"there was only one thing that disappointed me," mrs. malt was saying at the dinner table of the cologne hotel, "and that wasn't so much what you would call a disappointment as a surprise. white windows-blinds in a robber castle on the rhine i did not expect to see."

i slipped away before momma had time to announce and explain her disappointments, but i heard her begin. then i felt safe, for criticism of the rhine is absorbing matter for conversation. the steamer's custom of giving one stewed plums with chicken is an affront to civilisation to last a good twenty minutes by myself. i tried to occupy and calm isabel's mind with it as we walked over to the station, under the twin towers of the cathedral, but with indifferent success. to add to her agitation at this crisis of her life, the top button came off her glove, and when that happened i felt the inutility of words.

we passed the policemen on the cathedral square with affected indifference. we believed we were not liable to arrest, but policemen, when one is eloping, have a forbidding look. we refrained, by mutual arrangement, from turning once to look back for possible pursuers, but that is not a thing i would undertake to do again under similar circumstances. we even had the hardihood to buy a box of chocolates on the way, that is, isabel bought them, while i watched current events at the confectioner's door. the station was really only about seven minutes' walk from the hotel, but it seemed an hour before i was able to point out dicky, alert and expectant, on the edge of the platform behind the line of cabs.

"so near the fulfilment of his hopes, poor fellow," i remarked.

"yes," concurred isabel, "but do you know i almost wish he wasn't coming."

"don't tell him so, whatever you do," i exclaimed. "i know dicky's sensitive nature, and it is just as likely as not that he would take you at your word. and i will not elope with you alone."

i need not have been alarmed. isabel had no intention of reducing the party at the last moment. i listened for protests and hesitations when they met, but all i heard was, "have you got the bag?"

dicky had the bag, the tickets, the places, everything. he had already assumed, though only a husband of to-morrow, the imperative and responsible connection with isabel's arrangements. he told her she was to sleep with her head toward the engine, that she was to drink nothing but soda-water at any of the stations, and that she must not, on any account, leave the carriage when we changed for paris until he came for her. it would be my business to see that these instructions were carried out.

"what shall i do," i asked, "if she cries in the night?"

but dicky was sweeping us toward the waiting-room, and did not hear me. he placed us carefully in the seats nearest the main door, which opened upon the departure platform, full of people hurrying to and fro, and of the more leisurely movement of shunting trains. the lamps were lighted, though twilight still hung about; the scene was pleasantly exciting. i said to isabel that i never thought i should enjoy an elopement so much.

"i shall enjoy settling down," she replied thoughtfully. "dicky has promised me that all the china shall be hand-painted."

"you won't mind my leaving you for five seconds," said mr. dod, suddenly exploring his breast-pocket; "the train doesn't leave for a quarter of an hour yet, and i find i haven't a smoke about me," and he opened the door.

"not more that five seconds then," i said, for nothing is more trying to the nerves than to wait for a train which is due in a few minutes and a man who is buying cigars at the same time.

dicky left the door open, and that was how i heard a strangely familiar voice, with an inflexion of enforced calm and repression, suddenly address him from behind it.

"good evening, dod!"

i did not shriek, or even grasp isabel's hand. i simply got up and stood a little nearer the door. but i have known few moments so electrical.

"my dear chap, how are you?" exclaimed dicky. "how are you? staying in cologne? i'm just off to paris."

i thought i heard a heavy sigh, but it was somewhat lost in the trundling of the porters' trucks.

"then," said arthur page, for i had not been deceived, "it is as i supposed."

"what did you suppose, old chap?" asked dicky in a joyous and expansive tone.

"you do not go alone?"

the bitterness of this was not a thing that could be communicated to paper and ink.

"why, no," said dicky, "the fact is——"

i saw the wave—it was characteristic—with which mr. page stopped him. "i have been made acquainted with the facts," he said. "do not dwell upon them. i do not, cannot, blame you, if you have really won her heart."

"so far as i know," said dicky, with some hauteur, "there's nothing in it to give you the hump."

"why waste time in idle words?" replied arthur. "you will lose your train. i could never forgive myself if i were the cause of that."

"you won't be," said dicky sententiously, looking at his watch.

"but i must ask—must demand—the privilege of one parting word," said arthur firmly. "do not be apprehensive of any painful scene. i desire only to wish her every happiness, and to bid her farewell."

mr. dod, though on the eve of his wedding day, was not wholly oblivious of the love affairs of other people. i could see a new-born and overwhelming comprehension of the situation in his face as he put his head in at the door and beckoned to isabel. evidently he could not trust himself to speak.

