taken prisoner, and removed to boulogne gaol—asked to dinner by general lemaroix—news of perceval’s assassination—parole refused—marched to montreuil-sur-mer—on to hesdin; being footsore, author insists on having a carriage—drives to arras.
when the tide had receded sufficiently for the enemy to board us without wetting their delicate feet, about one hundred and fifty disgraced our decks. about thirty of these civil gentlemen, principally officers, paid a visit to my cabin without asking permission. the wine, of which i had ten dozen on board, was their first object, which i make no doubt they found suited their palate, as they drank it with much zest. my clothes, spyglasses, knives and forks, as well as the crockery-ware, were seized on in turn; and it appeared by their smirking looks and lively conversation that all they had achieved was perfectly to their satisfaction, and that instead of plundering a few ship-wrecked sufferers they had only been asked to a fête given by me. the commanding officer of these brave and honest men desired us to go on shore, where we were met by another officer, who ordered us to the guard-house near the battery, and an hour afterwards we marched for boulogne, which [pg 302]was four miles distant, escorted by about forty of our tormentors. on our arrival we had the unexpected happiness of being lodged in the common gaol, cooped up in a dirty tiled room of twelve feet by eight, with a small well-grated window. “well,” said i to the doctor, who had remained behind to dress the wounded, “what will the marines say to this? the sailors will never believe it.” whilst we were prosing with our elbows on our knees and our chins on our thumbs, looking very dolefully at each other, the ill-looking man who had locked us up made his appearance with a servant in a rich livery, who asked in french for the commandant. i stood up and said i was that person, on which he presented me with the following note:—
“le général comte lemaroix, aide de camp de sa majesté l’empereur et roi, commandant en chef le camp de boulogne, etc, prie monsieur hoffeman, officier, de lui faire l’honneur de venir d?ner avec lui aujourd’hui, lundi, à 4 heures.
“r.s.v.p.”
“now,” said i, “doctor,” addressing my surgeon, “you are my senior in age and i think in experience; be my mentor on this occasion. in the first place, i have no inclination to go, for i am too sulky; in the second, i am wet and dirty.” “oh, do go, sir!” they all exclaimed. “it may better our situation, and we may have our parole.” “on your account i will accept the invitation,” said i. as i had no writing implements i sent a verbal answer in the affirmative, and made myself as much an [pg 303]adonis as i was able. at the appointed hour the same servant and two gendarmes made their appearance, and from the gaol to the general’s house i appeared, to judge by the people staring at me, to be the lion of the day. on my arrival i was ushered into the general’s presence. the comte lemaroix, who was about forty years of age, was of a pleasing manner and countenance. he informed me he was sorry for my misfortune, but it was the fortune of war. i apologised for my dress, which was as wretched as my thoughts. at this time a young man in the french naval uniform came to me and asked me how i was. i remembered him as one of the officers sent to capture us. he spoke indifferent english, and as my knowledge of the french language was slight, i was glad to pair off with him. at the dinner-table were ten officers and one lady. i was seated on the left side of the comte. i cut a sorry figure among so many smart and star-coated men. the dinner was plentiful and good, and everybody chatty and in good humour, in which i could not help, notwithstanding my situation, taking a part. after we had taken our coffee i naturally concluded i should be on parole. when i took my leave the captain in the navy and another officer said they would walk with me as it was dusk, and i presumed we were going to an inn—but, oh, horror of horrors! i was conducted to the prison from whence i came. they there wished me good-night, and i wished them at the devil. next morning, after a restless [pg 304]night on a bed of straw, we were awakened by the grim, hard-featured gaoler who had been kind enough to lock us up. he asked the doctor if we wished to have breakfast, and if we could pay for it; he answered in the affirmative. this turnkey gentleman informed us that our first admiral, mons. poncevan, had been killed by an assassin. this report puzzled all our wise heads. an hour afterwards our café-au-lait entered, and with it the principal gaoler, or, as he was called, mons. le gouverneur. he was a stout, square-built man, and gave us an inquisitive look. the doctor, who was an irishman and our interpreter, asked him the news, and if he were ever at cork. “no,” answered he, “i never was in america! but,” said he, “i understand that your prime minister, mr. piercevell, has been shot by an assassin.” he meant mr. percival. we were sorry to hear such bad news, as mr. percival was certainly a loss to his country and his large family. however, it did not destroy our appetite for breakfast. the considerate governor only charged us as much more for it as we should have paid at the best coffee-house in the town.
