. i took the book away and told him to read the serial. violet brown prefers a book about giants from the infant room to all the romantic stories extant. after all, they are but children.

* * *

i am delighted with my sketching results. we go out every wednesday and friday afternoon, and many bairns are giving me good work. we usually end up with races or wading in the sea. there was much wonder when first they saw my bare feet, but now they take my feet for granted.

modesty is strong here. the other day the big girls came to me and asked if they could come to school slipshod.

"you can come in your nighties for all i care," i said, and they gasped.

we sit outside all day now. my classes take books and wander away down the road and lie on the banks. when i want them i call with the bugle. each class has a "regimental[pg 122] call," and they come promptly. they most of them sit down separately, but the chatterers like to sit together.

i force no bairn to learn in my school. the few who dislike books and lessons sit up when i talk to the class. the slackers are not always the most ignorant.

i am beginning to compliment myself on having a good temper. for the past six weeks i have left the manual room open at playtime and the boys have made many toys. but they have made a woeful mess of the cutting tools. it is trying to find that your favourite plane has been cracked by a boy who has extreme theories on the fixing of plane irons. but it is very comforting to know that the school board will have to pay for the damage. yes, my temper is excellent.

* * *

on saturday i went to a bazaar, and various members of the aristocracy talked to me. they talked very much in the manner they talk to their gardeners, and i was led to muse upon the social status of a dominie. what struck me most was the fact that they imitate royalty in the broaching of topics of conversation; i knew that i presumed[pg 123] when i entered new ground of conversation. the ladies were very polite and very regal, and very well pleased with themselves. one of them said: "i hope that you do your best to make these children realise that there are classes in society; so many of their parents refuse to see the good in other classes!"

"for my part," i answered, "i acknowledge one aristocracy—the aristocracy of intellect. i teach my children to have respect for thinking." she stared at me, and went away.

i am not prejudiced against the county people, but any superiority of manner annoys me. i simply have no use for ladies who live drifting lives. the lady-bountifuls, or should it be the ladies-bountiful? of britain would be much better as typists; in these days of alleged scarcity of labour they might come down and mix with the lower orders. their grace and breeding would do much to improve us, and we might be able to help them in some ways. i am not being cynical, i have a genuine admiration for the breeding and beauty of some society women.

the doctor and the minister are seldom patronised. i cannot for the life of me see[pg 124] why it is more lowly to cure a child of ignorance than measles.

i have heard it said that the real reason of the teacher's low social status is the fact that very often he is the son of a humble labourer. there is some truth in this. at the training college and the university the student meets men of his own class only; he never learns the little tricks of deportment that make up society's criterion of a gentleman. but for my part i blame the circumstances under which a dominie works. in scotland he is the servant of a school board, and a school board is generally composed of men who have but the haziest notion of the meaning of education. that is bad enough, but very often there is a feud between one or two members and the teacher. perhaps the teacher does not get his coals from mr. brown the chairman, perhaps mr. brown voted for another man when the appointment was made. it is difficult for a man who is ruled by a few low-idealed semi-illiterate farmers and pig-dealers to emphasise his social position.

larger areas have been spoken of by politicians. personally, i don't want larger areas;[pg 125] i want to see the profession run by the members, just as law and medicine are. it is significant that the medical profession has dropped considerably in the social scale since it allowed itself to work under the insurance act.

my ideal is an education guild which will replace the scotch education department. it will draw up its own scheme of instruction, fix the salaries of its members, appoint its own inspectors, build its own schools. it will be directly responsible to the state which will remain the supreme authority.

i blame the teachers for their low social status. to-day they have no idea of corporate action. they pay their subscriptions to their institute, and for the most part talk of stopping them on the ground that it is money wasted. the authorities of the institute try to work for a better union, but they try clumsily and stodgily. they never write or talk forcibly; they resemble the labour members of parliament in their having an eager desire to be respectable at any price. i don't know why it is, but when a professional man tries to put his thoughts on paper he almost always succeeds in saving nothing in many fine phrases.

[pg 126]

what is really wrong with the educational institute of scotland is hoary-headedness. it is run by old men and old wives. a big man in the institute is usually a teacher with thirty years' experience as a headmaster. well ... if a man can teach under the present system for thirty years and retain any originality or imagination at the end of that time he must be a genius.

i object to age and experience; i am all for youth and empiricism. after all, what is the use of experience in teaching? i could bet my boots that ninety-nine out of a hundred teachers use the methods they learned as pupil-teachers. experience! i have heard dominies expatiate on innovations like kindergarten and blackboard drawing. i still have to meet a dominie of experience who has any name but "fad" for anything in education later than 1880.

i have never tried to define the word "fad." i should put it thus:—a fad is a half-formed idea that a sub-inspector has borrowed from a bad translation of a distinguished foreigner's treatise on education, and handed on to a deferential dominie.

* * *

[pg 127]

an inspector called to-day; a middle-aged kindly gentleman with a sharp eye. his chief interest in life was tables.

"how many pence in fifty-seven farthings?" he fired at my highest class. when he found that they had to divide mentally by four, he became annoyed.

"they ought to know their tables," he said to me.

"what tables?" i asked.

"o, they should learn up that; why i can tell you at once what sixty-nine farthings are."

i explained humbly that i couldn't, and should never acquire the skill.

i did not like his manner of talking at the teacher through the class. when an inspector says, "you ought to know this," the scholars glance at the teacher, for they are shrewd enough to see that the teacher is being condemned.

he fired his parting shot as he went out.

"you must learn not to talk in school," he said.

i am a peaceful man, and i hate a scene. i said nothing, but i shall do nothing. if he returns he will find no difference in the school.

[pg 128]

the bairns did talk to each other when the inspector talked to me, but when he asked for attention he got it.

i am surprised to find that his visit does not worry me; i have at last lost my fear of the terror of teaching—h.m.i.s.

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