baby suggs talked as little as she could get away with because what was there to say that the rootsof her tongue could manage? so the whitewoman, finding her new slave excellent if silent help,hummed to herself while she worked.
when mr. garner agreed to the arrangements with halle, and when halle looked like it meantmore to him that she go free than anything in the world, she let herself be taken 'cross the river. ofthe two hard thingsstanding on her feet till she dropped or leaving her last and probably only livingchild — she chose the hard thing that made him happy, and never put to him the question she putto herself: what for? what does a sixty-odd-year-old slavewoman who walks like a three-leggeddog need freedom for? and when she stepped foot on free ground she could not believe that halleknew what she didn't; that halle, who had never drawn one free breath, knew that there wasnothing like it in this world. it scared her.
something's the matter. what's the matter? what's the matter?
she asked herself. she didn't know what she looked like and was not curious. but suddenly she sawher hands and thought with a clarity as simple as it was dazzling, "these hands belong to me.
these my hands." next she felt a knocking in her chest and discovered something else new: herown heartbeat. had it been there all along? this pounding thing? she felt like a fool and began tolaugh out loud. mr. garner looked over his shoulder at her with wide brown eyes and smiledhimself. "what's funny, jenny?"she couldn't stop laughing. "my heart's beating," she said.
and it was true.
mr. garner laughed. "nothing to be scared of, jenny. just keep your same ways, you'll be all right."she covered her mouth to keep from laughing too loud.
"these people i'm taking you to will give you what help you need. name of bodwin. a brotherand a sister. scots. i been knowing them for twenty years or more."baby suggs thought it was a good time to ask him something she had long wanted to know.
"mr. garner," she said, "why you all call me jenny?"'"cause that what's on your sales ticket, gal. ain't that your name? what you call yourself?""nothings" she said. "i don't call myself nothing."mr. garner went red with laughter. "when i took you out of carolina, whitlow called you jennyand jenny whitlow is what his bill said. didn't he call you jenny?""no, sir. if he did i didn't hear it.""what did you answer to?""anything, but suggs is what my husband name.""you got married, jenny? i didn't know it.""manner of speaking.""you know where he is, this husband?""no, sir.""is that halle's daddy?""no, sir.""why you call him suggs, then? his bill of sale says whitlow too, just like yours.""suggs is my name, sir. from my husband. he didn't call me jenny.""what he call you?""baby.""well," said mr. garner, going pink again, "if i was you i'd stick to jenny whitlow. mrs. babysuggs ain't no name for a freed negro."maybe not, she thought, but baby suggs was all she had left of the "husband" she claimed. aserious, melancholy man who taught her how to make shoes. the two of them made a pact:
whichever one got a chance to run would take it; together if possible, alone if not, and no lookingback. he got his chance, and since she never heard otherwise she believed he made it. now howcould he find or hear tell of her if she was calling herself some bill-of-sale name? she couldn't getover the city. more people than carolina and enough whitefolks to stop the breath. two-storybuildings everywhere, and walkways made of perfectly cut slats of wood. roads wide as garner'swhole house.
"this is a city of water," said mr. garner. "everything travels by water and what the rivers can'tcarry the canals take. a queen of a city, jenny. everything you ever dreamed of, they make it righthere. iron stoves, buttons, ships, shirts, hairbrushes, paint, steam engines, books. a sewer systemmake your eyes bug out. oh, this is a city, all right. if you have to live in a city — this is it."the bodwins lived right in the center of a street full of houses and trees. mr. garner leaped out andtied his horse to a solid iron post.
"here we are."baby picked up her bundle and with great difficulty, caused by her hip and the hours of sitting in awagon, climbed down. mr. garner was up the walk and on the porch before she touched ground,but she got a peep at a negro girl's face at the open door before she followed a path to the back ofthe house. she waited what seemed a long time before this same girl opened the kitchen door andoffered her a seat by the window.
"can i get you anything to eat, ma'am?" the girl asked. "no, darling. i'd look favorable on somewater though." the girl went to the sink and pumped a cupful of water. she placed it in babysuggs' hand. "i'm janey, ma'am."baby, marveling at the sink, drank every drop of water although it tasted like a serious medicine.