"miss portheris," he said, with magnificent self-control, "mr. page. mr. page would like to wish you every happiness and to bid you farewell, isabel, and i don't see why he shouldn't. we have still five minutes."

there are limits to the propriety of all practical jokes, and i walked out at once to assure arthur that his misunderstanding was quite natural, and somewhat less exquisitely humorous than mr. dod appeared to find it.

"i am merely eloping too," i said, "in case anything should happen to isabel." realising that this was also being misinterpreted, i added, "she is not accustomed to travelling alone."

we had shaken hands, and that always makes a situation more normal, but there was still plainly an enormous amount to clear up, and painfully little time to do it in, though dicky with great consideration immediately put isabel into the carriage and followed her to its remotest corner, leaving me standing at the door, and arthur holding it open. the second bell rang as i learned from mr. page that the pattersons had gone to newport this summer, and that it was extremely hot in new york when he left. as the guard came along the platform shutting up the doors of the train, arthur's agitation increased, and i saw that his customary suffering in connection with me, was quite as great as anybody could desire. the guard had skipped our carriage, but it was already vibrating in departure—creaking—moving. i looked at arthur in a manner—i confess it—which annihilated our two months of separation.

"then since you're not going to marry dod," he inquired breathlessly, walking along with the train—"i've heard various reports—whom, may i ask, are you going to marry?"

"why, nobody," i said, "unless——"

"well, i should think so!" ejaculated arthur, and in spite of the frightful german language used by the guard, he jumped into the carriage.

he has maintained ever since that he was obliged to do it in order to explain his presence on the platform, which was, of course, carrying the matter to its logical conclusion. it seemed that the senator had advised him to come over and meet us accidentally in venice, where he had intimated that reunion would be only a question of privacy and a full moon. on his arrival at venice—it was his gondola that we shared—the senator had discouraged him for the moment, and had since constantly telegraphed him that the opportune moment had not yet arrived. finally poppa had written to say that, though he grieved to announce that i was engaged to dicky, and he could not guarantee any disengagement, he was still operating to that end. this, however, precipitated mr. page to cologne, where observation of our movements at a distance brought him to the wrong conclusion, but fortunately to the right platform. as isabel remarked, if such things were put in books nobody would believe them.

"whom are you going to marry?"

"whom are you going to marry?"

it seemed quite unreasonable and absurd when we talked it over that arthur and i should travel from cologne to dover merely to witness the nuptials of dicky and isabel. as dicky pointed out, moreover, our moral support when it came to the interview with mrs. portheris would be much more valuable if it were united. there would be the registrar—one registrar would do—and there would be the opportunity of making it a square party. these were dicky's arguments; arthur's were more personal but equally convincing, and i must admit that i thought a good deal of the diplomatic anticipation of that magnificent wedding which was to illustrate and adorn the survival of the methods of the doge of venice in the family of a senator of chicago. and thus it was that we were all married sociably together in dover the following morning, despatching a telegram immediately afterwards to the senator at the cologne hotel as follows:

"we have eloped.

(signed) r. and i. dod.

a. and m. page."

later on in the day we added details, to show that we bore no malice, and announced that we were prepared to await the arrival of the rest of the party for any length of time at dover.

we even went down to the station to meet them, where recriminations and congratulations were so mingled that it was impossible, for some time, to tell whether we were most blessed or banned. even in the confusion of the moment, however, i noticed that mr. mafferton made miss callis's baggage his special care, and saw clearly in the cordiality of her sentiments toward me, and the firmness of her manner in ordering him about, that the future peer had reached his last alternative.

i rejoice to add that the day also showed that even count filgiatti had fallen, in the general ordering of fates, upon happiness with honour. i noticed that emmeline vigorously protected him from the customs officer who wished to confiscate his cigarettes, and i mentioned her air of proprietorship to her father.

"why, yes," said mr. malt, "he offered himself as a count you see, and emmeline seemed to think she'd like to have one, so i closed with him. there isn't anything likely to come of it for three or four years, but he's willing to wait, and she's got to grow."

i expressed my felicitations, and mr. malt added somewhat regretfully that it would have been better if he'd had more in his clothes, but that was what you had to expect with counts; as a rule they didn't seem to have what you might call any money use for pockets. in the meantime they were taking him home to educate him in the duties of american citizenship. emmeline put it to me briefly, "i'm not any daisy miller," she said, "and i prefer to live out of rome."

once a year the present lady mafferton invites mrs. portheris to tea, and i know they discuss my theory of engagements in a critical spirit. we have never seen either miss nancy or miss cora bingham again, and i should have forgotten the names of mr. pabbley and mr. hinkson by this time if i had not written them down in earlier chapters. arthur and i have not yet made up our minds to another visit to england. we have several friends there, however, whom we appreciate exceedingly, in spite, as we often say to one another, of their absurd and deplorable accent.