after two days of durance vile i was visited by three very wise-looking men, who, i understood, were some sort of lawyers. one of them produced a printed paper, and asked me if i were acquainted with its contents. i answered, “no.” “do you know for what purpose they were intended, for we have more than thirty of them which were found on board your ship?” i answered as before. “this [pg 305]appears very extraordinary that you, as captain of the ship where they were found, should not know they were on board her.” “it may be so,” i answered with indifference. “you may think it a trifle,” said one of them, “but it may, without it is satisfactorily explained, prove in the end very serious to you.” “indeed,” returned i, “that will be still more extraordinary. probably it may be the means of a change of residence, for i cannot be worse off than where i am at present.” “monsieur chooses to be pleasant, but he must give us some account of these papers before we leave him.” one of them then translated their contents. as i had never heard of them before i was rather struck with their purport, which was to create a counter-revolution, and cause that english-loving man, bonaparte, to be dethroned. “doctor,” said i, “do you know anything about these terrible papers?” “very little,” replied he. “they were, i believe, in circulation about two years ago, in mr. pitt’s time, and they were called his projects, for he loved napoleon with all his heart.” “pray,” said i, turning to the commissioner who had the longest and most snuffy nose, and who had translated the paper, “in what part of the vessel were these projects found?” “in the second cabin,” was his answer. he meant the gun-room, where the officers slept and messed. “what is their date?” “1808.” “come,” resumed i, “i think you will not shoot me this time. i did not join the ship until 1810, when they were never given into my [pg 306]charge. now, gentlemen, you may either remain or depart; no more answers or explanation will i give.” they grouped into the corner of the room, and after taking a pinch of snuff with a few shrugs of their shoulders and some whispering, took their leave.
soon after the turnkey appeared with another worthy person as interpreter, and to whom i was to pay three francs a day and give him a dinner. i remonstrated, and said the doctor was my interpreter. “bah, bah!” said the fellow, and marched out of the room, the door of which he locked. this person, whom the turnkey had so unceremoniously introduced, had, it appeared, been sent for by the gouverneur, as he chose to understand we wished to have “un ma?tre de la langue fran?aise,” who could act as interpreter when required. the poor man, who appeared as if he had fallen from a balloon, apologised for the intrusion, which he said did not lie with him, he had been sent for and came, but that when the turnkey unlocked the door he would withdraw. “no,” said i, “as you are here and you speak good english,” which he did, “i will, if you have a grammar, take a lesson in french, and you may come every day during our stay in this abominable place, which i suppose will not be long.” he pulled a grammar from his pocket, and i began with the verbs. “i intend sending a letter to the comte lemaroix. will you,” said i to him, “take it for me?” “willingly,” replied he. i drew it up, and he translated it. it was [pg 307]to request that myself and officers might have our parole, but as day after day rolled on i do not think he received it, as my request was not complied with.
i was again examined by a military court respecting those fearful papers, but they, as well as myself, were not satisfied, i for being sent for on so useless an errand, and losing my french lesson, and they because they could not discover whether i was a spy, or prove that i had circulated those papers among the fishing boats. after this tedious and ridiculous examination the president, who appeared half sailor and half soldier, asked me in so mild a manner as if sugar-candy would not have dissolved in his mouth, “pray, sir, will you acquaint me how many cruisers you have in the channel?” “your question, mr. president, is a delicate one,” replied i, “and the only way you can gain that information is to send all your frigates that have been lying at anchor so long in your different harbours to ascertain the fact.” i thought my answer made him look cross, two others look sulky, and the remainder smile. “i think we may discharge the prisoner,” said he, turning to the other wise men; “we can elucidate nothing.” “no,” said i to myself, “you will get nothing out of me.” on the tenth day after the shipwreck we were ordered to march, and had the honour of having two livery servants, in the shape of gendarmes on horseback, to attend us. i begged to have a carriage, but i was refused, although i offered to pay liberally for one.