"suggs," she said, blotting her lips with the back of her hand. "baby suggs.""glad to meet you, mrs. suggs. you going to be staying here?" "i don't know where i'll be. mr.
garner — that's him what brought me here — he say he arrange something for me." and then, "i'mfree, you know."janey smiled. "yes, ma'am.""your people live around here?""yes, ma'am. all us live out on bluestone.""we scattered," said baby suggs, "but maybe not for long."great god, she thought, where do i start? get somebody to write old whitlow. see who took pattyand rosa lee. somebody name dunn got ardelia and went west, she heard. no point in trying fortyree or john. they cut thirty years ago and, if she searched too hard and they were hiding,finding them would do them more harm than good. nancy and famous died in a ship off thevirginia coast before it set sail for savannah. that much she knew. the overseer at whitlow'splace brought her the news, more from a wish to have his way with her than from the kindness ofhis heart. the captain waited three weeks in port, to get a full cargo before setting off. of theslaves in the hold who didn't make it, he said, two were whitlow pickaninnies name of...
在丽莲·加纳的家里，她从伤了她屁股的农活和麻痹她思想的疲惫中解脱出来；在丽莲·加纳的家里，没有人把她打翻在地（或强奸她）。她听着那白女人边干活边哼歌儿，看着她的脸在加纳先生进来时骤然亮起来，心想：这个地方更好，可我并不更好。在她看来，加纳夫妇施行着一种特殊的奴隶制，对待他们像雇工，听他们说话，把他们想知道的事情教给他们。而且，他不用他的奴隶男孩们配种，从来不把他们带进她的小屋，像卡罗来纳那帮人那样命令他们“和她躺下”，也不把他们的性出租给别的农庄。这让她惊讶和满意，也让她担忧。他会给他们挑女人吗？他认为这些男孩兽性爆发时会发生什么事呢？他在招惹天大的危险，他当然清楚。事实上，除非由他带着、否则不准离开“甜蜜之家”的命令，并不真是因为法律，而是考虑到对也是人生父母养的奴隶放任自流的危险才下达的。
贝比·萨格斯尽量少说话，以免惹麻烦，在她的舌头根底下又有什么可说的呢？这样，那个白女人发现她的新奴隶是个沉默的好帮手，就一边干活一边自己哼歌儿。
加纳先生同意了黑尔的安排，再说，在这个世界上似乎没有什么东西比让她获得自由对黑尔更有意义了，于是她就自愿被运过了河。在两件棘手的事情中———是一直站着，直到倒下；还是离开她最后的、恐怕也是唯一活着的孩子———她选择了让他高兴的那件难事，从来没问他那个常常令她自己困惑的问题：为什么？一个混到六十岁、走起路来像三条腿的狗似的女奴要自由干什么？
当她双脚踏上自由的土地时，她不能相信黑尔比自己知道得更多；不能相信从没呼吸过一口自由空气的黑尔，居然懂得自由在世界上无可比拟。她被吓着了。
