"not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of god."—2 cor. iii. 5.
o god! do thou bend thy pitying eye upon me this night, as i venture once more into thy sacred presence. what mercy it is that, with all my great unworthiness, a throne of grace is still open, and a god of grace is still waiting to be gracious!
i come to thee in deep creature-destitution, bringing nothing in my hands, but simply cleaving, blessed jesus, to thy cross; looking away from my guilty self and my guilty doings to thee, who hast done all and suffered all for me, i rejoice to think that thou hast broken {64} every chain of condemnation—that thou hast satisfied the requirements of a broken law; and having overcome the sharpness of death, thou hast opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers.
oh let me not continue in sin because all this wondrous grace abounds. let me not think lightly of the accursed thing which was the cause of all thine untold and unutterable anguish. i know, lord, that i am apt at times to plead vain excuses for my sins. i am unwilling to think them, and to think myself, so vile as i really am, in thy pure and holy eye.
my heart is deceitful; but "thou art greater than my heart." oh bring me in self-renouncing lowliness to cry out, "god be merciful to me a sinner." let me cling to no remnants of my own self-righteousness. let me see that my best actions are marred with defilement and mingled with impure and unworthy motives.
enable me to aim more and more at the conquest of self. show me the plague of my own heart. keep me from all that is unamiable and selfish, from all that is unkind and uncharitable, and that would exalt myself at the expense of {65} others. keep me holy. keep me lowly.—lead me through the valley of humiliation. may life become more one grand effort to crucify sin and to please god. take, gracious saviour, my whole heart, and make it thine; occupy it without a rival. may there be no competing affection. keep me from alienating existence from its great end, by living to myself. may this be the superscription on all my thoughts, and duties, and engagements—"i am not my own, i am bought with a price."
may whatever be thy time be mine. may i not murmur at deferred blessings or disappointed hopes. may my own will be resolved into the will of him who knows best what to give and what to withhold.
may the lord have mercy upon zion. may showers of blessing descend on thy holy hill. hasten the glories of the latter day, when jesus shall take to himself his great power and reign!
bless all my dear friends; may those ties which may be so soon severed here be rendered indissoluble by grace. guard their couch and mine this night; give us refreshing sleep, lying down in thy fear, and awaking in thy favor, {66} fitted for all the duties of a new day. and all we ask or hope for is for the redeemer's sake. amen.
"let my prayer be set forth before thee as
incense: and the lifting up of my hands
as the evening sacrifice."