[pg 308]
we reached montreuil-sur-mer in the evening, where we marched into the common gaol. i was much fatigued, as i had never walked so far in my life; my feet were becoming blistered, and i was very hungry. “do,” said i, “doctor, let us have something to eat, for we have fasted since breakfast. have they any eggs?” the gouverneur du chateau appeared, and informed us he had plenty of eggs, and could give us a fricassée de mouton and pommes de terre au ma?tre d’h?tel, “but,” added the doctor, “those d——d fellows the gendarmes must dine with us.” this i did not like, and requested him to speak to the gaoler, which he did; but the former declared it was customary, when they escorted prisoners they always eat with them. we were obliged to conform to the nuisance. after dinner, or rather supper, or, more correctly speaking, the two in one, i fell asleep in my chair until a dirty-looking girl shook me by the arm to say that my bed was ready. i gave her a look that had she been milk it would have turned her into vinegar. i followed her, however, into a room about twelve feet by seven, where there were two crib bedplaces like those on board the packets. they were, considering the place, tolerably decent, and i turned in half-rigged. at half after two in the morning our two horse attendants had the civility to wake us out of tired nature’s sweet reposer, balmy sleep. i looked daggers, and they looked determined on their plan of making us march at three o’clock. the dirty, but civil damsel, brought me [pg 309]a basin of water. i shook my feathers and refreshed myself. she then appeared with some porringers filled with what she called café-au-lait—i.e., milk bedevilled, and some tolerable bread and salt butter. however, as we presumed we had another long march to encounter, we made no hesitation in accepting it, and for which and the supper i had to pay most extravagantly. we began our agreeable walk before daybreak, accompanied by our two attendant cavaliers. as i walked rather lame one of them offered me his horse, which i thought civil. i declined it, as i preferred walking with my officers, although in pain.
about three in the afternoon we reached hesdin, our destination for that night, having marched nineteen miles, and were ushered into the gaol. “may the devil run a-hunting with these rascally vagabonds!” said the doctor. “amen,” responded the rest. we were put into a dirty brick-floored room with a grated window, in which there were three beds. “now,” said i to the doctor, “let us hunt for something to eat, for notwithstanding all my miseries i am very hungry.” the gouverneur du chateau made his appearance; he was a brigadier of gendarmes. “what do you wish?” said he. “what have you to eat?” asked the man of physic. “eggs, a fowl, and some excellent ham.” “let us have them,” cried i, “as soon as possible.” whilst these good things were getting ready i bathed my feet in warm water, they were much swollen, and the blisters on them had broken. [pg 310]i afterwards rubbed them with brandy. the dinner was put on table, and the gendarmes took their seats sans fa?ons. after i had taken my second tumbler of wine i began to revive. the dinner was not bad, and by the time it was finished we were in good humour. “now,” said i, “doctor,” for he was my factotum, “tell our attendants if they will not allow me to have some kind of carriage i will not step a foot further. my feet are so bad i cannot walk, and they must carry me.” the brigadier was sent for, and after a consultation of a few minutes i was told i might have one if i paid for it, but it could be only a covered cart. “very well,” said i, “any port in a storm.” we were now informed it was time to go to rest. this was no punishment; and notwithstanding being bug- and flea-bitten, i slept well and forgot all my sorrows. at six i was roused by the men at arms, had a tolerable good breakfast, and stepped into my travelling machine with two of my officers, the top of the cart being so low we were obliged to lie down, and if it had not been for its abominable jolting we should have found ourselves snug enough.