出了点问题。出了什么问题？出了什么问题？她问自己。她不知道自己是什么模样，也不好奇。可是突然间她看见了自己的双手，同时，头脑中清晰的思绪既简单又炫目：
“这双手属于我。
这是我的手。
”紧接着，她感到胸口一声捶击，发现了另一样新东西：她自己的心跳。它一直存在吗？这个怦然乱撞的东西？她觉得自己像个傻瓜，就放声大笑起来。加纳先生扭过头，睁大棕色的眼睛看着她，也不禁笑了。
“有什么好笑的，珍妮？
”
她仍然笑个不停。
“我的心在跳。
”她说。
而这是真的。
加纳先生大笑起来。
“没什么可怕的，珍妮。原来怎么着，往后还怎么着，你不会出事的。
”
她捂着嘴，以免笑得太响。
“我带你去见的人会给你一切帮助。姓鲍德温。一兄一妹。苏格兰人。我认识他们有二十多年了。”
贝比·萨格斯认为这是个好时机，去问问她好久以来一直想知道的事情。
“加纳先生，”她问道，“你们为什么都叫我珍妮？
”
“因为那写在你的出售标签上，姑娘。那不是你的名字吗？你怎么称呼自己呢？
”
“没有，”她说，“我自个儿没称呼。
”
加纳先生笑得满脸通红。
“我把你从卡罗来纳带出来的时候，惠特娄叫你珍妮，他的标签上就写着你叫珍妮·惠特娄。他不叫你珍妮吗？
”
“不叫，先生。就算他叫过，我也没听见。
”
“那你怎么答应呢？
”
“随便什么。可萨格斯是我丈夫的姓。
”
“你结婚了，珍妮？我还不知道呢。
”
“可以这么说吧。
”
“你知道他在哪儿吗，这个丈夫？
”
“不知道，先生。
”
“是黑尔的爸爸吗？
”
“不是，先生。
”
“那你为什么叫他萨格斯？他的标签上也写着惠特娄，跟你一样。
”
“萨格斯是我的姓，先生。随我丈夫。他不叫我珍妮。
”
“他叫你什么？
”
“贝比。”
“是吗，”加纳先生说着，又一次笑粉了脸，“我要是你，就一直用珍妮·惠特娄。贝比·萨格斯太太对一个自由的黑奴来说，听着不像个名字。
”
也许不像，她心想，可“贝比·萨格斯”是她的所谓“丈夫”留下来的一切。是个严肃、忧郁的男人，教会了她做鞋。他们两人达成了协议：谁有机会逃就先逃走；如果可能就一起逃，否则就单独逃，再也不回头。他得到了一个机会，她从此再没了他的音讯，所以她相信他成功了。现在，如果她用某个卖身标签上的名字称呼自己，他怎么能够找到她、听说她呢？
她适应不了城市。人比卡罗来纳还多，白人多得让你窒息。二层楼房比比皆是，人行道是用切得整整齐齐的木板做的。路面像加纳先生的整幢房子一样宽。
“这是一座水城，”加纳先生说，“所有东西都从水上运来，河水运不了的就用运河。一个城市里的女王啊，珍妮。你梦想过的一切，他们这里都能造出来。铁炉子、扣子、船、衬衫、头发刷子、油漆、蒸汽机、书。裁缝行能让你眼珠子掉出来。噢，没错，这才是座城市呢。你要是必须住在城里———就是这儿啦。
”
鲍德温兄妹就住在一条挤满房屋和树木的大街的中段。加纳先生跳下大车，把马拴在结实的铁桩上。
“我们到了。
”
贝比拾起包袱，因为屁股的伤和几个小时的舟车劳顿，费了好大力气才爬下车来。加纳先生在她落地之前就到了甬道和门廊，而她瞄见门开处一个黑人姑娘的脸，就从一条小路向房后绕去。她似乎等了很久，那同一个姑娘才打开厨房门，请她在窗前的座位上坐下。
“我给你拿点吃的好吗，太太？
”姑娘问。
“不了，亲爱的。我只是挺想喝点水的。
”那个姑娘走到洗碗池边压了一杯水。她把杯子放到贝比·萨格斯的手上。
“我叫简妮，太太。
”
贝比在水池边迟疑了一下，但还是把水喝个精光，尽管它喝起来像一种正儿八经的药。
“萨格斯。”她用手背抹着嘴唇，说道，“贝比·萨格斯。
”
“很高兴见到你，萨格斯太太。你要在这儿留下来吗？
”
“我不知道我会留在哪儿，加纳先生———是他带我来这儿的———他说他给我安排好了。
”然后她又说道：
“我自由了，你知道。
”
简妮笑了。
“是的，太太。
”
“你家里人住在附近吗？
”
“是的，太太。我们都住在蓝石路。
”
“我们都失散了。
”贝比·萨格斯道，“可也许不会太久的。
”
万能的上帝啊，她想，我从何处开始呢？找人写信给惠娄。看看谁带走了帕蒂和罗莎丽。她听说，有个叫丹的要了阿黛丽亚到西部去了。犯不上去找泰瑞或者约翰。他们三十年没有音讯了，要是她找得太紧而他们又正在东躲西藏，找到他们就会使他们反受其害。南希和菲莫斯死在了弗吉尼亚海岸一艘将驶往萨凡纳的船上。她知道的就这些。是惠特娄那里的工头给她带来的信儿，倒不是工头怎么心地善良，而是因为他想让她听他的摆布。船长在港口等了整整三个星期，塞满了货船才启航。在货舱里没活下来的奴隶当中，他说，有两个是惠特娄的小黑鬼，名字叫……
